Lost

It was quiet. Eerily quiet. Tapping her fingers impatiently, Bulma tried again to contact planet Vegeta but, again, there was no answer. Which meant that they either had already left or were in a deep state of trouble and therefore could not answer. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she tried to think of something and halt the ominous feeling growing inside of her.

Just hours ago Vegeta had crawled his way out of the gravity room and in fury had come after her. At the sight of her, it seemed he had convinced himself he was ready to kill her. But when she begged him to listen and give her a chance to explain, he unwillingly halted his movements.

Time almost stood still when their eyes met and it pained her to see regret in his eyes.

Obviously, he found that she had truly betrayed him by going against his orders.
She wished he would understand that all she was trying to do was to give him complete victory. That this was not only about him, but his entire race too. If he failed, their agony would continue. Frieza would never stop.

Though she apologized, even bowing her head in the process she also explained that it was too late now and that, now that they were already in space, couldn't back out of the plan.

But no matter what told him, he stayed unfazed by her words.

While his stoic expression remained unreadable, his hands balled into firm fists. Bulma saw how fury then shone in his eyes and wondered if he was now finally going to push through with the threat of ending her life. Though shaking and gritting his teeth, he however did not move.
And so, seconds later she found herself thinking about the idea if he could ever care for her.

Infatuation could lead to compassion, but could that ever be the case with the King of Saiyans? She personally doubted that.

The result of her actions was that the lust they had shared, had now completely vanished. When she had wanted to approach, he threw her a cold uncaring look, warning her to not take a step closer to him. Realizing touching him was out of the question now, Bulma stood frozen on the spot.

He had pulled up his high walls again and absolutely shunned the idea of having her come near him entirely. A saddening feeling overwhelmed her, but she held onto what she had promised his father.

Begging him to believe in her one more time, promising him success. Her mind screamed out to not promise him anything as there was no guarantee of success, but she couldn't help herself. At this point she would say just about anything to make him listen to her. Talk to her.

Promptly turning around, Vegeta announced he would first see if this invention of hers was all as promising as she claimed it was. He didn't spare her another glance when leaving, disappearing for hours and hours in the GR until his body finally collapsed.
She supposed it was his way of dealing with the situation. The immense pressure. The stress of the huge risk they were taking. He had resented her help when she had tried to help him get into the regeneration tank but eventually gave in out of lack of choice.

His behavior however made her feel alone and made her confidence crumble as well. Wondering at times, if she had just gambled an entire race to its death by daring to continue with this insane plan that had so much potential of failure.

Vegeta would never forgive her.

Bulma bit her lip, pressing a few buttons to see the back camera of the ship. In the distance she could still see planet Vegeta in all its glory. They had only just started their journey. They could still turn around and go back…

Her little scheme, of sending a few empty ships simultaneously off to space with theirs, had apparently fooled Frieza because no one was following them.

Which meant everything was going accordingly. Perhaps she should just wait until the Saiyans contacted her. But what if they can't? What if Frieza got to them…?

Vegeta was still in the tank, keen on ignoring her. She had never seen him so furious with her before.
Not wanting to drive herself any madder, she decided to contact her parents. Seeing their kind familiar faces would do her some good. After all, her last call had been rather abrupt and perhaps a bit strange, given her sudden request to postpone the wish of being found by other alien races.

…Bulma?
Her father seemed surprised to see her but immediately a smile followed. Her mother let out a squeal in the background before pushing him aside and asking her how she was doing.
…I'm fine.
…You look down, dear. Her mother noted, giving her worried look. Is everything alright, Bulma?
…For now everything is… fine, she found that a bit hard to say, I just don't know how long that will last.
…Care to explain your request from earlier? Her father curiously asked while her mother continue to note out loud that she looked so upset compared to yesterday.
Bulma didn't know how to look her father in the eye. He would be so upset with her when knowing she was now truly working with the Saiyans.
…You looked so happy last time, her mother continued, what happened? Was he mean to you?
Bulma's eyes widened and her cheeks turned crimson. Feeling absolutely caught by her mother, she cursed inwardly, not liking the idea of sharing this with them just yet.
…H-he? What do you mean?
…The man you like. It's obvious you've grown fond of someone on that planet. Oh, I bet he's a fine young man!
…M-mom!
…Ah, I've seen this before, her father mumbled tiredly. Don't get your heart broken, Bulma. he dryly added.
…I'm not with someone! Bulma yelled back in shock.
…Then why are you upset? Her mother asked again.
..I-I have a lot on my mind! That's all!
…Is it about the wish? Her father then asked.

