"To see a world in a grain of sand/And a heaven in a wildflower/Hold infinity in the palm of your hand/And eternity in an hour." – William Blake - Auguries of Innocence
Nascence
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Void.
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Black.
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Darkness.
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Nothingness.
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Silence.
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Absolute absence of sensation.
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Floating in the nothingness, seeing nothing, and feeling nothing.
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Not aware.
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Not thinking.
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Not feeling time and change.
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Then…
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Being was.
He was.
He was able to distinguish between himself and everything that was not himself.
With this awareness came a thought.
A half-remembered name dredged up from the darkness.
Hiccup.
Hiccup?
His name was Hiccup.
With this knowledge and occasional flashes of recollection, a realization formed itself in his mind.
Dah dah duh, I'm dead!
It was the first conscious thought that he had in what seemed both an eternity and an instant.
If this was death, it was nothing like what he had thought it would be. For one, he still existed in some way and he was aware that he was. He didn't know what to expect from death in advance, because who possibly could, but the reality was truly frightening.
It was awareness without anything to be aware of. It was the most complete solitude imaginable with nothing but thoughts floating in the nothingness. His few, confused memories of life were torturous because they only reminded him of what was gone forever. He wanted to scream in fear, but there was no sound, no air, and he could not feel anything.
An endless amount of time seemed to pass before anything else changed.
Then he was falling. Or floating. Up, down, or sideways, he could not tell since there was nothing that thought alone could orient itself to.
Something else happened.
There was a flash of darkness, strange though that seemed. In the same moment, he realized that touch was again. Sensation started returning to him.
Something soft filled the world around him. He leaned into the strange medium around him and reveled in its touch. That he could experience sensation at all meant that he had to have a body, and that necessarily meant that…
Well, I'm not dead!
That's a relief.
He wanted to cheer when he realized that he wasn't actually dead, but he was too tired to do so. He was too weak to even open his eyes.
Strange.
It then struck him that he was stuck. He couldn't understand why he couldn't move because it didn't feel like he was paralyzed. It was as if the world itself was too small.
Where am I? What happened?
His memories continued to return. Flying, fire, teeth. Fear...
Wait! If I'm still alive, then what about Toothless? Astrid? Dad? Everyone else?
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I must have been knocked unconscious after hitting the tail.
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Thump… thump… thump…
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A heartbeat.
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His own heartbeat?
What?
He was afraid. Something very strange was happening. He had never been able to hear his own heartbeat before, so why now?
He had to know where he was and forced open his eyes, but he couldn't see anything in the surrounding darkness.
Something moved next to him as the world shifted. A mass that writhed and pressed against him. It was becoming slightly uncomfortable.
How did I not notice it until now? What is it?
Nothing came to mind.
His sight was certainly restored when he became aware of a faint, ethereal light in the darkness. It was far too dim to illuminate anything, but nonetheless it existed. Light means fire, warmth, and freedom. It was a small comfort in his situation.
His thoughts went astray, and he fell asleep again.
More dreamless rest and time passed in an instant. Then he was woken up by the strange something from before pushing into his side. That was very uncomfortable! He tried to stretch and made one life-shattering realization.
He could not breathe!
In his one lucid moment before complete panic set in, he was aware that he could not remember recently breathing at all. He was oddly unable to do so now that he tried because the stuff around him was not air.
Between feeling completely alone, being trapped in a dark unknown place, and being unable to breathe, his fear got the best of him and he began to squirm violently.
No, I won't die here!
Die…
A dark spike cut in front of his vision and he heard Toothless's terrified scream.
Let! Me! Out!
He felt the something next to him struggling as well as if it also yearned for freedom or was panicked as well. Something very welcome flooded into existence. He inhaled a single breath of air before realizing that it was already all gone. But that one breath gave him new strength.
He stretched and pushed against the dark boundaries of the world.
The world erupted in light as the ear-shattering sound echoed in his head. He took a deep breath as an abundance of air suddenly existed again.
He closed his eyes against the intensity of the light, fell to the ground in exhaustion, and felt the strange presence that had been at his side vanish. Whatever horrifying place he had been in he was now out of. But he had no energy left to do much.
He took several very deep breaths and relished the simple pleasure of being alive and free.
Ok, I'm not dead. I just need to rest and then I'll find dad.
Need sleep.
Sleep.
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He was about to drift off to sleep when he thought he heard a very familiar sound. Specifically, a crooning that he associated with one particularly curious dragon. However, it sounded slightly different from how he remembered it. He could just be imagining it though.
Toothless?
He opened his eyes with every intention of calling out to see if his friend was nearby but remained silent when he saw where he was. Familiar walls and rugs were all around him.
I'm in my house?
Why am I in my house?
The last he could recall he was at Dragon Island. Maybe he had been brought back from the island after getting hurt. That made sense. But why was he not in his bed as he should be?
Why am I on the floor in my house?
He yawned in exhaustion and tried to raise a hand to cover his yawn. For some reason, it didn't work. He looked down at his arm, blinked away his stupor, and stared.
His arms were very short, covered in black leathery scale-skin, and ended in a paw with tiny claws on its fingers. The thumb was set slightly off from the rest not so differently from a human hand. It reminded him of a small version of Toothless's front paws.
