Summary: As far as Gen is concerned, his own birthday is no event of importance. Takahashi insists on the opposite and tries to make the occasion matter anyway.
Oneshot. Set some years before the main timeline of canon takes place. [TakahashixGen]
Author's Notes: Gen remains an ajin in this verse, because that's how I prefer things to be: The cold and relentless hands of Thanatos won't succeed in separating any more OTPs of mine as long as I'm on watch, sob.
My Home is the Sea
Gen came to a halt under the doorframe. Looking into the kitchen, not entering it.
"I'm on my way then, yes?"
The figure sitting at the table looked up at him, for a long second looking uncertain if they should direct their attention towards him or go back reading the newspaper lying in front of them. The next moment his mother reached for the cup of coffee standing on the table, taking a long sip. "Ah. Yes." Still looking uncertain she looked with a questioning glance at the sports bag slung over Gen's shoulder. He had picked the really small one but apparently it still attracted suspicion. "You just returned from school. Already leaving again?"
Gen's grip tightened on the strap. "I have basketball club. From school? We have training for the incoming tournament."
Hearing this the confusion on his mother's face finally left. Gen was starting to ask herself if she was hungover. On Saturdays she sometimes would be half of the day.
His mother took another sip of coffee, a short one. As if she hadn't been thirsty but had needed a moment to search for words: "Sure, of course. Have a good training then."
"Thanks. Might get really late today. With tournaments coming up."
Lowering her gaze towards the newspaper again his mother only nodded, a lagging gesture of her hand indicating that she had understood. "I see, of course. Have a good training then", she repeated. Something about the tense strain around her eyes let Gen assume she wasn't feeling too upset she would spend the rest of the afternoon with nothing but silence as a company.
Trying to appear unsuspicious Gen quietly left their tiny apartment, still gripping with his hand at the strap of the bag. He had quit the basketball club since shortly after New Year. His mother had never noticed.
It wasn't until he had reached the train station he felt brave enough to get out his phone, sending out a message, writing that he was on his way. His mother didn't forbid him to keep up contact with Takahashi, exactly, but the disapproving frown showing up on her face whenever the subject shifted towards him (or towards their father) did little to hide her reluctance about the entire matter. So Gen had decided that it simply meant less trouble to no longer mention the matter in front of her.
In the first few years after his parents had separated, Gen had often wanted to ask if his mother hadn't been missing Takahashi. He was pretty certain she was glad no longer having to see their father. But getting separated from one of her children also? Hadn't that made her sad? Sure, in the end she had often complained how much of a troublemaker Takahashi had become ("why can't you be as well behaved as your younger brother!? What kind of role model do you think you are?!"), but wouldn't she have missed him anyway? (What would it take until she might decide she wouldn't miss Gen in his absence either, but would feel relief to see him go away?)
Nowadays Gen no longer asked himself these questions. Partially because he had gotten the impression she had started to view Takahashi as "the child belonging to the former husband". Partially because he had grown sick trying to estimate and predict the thoughts of the adults around him. If they didn't see the need filling him in about the subject in question, frankly, then he didn't want to know anything about it.
He was still standing on the platform, waiting for his train to arrive, when the answer for his mail arrived: "So am I! About to arrive soon, see you later then!"
Reading this Gen felt a smile spread through his face, he couldn't help it. It wasn't until the train had arrived and started to leave again when he realized that he was still smiling, had done so this entire time: The girl sitting across from him at the other side of the carriage was giving him a badly hidden curious glance, only avoiding her gaze once he had realized she had been staring. Quickly she looked down on her own phone, beginning to type, starting to look embarrassed, as if she hadn't intended to stare to begin with.
Some gut feeling told him his absentminded smile had attracted her attention, letting her start to wonder who he was about to meet. The curiosity in her eyes had signalled her guess had been something along the line of "girlfriend". Gen looked out of the window, looking how this lazy day of early summer was passing by. Well, her guess hadn't been that far off.
Takahashi was waiting for him at the platform when his train arrived. Still having the incident with the staring middle schooler from before in mind (brat), Gen tried containing the newly arriving smile on his face into something more restricted. He had the strong suspicion he was failing at that hopelessly. "Did you have to wait long?"
Takahashi shook his head, smiling back. "No. Maybe a bit more than half an hour."
"This long!?"
"Wasn't long at all", Takahashi said, shrugging his shoulder. He took a sip from the soda can he was holding in his hand, gesturing at the town behind them. "Plus, it's warm and the rain has finally stopped. Waiting is no nuisance like this."
"But…"
"And I wouldn't have minded waiting during a snow storm either, just so you know", Takahashi insisted, sounding oddly motivated.
Taking a deep breath Gen felt his worry leave. If Takahashi insisted he didn't mind, then he meant it.