Bulma nodded, swallowing the fear and embarrassment to get to the point. Straightening her posture and trying to compose herself a little, she started talking on a serious tone, hoping her mother would quit obsessing about her own selective observations.
…Honestly, she can't ever tell the difference between certain inventions but these types of things she notices without a clue!

…I might need to use that wish to help the Saiyans. A deadly silence fell, and their shocked expressions made her squirm.
…The idea is to go to Namek, as I have already told you, Bulma continued with more certainty. Once we arrive there, we'll be wishing the Saiyans to safety, meaning away from Frieza. You see, they are going to lead him into believing that they are the ones heading to a planet where one wish can be granted. Of course, they won't be truly be heading towards Namek but flying the ship as far away as possible from us. So, when we wish them to safety, Frieza will be on the other side of the universe, following an empty ship. Eventually he will figure out what is going on and then he will surely take his revenge.
…Who is we? Her father asked with a frown.
Feeling a more than just a little uneasy, she answered with a low, almost whispering, tone,
…Vegeta.
…The man who took you from us, the king of those barbarians!? Her father yelled outraged.
…Is he the one you are seeing? Oh, he is so handsome! Her mother let out a squeal of pure delight.
…How can you approve of this!? The genius man looked flabbergasted by his wife's reaction.
…When I see my daughter genuinely smile for months, I approve! She sternly answered, giving him a scowl in response. Besides, dear, did you really think your beautiful daughter would be all by herself for the rest of her life? And royalty no less! Really, what more could we ask for?
…Mom!

Well, she's at least herself again…

At this point all Bulma wanted to do was end the dreaded call but she had yet to come to the point and her true reasons for calling them. With a deep sigh, she tried to get back to the real subject.

…I don't know when or how, but Frieza and Vegeta will one day fight one another. Frieza is a monster and needs to be stopped, dad. That is why I think we need to use the Dragon Balls on Earth to help Vegeta.
…Instead of using only the Dragon Balls on Namek, which you want to use to help the Saiyans,

her father mumbled, finally getting the gist of things. By the look on his face she could tell he too found it a very risky plan that could become quite complex in the long term.
…Yes, Bulma softly said, relieved to no longer be receiving shocked expressions and gasps in response. It was amazing how fast her parents could adapt to situations. Or maybe they had just seen it coming way before she did…
…You tell us when, Bulma, and we'll do it. But what about you? When will you be coming back to us?
…I know. Remember, eighteen months, dad! Nothing has changed but that one wish!
…And the Saiyans?
…I believe they will… Bulma fell silent, suddenly realizing she was not quite sure what they indeed would be doing. Or rather, what their king would decide on doing.

'If you manage to succeed, you'll have your freedom, woman.'

Surprised at hearing his voice, Bulma turned around. Her parents both made a sound but refrained from talking to the Saiyan. He crossed his arms and gave them a cold look.

'You can have your daughter back after the defeat of Frieza.'

Bulma didn't know what to say but immediately turned around and told her parents she would call back later. Bidding her a quick goodbye, they suspiciously eyed the Saiyan before the screen went black.
Her finger rested on the buttons while her eyes stayed on the screen, now showing planet Vegeta again.

'How long have you been standing there?' Bulma asked, feeling cheeks redden in embarrassment when thinking how her mother had kept bringing up the subject of him being her lover.

'Long enough.'

Excellent answer, Vegeta.

Instead she said nothing and decided to ignore the idea of him having heard every bit of her conversation. She took deep breath before turning around to face him. His expression stayed stoic when their eyes met. Nothing had changed.

'Now you know my plan. I calculated that, after he figures out, he's following a ghost ship and tries to track us down, it would take Frieza at least another three months to reach Namek. Giving you a total of six months to train and prepare for the final fight.'

'And what about Kakarot?'

'Even if he arrives before we do, he'll still needs to collect the Dragon Balls before being able to make a wish. So, let him collect them, it will save us time,' she said with a wink.
'And I believe you'll be ready to take him out once we arrive on Namek. After all, he doesn't have the gravity room installed on his ship,' she said and smirked triumphantly.

'What made you so certain about this machine?' he then asked, still not giving her any indication of what he was feeling or thinking. He kept his distance and tone icy. She would rather hear him be mad than be so uncaring.

