Yggdrasil
the tree has many branches

This was supposed to be a separate one!shot but, procrastination... Also, I have so many AUs planned and half written, right about 34... so yeah...

Warnings: grammatical mistakes, language, Hiccup just wants his coffee, and Astrid is a little too gun-happy...

Disclaimer: The How to Train Your Dragon franchise is property of Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks Animation.

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world 05

mafia/coffee shop!au

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Trying as he might, his eyes wouldn't open.

It was way early for normal people to be up, too dark for normal people to be out, and too damn cold for normal people to saunter about.

But Hiccup wasn't normal; he had a metal leg, a sharp tongue, and the strength of a paper cup. Plus, he needed his coffee. He couldn't function properly without his daily dose of caffeine. So, walking around in the early morning on the eerie streets of sleeping Berk while his ass froze by the biting wind was his damning fate; his and every other student's that had workshop in the crack of fucking dawn.

That was Berk University for you.

Yawning he turned left on his usual route down a narrow alley before arriving at his destination. He entered the local Starbucks and shook the drizzle from his fraying leather jacket. Yawning again he went to the register and ordered his usual Java Chip Frap before limping his way to his usual table.

He was still half asleep, half counting the raindrops on the huge window and half wondering why the hell did the only class he was interested started so damn early when a cup appeared in front of him. Still bleary-eyed, Hiccup turned his head to thank the barista, who unlike other assholes had taken the time to bring him his beverage and not yodel before chugging said thing at his head –yes, he was talking about Snotlout– and stared.

Blond hair in a braided bun, big blue eyes, cute button nose, curved lips; shit, she was gorgeous.

Her lips twitched, "Thanks."

Hiccup blinked; did he say that out loud?

"You did." The barista said pushing a stray lock behind her ear, "Are you going to pay?"

Hiccup blinked again, twice, before his sleepy brain caught up with reality. He flushed and fumbled with his wallet, "Sorry! Sorry… I'm still half asleep."

"Oh, I see. Rough night?"

Why was her voice so pretty? Hell, why was she still talking to him? Girls like her didn't talk to guys like him. Hiccup felt his brain melting; what was this rom-com cliché he had stumbled upon?

"Uh… more l-like rough morning. I have class in like thirty minutes."

There was a smile that made his stomach churn, "You study at Berk U?"

He nodded, his brain full on autopilot, "Engineering. You?"

She chuckled, "Not a student. First day here."

"Cool."

There was an awkward silence in which Hiccup cursed himself for not paying more attention to Snotlout's half-assed lectures about pickup lines and hooking up. In his defense, it was an entirely embarrassing process because Snotlout didn't know how to normally talk to girls either, and he'd die first before going to Spitelout for advice. His adopted dad was just as bad.

The beautiful barista stopped his embarrassing staring with her hand, "Astrid."

God, her name didn't do her justice, "Hiccup." There was a pause in which she smirked and he flushed; did he seriously say that, "H-Henry! I mean Henry! Not Hiccup, obviously that would be weird! Like, who names their kid after a bodily function?" He laughed awkwardly and squirmed in his chair. Curse Snotlout and his stupid nicknaming.

She kept her smirk, "I know."

There was another pause, where her eyes twinkled with something akin to mischief and he was mesmerized. She put a stop at him staring again when she tapped at the cup. Slowly he slid his eyes at it; Hiccup, it read with big black and bold letters and he flushed and sent more curses to Snotlout's stupidity. Then he saw what was written below it and he blanked.

A number.

She gave him her number.

At that point, Hiccup told his brain to straighten up, because someone was clearly pranking him. Snotlout and Tuffnut would burst from the two trash bins by the door giggling and laughing at his face at any second and everything in the universe would straighten once more; was what he repeated to his already overworked brain.

"When are you off class?"

What?

"Uh. Noon… maybe."

She giggled –giggled– and said, "Maybe?"