What was the most frightening was that when he tried to move a finger the corresponding digit on the dragon limb moved as if it was his.
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Because it was his.
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What! Oh, no no no no no…
He was instantly fully awake. He had not noticed anything odd until now because he had not been expecting anything to be odd. Everything had seemed natural until this moment. But now he noticed that his teeth were far too sharp against his tongue. His hearing and sense of smell seemed far sharper than he had ever noticed before. His sight seemed different, not in the sense of being fuzzier, but in the sense of there being more to see. Most alarming though was what he seemed to feel on his back and behind him.
He turned his head and what he saw confirmed his suspicions.
From behind his shoulders sprouted a tiny pair of slimy, crumpled appendages.
Wings.
He could feel every inch of their length. He absentmindedly flexed them with muscles he had no idea how to use and winced at the pain it caused. It was like having another set of hands only with very long fingers connected with webbing.
Behind his wings, he could see that his spine extended out into a tail complete with two tiny sets of fins: one at the base of the tail and one on the end of the tail. They were fins the design of which he knew very well, having inspected them in great detail for many days and built a replacement for one that was lost.
His wings and his tail!
As if this was not shocking enough, he also saw that his tail rested in the shattered remains of a black dragon egg. It was not hard for him to come to the completely impossible conclusion.
The world started to spin around him, and he had to remind himself to breathe.
No! No, this cannot be happening!
He shut his eyes in defiance and rested his head on his hand-paws.
Ok, wake up. This is a bad dream. Everything will be fine…
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Wake up!
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Nothing changed. He did not wake up from this nightmare. He could still feel the weight of the wings at his side and the whip-like tail behind him.
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This was too real to be a dream.
The gods hate me!
The unthinkable had somehow happened, and he was now a dragon. Even worse, as if that were possible, he was only a hatchling!
How…
He tried to avoid thinking about his dad and Astrid. About everything that was gone. His chance to enjoy his father's acceptance and Astrid's newfound affection.
He felt like crying, but no tears came. Maybe dragons could not cry.
The moments passed in silence except for the crackle of the fireplace as he lay on the floor. He had no energy or will to do anything. He focused only on his breathing in an attempt to distract himself and avoid thinking about what had happened.
Slowly, he began to calm down even though his mind was still spinning with every second of awareness of his body, both its strangeness and its naturalness.
A very bizarre thought came to mind. Was he was still a he?
Oh gods no, this could be even worse...
Gender was not so obvious on the outside with dragons. It had taken several afternoons in the cove before he had known for sure that Toothless was a male after he saw the dragon relieving himself off in a corner of the cove. Since this body was so alien, he did not know how to tell just from what he could feel. A quick glance between his back legs did not reveal anything.
I really hope that has not changed.
He gave a soft sigh of despair. He looked down at his paws that he had been resting on and at the tiny digits and stubby claws on them.
What am I supposed to do now?
Once again he heard the same cooing sound that he had heard before. He knew that he had not made the noise. Since he was not dreaming that must mean that there was another dragon nearby. His heart leapt a bit at the thought of who may have made that noise.
Toothless?
He did not see his friend's black form anywhere nearby. However, several feet away from where he lay, its body back-lit against the small fire in the fireplace, was a tiny dragon. Specifically, another Night Fury hatchling.
Its head was slightly cocked to one side, and it was staring directly at him with its vibrantly green eyes. He would probably have thought it very adorable if it were not for the circumstances.
In that moment, Hiccup realized that he knew nothing of this strange dragon other than they were the same kind. He felt afraid of it. It looked slightly bigger than him and fighting had never been one of his skills. What would it try to do to him? Was it hungry enough to attack him? He did not want to think that a dragon, let alone a Night Fury like his Toothless, could be a cannibal but there was much he did not know about dragons.
He fell into a defensive stance and slightly bared his teeth in warning. The other dragon continued staring at him with obvious interest. How could that be a good thing? At least it was not moving towards him and seemed to have understood his warning.
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.
.
He became aware of himself as his memories returned to him in a flash and the long sleep ended. He could not see, hear, or feel anything, but he knew he had once done so. With nothing around him to change, he could not notice the passage of time, but he could vaguely remember it happening in the past.
Is this death?
His entire life flashed before him.
Opening his eyes for the first time, seeing others of his kind, the nurturing he was given, play, learning to speak, his first attempts at flight, the passing of seasons, the attack on his home nest, his first experience with death, escape into the wild, and survival.
A nest of killer two-legs, danger, a nest of kin on an island of fire and warmth, the Monster that rules them and eats them, his protecting of kin while they fight the two-legs for food, and seasons of death.
Alone.
Another night raid, two-leg vines encircling him, his fall from the sky, and a sharp pain in his tail. Sadness gripped his liver at the memory.
Is that how I died?
Pain, bound limbs, a small male two-leg, and a not-claw. His death accepted because two-legs give no mercy.
This one did. Mercy. A two-leg knows mercy and gave him freedom? What? Take revenge! Justice… Revenge... Mercy? Mercy.
Forgiveness.
