Chapter Twelve

The Crowning of Kings

One can survive anything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation

~Oscar Wilde

"We meet again, Mr. Potter. Mr. Back. This is becoming quite the routine. One we definitely need to stop recreating." Professor McGonagall spoke, disappointment seeping through her every word. It was now late October. James and Sirius had only been at Hogwarts for two months. Yet, in that time, the pair of them had accumulated a combined total of a dozen detentions. Most of them were for pranks on Severus Snape, though the pair had begun to branch out in their malicious spell casting. They'd also been punished for goofing off in class and in the library.

On that particular occasion, James had gotten bored of studying in the library. No matter how much he tried, goblin rebellions were just not interesting enough to captivate him for long enough to compose a foot of parchment on them. So, to help reinvigorate him and keep himself going for the next few hours, he'd decided to make the nearby pile of books begin to fly throughout the library. They'd just begun learning about the levitation charm and James wanted to see how far he could push his skill. Sirius quickly joined in and before long they were having textbook races throughout the stacks in the library. Needless to say, Mister Herbert, the librarian, was none too pleased with them and had instantly contacted Professor McGonagall to come and deal with the pair of them.

"Sorry, Professor McGonagall," James spoke, his tone sorrowful and apologetic. He did feel bad about inconveniencing her. As head of Gryffindor house, she was responsible for their punishment and was forced to enact it every time the pair was in trouble.

"That remains to be seen," she responded, clearly not believing James' apology. "Perhaps tonight's detention will act as a hindrance the next time you two choose to perform unsanctioned magic. Follow me." James hung his head low, ashamed by the admonishment from the professor. He and Sirius slowly followed her out of the Transfiguration office and classroom. The trio wound through hallways before finally coming to stop in front of a small wooden door.

"This, gentlemen, is the storage room for all brooms in the school. It contains all school-owned brooms, as well as several belonging to students. Your task tonight is to clean all of them, as well as mend any school brooms that you find in disrepair. To make this more memorable, you will complete it all by hand. Without magic.

"Your wand, Mr. Potter. And yours, Mr. Black." Professor McGonagall held out her hand, and the boys reluctantly obliged. She then turned and left the broom closet, informing the boys they could retrieve their wands once they'd completed their task.

James turned to look at what exactly they'd need to do. McGonagall had, thankfully, not expected the boys to do the task actually by hand and had provided them with a fairly rudimentary broom repair kit, a bucket with soapy water, and sponges and scrub brushes for them to do their cleaning. That being said, there had to be at least 150 brooms in the closet. It was not going to be an easy task, whether done entirely by hand or not.

"This is going to take all night!" Sirius exclaimed, a look of sorrow crossing his regal features as he looked into the rather large broom cupboard.

"Well, at least we'll get to stay out passed curfew and not get in trouble for it," James responded, trying to sound as cheerful as possible in spite of their situation. He then pushed up the sleeves of his robe and dug into the nearest bucket, ready to start what was most definitely their worst detention yet.

"Halloween is a week away," Sirius suddenly spoke one day as the foursome lounged in the Gryffindor common room. It was a week since James and Sirius had spent four hours in the school broom closet, and they'd been maintaining a relatively low profile. James had felt bad about what they'd been doing to Professor McGonagall and had turned down a lot of Sirius' propositions. Plus, he was still facing broom-cleaning flashbacks and really didn't want to see what Professor McGonagall would come up with next to top their last detention. James had told Sirius that they should stop for the time being, at least until they could look at a broom and not feel absolute revulsion at it.

"I've heard Hogwarts throws quite the celebration. They decorate the Great Hall and have this amazing feast," Remus spoke, responding to the comment without looking up from the paper he was writing. He was the only one of the four who was engaged in productive schoolwork.

"Yes, that. But also, I've read that on Halloween, muggles will often perform acts of mischief and trickery. I thought, since it's been a while since we did anything, we could graduate to a big event on Halloween. Perpetuate the muggle tradition?" Sirius looked right at James as he spoke, obviously looking for his approval. James and Sirius were a team; they pranked together. If James turned him down, then Sirius' plan would fizzle out.

James was quiet for several seconds, focused on his attempts to transfigure a couch cushion into a teddy bear. It was a spell he'd discovered in the back of his textbook and was difficult because of the size of the object. James was determined to master it before Christmas break.

He was also mulling over Sirius' words. He had seen the muggle children of the nearby village wandering around on the night of Halloween before. They'd all been dressed up. Some as strange beasts like a green figure with bolts in his neck. Some as more recognizable, if slightly distorted beasts, like vampires and werewolves. Some as strange figures with capes and masks. And even some as witches, though James had never seen a green skinned, wart covered witch. Then, as the evening got later, older boys and girls would emerge from their homes and commit acts of vandalism and the like. The old church in town had been covered in toilet paper on more than one occasion after Halloween.

As James reminisced about some of his observations of the mischief that the teenagers of Godric's Hallow got up to a smile crossed his face.

"What did you have in mind?" James finally asked. The itch that compelled him to perform acts of mischief was getting harder and harder to resist. Plus, the possibility of performing something large, of having his name known throughout the school, was extremely enticing.

