Daryl spent a long minute staring himself in the mirror, watching the water run. How'd they gotten here? So used to being here, to amenities...
He looked up, continuing to scrub the dried blood from his arms. Jamie was no doubt doing the same. She was just as messy as he was from gutting that deer, but he's appreciated the help. Her hands were smaller, could make delicate cuts to get the most out of every kill.
Still, he couldn't help but worry about her. Things were different here- she was easily scared, and when she was startled, she'd react. And her reactions- while often life-saving outside the walls- scared people. He knew she'd never intentionally hurt anybody. But she was different than the rest of them- in the way that, while she was here, she was still living outside the walls. She'd never settle down or get used to being touched, to people coming over from nowhere and speaking to her...
But it was a good thing, he reminded himself. She got along just fine with everyone else in the group- sometimes she'd clean Glenn's rifle for him, oil up the barrel, or help Tara out with inventory. He'd catch her walking along with Rick sometimes, Rick listening seriously while she recounted a hunting trip or a walker that'd interested her, laughing at some of her observations or colorful language and ruffling her hair every now and again.
And he'd catch Abraham sharing a drink with her now and again. The man never gave her much- only a dixie cup full of whatever he was drinking- but it seemed to relax her a little, since she'd laugh at his crude jokes and take tiny sips of her drink, wringing out as much enjoyment as possible from the small measure.
But she was an outsider. He could see it in the way she walked when she was alone. Head down- eyes peering nervously at the people around her, afraid someone would try to strike up an awkward conversation, afraid she'd scare people, hurt someone...
And they treated her like one, too. He'd seen it in the way people's gaze shifted when she walked in the room, the way they fidgeted uncomfortably- like she was a stray dog, something that might snap and bite them.
It was good to be ready, good to be like she was, he reminded himself. After all- walls didn't last forever. The prison had taught them that all too well.
Still- he couldn't help but feel sad. She'd never really have friends- she had the group, of course, the Grimes boy- but she was an outcast.
Just like you. a voice in the back of his head muttered. Girl will never trust anybody. Always gonna live scared...
It was a good thing, though. She had to stay alive- friendships could come second. Besides- they'd only been here for a week, he reminded himself. She might fit in someday. But not anytime soon.
He sighed. It'd do him no good to evaluate his parenting skills, or lack thereof, now. Besides- it was late. It'd taken them two hours or so to gut the deer, and it was around eleven at night.
He toweled off his arms and chest, pulling a relatively clean shirt back on, and ditching his grubby jeans for a cleaner pair. Maybe he'd take a bath in a few days- he honestly didn't see the point in it, though, other than to ease Carol's nagging. After all- he'd just end up getting dirty again.
But he could think of that later, he reasoned, as he climbed beneath the blankets of his bed. It'd been awhile since he'd slept in a real bed, and he still wasn't over it. Back at the prison, they'd mainly slept in the guard towers, cushioning the floor with some blankets they'd been gifted. Beds were lumpy- but they were nice.
He grunted, settling down with his head on the pillow, before he closed his eyes and waited. The only sound was the alarm clock ticking beside the bed. Other than that- the night was totally silent.
It was a few minutes later when he heard the footsteps down the hall, and a moment later the door opened and Jamie stepped in.
"I can't sleep." she said plainly, just like she'd said every night for the past week.
Wordlessly, he lifted the blankets and patted the bed beside him.
"Boots off first." he added, almost as an afterthought. "Carol will have a fit if they get the sheets all dirty."
She nodded, stepping out of the boots and eagerly climbing into the bed beside him, after leaning her bow and quiver up against the nightstand.
A moment later she'd settled in beside him, burrowed beneath the blankets, cheek pressed against his shoulder as she laid on her stomach. He absently slung an arm across her back, and waited until her breathing evened out and she was asleep.
She'd been given her own room. Well, technically she was sharing it with Michonne, but she hadn't slept in it for the past week. Truthfully, he didn't mind. He found it hard to sleep alone- all those nights they'd spent, outside the walls, Jamie had either fallen asleep on him or near him. It wasn't sexual- it was practical. They'd always slept in groups, close together, weapons at hand in case something happened during the night. And honestly- he found it hard to sleep without her nearby. He'd grown used to the sounds of her breathing, the little shifts of position she'd make in her sleep, hell, even the way she smelled...
Even though there was no blood between them, he was this girl's father. That was what he thought as he brushed the chestnut locks away from her face, studying her expression in the darkness, the way the dull silver moonlight hit her face.
She looked so young when she was asleep- it was times like this he remembered she was only fourteen. Far too young to have been through the things she had, to have done the things she did...
But he couldn't change it.
At times he was afraid of what he was creating. She wasn't like other kids. Always on alert, she only trusted the group, kept her head down and her weapons close. He looked out the window when he heard a faint banging on the wall outside. A walker, no doubt.
Walls didn't last forever. That was what he thought when he looked over and saw the faint light hitting her bow, the fletchings of the home-made arrows shimmering slightly in the pale light. Sometimes he was afraid of what he was creating with Jamie- a girl who didn't trust people, a loner...
The banging on the wall outside intensified, before it fell silent. Sasha had no doubt taken care of it.
Sometimes he was afraid of what he was creating... but now wasn't one of those times.
He quietly kissed her forehead. "G'night, baby girl." he breathed simply, before laying his head down and going to sleep.
MAILBAG
Paty S, chapter 90/91
Jamie is amazing and if I had been out there that long I would have: 1: Die on the first week lol or 2: Fight and become like Jamie.
I think she's right this people have been living in walls since the apocalypse started and they don't see or have been true what the group has.
So what right do they have to gossip and pass judgment on others?
Daryl is amazing and a supportive father that teach us what's really important in this knew life.
I don't trust those Alexandria residents one bit, too fake for me, and the romance between Enid and Carl ( if we call what's been shown a romance) seems like a comic substitute for sophia role...don't like it one bit.
Good job on this chapter.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm generally having Jamie lay low- she doesn't know these people, and fir all she knows, they could be wolves in sheep's clothing. As time is passing, though- she's realizing something. These people are fucking helpless, and all the weird looks she's getting are uncomfortable. But she's the one who's alive. Not due to dumb luck, or because she can run- but because she's learned.
I feel like Daryl has a LOT to do with her success. Without him taking her in after Ryder's death, she's likely to have given up or been caught by someone who took advantage of her.
Daryl's THE embodiment of what a post apocalyptic father should be- he doesn't dance around, and he teaches her what she needs ti know ti survive. Alexandria, however, has been shielded from the shit for too long- the time will come when they've gotta pay their dues, and when they do- Jamie won't be going down with the ship, thanks to what Rick and Daryl (plus Carol) have taught her. Glad you're enjoying it! :)
The Rose of Hedylogos chapter 90 . Apr 6
I really liked this chapter!
I aslo hate Deanna... what's your opinion of her?
I feel Deanna's far too naïeve to be leading a group of this size. She's a politician, for gosh sakes- and in this new world, we can't dance around the issues. You either fucking pull the trigger or you don't. Nothing against her as a person, but damn- it's a miracle they've made it this far.