They left the station, making their way into the town. Outside of the station there was a billboard advertising the local Weapons & Arms museum (they even had several tanks!), the main highlight of this town, sharing its title of local highlight together with the smallish but pretty beach of this town. Both the reasons no one got suspicious when you went to this place during weekends. This, plus the town was placed pretty much in the middle between where Takahashi lived and where Gen, so deciding to meet here had started to feel logical.
Given neither of them had eaten lunch yet (or was it an early dinner already?), it felt logical as well they went to eat something, first of all. They went to the family diner they've had been at before: The kind of chain restaurant you'd seem to find in every small town like this. The place felt reasonably comfortable, had alright food and gave you the feeling that it left you be.
They got a table at the window. The place was lively at this hour but not overly full. Gen found himself staring down at the menu, finding it hard to choose.
Takahashi's voice pulled him out of his ponderings. "What are you taking?"
Gen shrugged his shoulders. "Something with fries."
The answer made Takahashi laugh. "That's a side food though."
"I want to have them anyway."
"You always pick fries as side, don't you?"
Nodding in confirmation Gen reflected the smile directed at him.
Taking a deep breath Takahashi continued in a lowered voice: "Pick whatever you want though. It's your birthday dinner."
Gen shook his head. "My birthday was on Thursday." The occasion wasn't that important, really.
"Yes. And now we're celebrating", Takahashi insisted, looking unfazed.
Gen couldn't help but feel how a warm fog was starting to spread through his chest. His birthday wasn't that important -there hadn't been any real attempt to celebrate it in years- but it was nice Takahashi cared anyway.
Waiting for the food to arrive he let his gaze wander, having to remind himself to not keep staring at Takahashi. He seemed to have grown some more since the last time they had seen each other. Not much (should stop growing taller any day now) but enough for his weight having had no time catching up properly, leaving him as lanky as he always had looked since they had started seeing each other again.
It was funny, all of the old memories he had left with Takahashi had still been set during grade school time. And then there just had been nothing for a long time, until about two years ago. Less than two years full of memories Gen couldn't properly place into a clearly labelled context. (No one cared about context. People had a quick glance at the surface and called the matter done.)
But then, it was the first time he wasn't dealing with a mere crush but had actually fallen in love. And if it was up to him it would remain the last time too: The mere thought of getting separated from Takahashi felt too painful. (He couldn't place either when they had started calling each other by their respective last names. It had just happened on its own, had suddenly felt like the most sensible thing to do. There was no clear cut context to what they were both dealing with these days.)
The day had turned out to be really cloudy but warm and kind of nice anyway. So, after they were done eating, they decided to go to the beach. Even if it was not to swim, it was just nice being near the sea. Seeing it. Hearing it.
Though it was Saturday, the place was moderately empty. "Looks like the clouds managed to scare away everyone after all", Gen said, gesturing at the almost empty space behind them.
Takahashi nodded, stepping closer to the shore: "The weather forecast was saying something about rain. At least at our place."
"Same with us."
"I don't feel like complaining though", Takahashi added in a lowered voice, looking Gen deep into the eyes.
Somewhere above them a seagull was crying, the sound seeming to leave an echo behind that filled the entire space around them.
Gen felt his face blush but held Takahashi's gaze. There was no reason not to; unlike earlier at the restaurant there was no one close to them right now. "I deserve a good birthday for once." He had no idea why he had just said that. He hadn't intended to complain.
But Takahashi looked unsurprised hearing this, only nodding briskly in understanding. "You do. That's what I'm here for."
Feeling his tension leave Gen felt rendered silent, an insecurity leaving he hadn't realized had been there all along.
Takahashi stepped closer, a gleam intensifying behind his eyes that had been muted all along. When he continued talking his voice had gotten very silent, a whisper barely above the volume of the waves: "Has your hair gotten longer again?"
Felling his blush from earlier getting stronger, Gen held his gaze, forced to look up now they were standing this close next to each other. "Yes. A bit, I guess." They hadn't seen each other since almost three months. Of course Takahashi would have realized. Would have paid attention.
"It looks good on you. Frames your face nicely on."
"Oh, come on now!" Gen hadn't really planned to object. Yet the words had spilled out and he heard himself laugh in embarrassment.
"Just pointing out the facts." Takahashi's smile had widened into a grin by now that looked practically smug.
Forcing his laughing fit to stop Gen nodded, a silent sign he was accepting the embarrassing stuff Takahashi always seemed to need forming out aloud. As if keeping thoughts he deemed important were impossible to keep silent about.
A bit the opposite of Gen, really.
Still feeling self-conscious Gen combed his hand through his bangs, brushing them away from his eyes. He had started letting his hair grow out a bit because he liked how it looked like, he actually agreed with Takahashi there. But he couldn't voice that one out loud.