His hunger, imprisonment in the hole in the ground, his broken tail, despair, the two-leg again, and curiosity. It tossed away its not-claw, gave a gift of fish, his return gift, its daring, his annoyance, and rest.
What an odd creature.
Image-making in the ground, his own image, play, dancing, bravery, wariness, and trust offered. The two-leg trusted him.
What?
He was very confused.
Why do I know this two-leg?
Trust accepted and the touch of a two-leg paw... No creature ever trusted its life to him before. More fish, hope that he might return to the skies, help given, failure together, practice together, flight together, joy together, falling together, fear together, and roars of triumph together.
Everything fell into place. Hiccup, the two-leg called himself. What was the word Hiccup used for him? Toothless.
He was not sure what the sounds meant, but it was his two-leg who gave him that sound-name and that made it meaningful.
The world burst into existence.
Time existed again as he could feel differences between here and there, this and that.
Sensation returned to him. His body existed again. It was overwhelming for all these sensations to fill the void that he had not known existed.
He could touch the world even though he found that he was trapped. Despite his movement being very confined, he was still comforted by the warm surroundings. He had little strength with which to open his eyes. The only sounds he could hear were that of his own life-organ and its echo.
Why did this seem familiar, as if he had already been here before?
Where am I? Where is Hiccup?
Flying and a female two-leg… the call of the Monster in the mountain, a need to show the two-legs the reason for the raids, rescuing Hiccup from the angered fire-scale kin, being trapped in chains, being taken to fire-nest island, hopelessness, rescue, flight against the Monster, and its death plunge.
The spiked tail, his pain, Hiccup's life-water pouring from his chest, their fall, and his own sacrifice with his life-will-power.
In that terrible moment, he knew exactly where he was and why he was alone. He had tried to do something that had never been done before and probably failed. There had been no way to know exactly what would happen, but anything would have been better than this. He was sure that Hiccup was gone, that he had failed his friend.
Gone!
He wanted to roar and howl in pain, but he had no breath with which to do so. It did not even occur to him that he should know none of this: that he should have no awareness of himself and his memories. All he knew was the emptiness.
The pain of having something so deeply good in life and then having it taken away. All was wrong with the world. Why should he live again and not Hiccup?
His limbs and tail twitched as he shivered in fear. How could he live happily knowing what he knew? The comfort that his small world had afforded him was replaced with panic and anger.
Something else moved beside him. He paid it no mind. It did not matter.
He stretched and pressed. He could hear the barriers of the world begin to shatter under his strength. Then he felt his tiny muscles begin to give out. He was not strong enough.
Panic. Sheer panic. This was not good! Why was he not strong enough? He knew what would happen if he could not get out.
He did not want to die.
Hiccup would want him to live.
He pushed again just as the strange thing alongside him did the same.
The dark world around him shattered. He fell to the ground in a slimy mess as he felt the shards of his egg crumble beneath him.
There was light.
The warmth and light before him was almost irresistible. He crawled to it, still getting re-accustomed to his new limbs. He slowly opened his eyes as a world of color and sensation revealed itself. Being outside of his egg, he could also smell everything around him.
He was inside a two-leg den and before him danced a small fire in a pit full of wood and ash. It did not look like a wild fire, instead it looked like it was meant to be there. Warmth. A perfect place to curl up and rest. Just like snuggling against the belly of its dam would be for a normal hatchling.
He fanned his small wings out before the fire to help them dry off. It hurt to stretch them out, but it was still good to do since it meant he would get the egg-water off sooner. There were no sounds other than the soft crackle of the fire. From a quick glance around the den, he thought that it must be during the night since there was no light other than the fire before him.
And the smells!
Skins of many four-legs and prey covered the ground and the sides of the two-leg dent. Ashes of old fires were scattered near the living fire. The scents of meats, fish, and other two-leg foods assaulted him. The smells of the fish and the meats made him realize how hungry he was. The most powerful smell, however, was the musk of one two-leg male. It was a scent that he recognized and did not particularly like. The two-leg Alpha. Hiccup's sire.
True, the male had freed him from the chains under the water, but he had also put him in the chains in the first place. That two-leg hated kin. So why would his own egg be in this two-leg's den?
My egg. Strange.
The urge to look at the remains of his egg was overwhelming. After all, he had no past, no memories, and little awareness of his self the first time he had hatched.
He turned and froze in shock.
The dark black egg had split in half with the bottom half being mostly crushed when he fell out of it. Surprisingly, it lay surrounded by a pile of two-leg things like the false skins they wore. Almost like it had been in a nest. The egg had also been left near the fire where it was kept warm. He would think about how strange it seemed that his egg had been cared for later because it was not this realization that left him amazed.
It was the fact that he was not alone.
There, resting on the ground with its eyes closed, its body still a slimy mess, and its tail resting inside the eggshell was another hatchling just like him.
What!
.
Two from one egg? Impossible!
What he had done could not create new life: it could only save life that already exists. Twin hatchlings from the same egg was unheard of. Something was very odd about this.
Wait! What I did… How can I remember?
He only just fully remembered the implications of what he had done. He had been healed of his death-bringing wound by being made new instead of only having the bad hurts be made not. Had what he remembered about the life-will-power been wrong?
