This came out darker than I expected, To everyone who expected a happy reunion- this is not it. This if anything, is as dark as pitch. Jamie basically feels abandoned. She's going through the motions. This chapter puts her through hell. She's run out of tears, run out of feelings- to the point where she just has to stop, because she has nothing left to give. So... yeah. You've been warned. Please review. I don't care anout what. Anything- my characterization, the way I describe things, just... anything.
My writing kinda reflects my current feelings. Not suicidal or crazy depressed, but... tired. That about covers it. It's getting dark early here, cold, and winter depression. Not to mention you sometimes just embarass yourself, and think you'll never be good enough. So any feedback you can give would be amazing. Thanks.
She woke up alone.
She blinked once, twice, trying to wipe the sleep from her eyes.
"Dad?" she managed to get out. She sat up, then, knees to her chest, arms resting on her knees, and brushed a grimy lock of hair from her face to see everyone was staring at her.
In an instant, she was wide awake, scrambling over and grabbing her gun before stumbling to her feet, aware something had happened.
"Dad?" she asked again, eyes sweeping the room carefully as she stood.
"He's gone." Sasha said, voice brittle. "Bob, Daryl, and Carol are gone."
She looked to Rick for confirmation, and his expression told her what she needed to know.
She hit her breaking point, right then and there, the floodgates broke, and she knew she had less than ten seconds before she was going to break down and cry.
She turned and fled the church, then, staring at her boots to hide the tears as she scrambled out the door, clawing her way up into the branches of the closest tree she could find and taking refuge off the ground, tears falling down her face like rain.
She refused to indulge them, though, refused to wail and cry like a child. She just sat numbly in the darkness, the silence, wondering if the last words her father had heard her say would be ones of anger.
"She'll be back." Rick said calmly. "She isn't stupid."
"We need to move. Now. Three of your people missing- Eugene's in danger, meaning I need to extract his ass."
"Daryl and the others will be back." Rick said firmly. "Nobody is going anywhere."
Abraham scoffed. "Well then- you keep hoping and waiting- we have a world to save."
He turned, boots echoing on the hardwood floor as he headed towards the door. He stopped, however, when he ready a gun cocking behind him.
"You are NOT taking the bus." Rick growled, voice guttural and menacing.
Abraham turned, then, chuckling. "In case you haven't noticed- I don't take orders from you. I have one mission- get his ass-" he pointed angrily at Eugene. "To Washington. That doesn't involve taking orders you."
Rick glared at the massive ginger, lowering his gun. Abraham took a step closer to the man, they were clearly staring one another down...
"Everyone just calm the fuck down!" Glenn ordered, stepping between the two. "If you just wait until morning... Maggie and I will go with you."
Rick stared. "Glenn you... you don't have to do that..."
"No. I do. We do." Glenn nodded towards Maggie.
Tara stood. "I'll go, too."
"Tara..."
"No, really. It's okay." Tara said calmly, staring at the group before her.
"So... there you have it. Stay until noon tomorrow, and you'll have three people to help you in Washington."
Abraham grunted, before nodding slightly. "Fine. But only until noon..."
At that exact moment, Jamie started screaming.
She'd been sitting in the tree, staring up at the stars, hopeless. She'd heard the noise, of course, looked down to see a car pulling up in front of the church. Her heart jumped to her throat, then, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.
Three figures got out, she eagerly scanned every face. She could see Bob- everyone else, she couldn't make out.
All at once, they threw Bob onto the leaves, firing their guns off into the air with the point of attracting walkers to him before jumping back in their car.
She watched, horrified, as the darkness came to life, walkers stumbling out of the woods eagerly, gunshots like a call to fresh meat.
Bob didn't move.
She didn't know what it was- adrenalin or hope that made her jump out of the tree, landing in front of Bob, and screaming she needed fucking backup as she took aim and started to shoot.
She aimed the gun with one hand, grabbing Bob beneath the arm with the other, intent on helping him up. A moment later he wobbled and fell back to the leaves, and she found herself staring at a bloody stump, shocked.
Bob looked up at her, brown eyes mournful. They were closing in.
"Go." was all he said. Like he knew he was a goner. She shook her head, refusing to believe it. A walker stumbled close to her, too close, and she offed it at point-blank, watching its head explode and blood fall like rain.
She heard the church door bang open, knew Rick would cover her, and she seized Bob under his arms, dragging him over towards the church steps.
By the time she was close enough, she was met with waiting arms as Carl and Tyreese took Bob from her. Rick grabbed her shoulder, yanking her up so she stood beside him on the church steps and offing a walker that'd come around the side of the church and was a foot or so from her.
She raised her chin towards him, a gesture of thanks, and he nodded, accepting it, before she turned back to the matter at hand, helping him off the last few stragglers.
