Author's Note:
For those who aren't geniuses with names, Kaiya is, in this timeline the daughter of Kiritsugu and his assistant Maiya, from Fate/Zero, raised alone by Maiya. Her twisted relationship with her mother is just as much a part of this story as her relationship with Arjuna and Chaldea itself.
CW: There is sex in this chapter.
Kaiya stepped into the cool darkness from the overheated, boisterous tavern in the werewolf-and-catgirl village that Ritsuka had discovered. Within the tavern, Martha, Elizabeth Bathory and Penthesilea were still in the process of drinking the toughest the village had to offer under the table.
It was, apparently, the peaceful way to resolve the micro-singularity, and Ritsuka liked peaceful solutions. It had been explained to Kaiya in a kind of expert shorthand she couldn't really follow, especially after she'd started tossing back the village's mushroom ale. The general gist, though, was that if the Servants could outdrink the werewolves, they'd give up their whatsit of power and allow their closed world to dissolve back into the real one. But if the werewolves won, Ritsuka would have to stay forever, as… a power source or something?
There wasn't really much risk of the Servants losing—Martha was in there—nor of Kaiya contributing to the victory at all. She was only human. But she drank along with the rest because the earthy ale was just like other beer in that it made her tongue tingle and her mind lose its grip on all the gathered sorrows she couldn't otherwise stop clutching.
It had been enjoyable enough at first. She was familiar with Martha's idiosyncratic approach to outdrinking everybody else. But after a time Kaiya had realized that while the some of the Servants were doing Ritsuka's work, Siegfried and Nursery Rhyme had abstained from the fun and games to keep watch over the crowd. And Robin Hood and Arjuna had both remained outside, to keep watch for potential ambushes. A nagging sense of responsibility had unexpectedly attacked her, speaking in Doctor Roman's voice. How could she protect Ritsuka, with her joyful eyes and glasses of milk, if she was trashed out of her mind?
The cool breeze carried the green scent of the forest to her past the woodsmoke and sweat lingering in her nose. She wandered off to an outhouse and once she emerged, lingered between the two buildings to look up at the glittering stars. It was a close facsimile of the sky above Chaldea, but she saw that so rarely that she'd forgotten how cold and pure starlight could be. "Tiny beacons of hope in a vast sunless sea," her friend Zanzi had said one clear night a few years ago, and the memory made Kaiya smile even as her eyes burned.
As she looked down, blinking back tears, her smile lingering, her attention was drawn to her more immediate surroundings. No matter what hope they inspired, the stars didn't do much in terms of illumination, and the blocks of light from the thrown-wide shutters on the tavern created yet deeper shadows between them. And there—something moved at the terminator of light and dark.
Her smile fading, Kaiya squinted at the light instinctively, trying to discern what she'd missed. Behind her, something growled, while to her left, toward the forest, a footfall scuffed in a ripple of umbra.
"Oh," she said, and her bleary, cautious shuffle metamorphosed into a stretch as adrenaline released bubbles of light in her mind. She suddenly felt so loose her hands trembled at her side. When she inhaled, she felt alive.
In a confidential whisper, like sharing a secret with a friend, she said to the shadows, "Well, come on then."
"Hey there, missy," said a low voice off to her side. "Remember what your little boss-lady said?"
"Let's all be nice to each other," said Ritsuka, cheerfully inspecting her troops and the gathered villagers, forgetting that one among her 'each other' was only human. Not Ritsuka, not a Servant. To these werewolves, prey.
Me.
That's all right.
"Come on, time for you to be nice to us." rumbled a voice from her other side. "We've got a nice little house we want you to be nice to us in."
She thought there might be as many as six, all around her. The werewolves were faster than her, generally speaking. She'd use that against them. She'd have to watch for ground hazards, though.
Try talking first, suggested a small part of her brain, as something else she could do here. Screaming. Running. But alcohol was very good at muffling that voice, and none of those acts made her feel so light and free and in control as she did while fighting for her life.
She estimated she wouldn't have to bring down more than two or three before the rest would retreat. They'd tattle to Ritsuka that she hadn't been nice, but Ritsuka wasn't an idiot. She'd work it out.