He trilled softly to announce his own presence to the other hatchling. He did not want to spook it into attacking or thinking him a threat. With no adults to oversee the young, there was always the possibility of them hurting each other.
He also did not bother speaking to the hatchling since it would not know what he was saying. He would have to teach this hatchling himself if they both lived. After all, he was the adult here.
In a way.
The other hatchling visibly stiffened at the sound he made and opened its eyes. At first, it looked around at its surroundings in clear confusion.
It is probably looking for its dam.
After a few moments, it seemed to realize something important because it looked down at the ground near its forefeet. It then reacted by swinging its head around and looking over its back towards where the egg shards lay.
Hatchlings are supposed to be relieved at leaving the egg. It is a good and necessary part of life and growth. So why did this one groan as if in pain, shut its eyes against what it had seen, and shake its head in denial? It gave its wings and tail a twitch as if to confirm that they actually existed and then lay down again with its eyes tightly pressed shut and its head on its front paws.
Toothless cocked his head in thorough confusion at this hatchling's actions. He could not understand what could be so disturbing to it. It did not seem very concerned about the world around it. It should have been confused about where it was and the strange sensations around it. Instead, it is its own body that it seemed to find strange.
What is wrong with it?
.
…only save life that already exists…
.
He froze and his tiny wings flopped down at his side as his eyes went wide. An impossible explanation came to mind. There had been one other person to whom he had extended his life-will-power. But still it seemed too good to be true. Did he dare to hope?
He took a moment to consider the hatchling, a male he could tell from its scent and tiny head-frills, and all he knew about it. The more he thought about it, the more the impossible explanation seemed to make sense. It would somewhat explain the other hatchling's origins. It would definitely explain why it seemed confused with itself. Sure, a hatchling normally needs time to learn how to walk and a long time to learn how to fly, but that is not the same as being confused by the existence of ones own limbs.
And why did it shake its head? That is a very two-leg thing to do.
It must be! The explanation seemed to have little lift, but no other explanation had any.
Toothless looked directly at the other hatchling, searching for some sign of recognition.
"Hiccup?"
It looked up directly at him at the sound of his voice and its eyes quickly narrowed to slits. It took a defensive posture with its teeth slightly bared and hindquarters lowered to be ready to pounce. Two pairs of forest-green eyes stared into their own reflections. One was hopeful and the other was fearful.
They stared at each other while he tried to figure out what to do. He was confident in his own ability to win a fight if it came to that since he had a lifetime of experience. He did not want to fight. Especially since he was sure that the little one before him was, somehow, his Hiccup. So why would Hiccup not trust him?
A moment of thought left Toothless feeling quite foolish that he had not realized the reasons sooner. Hiccup would have no idea how kin nestlings behaved. Would they fight for dominance? Try to eat each other? Of course Hiccup would be afraid. Hiccup's being a kin now must surely be very disturbing and confusing to him. Even he himself was confused at how this had happened since what he had done should not have changed what Hiccup was. It also made sense that Hiccup would not recognize him.
How can I show him that I am Toothless? What would he recognize?
The answer came to him, and he barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his how obvious it was. He knew what he had to do. It was very dangerous, but if Hiccup would recognize anything in this situation, it would be this.
The other dragon just stood there and looked at him with its wide green eyes. He gradually became less afraid as it did not make any threatening moves. It seemed to be excited about something since its tail was twitching and ears were raised. What could it possibly be excited about?
Then it did something that made his eyes widen in shock.
It smiled a distinctly gummy smile at him.
Hiccup blinked in amazement and closed his mouth. He knew that expression. Only one dragon that he knew of had ever known that toothless smile.
T… Toothless?
As if he knew that he was allowed to approach, the dragon that might be Toothless began slowly walking towards him in an evidently non-threatening manner. Hiccup raised his own head to be on the same level as the other hatchling.
Toothless stopped directly in front of Hiccup and sat down. They were so close that they could feel each other's scentless breath. There was one more thing that he would do to prove to Hiccup who he was.
He closed his eyes and tipped his head back to expose his throat.
He remembered the gesture that Hiccup had made by entrusting him with his life. But it was not merely that he risked his life; it was that Hiccup had intentionally given him the chance to do whatever he wanted to with the trust that was given. If anything could convince Hiccup, it would be to do the same for him.
Please trust me.
Hiccup understood when he saw the other hatchling close its eyes and present its vulnerable neck. He had done something very similar to gain Toothless's trust on the first day he had gone into the cove. All his doubt and wariness vanished instantly. The baby dragon before him was his Toothless! Not only that, but Toothless clearly recognized him even now.
He still had no idea what had happened to either him or Toothless for that matter to put them in this situation, but in that moment he did not care. Toothless was alive! Somehow they were both alive!
Toothless stood still, clearly waiting for him to do something. Hiccup opened his mouth to shout out Toothless's name but then remembered that he could not speak. More precisely, he did not know how to speak as a dragon even assuming that such a thing were possible. How could he show Toothless that he understood?
Hiccup took one unsteady step forward, closed his eyes, and pressed his nose against Toothless's neck.
Toothless's life-fire leapt the moment that he felt Hiccup's muzzle. Never mind that such nuzzling was a gesture only used by mates to each other or to their offspring. Hiccup could not know that. What was important was that Hiccup recognized him! Not only was Hiccup alive and clearly recognized him, but now they were…
What exactly were they?