'Just a few sessions made me stronger. Me, a weak Earthling woman! I mean I could walk around on your planet, though still a bit restricted,' she admitted, 'but it worked! So, I calculated that if you, a Saiyan, used it, it would be a thousand times more effective. I have no doubt in my mind this will successful. And if not, we still have the wish of Earth's Dragon Balls to count on.'

The Saiyan king stayed quiet. Closing his eyes for a second in thought before nodding approvingly of her entire plan.

After all, she was right, even just one session had made a huge difference. He could feel how had already grown in power. He opened his eyes and took in the woman before him. Her blue eyes looked sad and her body fragile. Yet it seemed his instinct had been right, she had been the key he had been looking for.

And, surprisingly, it seemed she had manage to influence his father as well because he would elsewise never went along with such an insane plan. Vegeta gritted his teeth at that thought, the old man had grown soft over the years! He couldn't imagine him ever listening to a woman, a weak one at that, in his glory years. Before his battle with Frieza.

'So three months before we arrive on Namek, hm?'

Bulma nodded.

'Contact my father.'

'I can't reach Planet Vegeta,' Bulma reluctantly admitted, feeling a strange ominous sensation run over her body when saying that.

'Contact the main ship,' he then stated.

Startled why she hadn't thought of that herself, Bulma didn't think twice about doing so. Her eyes caught something on the screen, but it disappeared before she could take a good look at it. She could've sworn she saw glimpse of something white. A ship perhaps?

'What is it?'
'It's probably nothing,' Bulma muttered trying to find it again but it seemed to have disappeared, ensuring her it was indeed nothing. Trying to connect to the main ship, the system kept showing an error. Biting her lip and trying a different connection, she let out a sigh when realizing they had blocked her. Wetting her lips, dreading the idea of explaining the King they would not be able to contact them because of safety reasons, just as Bulma wanted to turn around, something happened.

Suddenly the screen caught a white flash. A huge explosion took place, one that could be felt through the entire ship. Bulma's eyes widened. Her eyes stayed glued on the screen. Planet Vegeta had just disappeared out of sight. All there was left was smoke and dust.

Planet Vegeta is destroyed!

Bulma immediately tried every possible way of contacting them again, not daring to look at Vegeta. A horrible feeling overwhelmed her. Guilt slowly suffocating her. Her entire body was trembling.

'Come on, come on!' She yelled at the screen while her fingers moved too slowly to her liking.
Whatever she did or try, nothing changed. The bank screen did not budge.
Not a single indication of any of them being safe. Realizing what this meant, she froze up. Her blue eyes kept staring at the screen, waiting for an answer but nothing came.

Shoulders hanging in defeat, sensing how the atmosphere was thickening, Bulma dared herself to at least look the man in the eye.

His dark eyes stayed on the screen that showed the white mark of where planet Vegeta had once been. His expression cold and stoic, more than ever before.

He let out a hollow snicker, 'King of nothing.'

'I…' The word died in her throat. I can't find the words. I simply don't know what to say to him.
'Nice work, woman,' he mockingly spat.

A painful, gruesome feeling filled her chest. She felt nauseous, defeated. So very foolish.

'Vegeta, I…'

'Well let's hope that those Dragon Balls can undo your mistakes,' he furiously spat at her.

Bulma wanted desperately to stop him saying such awful things but it was only the, heart wrenching, awful truth he was telling her. And no matter how much she hoped, even begged to some unknown higher being, nothing could undo what had just happened right before their eyes.

And there was nothing she could say to him that would help in this dire situation.

...I… I just lost him, didn't I?

Because of her, his home-planet had just got destroyed.

She had done exactly what she feared he would do one day to her, be the envoy of destruction. She had just unwillingly become the villain. Her plans and schemes had always been small but now, on a grand scale, the consequences now were beyond severe. Devastating.

'B-but w-what about you?' she stuttered in fear. Realizing wishing him to become the strongest was no longer an option. They could revive the Saiyans, of that she was sure but… 'We have only two wishes.'

'I'll gladly sacrifice myself for my people,' he simply answered.

No matter how hard she tried to hold it in, she couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Recklessly, and in a desperate attempt, she jumped out of her chair to approach him and make him understand she had never meant for this to happen.
But his dark aura was just slight warning to keep her distance. The look in his eyes told her it was taking him everything to not kill her at this very moment.

Falling on her knees, reaching out her hand cautiously, he ignored the gesture. Only looking at it for a second before turning around and announcing he would continue his training.

'I'm only keeping you around because I need someone to fly this ship.'