"All right, boys," said one of the werewolves, and Kaiya's mother's teachings took over.
She can't just move. She has to dance. Her feet aren't just transportation, they're weapons in their own right. Her feet can change the world, at least from the point of view of the head she kicks.
One of them lunges for her from nearly behind, but she sees it because she's light, loose, transparent, a ghost and she catches his wrist with a sidestep and then—
And then the werewolf was yanked away from her as Arjuna, her Servant, her protector, got involved, and the glowing brightness filling her drained away.
He appeared as a silhouette in front of one of the windows, and Kaiya didn't know if he'd materialized or been in the shadows all along. It didn't matter, though. He was fast enough that none of the five werewolves had a chance to run away before they were groaning on the ground. Kaiya watched dully, her arms around herself, the effervescent bubbling of her spirit once again lead and ashes.
He paused to confirm each werewolf still lived before checking on Kaiya. She hadn't moved from where she'd frozen when he appeared. Why bother? She trusted him to save her.
In a voice tinged with amusement, Arjuna said, "So you can defend yourself."
That woke her from her reverie. She gave him a black look as she turned to return to the tavern. "Not really. Not unless I have to."
Back in the tavern, she joined the drinking contest again, all thoughts of acting responsible shattered. She lasted through Liz's impromptu tabletop singing routine and cheered when Robin Hood hauled her out. At one point she remembered shaking off Nursery Rhyme's small, concerned hand. While her vision darkened at the edges and she started having trouble focusing, she was feeling pretty good about staring Pen and some asshole werewolf straight in the eye. And then, once again, Arjuna had to step in and ruin things.
His arms closed around her shoulders from behind as he said calmly, "Master. Time to stop." Long fingers closed over her mug and took it from her, and then he lifted her bodily away from the table she'd been leaning on. Somehow she knew his voice perfectly even though the faces swaying around her seemed distorted and alien. And she was angry at him… wasn't she? Wait…
Where was she again? Oh right. Drinking with werewolves. Awful, nasty werewolves. So much faster than men. Sometimes you can't meet in the middle, Ritsuka. Sometimes the middle is already too far into their territory.
Her feet could change the world but right now they were dangling as somebody held her securely against a warm, masculine chest. Very white. Wearing something so very white.
"Arjuna?" She sounded pathetic, which was fine because she was pathetic.
"Yes, Master," he said softly. "I'm here."
She pressed her face against the heavy silk covering his shoulder. "I hate it here, Arjuna. I hate these people. I want to go home."
Cool wind touched brushed her skin as the light and noise of the tavern faded. Arjuna said, "Soon."
Kaiya tried to think, and realized why she couldn't. "Put me down. I gotta go throw up."
This she took care of near the village's treeline, and to her inebriated astonishment, Arjuna not only held her hair back from her face with gentle hands, but handed her a wooden cup of sweet water from the village well to wash out her mouth and rehydrate her.
It was like being with one of her friends. Her poor friends, all dead. Tsubaki, Gretel and Zanzi, and Roman, too. They'd made her laugh, accepted her quirks, understood a little more than most about where she came from. They gave her hugs whenever she needed them, too.
Arjuna probably didn't want to be her friend. Still, it didn't hurt to ask.
"Hey, Arjuna," Kaiya said, climbing to her feet and being careful to enunciate her words so she didn't seem too drunk. "Gimme a hug."
The tall Archer looked down at her a long moment, and then patted her on the head, his fingers combing lightly through her hair.
Kaiya's mouth pushed out in a pout. She remembered hazily when he'd swept her up in his arms earlier to bring her out of the bar the second time. That had been like a hug, but not enough.
"Come on. A hug. You know, a hug?" She waved her arms at him. "Is it because I'm smelly? I mean, I don't smell anything. I mean… anything. I think my nose is numb. But maybe I'm smelly?"
A faint, almost gentle smile flickered across his face, like a kind big brother denying a childish sibling. "You're drunk, Master. Be content with a head pat."