They were not truly nestmates since there was no nest. Egg-mates? Is that even a thing? After all, they had come from the same egg even though they did not have the same sire and dam.
"Hiccup, you are alive."
He knew that Hiccup would not understand his meaning, but the effect on Hiccup was immediately apparent.
It was not the first time he had heard Toothless make a complex series of sounds. He seemed to have many different grunts, purrs, rumbles, and chirps. However, this was the first time he had heard those sounds with a dragon's ears. It was also the first time Toothless had properly spoken to him.
These were not the simple, monotonic, or animalistic sounds that he remembered. They were rich with pitch, tone, and intent. There seemed to be an entire range that he had not been able to hear before. With a shock to everything he thought he knew about dragons, Hiccup realized that he was not hearing the mere noises of a creature expressing pleasure or displeasure.
He was hearing a language.
A language which he had no reason to doubt was capable of conveying ideas. It was too complex and intricate to be otherwise. Toothless was talking to him! True, he had no idea what Toothless was trying to say, but that did not change what he was hearing.
He cocked his head and made what he thought was a questioning warble to ask Toothless what he meant. Surely Toothless would understand that sound.
Toothless could barely contain his excitement at the prospect of truly talking to Hiccup. It had been very frustrating in the past only being able to share how he felt in the most basic of ways. Sure, Hiccup had quickly figured out when he was happy, unhappy, and hungry, but those were hardly sufficient. There was so much that he wanted to tell Hiccup about. There had been no way that Hiccup could understand him in the past, but now Hiccup could. He would have to teach Hiccup how to talk. It would not be easy, but he knew that Hiccup had been very smart for a two-leg and that was unlikely to have changed.
Toothless nudged Hiccup's chest and then flopped onto the ground. He closed his eyes, spread his limbs, and remained completely still without even drawing breaths for a few moments. He then opened his eyes and looked up at Hiccup.
He shook his head vigorously and growled before rolling back onto his feet. He walked back over to Hiccup and pressed his nose against Hiccup's chest again while rumbling in happiness.
Hiccup thought he knew what Toothless was trying to say. He had first indicated Hiccup, pretended to be dead, and then motioned no. He was happy that Hiccup was not dead.
"Hiccup, I am happy that you are alive."
Toothless tried to say this as slowly and clearly as he could since Hiccup needed to hear as much as possible if he was going to be able to learn. Incredibly, Hiccup was able to mimic the sounds very closely after hearing them only twice. He could not yet know what he was saying, but Toothless was now sure that he would eventually be able to teach Hiccup everything.
As excited as he was about these developments, there was something else that was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
His hunger.
After all, his body had never had any food before. What a twisting thought…
He gave a soft purr and bumped Hiccup's head to get his attention. Once he had his attention, he looked in the direction he thought the fish smell came from. He was once again struck by how strange the inside of two-leg nest-dens were. He saw a familiar type of object on the side of the area where the food smells came from.
Every time that Hiccup had brought him something that looked like this object there had been fish inside it. This one would surely be no different.
He slowly began walking across the wooden floor towards the fish smell while staying alert. He did not like that he was in the sire's den and did not know where the two-leg was. It had been easy to defend himself before, but now he was completely helpless. It was only a few moments before he realized that Hiccup had not followed him. He paused and saw that Hiccup had not moved. Instead, Hiccup was staring at Toothless's tail.
He looked at it himself and, unsurprisingly enough, it was there. So why was Hiccup still staring at the tail as if there were something special about it?
What could…
He quickly curled his tail against his side in order to get a better look at it. He stared in awe.
There, at the end of his tail, were two gloriously whole fins. Two whole fins!
He gave each one a lick and then fanned them open and shut several times to confirm that they actually existed. They did. He gave a soft roar of joy and began to jump around while flapping his wings in delight.
Actually, it was more of a squeak and he probably looked very silly since he would not be able to fly anyway for a while, but he could not care less how he sounded or looked.
He was whole again! He was not grounded! He would fly again! He could teach Hiccup how to fly and they could fly together!
He looked back and was surprised to see Hiccup staring at the ground with his wings drooping at his side. Hiccup looked completely distraught about something. It was not hard to figure out why.
Guilt.
Ever since he had come to know Hiccup, he had strongly suspected that Hiccup was somehow responsible for trapping him in the ropes that dragged him out of the sky. What other two-leg was clever enough? Why else had he been the one two-leg who knew where he had fallen? This also meant that Hiccup was the one responsible for the loss of the tailfin, which then left him unable to fly on his own. Now, looking back over his tail, he was very grateful that he had not known that when Hiccup had spared his life and cut him free from the ropes. He did not want to think about what he might have done if he had known that Hiccup had shot him down and crippled him.
He also knew that it was because he could not fly that he had the opportunity to know Hiccup at all. He had long considered it a worthwhile trade that he would gladly make again, but it seemed that Hiccup did not know that he did not resent him.
He walked back over to Hiccup, who also looked up at his approach but avoided his gaze.
