I'm sorry it's been so long! I had a crazy week! But anyways, here it is! I was hoping to make it longer but then my brain decided to stop giving me ideas for where there conversation could go :/ oh well, at least I'm updating! A little at a time is better than nothing, right? lol Thank you so so so much for all the reviews and favorites and follows! Every time I see them, they make my day! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this next chapter :) If you have any ideas of what you want them to talk about, let me know!
Steve stared at the phone, a frown on his face. It was six in the morning and Steve had been awake for at least two hours. He'd gone for a run, gotten breakfast, came back, and showered. Now, he sat at his kitchen table, staring at his phone, worrying over what he should do next. Do I call her? I did say I'd call her but she didn't answer back. Is it too forward of me? Would I wake her up? Do I call her? Why don't you text her and ask if she's awake, his mind said. Steve smacked himself on the forehead. That would've been a lot easier than worrying over this for the past ten minutes. Steve picked up the phone and texted:
Are you awake?
Steve sat back and waited for the reply. Why am I texting her? Why do I want to call her? Because I want to talk to someone, he thought. Talk about something other than missions and duty. He needed to talk about Peggy. Steve didn't know if Charlie would understand but he just had the feeling he needed to talk out loud to someone. The thought of Peggy made Steve feel heavy and sad. He had been too late for their date, he had been too late. Watching her forget him was more painful than he could've imagined. His phone buzzed loudly, making him jump. He opened the screen and read what Charlie had texted back:
Yep. Just baking so you should facetime me. Do you remember how?
Of course Steve remembered how. How could he forget the square fish with the really big eye? Steve smiled at the memory and followed the instructions Charlie had told him. Once he pressed the icon, a loud ringing came from the phone almost making Steve drop the phone. His face was reflected back at him and he frowned. The face frowned too. It's like calling with a video, Charlie's voice echoed. Steve held the phone in front of his face and waited for the ringing to stop. There was one more ring and then his picture got smaller and Charlie's face filled the screen.
"Steve! Good morning!" Charlie sang through the phone. Steve couldn't help but smile. Charlie had flour smudged on her face and clothes, her hair falling out of its ponytail. She was smiling and her eyes were bright.
"Good morning," Steve replied. Charlie beamed and tried to blow some hair out of her face. She ended up brushing it away with her hand but her hand left a smudge of flour on her forehead.
"So, what's it been like to be back?" Charlie asked. She moved out of his line of sight and Steve heard a hiss on the pan.
"Are you making pancakes?" Steve asked, not wanting to answer the question. Charlie nodded.
"Mhm! Nattie made a special request and I haven't made them for awhile so I thought why not?"
"I can practically smell them from here." Steve smiled. Just thinking of Charlie's cooking made his mouth water.
"And you're avoiding the question," Charlie gave him a look, "Is it really that bad going back to work?" Steve's eyes widened and then he sighed. He needed to stop being surprised that Charlie could see through him. But why could she? he thought idly.
"Work was fine. Just another mission and it was nice to be active again. I felt like I was doing something again, helping in some way."
"And?"
"Well I'm not so sure about my team yet but granted, we've only been on one mission. I should give them and myself some time to adjust." There was momentary silence from the other side as Charlie flipped the pancakes. He heard her take a deep breath and exhale loudly. She looked back at Steve wearing a crease between her eyebrows.
"That's not all but I don't want to push you. It's your decision whether you want to tell me or not but I also get the feeling you need to talk." Steve smiled, amused. Charlie never ceased to surprise him.
"I'm surprised you can tell," Steve took a deep breath, "I visited an old friend yesterday."
"Old friend?"
"Yeah, her name was Peggy Carter and she was there with me through my transformation and stuff."
"And how did it go?" Steve was looking down but he couldn't bring himself to look at Charlie at the moment. His throat felt tight and his heart felt heavy.
"Did she not remember you?" Charlie asked softly. Steve could hear her flipping the pancakes onto a plate and adding more batter to the pan. It was comforting in a way and helped relax his throat.
