Steve rubbed his eyes blearily and groaned softly, sitting up in bed. Another nightmare had kept him up during the night, this one about the war. He'd woken up in bed, sweating and shivering, swearing he had heard the distant rumble of explosions. It had taken him forever to get back to sleep and when he did he had a dream about his home. It wasn't a bad dream but it left him feeling sad and lonely when he woke up. Steve yawned and stretched, pulling on his clothes. Betty had kindly washed them on Saturday, even though Steve had insisted he could do them. Betty had shooed him away and that was that.
It felt strange to have a stranger taking care of him. Well, anyone taking care of him in fact. Steve had been on his own for a while and the closeness of a relative had been absent in his life. Friends came close but Betty was like a mother and grandmother rolled into one. Nathan was the same, except like a father and grandfather. Charlie was…well, Charlie was something else. She seemed to understand Steve's pain from the war and was able to bring light into his sometimes dark thoughts. She was kind and happy. Well, except for that one time during Scrabble. Steve was still trying to figure out what had happened. He had a hunch but didn't want to assume anything. Steve kept telling himself that if Charlie wanted to tell him, she would.
There was something else about Charlie. It was almost like she knew who Steve was but wasn't saying anything. This seemed so odd to Steve. Most people he'd run into after the alien incident had recognized him right away and pleaded for an autograph or picture. But not Charlie. If she knows your Captain America, his skepticism said. There was that other time at the diner when a young woman had looked between a newspaper and Steve several times, to the point it was noticeable. Steve had sighed and prepared himself for the questions and the reveal. Then, Charlie had stepped into the young woman's sight and delivered the food, chatting away. The young woman had pointed at the newspaper and then gestured to Steve, her eyes gleaming. Charlie looked at the page and then shook her head. She began talking and the young woman's face fell. She looked a few more times then shrugged and dug into her food. Charlie walked away but not before looking at Steve. She smiled and went about her day. Steve checked the paper later and sure enough, there was an article about him with his picture. Did Charlie know? Was she protecting him? Or did she not see the resemblance?
Steve hadn't found a good time to ask Charlie about it but that was just an excuse. It was such a relief to be treated like a normal human being and not some hero. Steve didn't want that to stop when Charlie realized or admitted she knew about him. He wanted to be normal for just a few more days. Steve quietly closed his door and made his way towards the kitchen.
"Good morning!" Charlie sang. She was standing in front of the stove, making some eggs and bacon for breakfast.
"Good morning," Steve replied, "Smells good." Charlie smiled.
"So Nattie, Nana, and I usually go to church in the morning if you'd like to join us. If you'd like to stay here that's fine too." Steve blinked in surprise. When was the last time he'd gone to church? He'd been kind of busy during the war but he'd always sent up a prayer, usually several.
"I'd like to come," Steve said, "I haven't been for a while so might as well start now."
"Alright, then we leave the house at 8:30 to get to the 9:00 service," Charlie smiled. The two lapsed into a comfortable silence as Steve gazed out the window and Charlie attended breakfast. It was rare to find someone where you could share comfortable silence. There wasn't a need to talk or do anything, just be there. It was nice and relaxing compared to the bustle of the day. These were moments that Steve savored. An enticing aroma wafted from the oven and Steve breathed deeply.
"What did you bake today?" Steve asked. It smelled like bread and cinnamon.
"Cinnamon rolls. I like to bake for church and share them after the service," Charlie moved to check on them.
"Do you need someone to taste test them?" Steve's mouth watered as the oven opened and the smell grew stronger. Charlie chuckled and brought out a batch of small cinnamon rolls.
"I suppose we can taste test them," Charlie grinned, "You know to make sure they taste good."
"Oh I'm not worried about them tasting good. Your food always tastes good. I want to make sure they taste excellent. You don't want people eating good food but excellent food."
"You are absolutely correct. We must try them." Charlie insisted, plopping a cinnamon roll in front of Steve. Her eyes shone as she smiled.