For the last few months, Hiccup had felt slightly guilty about the injury he had dealt to Toothless. He was not someone who enjoyed seeing others in pain. For a dragon to be unable to fly would certainly be worse than the physical pain of the injury. To lose the freedom of flight would almost be to lose their very self, to lose what made them dragons. At the same time, he knew that without Toothless being unable to fly they would not likely have ever come to know each other. Toothless's freedom had to be sacrificed so that their friendship would be possible.
Still, he could not help but think that he had just been making excuses for himself to evade his responsibility.
He had initially thought that dragons were mere beasts, animals like any other. Unlike the other Vikings, he did not especially hate them. They were more of a nuisance, an inconvenience to him since he had no skill or true desire to hurt them. Something had changed when he looked into the eyes of the downed Night Fury. He had not seen madness, anger, or blind instinct. Instead, he saw intelligence, fear, and loneliness. They were windows that opened into feeling. Almost as though they were mirrors. As he spent more time in the cove and learned how clever and caring Toothless actually was, he came to suspect that that the dragon was not very different from a human. That he is capable of thinking about others well-being and safety and of wanting their happiness.
That he is a person as well.
Now that he was a dragon and knew that Toothless had his own language, there was no doubt in his mind. So much so that when Toothless turned around and walked back to him, he could not bear to look him in the face. His own shame was too great. His blindness and desire to conform had maimed a person who seemed naturally good and kind to him.
I'm so stupid.
Because he averted his gaze, he did not see Toothless stop at his side. The first warning he got was the pressure from one of Toothless's paws on one his own tailfins. Specifically, the left one. The same one that Toothless had once lost.
Hiccup inhaled and quivered slightly in fear. What was Toothless going to do? Surely Toothless was not going to hurt him, would he?
He fearfully looked up.
Toothless had one of his paws on Hiccup's tailfin and the other on his own. He looked from one, to the other, and finally at Hiccup. Very deliberately he lifted both his paws and shifted his own tail around so that it rested against Hiccup's and the fins overlapped.
Toothless exhaled once.
"I forgive you."
There was no mistaking the message even though Hiccup did not know what he said. Hiccup let out the breath that he did not know he had been holding. Toothless clearly did not blame him. There was still a bit of guilt too deeply ingrained to be so easily forgotten, but for now it was enough that Toothless understood the reason he was upset and offered him forgiveness.
Hiccup could only give Toothless a toothless smile of his own to show that he understood. He still wondered how someone could be so easily forgiving of such a great wrong. In a way, it did not seem right.
"Come Hiccup."
His musings were interrupted by Toothless calling out to him as he bounded off toward the kitchen.
Of course Toothless would go there of all places.
Actually, that does not sound like a bad idea.
In fact, he was starving.
Well, the food is not going to come to me.
He rose to all fours, strange though it still seemed to him, and slowly followed in Toothless's footsteps. He initially found it difficult to walk now that he was having to consciously think about the action. How did Toothless do this? It wasn't the kind of thing that he had really paid attention to in the past. He watched Toothless's natural movements. He moved his limbs on the opposite sides with one in front and one in back each time he took a step.
Now it made sense. He had been thinking about walking like he always had before but that would not work anymore. It was oddly easy to replicate Toothless's way of walking since it made perfect sense for a four-legged creature. Running, he was sure, would be a slightly different matter. He could distinctly remember that Toothless used a leaping motion with his front and back legs working as separate units for each bound.
Another problem quickly arose. Specifically, his wings were awkwardly dragging at his side. That was definitely not right. Toothless's wings were neatly folded at his side and didn't even seem to shift when he moved.
Ok, I can figure this out.
He grimaced as he stretched and flexed his new muscles and fanned his wings out to their full length. Not that they were very large at all. He could not resist the urge to inspect them more closely.
They were so thin that he thought that he might be able to see through them if he were to hold them up in front of a fire. The bones which the smooth webbing enclosed were clearly distinguishable underneath the leathery skin. The wings were pitch black, just like Toothless's, except for the places where a thin sheen of slime gave them a bit of a reflective shine. The egg-slime would be cleaned away with time.
Holding his wings off the ground as he was currently doing quickly turned out to be a very strenuous activity. He had to relax them. He drew them back to his side and blinked in amazement that they naturally folded into place.
I'm not sure how I did that…
Toothless bugled to him.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Unencumbered by the act of walking and with his wings neatly folded away, he crossed the smelly rugs on the floor and joined Toothless in the kitchen next to the basket that usually held fish. Toothless looked from him, to the basket, and back. He cocked his head and rumbled as if to say, "Well, get the fish!"
Wait, fish? Fish… Great, I'm going to be stuck eating raw fish from now on. Love it…
He sighed.
Well, at least Toothless loves fish, so I guess I will too.
Now that he was next to the basket, he realized exactly how small both he and Toothless were by comparison. They seemed about a foot long, ignoring their tails, and maybe twice that across with their wings fully stretched out. Smaller than a Terrible Terror. In fact, a large fish that the village catches is definitely bigger and heavier. It was quite embarrassing and more than a little frightening. Things that he had never had reason to be afraid of he now definitely had to fear. Things like being stepped on.