"Well, first, we need to find out where the kitchens are located."

In the week leading up to Halloween, James, Sirius, Peter, and even Remus began scouring the castle. In fact, it had been Remus who had divided it into quadrants and assigned each person one to look for anything that could possibly point to the kitchens. Then each night, the boys would meet up and debrief. The skinny boy had insisted it would be more productive for them to search on their own. Plus, it would attract less suspicion than if they went as a group because, on their own, it would be easier to pass of their reconnaissance as simply being lost in the large and unfamiliar castle. James had instantly seen the brilliance in this plan and praised Remus accordingly. The other boy had momentarily flushed red, but then got right back to explain the quadrants to the others.

While James searched for the kitchens, he was also looking to see if he could run into Professor Strinkley acting suspiciously again. He hadn't come across the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor acting strangely since that first day in early October, nearly a month prior. And he was having similar results with his kitchen search

The first two nights of searching for the kitchens all four had nothing to report. They'd searched a significant portion of the castle and came up empty. James was starting to feel a little frustrated and disheartened. Hogwarts castle was expansive. It easily housed the several hundred students that passed through each year, as well as the staff and countless elves that maintained the castle. On top of that, James suspected that there were several hidden passageways and entryways, and that there may even be some magically concealed rooms. It could take a lifetime to search out every inch and nook and cranny.

Then finally, on the third day and with only four to go until the Halloween feast, things seemed to turn around for them. When they met up that night, each of the four of them had large wide smiles on their faces and a sense of triumph emanating from them.

"I think I've been quite productive today," James began the meeting. He was lounging in one of the armchairs of the common room. "I managed to follow a house elf who was carrying some dirty dishes through several hallways. Unfortunately, I lost him when I was stopped by a Ravenclaw prefect asking what I was doing heading up to Ravenclaw tower. What about everyone else?" James just shrugged off his failure and turned to look at his friends expectantly. Surely, their exuberance could only mean good things.

"So, the kitchens may be near Ravenclaw?" Sirius asked from his similar position on an armchair opposite James'.

"They could be, or the elf was just cleaning up Ravenclaw tower. We'll just need to keep looking." Despite the lack of real progress that James had made, he remained optimistic. There had yet to be a problem that he couldn't resolve; he had not thus far in his life come to an insurmountable obstacle. If they just kept up their work, they would eventually find what they were looking for.

Sirius nodded at James words before sharing his piece of news, "I found two secret passageways in the west towers of the castle. One of them leads to the library and the other could easily shave off two minutes between Transfiguration and Charms. This castle has so many secrets! I know it's not helpful on the hunt for the kitchen front, but I still think it's useful information." As Sirius spoke, Remus wrote on a piece of parchment.

"Definitely helpful. Anything that can help us shave off transition time and give us more time for pranking is information we can use!" James returned.

"I found something like that," Peter piped in. Before Sirius had spoken, Peter had looked anxious, excited but also concerned. After Sirius had spoken, Peter lost all traces of concern. Now, he just looked excited. "On the third floor, behind one of the statues, is a passageway that leads outside the castle. I still don't have anything on the kitchen-"

"I do!" Remus suddenly exclaimed, cutting Peter off. It was the most animated James had seen him. He was nearly jumping out of his skin waiting for his change to speak.

"Go on," James prodded after Remus was quiet for several seconds. After his outburst, Remus had returned to the piece of parchment and jotted down a few notes. When James spoke, Remus sheepishly looked back up.

"Sorry. Right. Well, I started by coming up with a list of possible locations that the kitchen could be. It, logically, should be near the Great Hall, and most likely under it since that is where the food appears from. So, that house elf you saw was probably just cleaning up Ravenclaw tower." Remus looked at James self-consciously, obviously not completely comfortable with having to let the messy haired boy down. James, for his part, was outwardly unaffected. His pride was a little hurt that Remus seemed to believe that he was wrong, but he pushed that aside. If Remus had actually found the kitchens, then James could handle his bruised pride.

"Today, " Remus continued after it was clear James wasn't upset, "While I was searching around the dungeons, I saw a few house elves scurrying around and followed them, hoping they would lead me where I wanted to go. I was in luck and they headed back to the kitchen, even showing me how to get through the hidden doorway! I wrote it all down here, along with what Sirius and Peter discussed.

"I thought it might come in handy later to know where these things were located." Remus added, nervously rubbing the back of his head. He seemed very uncertain about the whole thing. James burst out into a wide smile.

"Brilliant!" James exclaimed, reaching out for the paper to examine it further. "This will definitely come in handy later. Now, about how to get into the kitchen."

The Hogwarts Halloween feast was absolutely spectacular. For the magical community, the muggle holiday of Halloween was a big deal. After the International Statute of Secrecy, the celebrations of All Hallows Eve allowed the magical community the opportunity to come out of hiding for the day. Now, with the changing theme of celebrations, the holiday didn't afford the same freedoms, but the magical community still put a lot into the celebrations.