"Thank you kindly ma'am. I'll get the forks and coffee." Steve stood up and started making some coffee. Charlie had shown him how to use the coffee machine earlier in the week during their morning talks. For the past week, Steve always got up early and went into the kitchen to find Charlie already up. They would talk until Nathan and Betty got up and then they would go to the diner. Steve would stay back and work on the gardens. He'd finished yesterday with all of the gardens and was proud of his work. Betty had been ecstatic with the result and had teased Nathan about letting another man do his work. Nathan shrugged and smiled, happy not to have done the work.
"Steve, where did you come from?" Charlie asked suddenly. Steve froze for a minute and turned towards Charlie. She blushed and busied herself with the eggs and bacon.
"I just-well I realized that we didn't really ask you where you came from and I was just thinking about it and it just popped right out," Charlie said in a rush, embarrassed. Steve smiled at her babbling. It was kind of cute. What? Steve shook his head at the strange thought and focused on her question. How to answer without giving anything away?
"Well I used to live in New York but recently, I decided to take a cross country trip. I have some connections in Washington D.C. so I'll be heading there next," Steve explained, as vaguely as possible. Charlie nodded and dished out the food. Steve poured the coffee and got two forks from the drawer.
"What about you? Have you always lived in Wyoming?" Steve asked, taking a bite of the eggs. They were, as always, heavenly.
"Yep. I've always lived in Wyoming," Charlie replied. Steve noticed that it was just as vague as he'd been. There was that wall again. Does she not like to talk about herself? Steve wondered. His paranoia was growing stronger, thinking that Charlie was somehow dangerous. Steve brushed that feeling aside, blaming it on the soldier he'd become. I may have been asleep for seventy years but it feels like yesterday I was fighting in the war. That thought process isn't going away anytime soon, Steve thought. Still, he was curious by Charlie's reactions. Something made her shut down and Steve wanted to know what it was. You're being nosy, Steve thought. Probably but he didn't like that Charlie, always smiling and happy, had something that made her sad.
Charlie sat down across from him and began eating. Steve fought for a moment with himself, trying to decide whether to push Charlie or move on from the conversation. I've moved on twice now, why not push a little bit? You're being nosy, Steve reminded himself. He struggled a little more, eating more of his breakfast and then made his decision.
"Have you always lived with Betty and Nathan?" Steve asked. Charlie's fork froze halfway to her mouth and she glanced at Steve. There was a guarded expression on her face and Steve felt the wall more clearly than before. Charlie shrugged and finished her bite.
"Pretty much," was Charlie's short answer. Nice, Steve thought sarcastically, too far. Steve went back to his eggs sorting through the new reactions. Charlie obviously didn't like talking about her life or past. Steve wouldn't say she was defensive but she shut down, giving short, vague answers. Wait for her to tell you. It's her life. Plus you haven't told her your life. Steve took a sip of coffee and decided to test the cinnamon rolls.
"Good Lord!"
"What?" Charlie jumped at the sound of Steve's exclamation. Steve stared at her with wide eyes.
"These are by far the best cinnamon rolls I have ever tasted," Steve said. Charlie blinked and then laughed.
"Are they good or excellent?"
"Neither. They're…they're…" Charlie waited expectantly for Steve's answer but he couldn't find the right word.
"They're indescribable!" Charlie laughed again and Steve noticed the wall receding.
"I'll take that as they're excellent," Charlie smiled. Steve nodded and went back to the cinnamon roll. It was fluffy and gooey, sweet and savory. Its smell didn't do it justice.
"Are those cinnamon rolls I smell?" Betty asked, walking into the kitchen. Nathan followed soon after, his nose in the air, smiling at the smell.
"Lotte, I love it when you bake for church," Nathan smiled. Charlie's smile brightened and the wall was gone. Let's not push anymore, Steve thought. The rest of the morning passed in a blur. Everyone rushed to get ready. Betty frantically cleaned, Charlie scrambled to find a container for her cinnamon rolls, and Nathan mismatched his socks. Eventually they all got into the car and drove a few miles to a local church. Steve walked next to Charlie as they entered the small white church. There was a cross behind the pulpit and several rows of pews. A small piano sat in a corner with a woman softly playing a hymn.
"Charlotte, thank you so much for bringing some goodies!" an older woman clasped Charlie's hands.