But Kaiya wasn't. "Hrmph. Ritsuka's surrounded by Servants who hug her. But I get you. You. Or maybe you get me." She thought for a moment. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Bet you'd rather go back to hugging Ritsuka." That was when she recalled that Ritsuka was close to Karna, Arjuna's mythological rival.
Too late, too late. Arjuna's smile had been replaced by a tight, forbidding slash, and lightning seemed to flash in his eyes. "I never touched Ritsuka."
For a moment they stared at each other, shock chasing away Kaiya's drunken affability. She'd been sure Arjuna hadn't remembered his previous summoning.
His eyes widened and then narrowed as they met her own. His mask had slipped, and they both knew it. The set of his shoulders changed, reminding her of a panther on the verge of leaping on prey.
The whole point of alcohol was that it made her reckless and brave and, okay, stupid. He said he hadn't ever touched Ritsuka but he'd picked Kaiya up, held her hair back, patted her head. Her heart pounded. How dangerous was Arjuna to his Master? She could find out…
Very firmly, she said, "Then give me a hug."
As she'd half-intended, a red light flashed from her left hand as one of the three Command Spells inscribed there was temporarily consumed. As soon as it did, she felt dirty and ashamed. God. Nobody should be Commanded to touch her, especially not to indulge her twisted coping mechanisms.
But he did. His posture tightened as the Command Spell hit him. Slowly he raised one hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. He'd removed his gloves, she realized, feeling almost sick with fascinated dread. When had he done that?
Then his hand in her hair twisted sharply, stinging her scalp, and he was pressing her face to his chest as his other arm encircled her torso. Although she couldn't smell anything else, she could, it turned out, smell him, at least at this range. His spicy scent surrounded her, as did his warmth and strength.
And it was the least comforting hug she'd ever had. His fingers traced her spine as his nose brushed through her hair, and the sharpness of his nails made her think of his white knife. She spent the entire embrace expecting that knife in the back, and she wouldn't even have blamed him. It was terrifying, exhilarating, and combined with his scent to leave her more than a little turned on.
When he finally released her, his face was once again cold and blank. She felt so relieved to be alive that she swayed and her knees buckled. He caught her elbow and brought her back to her feet. His fingers bit into her skin, and she loved it. The bright floating feeling bubbled through her, making everything beautiful, exacerbated by the lingering effects of alcohol.
"I've found an empty cottage you can sleep in. Would you like more water before we go there?" His eyes narrowed as she grinned up at him. "What are you laughing at?"
She put her fingers to her mouth, feeling the way it curved. "Nothing! Was that really a hug?"
His fingers tightened further and he gave her a little shake. She'd have bruises as soon as he released her, and she'd be cursing herself later. But right now they reminded her she was alive, and that was wonderful.
"If it wasn't what you had in mind, you have only yourself to blame. Do you want more water, Master?"
Only myself to blame. This struck her as so true that it punctured a black hole in the floating mood. All the effervescent bubbles of light in her mind popped and she plummeted back into the wastes of despair and guilt and shame. "You're right. You're so right. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I'm so awful. I just wanted to see… to see how scary you were."
He released her elbow and scooped her off her feet, boosting her up to his eye level. His expression was dark and unfriendly. "It's very convenient that you're so drunk you can't even walk straight, Master. If you're lucky, you won't remember any of this tomorrow morning." Then he began to move off toward one of the cottages.
Kaiya tried to process this. But all she could manage was, "Does that mean no more water?"
He didn't bother answering her, and she slumped against his shoulder until he stepped through an open cottage door and put her on her feet again in front of a primitive bed. He gave her a shove toward it. She could smell blood from somewhere: not the deep, cloying scent that settled in a room where violent death had happened, but the brighter tang that predators could read in the wind.
"Where—?" she began, turning back toward Arjuna. But the Archer had vanished.
Then his voice came from the darkness near the open door. "Go to sleep, Master. I'll fetch you when it's time to rayshift back."
Slowly, Kaiya sat down on the straw pallet, her thoughts increasingly befuddled. Something about the smell of blood struck her as strange. Something she ought to think about. But instead she curled up on her side, closed her eyes and let the world slip away.