The basket did not have a lid. Hiccup surprised himself by successfully making two great leaps, one up onto the chair and the next up on top of the kitchen table. As usual, it was a mess, but he was able to look down on the basket. It was empty except for one very large and rather tough-looking fish. With their lack of real claws and with only very tiny teeth, there was no chance that they could eat it.
What a shame…
Among the mess on top of the table, Hiccup noticed a plate with a slightly charred salmon, which had already been skinned, and a nearby bowl of stew. His dad's cooking, if it deserved to be called such, was unmistakable. They both looked like they had been untouched for a while.
That would have to do.
He looked over the table at Toothless and beckoned him up with a flick of his head. Toothless joined him on the table a couple seconds later and quickly located the fish. He grumbled when he saw the food.
Why do two-legs ruin fish by burning it? Well, it is better than nothing.
Toothless did not waste any more time and attacked the salmon by tearing off small chunks which he was able to swallow. Hiccup was more hesitant.
This piece of fish presented a challenge to him. This would be the first time he ate food with paws and claws instead of hands and utensils. It would be the first time he ate food as a dragon. It seemed to him that to eat this fish meant that he accepted that his human life was gone. He was not ready to do that and did not think he ever would. Yes, he knew that his body was that of a dragon but that did not really make him one. Did it?
Perhaps magic was real and had done this to him. If so, maybe he could be changed back. He held on to that hope.
Once again Toothless interrupted his reverie, only this time there was a small strip of fish hanging from his mouth. He dropped it at Hiccup's feet. Hiccup's stomach betrayed him by choosing that moment to grumble.
"Eat."
Hiccup had to understand his meaning. Almost at the same moment, he realized that he had a perfect opportunity to start teaching Hiccup his language. He looked at the bit of fish that he dropped and back to Hiccup. He poked it with a paw.
"Fish."
He looked into the basket where the enormous fish lay.
"Fish."
Of course there were different types of fish, but such distinctions could wait until later.
At first, Hiccup was not sure what Toothless was trying to tell him, but he quickly realized that he was making the same sounds every time he looked at a fish. Did he mean to say "fish" or was he commanding Hiccup to eat? Probably "fish." His mouth still felt all wrong when he tried to repeat the word. Still, his attempt was close enough that Toothless gave him a happy mumble and a smile before nudging the slimy piece of fish toward him using a paw. Hiccup groaned at the irony.
Why do I always get fish from his mouth?
He picked up the bit of fish in his gums and tried to ignore how slimy it now was.
Ok, now what?
He thought back to how Toothless never seemed to chew his fish. Instead, he always swallowed them in large chunks if not whole. It actually made sense now that he thought about it. A Night Fury's sharp teeth were made for tearing, not grinding.
Here goes nothing.
It took a bit of maneuvering but he was able to get the chunk of fish to the back of his throat using his oddly shaped tongue. He followed Toothless's example by tipping his head back. Strange reflexes seemed to take over and he swallowed seemingly without volition. The piece of fish was gone in an instant.
It was surprisingly satisfying even without chewing. The fishy taste that he had always merely tolerated was now delicious. Suddenly, the rest of the fish looked far more appetizing.
What has happened to me? Oh, yeah… I'm a dragon, that is what...
Toothless gave a mumble of approval before returning to the plate where he had already set aside several pieces.
Well, I am very hungry…
He knew that he should not just sit there and mope. He resigned himself and walked over to the remaining pieces of fish. Between the both of them, all the remaining bits of fish, save the bones of course, disappeared very quickly. Incredibly, Hiccup was still hungry afterwards. His father's fish stew began to look delicious. That was mildly disturbing to say the least.
Ok, my dad's cooking looks good. Now I know that I'm losing my mind!
Toothless also looked at the dish with suspicion. After sniffing at it and narrowing his eyes in doubt, he took a cautious slurp. And then a second. Apparently, it was not so bad that he would refuse to eat it.
"Hiccup, eat this."
Together, they worked on the cold fish stew. Hiccup could not quite tell what his father had put in the stew to make it taste so good. Then again, it was possible that he had not added anything to the stew and it only tasted good because he himself was so different. That was more likely.
After the bowl was emptied, Hiccup realized that he had eaten far more than he had thought he would. In fact, both he and Toothless were so small that the relatively light meal left them both feeling slow and with filled bellies. It was a great feeling considering that they had both been starving only minutes before.
With such a full belly, Hiccup was beginning to feel very sleepy. He had been feeling tired before, but then the excitement surrounding his strange body, the other hatchling, and his discovery that the other dragon was actually Toothless had given him a lot of energy. Now that energy was wearing off.
The warmth of the fireplace where he had first seen Toothless became very appealing. Toothless saw where he was looking and purred in agreement.
"Good idea."
Toothless walked to the edge of the table and leapt down to the chair and from there onto the floor. Hiccup was a bit less comfortable with the action. It could not be more than three feet from the tabletop to the ground, but to him it looked like a much longer distance to fall. It had been easy to get up, but getting down looked to be a bit more challenging.
I can do this. I can do this.
He walked up to the edge of the table and looked down at his front paws. He was not yet accustomed to how different they felt. Not to mention the fact that he walked on four limbs now. He took a deep breath and leapt.
And misjudged the distance.