His mother on the other side didn't like it this long and kept making that clear, very vocally so. But Gen had no plans bringing that one up. Not when he and Takahashi finally had time for each other. The entire rest would demand attention soon enough and Gen had no intention dragging this rest back earlier than necessary.
The next moment the seagull above them was crying again. Or maybe it had been another one: Those birds all looked the same, how were you supposed to tell them apart?
With the clouds hanging in low in the sky, dawn seemed to arrive especially early. They made their way towards their intended destination like this, towards the block of buildings already halfway out of town. There was a huge arcade located there, from the looks of it one of the main attractions on a Saturday evening for almost every bored high schooler in this place.
And there was a street behind it, away from the attention. It was there where the entrance of the other building was located, next to the parking lot belonging to it.
It really was a good thing it was one of those love hotels were you could get the room key you wanted from a vending machine placed in the entrance, no direct human interaction needed. Gen started to feel self-conscious anyway. In situations like these he felt violently glad that despite being brothers they looked not much alike; Gen coming more after the side of his father, Takahashi after his mother's. Well, in situations like these he still went nervous, with them being both guys and all, but that was another issue altogether.
The key to the room fell out of the vending machine, the dull noise causing a feeling of relief in Gen's stomach, making the heaviness in it leave. They found their room easily enough, not by coincidence; they had picked exactly the same one than last time.
The door closed behind them and Gen took a deep breath. "Finally, alone." He added no further explanation to that sentiment. He didn't need to. Next to him Takahashi made an agreeing noise, starting to pull Gen into a tentative hug, every movement resonating with the sentiment. There were people on the other side of this door, outside of this room. It went on like this constantly, the spaces they were moving through watched and observed ones, even though this danger to get the wrong sort of attention only might have been caused by an accident of nature instead of intended design. (It was alright if people assumed you were close friends. It was, however, vital not to appear to be too close.)
Tightening his own grip around Takahashi, burying his face into his shoulder, Gen asked himself if things might after all have been easier if people would have assumed them to be related. Only the next moment he dismissed the idea firmly, the knowing curiosity of that one bratty middle schooler on the train inserting itself vivid into his memory.
Takahashi leaned down, nuzzling softly against Gen's ear. "I know I said it before already, but: Happy Birthday!"
The phrase laid itself over Gen's mind, reaching the most forlorn parts of it. Sometimes you didn't realize you had been feeling cold the entire time until you had a chance to return into the warmth again. And like in this kind of winter's cold, the parts of your body that had already started to freeze would hurt the first few moments the warmth had the chance to engulf them again.
Gen suspected it was due to this a sudden objection left his mouth, even though the sentiment of it wasn't truly resonating with him anymore: "My birthday isn't that important to me, really."
"Still", Takahashi insisted, placing a light kiss on Gen's cheek, as if realizing Gen's protest had been rooted in some kind of twisted feeling of obligation instead of sincerity.
"But thank you", Gen said, leaning up to place a quick kiss on Takahashi's mouth, the gesture more fuelled on by loss of meaningful words than an attempt to end the discussion. Plus, standing around was beginning to feel seriously tiring. Taking Takahashi's hand and taking him with him, Gen flopped down on the bed. "I'm beat. Walking down here always seems to take an eternity."
Hearing this Takahashi had to laugh. "A bit, yes."
In fact, theoretically there would be a bus driving out here and further, but taking it felt unappealing for a pile of reasons. They had both decided so the last time already. Gen sighed, his gaze setting out of focus, into the distance, looking at the interior of the room. This hotel here was alright, he guessed. Clean, not shabby or anything. But it was very clear for what purpose it had been put into existence, with details like the empty window setting it apart from ordinary hotel rooms. (Not that Gen had much opportunity to compare. But last year, on the training camp of the basketball club, the windows of the room had been transparent and clear, is all he wanted to say here.)
Sensing his inner unrest, Takahashi scooted closer, pulling Gen into another hug. "Gotten this tired?"
"Just a bit from walking down here", Gen sighed, leaning into their embrace. It was surprising in an odd way how normal it felt, being close to each other like this, almost like some sort of routine that had been lying in the future, waiting for them to arrive, some sort of reassuring stability that had always been supposed to be. Was it normal things felt like a routine this quickly when you saw each other this seldom?
Takahashi leaned slightly back, enough so he could look Gen into the eyes: "Being out all day got to me too. Shall I put on the TV for now or something?"
"Do that. I wanted to have a look at the weather forecast anyway." Yes, clearing their head for a moment like this sounded like a good idea. It was not like they were in a rush: Tomorrow was Sunday and no one would expect them back home earlier than this. And if they got hungry this place had vending machines displaying food, no need to rush. (Gen had the suspicion his mother wouldn't be home this night anyway. Recently she would stay away late often, claiming to meet a "friend". Well, whoever it might be this time, Gen kind of gave her credit for not dragging those sort of friends back home with her. Their apartment was cramped enough as it was. And anyway.)