"Well not exactly. She remembered me and we were able to talk…," Steve took a deep breath, "but then she forgot me or-well-forgot our conversation and saw me for the first time all over again."
"Oh Steve," Charlie breathed, sorrow evident in her voice. Steve looked up into Charlie's face and tried to smile.
"It's fine. I'm fine."
"Steve." He looked down at the table and picked at a scratch.
"You loved her didn't you?" The question caught Steve off guard and he looked up. Charlie's eyes are inquiring but not nosy.
"At one time, yes," Steve sighed, "But that's in the past. She has a family. I got to meet them. Actually, I agreed to go back and see her grandkids." The last word stuck in his throat. Grandkids. I should have grandkids, he thought. The feelings from the retirement home came rushing back, the feeling of loneliness, of not belonging.
"But it's not."
"Not what?"
"Not in the past." Steve looked up at Charlie, eyebrows furrowed. Charlie shook her head and sighed.
"You may be 96 years old Steve but that doesn't mean you are. You only woke up two years ago. You haven't lived 96 years so the feelings you had when you froze are still there. Don't deny them that will only lead to worse pain later," Charlie explained gently.
"It's okay to feel Steve. Everyone has feelings, even super soldiers," she smiled sadly, her eyes comforting. Steve took a deep breath, trying to absorb all she'd said. He knew it was true. Everything still felt so unreal to him. It was like blinking but when you opened your eyes, everyone you'd known was either gone or old. In fact, it was exactly like that. Steve didn't know what to do, how to think. How do you wrap your mind around the fact that your in a different era?
"You're right. You're right," Steve repeated, nodding his head. He didn't know what else to say. There wasn't anything Charlie or anybody could do. This was something he had to figure out for himself.
"You're not alone Steve," Charlie said. Steve looked up, puzzled. Of course he was alone. He was the only super soldier in existence.
"I mean you may be the only person with super strength and what not but you do have people around you to talk to. Don't hold it all inside or you'll lose you're mind."
"We can't have that now can we?"
"No we can't," Charlie smiled. Steve smiled back, really smiled.
"Thanks Charlie."
"Anytime Steve." Steve placed his phone on the table with the back against a napkin holder. The phone stayed upright and Steve sat back in his chair.
"Oh! How's Washington D.C.? What does it look like?" Charlie asked suddenly, excitedly. Steve smiled and leaned his chair back to look out the window. Cars raced by on the street and there were several people walking or sitting about.
"Grey. There's a lot of cement but oh, there's a tree. One tree." Charlie's laughter floated through the phone and Steve smiled.
"Sounds like a city. Nonetheless I want to go soon!"
"And leave the peace and quiet of the diner? You're crazy."
"Peace and quiet? Please, you should've seen it these past few days." They're conversation continued easily. They talked about the weather, the diner, Nana and Nattie's bickering, and Steve even mentioned how Washington D.C. had changed.
"The cars were different but it was just as busy as it is now. That hasn't changed. And the constant need to go somewhere, to be somewhere, that's still here."
"Hmm, I can see that." Suddenly, Steve's phone buzzed and fell sideways from its perch. Steve picked it up and tapped the envelope icon.
Fury: Mission in 30. Meet at HQ.
"Steve?" Charlie asked through the phone. Steve sighed and went back to Charlie's face.
"Duty calls."
"Well, have a good day and stay safe Steve Rogers." Steve laughed.
"I'll do my best ma'am," Charlie smiled and started to turn away when Steve remembered, "Hey Charlie," she turned back, "Check out Bing Crosby's song 'As Time Goes By.'" Charlie beamed and nodded.
"Will do Captain," she mock saluted then chuckled. Steve smiled and waved. Charlie waved back and then the screen went black. Steve tapped his phone making the facetime icon go away. He sat back and took a deep breath. He felt better, lighter. How Charlie was able to do that, he had no idea. Thank you Lord for sending me a friend, Steve prayed. He sighed, stood, and stretched. Time to go to work.