"You're welcome Mrs. Tate. This is Steve. He's been staying with us since his motorcycle broke down," Charlie introduced Steve.
"Ma'am," Steve answered, shaking Mrs. Tate's hand.
"Welcome to our church," Mrs. Tate smiled warmly. Steve followed Charlie as she set her cinnamon rolls down on a table, greeting people as she went. She introduced Steve to each person and they all smiled, welcoming him to the church. Steve felt a little overwhelmed, but not in a bad way. He'd forgotten how welcoming and accepting a church could be. Everyone seemed happy to see a newcomer and completely open to a stranger in their community. It was nice. Charlie, Betty, Nathan, and Steve sat in one of the middle pews. The service started a few minutes later and Steve followed Charlie's example. They stood for three worship songs and Steve sang along the best he could. They were more up beat and fun, nothing like the hymns he used to sing. One of the lyrics touched Steve.
Take me.
This is all I can bring.
Suddenly, Steve began to think of all the small worries he had in the back of his mind. He was 94 years old. Aliens were real and had attacked earth. There was some mythological beings roaming the universe. He didn't know if Peggy was alive or dead. How do you adjust to a world that you've been asleep to for 70 years? He was alone. Steve suddenly felt very heavy and burdened.
Take me.
This is all I can bring.
Lord, Steve prayed, I may have super strength but I don't have the strength to carry these burdens. I am fearful of this new age and am woefully unprepared to survive in this new era. I cannot protect this country without you, Lord. I cannot do anything without You. I need you Lord but I can't bring much. Take me, Lord, and use me for your purposes. Steve felt a calm come over him and he breathed deeply. The problems weren't gone and the fear was there but Steve was choosing to give it all to God. To trust the Lord's plan above all else. There has to be a reason he made me survive that ice, Steve thought. Steve glanced over at Charlie. She had her eyes closed with her head bowed. Some of her hair had fallen out of her ponytail and tickled her face. Steve had the urge to brush it away, but refrained himself. Charlie opened her eyes and breathed deeply. She glanced at Steve and they locked eyes. Steve smiled softly and Charlie smiled back. They turned back to the worship songs and sang together.
The rest of the service was nice. The pastor talked about how God accepts everyone, no matter what they've done or where they are. He loves us no matter what happens or what we do. This type of love is hard to imagine or even to fathom but it is all we need. All God wants is for us to come to Him in times of trouble and in times of Joy. He delights in us as we should delight in Him. Steve found the service to be new and invigorating. It wasn't what he was used to but he liked this change. Maybe it's time to allow change, Steve thought. Steve shadowed Charlie the rest of the day. They socialized after church and then went out to eat with most of the church. The entire day was spent with a small group of church and they didn't get back to the house until nine o'clock.
Steve sat in the kitchen, holding a mug of tea in his hands, thinking about the day. Betty and Nathan had gone to bed and Charlie was changing into more comfortable clothes. Her mug of steaming tea sat across from him with honey placed next to it. She had been friendly and happy with everyone today but Steve had a feeling something had changed. When she wasn't talking to someone she stared off into the distance with a contemplative look on her face. Steve felt that expression made her look much older than she was.
"Hey," Charlie said from the door.
"Hey," Steve smiled. Charlie sighed and sat down across from Steve. She grabbed her tea and stirred in two spoonfuls of honey.
"Did you enjoy church?" Charlie asked. Steve sipped his tea and nodded.
"It was different than I expected but in a good way. It was refreshing."
"Good I'm glad you enjoyed it. I expect it was little like stepping out of your own time and into a new time." Steve sipped his tea. There's the clue he was looking for.
"How long have you known?" Steve asked, looking up.
"Since you first came to the diner," Charlie replied, smiling softly.
"Why keep it hidden? And all the times you covered for me, why?"
"If I had just woken up from a seventy year sleep, I'd want a hint of normality. I figured I could give you a little bit of peace while you're here." Steve stared at Charlie to gauge if she was telling the truth. Charlie met his gaze, completely open. Steve was blown away.
"Thank you," Steve breathed, "No one-I mean most people react differently. They gawk and stare then ask for autographs. But you-you just act like nothing's different. Wow I sound conceded-that's not what I meant-I mean-"
"Steve," Charlie reached across the table and grabbed one of Steve's hands.