The Great Hall was decorated with traditional fall decorations like leaves and various squashes. There were jack o' lanterns throughout the room, each one carved with a unique face. On each of the tables was one of the largest feasts James had ever seen. It was almost as large as the going away extravaganza his mother had cooked before he left for Hogwarts. It smelled delicious, looked amazing, and James couldn't wait to dig in.

"Good evening," Dumbledore spoke from the middle of the staff table, "Today, we celebrate the ancient holiday of Halloween, a significant holiday for the magical community. Enjoy the good food and company tonight. Forget about your schoolwork and other worries for the evening and just enjoy! Bon appetite!"

With his short speech over, Dumbledore sat down and motioned for all those gathered to start feasting. James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus readily obliged, as did the rest of the student body. The Great Hall quickly filled with the sounds of forks and knives contacting plates and the light hum of conversation.

"This roast is almost as good as my Mums! She'd always cook roast on the days we were celebrating something. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays that weren't Christmas. On the morning before I caught the train here, she made me this big going away breakfast feast and she even cooked a roast for that!" James eagerly discussed life at home in between bites of roast, potatoes, and various steamed vegetables.

"My mum would rather talk to a muggle than cook for us. Any and all food that is made and prepared in our house is done by the house elf. The food here is so much better than what I'd get back there." Sirius shuddered at the memory of his elf-prepared food from back home.

"But this food is prepared by elves?" Peter asked, lowering his voice to a whisper. He was obviously unsure if that piece of information was something he should know, and if knowing it could get him in trouble.

"Yes, but this food is made by happy elves who enjoy their work and know what they're doing. Not the freakishly loyal, obsessed creatures my mother keeps." Sirius punctuated his speech by popping a piece of potato into his mouth.

"My mum's a really good cook too. Except not with anything this fancy. I do love her cooking, but it's really nice to try some of these finer dishes. Most of what we eat at home is simple soups made with vegetables from the garden or the basic meat and potatoes sort of fair." Remus spoke. James was a little surprised at the openness of Remus' comments.

Over the past two months, the skinny boy had begun to spend more and more time with the other Gryffindor first years, and he'd eagerly contributed to the planning and execution of that evenings' prank. But he still kept his home life, his private life, fairly secret from the others. James was constantly going on about life with his parents, and Sirius would join in with his complaints. Peter would occasionally comment about his family, but Remus never said a word. To have him opening up now was a good sign for James.

"Sometimes the simplest food can taste the best," Sirius commented, "Kreacher, our house elf, attempts these really fancy, really convoluted recipes to try and impress my mother and he always fails. What I wouldn't give for a simple vegetable soup instead of a rancid duck d'orange!" Sirius popped another potato into his mouth. As he did so, the serving platters of food disappeared and were replaced by platters filled with desserts. A glint quickly developed in Sirius' eye.

Once again, people quickly began digging into their desserts. There was a large selection but the most prevalent, and the most popular, were the pumpkin pasties. Nearly everyone in the Great Hall dug into them eagerly.

Suddenly, a concerned yelp went up from someone in the Hufflepuff table. Students turned to see what was going on. One of the upperclassmen had gone a truly awful puce colour. His companion, the one who had shrieked, had quickly run around to the back of the now purple boy and began trying to dislodge whatever it was that was turning his friend purple. It was obvious that the one boy thought his friend was choking.

However, the purple Hufflepuff was not chocking and, when he tried to explain this to his worried friend, his words came out in gibberish.

"Flag flum flor flo!" the purple boy tried to explain. His friend, caught off guard, stopped his actions and simply stared. Then, someone from Ravenclaw also shouted out.

"Percy! You're turning purple!"

Like a slow ripple, cries began to fill the room as more and more people turned purple. Then, much like the Hufflepuff, when they tried to speak, all that would come out was intelligible speech.

"We've been pranked!" a high-pitched voice echoed above the gibberish. Instantly, everyone began to panic, unsure of what had caused the colour change and loss of speech. Some of the people, those who had not been afflicted, began to chuckle then all out laugh at the predicament of their comrades.

As the gibberish began to be overtaken by peals of laughter, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter smirked at the chaos they'd induced. This was their biggest prank yet, the most complicated with the biggest payoff. Seeing it all come to fruition was highly satisfying.

However, their moment of triumph and victory was short lived. The professors quickly began taking control and searching out the perpetrators. Professor McGonagall in particular was homing in on the four male Gryffindor first years. Others followed her lead. James and Sirius were quickly establishing a reputation for pranking. Now that this one had occurred, the boys were their prime suspects.

When the professors showed up at the Gryffindor table, however, they found James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all purple-coloured and speaking gibberish. Not perpetrators, but simply more victims. It was an ingenious way to cover their guilt. None of the professors, except Professor McGonagall, now believed that the four were responsible.

They'd gotten away with it, their first major prank. They were, in that moment, practically invincible. Now, all that remained for their crowning as prankster kings to be complete was for a rumour of their involvement to being to circulate throughout the student body. Once the students' knew who was responsible, and the staff unable to concretely prove it, they would be royalty.