With the TV now on, they got in fact stuck with watching the evening news. Not that Gen was complaining about that. He just wanted to watch something to air his thoughts out, convoluted as they had become.
Next to him Takahashi had become silent, watching the screen in concentration. "So, they really want to keep her in America then."
"Looks like it has all been decided now. Who knows? Maybe it is better for her?", Gen speculated, gaze fixed on the photo of the young woman the news station was broadcasting. She couldn't be that much older than the two of them. Suzuki Jun, Japan's first ajin, held back in America, where the state of her nature had been discovered.
"Better? Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. Everything about it sounds suspicious anyway." Takahashi sighed, falling into an absentminded silence. When he continued talking his voice sounded almost sad: "But funny how lately those ajin seem to show up everywhere, isn't it?" For a moment it appeared as if he wanted to say more but then he remained silent.
Starting to feel hesitant Gen nodded, tightening his grip around Takahashi. "True, yeah." For a moment he considered telling him. But in the end decided against it. It was only a vague suspicion after all, it was not like he knew for sure. Maybe his memory about the matter had become muddied over the years, he still had been a kid after all. (Not that young a kid though. When it had happened his parents had already been separated, his father gone, having taken Takahashi with him, leaving Gen and his mother alone.)
And he had been feverish after all. That kind of was the point about the entire matter. Back then, Gen had come down with a strong case of the flu, his fever raising up high during the night, almost as if out of nowhere. He still remembered how his mother had tried cooling him down, still remembered the fear in her eyes growing more and more unrestrained the further the night had went on, his fever not lessening. The next day, when he had been better again, she had told him his temperature had been up as high as 42°C, and the reason this was actually dangerous. (Why hadn't she taken him to a hospital if it had been that serious then? Some questions were better left unasked.)
But the thing Gen was pretty certain about was this: He had started to feel really, really, bad during the night until... Well, the thing was, he probably had lost consciousness at some point and... Despite of this he was absolutely sure that what happened had been... He had felt really bad and then he had felt better again, quickly so. And since those ajin kept getting discovered, the certainty in him had only grown. In any case, when it had become morning after that feverish night, he had felt much, much better. Recovered, practically. Fever all gone.
Gen blinked, trying to force the memory away. He didn't want to think about those things. Not when right now was one of those rare occasions he had Takahashi for himself. He leaned over, giving him another kiss on the lips, this time a lingering one, a promise of what was supposed to come later. "Did I already tell you that you're the best birthday present I could have asked for?"
A hazed look had descended on Takahashi's face, the smile he was directing at Gen looking almost bashful. "And that though it was such a nice day at the sea? I, uh... I didn't know, no."
"Well, now you do!", Gen insisted, stressing his point by laying his head on Takahashi's shoulder and cuddling closer. "Better than a nice day at the sea, officially."
"But you love the sea."
Gen did indeed. Maybe because he hadn't that many occasions to spend time at it. "Yes, that's the point", he said, absentmindedly starting to tug at the collar of Takahashi's shirt, as if his hands had decided on their own they needed to keep themselves busy somehow. The shirt in question had a distracting pattern in teal, magenta and violet. After having pondered about it all afternoon, Gen decided he liked the look on Takahashi. It seemed to suit him in a way that felt oddly predestined as well.
The news being over, the weather forecast was now airing. It would stay mild and warm during the weekend, but there was indeed the danger of rain starting to fall tomorrow. Well, that wasn't really a problem or anything but the sea was honestly the preferable form of water compared to that.
And even better than the sea or anything else was Takahashi. Being his favourite thing in the world altogether.
As if having sensed Gen's thoughts, Takahashi started brushing his fingers through Gen's hair, first ordering his bangs and then just continuing with the gesture. "Your hair feels as soft as it looks pretty."
Something about the wording made Gen laugh. "Is that an implication or something?"
Now Takahashi started blushing. "I just mean, if you feel like letting it stay like that, I'd be in favour of it."
Well, Gen had planned to let his hair grow out some more anyway, but that was not the point here. At all. "In favour of it? I keep that in mind. Because it's you."
Hearing this a warm gleam showed up behind Takahashi's eyes. Staying silent, he just smiled at Gen, leaning down to pull him into another kiss. Feeling something resembling content settle into his mind Gen kissed back. The sea felt preferable to rain but neither of those had the means to reach them as long as they were here, together. As far as Gen was concerned this was alright; being together like this felt better than being stuck in the outer sphere anyway: Space was limited, company not always an option you could choose and Takahashi was the only person Gen truly wanted to be together with.
Sooner or later the rain would find you anyway, so you might as well give in to your urge to embrace the sea.
The End