He crashed into the back of the chair instead of landing on its seat. The chair tipped backwards.
Oh, oops…
CRASH!
The sound of the chair toppling to the ground broke the relative silence of the night. Toothless whipped his head around at the noise.
"Hiccup!"
He was at Hiccup's side a moment later. Hiccup was laying upside down on top of the back of the fallen sitting-thing. He looked rather dazed, but his wings and tail both looked unharmed. Hiccup moaned in annoyance and covered his head with a wing in embarrassment. Toothless knew how horrible it was to have ones wings or tail injured, and he breathed a sigh of relief that neither had happened.
The situation was actually rather amusing now that he was sure that Hiccup was not hurt. Clearly, he had not lost all his innate clumsiness. Toothless laughed a throaty laugh before nudging Hiccup.
"Get up."
Without waiting, he turned and began to walk back towards the fireplace. He could not see the glint in Hiccup's eyes as he rolled off the chair to right himself. Hiccup lowered himself to the ground and prepared his attack.
Toothless, you think that was funny! Well, take this!
He lunged and pounced. This time he found his target.
He landed on Toothless's back while being very careful to avoid his wings. His momentum sent both of them rolling forward in a flailing mass of limbs. Hiccup curled himself into as tight a ball as he could to take the roll more smoothly. When they came to rest, Hiccup found himself standing on Toothless's back with his front feet. He raised his head high in triumph.
Yes, I have brought down this mighty…
Toothless whipped his tail around and swept Hiccup's back legs out from under him. He twisted his own body to the side so that Hiccup could not brace himself. Hiccup fell to the floor on his side with a squeak, and Toothless pounced on top of him. Toothless's front legs held down Hiccup's and his tail did the same.
Hiccup was pinned.
They looked at each other in silence for several moments before Toothless, looking very pleased with himself, gave Hiccup the smile that he so much liked and released him. Hiccup just rolled his eyes.
Useless reptile.
.
Oh...
Yeah, I can't use that one anymore.
Defeated, Hiccup followed Toothless over to the warmth in front of the fireplace. He was considering where would be best to lie down when he saw it hanging above the fireplace.
His helmet.
The helmet his father had proudly given him. The helmet that he had cast aside in a public act of defiance. The only relic that he had left of his mother.
The combination of being back in his house, being completely exhausted, and the sight of the helmet which carried with it such powerful memories brought back the feelings of despair and emptiness.
He would never again wake up and put on clothes, help Gobber work in the forge, craft new machines, draw pictures, write in his notebook, talk to his father, and Astrid... Oh Astrid! Why had this happened to him just after he had finally gotten Astrid to like him? None of it was fair!
He hung his head and gasped in sadness.
I've lost everything…
Toothless was not sure why Hiccup was so obviously upset again. How could he help to warm Hiccup's liver? The moment after Hiccup hung his head, a hint of mischief shone in Toothless's eyes. His tongue darted out and licked Hiccup's face. Hiccup rumbled to himself and tried to wipe as much of the slobber off his face as he could using a paw.
Ugh, Toothless, why would you do that?
Actually, he knew why Toothless had done it. He had not really lost everything because he still had his best friend. They were both alive, and Toothless was trying to help him.
With time, he might eventually find a way to move on. There was still the hope that he could be turned back into a human.
He settled down with his belly on one of the rags in front of the fireplace. The heat from the fire felt absolutely glorious even though the fire was a bit bright. He curled his tail up near his head and examined the tail closely. The veins in the fins stood out vividly in the glare from the fireplace. He stroked the tail and the fins with a single paw and was acutely aware of how his tail and wings had seemed to move completely naturally and felt like they were truly part of him. As if he had always been like this.
Strange.
He fanned his fins wide and curled them over his head just as he had seen Toothless do in the cove. Between the exhaustion of the day and the heat of the fire seeping into his scales, Hiccup was sound asleep in moments.
Toothless was still pondering Hiccup's actions as he watched him fall asleep.
Why are you still so sad, Hiccup?
The only answer had to be that he was not comfortable with what he was.
I would be very chilled if I turned into a two-leg.
He shuddered at the thought of not having his wings and of never again flying beyond the clouds. Had something similar happened to Hiccup? There was the female two-leg that two-leg Hiccup seemed attracted to. Still, they had no young and had not been mates. He would have been able to tell if they had been mates. There could have been something else though that he did not know of.
"I had to save you," he whispered.
You would have died. I did not mean for this to happen to you.
It was his fault that Hiccup was life-chilled. He did not regret what he had done. He still had no idea why Hiccup had been changed since he did not intend it and had no idea how to intentionally change him. Still, he would much rather Hiccup be alive as a kin than be a dead two-leg. He could only hope that Hiccup would eventually accept his new life.
He lay down at Hiccup's side and rested his head on his paws. The only sounds were the steady crackling of the fire, the whistle of the outside wind, and their own slow breaths.
"I will keep you safe, Hiccup. I promise."
They had both survived the impossible together. He truly hoped that Hiccup would be happy again. And he would be there at his side to teach him everything he would need to know and to face whatever would come. Hiccup was all he still had in life.
With that thought, Toothless finally drifted off to sleep as the wind continued to whistle outside.