She awoke to a gray light streaming through the open door and brightening the thatch, and remembered everything. Somebody had removed her shoes, and a white cloak lined with blue satin had been draped over her. It smelled like Arjuna, but it was Robin Hood who woke her.
"Hey," said Robin gently. "Come on, wake up, Kaiya. Here's some water for you." He put a waterskin in her hand as she sat up and blinked blearily at him. Her head ached and her mouth felt like Fou had nested in it. Her throat was so dry that talking was impossible, so she guzzled half the water skin, spilling some of it down her chin.
"What…?" she finally asked, meeting Robin's grave gaze as she wiped her mouth. "Where's Arjuna?"
His mouth twisting wryly, Robin said, "Not quite sure. But we'll be heading back soon. There's not much more we can do here."
Something about the way he said it made a chill run down Kaiya's spine. "What happened? Did we win the drinking contest?"
"Oh yes. Martha, you know. " Robin scratched his cheek. "But, ah, while Ritsuka and the others were having fun in the tavern, something slaughtered everyone else in the village. The people who were in the tavern are fine, but, ah… with such a small population now the Singularity's going to wrap itself up in a matter of days instead of years now." He shrugged, as if what he described was unfortunate, but not worth thinking about further. It was a very typical Servant attitude toward casualties.
Kaiya lowered her gaze, rubbing her head. She didn't know how she felt about the news. Nothing about the brutish werewolves she'd met had struck her as worth mourning, but just hearing about a massacre brought up painful memories of the aftermath of Lev Lainur's betrayal.
No. Something was wrong. Despite her pounding head, she tried to figure out what it was. "But weren't you on watch outside?"
"Yeah, I was. It was a dark night, though. No moon." Robin Hood rose from his crouch. "How about we—"
"How were they killed?" demanded Kaiya, crumpling Arjuna's cloak in her lap.
Robin rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Why make a fuss now? It's too late for them." Something hard glittered in his eyes for a moment and he added, "Probably whatever did it had a good reason."
She frowned up at him, waiting for a real answer. After a moment, Robin swore softly, shoved his orange hair away from his face and crouched down again. "Slit throats. Except for five, who had something driven through their eyes." He reached out to touch her left hand as it twisted in Arjuna's cloak, stroking along the faded Command Seal she'd used the night before. "Ritsuka always says she has to report to da Vinci on how these get used. Do you have a story ready for her?"
Kaiya blinked at the question, and then shame swept over her as she remembered. "I made Arjuna hug me."
Robin whistled long and low. "Wow. That's uh… well, damn. I guess you're probably telling the truth." His gaze went far away. "I wonder… nah. Never mind."
From the open door, Arjuna said, "I hope you're not disturbing my Master with strange stories, poacher."
Rising to his feet again, Robin said, "Me? Nah. I never tell strange stories. Too much trouble. Get her over to the tavern soon, eh? Ritsuka wants to get back before something tries to take away that crystallized lore she's hugging."
Arjuna stepped inside to let Robin Hood stroll past him, and then came over to where Kaiya still sat on the bed. He held out an elegant gloved hand, ready to help her rise. "Master."
Once again Kaiya felt like she had at the Summoning Circle, except this time her outside self properly reflected her inside self: straw in her tangled hair, reeking of beer and a hint of vomit (oh God, had she really made Arjuna wrap her in his arms and press her against his chest?), with bloodshot, hollow eyes while her clothes were rumpled and damp with sweat. She was completely graceless compared to Arjuna. He would never see her as anything other than a cowering, cringing weakling.
She put his crumpled cloak in his outstretched hand and slid herself off the bed to stand. And then the whole point of the gesture disappeared as her shaky legs made her stumble. The cottage spun around her and her stomach churned unpleasantly. Then Arjuna took her elbow where he'd bruised her before and her breath hissed audibly between her teeth. The ache in her arm seemed to pound in time with the ache in her head.
"Ow," she said helplessly as she tried to tug her arm away and avoid falling onto him at the same time. "That hurts. Please…"
His fingers loosened and then slid up her arm, the backs of his knuckles brushing against the side of her breast through her top. The brief contact combined with his scent made her suddenly extremely aware of his physicality above and beyond his personal elegance.