"Yes. I mean, definitely! I mean definitely at noon." His brain was on a roll today, "I'm out at noon."

There was a coy smile and then she was close. She leaned over, her face inches from his and her eyes twinkling, "And you don't have anything planned for tonight?"

Was this even real?

"Not that I know of."

She bit her lips, her teeth dragging along her bottom lip and he couldn't stop staring, "Good. Meet me here and we'll go for lunch. And then…" Her eyes roamed his face before she continued, "We'll find something we could do."

This must be a dream.

Hiccup blinked, "Cool. Sounds like a plan."

His suspicions were proven correct when suddenly everything burst into bright light. There was a loud repetitive noise that was probably his alarm clock, and he found himself staring at the ceiling. Damn, it was a dream. What he wouldn't give for a few more minutes of it. Or for it to be true... Hiccup sighed and went to move, ready to start the day knowing he was late for class when he was promptly shoved back down. Hiccup blinked back up at the ceiling. What the hell, was all he could think before his brain took a second to reboot and pay closer attention.

The annoying repetitive noise wasn't his alarm clock.

He wasn't in his bed or his apartment.

The blonde from his dreamscape was currently sprawled all over him.

Hiccup blinked again; it was an embarrassing second later he realized he was in the middle of a gun down.

"You, stay down!" Astrid hissed at him before whipping out a fucking gun out of nowhere and started shooting back at the assailants. He tried not to panic; it wasn't the first time he'd seen a gun from up close. Hell, Spitelout even had a shotgun in the family farm just outside town and had taken both Snotlout and himself for a few rounds behind the old barn when they were younger. Still, it didn't erase the fact he was currently sprawled on the floor with the cute barista in the middle of a freaking war zone.

Really, Starbucks had upped their game when it came to customer service.

Hiccup tried one more time to crawl away, back to the safety of the bar, when a bullet zipped far too close to his head. He yelped and a hand then slapped his forehead pushing his face on the floor where he could clearly see some of his hair sizzling between the broken glass. Hiccup gaped and tried to move again.

"Would you stay down? It's really hard to shoot when you keep moving around!" He turned and looked at the woman currently straddling him and gaped; she was way too calm for his comfort.

"What is going on? Why do you have a gun? Why are you shooting at people? And who is shooting at us?!" Astrid plainly rolled her eyes and leaned down, avoiding more bullets that zipped past her head and coincidentally close to his body. Hiccup froze when her nose touched his and her hand reached behind her and started patting. She was moving too much and she was too close and Hiccup prayed she wouldn't notice his awkwardly rising problem. Because really, this was hardly the time!

"Well," Astrid started and he froze as he stared up at her when she suddenly sprang up and shot four times, each resulting to grunts and yelps and faint thuds, before coming back down, "We are currently under seize. There are ten assailants right outside shooting at us. Would you rather I rolled over and let them take you?"

What? Him? By the way things were going Hiccup thought Astrid was the one those people wanted.

He didn't get to voice any of his thoughts. She whipped up again shooting two times before coming back down, "I would really appreciate if you stopped squirming, Henry." She said as she wiggled further down his lap, "It's really hard to concentrate while saving your ass."

He blushed and she smirked before shooting two more times, resulting in yelps and silence.

"Who are you? And what do you mean takeme? Why me? I'm nobody!"

Astrid leaned over him and whispered almost gently, "You are not a nobody, Henry. Your father wouldn't have sent me if that were true."

Hiccup gasped, "My father?!"

"You are the only son and heir of Stoick the Vast, the most powerful man ever walked this Earth. You were sent away for your own protection and I was sent to take you in."

Hiccup's eyes widened, the infamous King of the Underworld is my father?! Suddenly, he felt a bit faint. "And who are you?!"

There was a wolfy grin as she finally got up and hauled him on his feet. Vaguely he noticed the mess in his favorite coffee shop.

"My name is Astrid Hofferson. And I'm your bodyguard."