Bulma cried, no longer holding back. She had never meant for this to happen!

In her mind, they, the Saiyans, were so strong that no harm could be done to them. It had all seemed so impossible. She had believed they could overcome any obstacle. And combined with her mind and their power, they were practically unstoppable.

Taking in his silhouette that would disappear out of sight once the doors closed, her mind noted that perhaps she hadn't been thinking about the race at all but just one person when having that feeling of being unstoppable.

Feeling completely defeated now, everything from the past days came back to haunt her. Her friends betraying her, feeling Libelle's last breath, the chaos of planet Vegeta. Kakarot's taunting smirk, reminding her it was all far from over. The ominous feeling of Frieza's presence. The promise she had made to the old Saiyan King. Vegeta's lips on hers.

'Don't cry over my people, woman. They would resent you for doing so.'

'That's not why I'm crying.'

Her words came out as a whisper and with a blurred vision saw how his shoulders tensed up before he straightened his back and kept walking. He didn't even spare her another glance. Despite her cries of agony.

Bulma held on to her heart as she cried, feeling as if she was allowing herself for the first time in months to be vulnerable. But it did nothing to him.

Her hands met the ground as well, not able to hold herself up any longer.

Just then Vegeta halted, appearing to be listening to her cries.

Realizing that hearing her cry was perhaps now something he enjoyed, Bulma tried to muster up the strength to stop.

Calming down, she wiped away the wetness on her cheeks.

No matter how she longed for him to just turn around and be angry with her, he ignored her entire existence. And that was far worse. Because out of all the people she had met, he always faithfully acknowledged her.

…Is that why I care so deeply for you now?

She let her mind dwell on it for a moment but then understood she could no longer make sense of her own feelings anymore. Everything was a blur. Everything hurt.
Her brain then kept trying to think of something to proof that the entire Saiyan race had not just died. That he had a reason to forgive her. That all was going well and according to plan…

Suddenly a thought hit her and with an audible gasp she got up and ran back to the computer. There was one more thing she could try.
As a Saiyan-ship this ship, and all its data, would be shared with the main ship. Quickly typing in the rather simple thought, her heart fluttered when it made a connection to transfer files.

I guess this doesn't really proof anything but…

'I think they are alright. I think they got out on time,' She nervously said, her voice sound hoarse from crying.

The atmosphere was thick. Suffocating.

'No-one is following us either. Perhaps this means Frieza took the bait… And everything is going according to plan.'

Perhaps Frieza is trying to hack their system and they don't want to take any unnecessary risks...

Only silence came in respond. Slowly turning her head around, she was greeted again by his still and almost unnerving posture. Vegeta took a deep breath before speaking,

'Then hold on to the that fickle hope of yours, woman. And pray that was you are saying is true because else, everything is lost.'

Her shoulders hung in defeat again. His planet had just gotten destroyed. Even if they are safe, they don't have anywhere to go…
Bulma wrapped her arms around herself but nothing took away the cold feeling washing over her body. He was once again right; she had no certainty. Only fickle hope as he had called it.

Grieving the loss, she pulled up her legs and rested her head on her knees. Before she could stop herself, she was sobbing again. The misery was so endless and beginning to make her feel completely hopeless.

Underneath her eyelashes she looked at Saiyan King again. His eyes met hers and stayed unaffected by her display of sorrow and grief.

'Stay away from me, woman.'

He then turned around and left.

Closing her eyes, Bulma let go. Crying uncontrollably while feeling every bit of hurt she had been suppressing for the last months come back to her in tenfold. The anguish was gruesome, and she felt completely torn about who she was and what she had just done.

Wishing suddenly there was a regenerating tank that was able to heal all the mental pain she was feeling. Everything that had happened over the past months had all become a blur in her memories now.
She then wished for many things; to see planet Vegeta again, to be home again, to see her parents again. But most of all, she wished to be warm. She longed for warmth. His warmth.

There was no one to blame but herself for the loss.

An unbelievable coldness was all she could feel.

Vegeta… You've probably never felt that you could trust anyone…

Now she too was one of those people he could never trust again.

A part of her wondered if she would ever be able to feel anything other than uncertainty, hurt and fear.

Poor Bulma… and poor you for having to wait so long for an update. See, I unwillingly took break… Sorry! But there was just so much going on and I simply didn't have the time to post a new chapter. Anyways, I hope you liked this one and don't forget to leave a comment/review to tell me your thoughts!

Happy 2020! Wishing you a lot of love and happiness!