Rick nudged her inside, then, before he and Abraham slammed the wooden doors shut behind them.
Bob was settled on the ground in the aisle between the pews, everyone else huddled around him. Jamie looked from his stump to where Sasha was caressing his cheek, crying her eyes out.
"We can fix it, honey, we can fix it..." she promised through her tears.
"I'm already gone." Bob admitted, pulling back the torn fabric of his shirt to reveal the bite. Surrounded by mottled, swollen flesh, it was clear it'd been there for hours.
Jamie turned away, bile rising in her throat at the sight as she fled back out the doors, her absence unnoticed amidst the frantic concern in the church.
She didn't want to see it. Didn't want to see a good man die, didn't want to see anyone cry, and most of all- didn't want to see a bite.
She hadn't seen one up close- at least, not on someone she knew- since she'd lost her Dad and sister. Ryder had been bitten, of course, but they'd simply torn a hunk of flesh out of his neck. Not left a clear impression of death...
She climbed back up into the branches, trying not to think about the dead man breathing that was inside.
Rick came out at some point, resting his hand on the bark of the tree and looking up at her.
"We need you inside."
She said nothing, simply staring out into the blackness that surrounded them.
Finally, she spoke, not bothering to look down. "My Dad?"
"Bob said he wasn't at their camp. I know you miss him Jamie- but I need you. Carl needs you. We have a plan- but we both know if it comes down to it... Carl might not pull the trigger. He might hesitate. You won't. I need you to look out for my boy."
She looked down at the man she'd come to think of as an uncle, studying his face. He looked sincere.
She wordlessly jumped down to land beside him, pulling her gun from her waistband.
Rick handed her a spare clip to her gun, nodding to her. "Daryl would be proud." he promised, placing a hand on her shoulder.
She wasn't so sure of this, however- but then again- when was she sure of anything anymore?
She chose to hide behind the altar, allowing the tablecloth- slightly torn, thanks to Carl tearing off a bandage for her- shield her from view. Everyone else was holed up in the Rectory, the room to the left of the altar.
She settled herself on her knees, doubled over with her gun in hand, peering out between the slight gap between tablecloth and floor.
Rick, Abraham- practically everyone filed out into the darkness, leaving them alone. They were gone.
She didn't pretend to think she'd come out of this unscathed. On the contrary, she was fucking scared, heart thrumming in her chest fast and hard like a rabbit's as she waited, perched beneath the cloth, of something to happen.
Rick had told her the plan, of course. But she'd only really heard half, because she'd been so damn relieved Daryl wasn't with the Terminus bastards. They'd gotten Bob- not her Dad, And they wouldn't get her either, she reasoned, as she tightened her grip on her pistol.
Rick had explained it to her- she was the second to last line of defense, hidden, here. He and the group that left were the first, she was the second- her goal was to stop the Terminus bastards into getting into the room that housed their people at all costs. And the people hidden in the Rectory themselves- Carl, Sasha, Tara, Tyreese, Gabriel, Eugene- were their last line, if things went to hell.
The door to the church swung open, pale moonlight illuminating the entrance. She watched the pairs of boots file in.
The only sound was boots meeting hardwood and the clink of weapons as they checked every pew, eying the darkness suspiciously.
Gareth- arrogant bastard- spoke first.
"We know you're here. We watched them leave. Carl, Judith, Jamie, Sasha, Tara, Tyreese...Bob." he smiled, teeth glinting slightly in the darkness at the mention of Bob. "Did you appreciate our gift? He was delicious..."
Any shred of humor in his eyes disappeared, however, as the silence continued. They wouldn't give themselves up.
Gareth's boots clicked onto the altar, now, she could see them a few feet from her, circling the altar like a shark. She was stuck. If she stayed, he'd find her- if she attacked, the others with him would turn her into swiss cheese. She swallowed quietly, listening to his boots echo as he walked back and forth between the two doors that led off the altar, contemplating.
"You give yourselves up, and we make it painless." he offered. "Jamie... hell, you might even join us. You're worth your salt, kid... if we can just break that loyalty the archer beat into you." he snarled the last part, and she felt her hackles rise on the back of her neck, teeth grit in fury that he'd DARE insult her father...
"Speak now, kid, or forever hold your peace."
Gareth scowled when there was absolutely no sound.
She was shocked he hadn't checked under the altar, hadn't parted the tablecloth and found her, but she was thankful. Thankful she'd picked such a shitty hiding place that no one would think to check it, believing it too obvious.
"You have until three to speak. One..."
She had until three to shoot the bastard. She wrapped her fingers around the handle of her gun, swallowing and noting the position of Gareth's boots beneath the table cloth. He stood in front of the altar, halfway between both doors. She could hit his legs, knock him down...
"Two..."