"You're not conceded. I understand you being surprised. I guess I've just lived with two soldiers who just want to be normal when they come home. I applied that to you because technically you are still a soldier, no matter how long you've been asleep," Charlie reassured Steve. Steve let out a breathy laugh.
"Thank you."
"Your welcome." They sat in a comfortable silence, sipping their tea. Steve found it nice to finally have his secret out in the open. He didn't need to hide or correct his answers. It was oddly liberating. She knows a lot of information, his paranoia warned. His paranoia was getting weaker. Maybe it was just around Charlie but there weren't a lot of reasons to be paranoid when he was around her. Sure she put up a wall but hadn't he too?
"So how old are you?" Charlie smirked. Steve laughed and shook his head.
"94," Steve replied.
"Wow, does it feel weird?"
"It feels really weird. It's like I woke up in a dream."
"Good dream or bad dream?"
"Good and bad I think. Good because we won the war but bad because everything is so foreign. Even New York has changed," Steve said. Charlie sighed.
"I want to go to New York."
"Why don't you?"
"Nana and Nattie need me here." Charlie shrugged her shoulders, warming her hands on her mug. Steve wanted to ask about her family but didn't want the wall to come back up again. He liked talking to Charlie. It felt nice to talk to someone when they knew you were a super soldier and didn't freak out about it.
"Nana and Nattie aren't my grandparents," Charlie said. Steve blinked, looking at Charlie. She had a sad, nervous expression.
"That's what you were thinking right?" Steve nodded and Charlie looked down at her mug.
"I ran away from home when I was ten. I ended up shivering on Betty's doorstep. I had knocked on their door, expecting to be turned away. But no, Betty and Nathan ushered me inside. Dried me off and gave me something warm to eat. They let me stay the night and thankfully didn't call the cops. In the morning, I broke down and pleaded with them to not tell anyone I was there, especially the cops. They listened to my story and God must've placed it on there hearts to take me in. I've been with them ever since," Charlie explained. Steve was caught off guard by Charlie's story but listened all the same. There were some holes, like why did she run away? But Steve was grateful that she had confided in him.
"That must've been hard," Steve said. Charlie nodded, taking a sip of her tea.
"It was at first but Nana and Nattie were amazing. I never knew I could be loved so much," Charlie smiled nostalgically.
"Why tell me?" Steve blurted. Charlie looked at him, her head tilted to the side.
"Well since most people know your story, I figured I'd tell you a little bit of mine." Steve was floored that she was confiding in him. Still think she's a threat? his mind challenged. His paranoia was quiet.
"Well, your full of surprises tonight aren't you?" Steve laughed. Charlie smiled.
"Thank you for telling me," Steve said, "And for not revealing my secret to others. Do Betty and Nathan know?"
"Yes but they don't really mind, as you've seen. They see you as someone in need of a little family love which they are happy to give," Charlie sipped her tea. Steve's tea was nearly gone.
"It's been nice. Actually it's been really nice. I'll have to say thank you tomorrow."
"You don't need to but they'd like that."
"Well, I'm about to fall asleep. Man, your church group just socializes all day," Steve shook his head. Charlie laughed softly.
"Yeah but I love them. I'm heading off to bed too," Charlie stood up and grabbed Steve's mug before he could say anything. She plopped them in the sink and turned around with a big yawn.
"Thank you Charlie," Steve smiled, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight Steve," Charlie smiled. And for the first time in a long time, Steve slept peacefully, without a nightmare in sight.
I'm sorry for not updating sooner! I've been waiting to write this chapter but at the same time it was really hard lol Just a warning, I will be updating less and less frequently because school is starting in a week and I'm an RA which will take most of my time. I will try to update soon but they may not be long chapters and they will not be regular updates. I'm sorry! But please stick with me and let me know what you think! Thank you so much for everyone that has reviewed, favorited, followed! Thank you thank you thank you! You guys are the best! :D I hope you enjoy this chapter! :) Oh and the worship song I referenced is God's Great Dance Floor by Chris Tomlin :)