Before Gareth could finish counting, a loud wail split the air and the breath left her lungs in a rush. Judith... Judith had given their position away. They were fucked.
Gareth smiled, stepping towards the door on the left side of the altar and grinning. "Who knows- maybe we'll keep the kid. I'm beginning to like he-"
Gareth was interrupted by a gunshot that sent his pistol flying. He doubled over, shocked, pressing the stumps of what'd been his fingers into his shirt.
He grinned quietly, watching as Rick and everyone else in their impressive force filed in, guns up.
"Drop your weapons and kneel." Rick ordered, mouth set in a firm line as he walked purposefully forward.
She chose then as her moment to roll out from under the altar and stand, gun pointed at Gareth's head.
Gareth laughed dryly. "Kid knew which side to pick." he muttered, as he fumbled to get on his knees.
Rick walked up the aisle so he stood in front of Gareth, quietly unsheathing something from his belt- the red-handled machete.
Gareth's eyes widened. "You don't have to do this." he said calmly, nodding towards his sparse group of kneeling companions. "We get it. We'll leave here tonight and never cross paths again..."
Rick shook his head. "It's too late for that. I have a promise to keep."
She knew what was going to happen. Knew their goal was to kill them all. But she wasn't prepared for the pure terror, the animal fear she saw on Gareth's face as he locked eyes with her from where she stood beside Rick. Wasn't prepared to see that look before the blade crashed into his skull and blood spattered everywhere before the blade arched down again, wasn't ready for the screams of his companions as the guns went off.
And she definitely wasn't prepared to watch his eyes glaze over as he fell, to watch the life bleed out of them.
She hid it well, though, simply watching. She'd long since run out of tears. Besides, these people- they didn't deserve them.
The door to the rectory opened, Carl strode out, Judith in one arm, resting on his hip, pistol in the other. He looked down at the carnage remorsefully, before looking up at her.
She saw the shock in his eyes, realized Gareth's blood had spattered on her clothes. She saw the fear, then, in his features, he was wondering if she'd been a part of this, if she'd DONE THIS. That hurt. Almost as badly as Daryl being gone.
Gabriel stumbled out next, looking horrified.
"This... this is the lord's house."
"Fuck you and your god." she spat, turning and walking out the doors, unable to stand being inside with the bodies any longer.
She sat on the steps of the church, staring off numbly into the darkness of the night, before peeling off Daryl's leather vest.
She still wore it from when he'd given it to her two days ago, on that cold evening, it still smelled like him. Only now, it had a bloodstain on the shoulder.
It wasn't too bad, though- if she buried her nose deep enough on the leather, she could tune out the metallic scent and simply smell her Father- sweat, dirt, and motor oil. Even the comforting scent wasn't enough to make her smile.
She didn't care, though- she buried her face in the familiar leather and screamed, screamed for all she was worth, the leather muffling the sound so no one would hear it. She just wanted Daryl.
Mailbag
green angel01, Chapter 81
Great chapters! And I say chapters because I hadn't read the one before this. I love the interactions between Carol and Daryl, and also the ones between Carl and Jamie, and how Carl doesn't care whether their relationship is platonic or not, as long as there is one.
Thanks. I'm sticking to the Jamie/Carl, relationship, and shipping hard in the next few chapters. It's to the point where they've had one another's backs for years (1-2, from the kirkman timeline)- From the farm to the Prison, they've been with one another. There are few people you can trust left, but they're clearly on the same level.
As far as Brutality, however... We all see Carl isn't eager to kill, when he tries to convince Rick they're still good people in the world. Yet he understands the necessity of it, when they fight Terminus. But that doesn't mean he approves of how they do it.
Jamie, on the other hand... she's lost so much at this point, she won't hesitate to do what's needed to keep the shattered pieces on her lap.
BlossomLossy, Chapter 81
I hope everything works out well between Daryl and Jamie I hate seeing them like this...
Yeah. I know this is getting pretty damn angsty, but reconciliation is near. Still- Jamie will definitely be effected by this.
TLS The Lost Souls TLS, Chapter 81
Please update more frequently
I'm sorry, but I'm in general going to try to update on Sunday evening/Monday. I'm going along with Kirkman on this one, and I need to see what he does and mold the script around it. I'm currently training for the World Games in Martial Arts, (Dec 25-Jan 1). I'm in currently in advanced classes at school, and have to keep my grades up. I'm sorry I can't update more than that, but I'm flattered you like the story that much.
MissDarkBlu259, Chapter 81
love this chapter! poor jamie i wonder wat her reaction will be?
Jamie's reaction is definitely there in this, though it isn't necessarily physical. She still jumps down to help Bob. She still helps Rick kill walkers. She's hard-wired for survival, but I hope I've captured her emotional reaction well enough in my description and through her actions when danger isn't immediate.