"You had a bad night last night," he said in a gentle voice. It was similar to how he'd spoken to her after she'd been ill. Similar, but not the same. This was the mask speaking, not the man underneath. She could see it in his cold eyes.
If you're lucky, you won't remember any of this tomorrow morning.
Arjuna's comment (threat) from the night before bobbed to the surface. She did remember, but until she'd decided what she wanted to do, she'd pretend otherwise. "I didn't do anything too bad, did I?"
He paused, and then said, "No. Nothing too bad. Ready to go home, Master?"
Kaiya sighed. "Yes. Am I looking forward to the debriefing? No. Not at all. Let's go."
And hey, the advantage of being too hungover to walk straight was that Arjuna couldn't get away with walking behind her like a retainer. Instead he walked beside her, letting her clutch his arm.
Although Kaiya saw no bodies on her short journey, the village had become a ghost town compared to the day before. It was a micro-Singularity, a place that shouldn't have existed. All those that lived there would have eventually merged back with whatever source they'd spawned from, whether it was human, magical creature, or something stranger. The lives lost here weren't quite real, despite Ritsuka's insistence on treating them as if they were.
And thinking about how she'd seen the village yesterday, Kaiya though she understood. It hadn't been a good place (her skin crawled when she remembered how the residents had looked at her when she arrived) but it had been a community. How Ritsuka interacted with it had been a form of validation of her ideals, shaped and honed through the long Grand Order. Kaiya couldn't have done the same, but that, likewise, was more about her than the village itself.
At the mostly empty tavern, Ritsuka turned away from speaking to Robin and hurried over to Kaiya.
"Are you all right?" Ritsuka blurted, as Robin Hood facepalmed behind her. "Robin told me I accidentally made things very hard for you last night. Some mentor I am!"
Arjuna's bicep flexed under Kaiya's fingers as she said, "Ritsuka. I'm fine." Sardonically she added, "I'm not defenseless. If anything bad happens to me, you can pretty much always trust that I asked for it."
Ritsuka gave her a curious look. "I don't think that's true. But I'm glad you're not hurt. We're getting the Rayshift set up now." With a quick smile, she bounded off to talk to Martha and Liz.
Kaiya glanced up at Arjuna and saw how his eyes followed Ritsuka. She realized that Ritsuka had very purposefully avoided looking at or acknowledging the Archer. She hadn't mentioned the massacre either, even though Kaiya was pretty sure it would have affected her strongly. Kaiya wondered what Arjuna would have said if she had.
Mash's hologram flickered to life. "All right, everybody! Time to come home!"
The general debriefing with Holmes and da Vinci went all right. They let Kaiya sit in the corner of the conference room nursing a cup of coffee as Ritsuka gossiped (there was really no other word for it) about the mission with da Vinci.
Nightingale the Berserker nurse had descended on Kaiya as soon as she emerged from the Rayshift chamber and forced her to ingest some foul concoction that had almost immediately cured her hangover. At least, it made her headache vanish and steadied her limbs. There were other after-effects of the night before that none of Nightingale's medicines could touch, though.
Though Robin Hood and Nursery Rhyme joined the debriefing, Arjuna had escorted her to the conference room and then, after politely asking her permission, withdrawn. And yet even without him physically present, he dominated Kaiya's thoughts. She kept feeling his arms around her in that terrifying, awkward hug, and hearing his whisper about how if she was lucky she'd forget.
"What do you know about what happened at the end, Kaiya?" said da Vinci, and Kaiya startled so badly that tepid coffee sloshed over her hand.
She'd smelled blood in the cottage the night before. "I was asleep, I think? And, uh, pretty drunk before that." She gave a shrug that translated into a silent sorry.
Da Vinci gave her a thoughtful look. "Yes, that micro-Singularity was an unfortunate choice for training you."
Holmes laughed. "Even I couldn't have guessed that, though." His laugh vanished and his eyes sharpened. "But Miss Hisau… tell me how your relationship with your Servant has been developing."
Kaiya gave Holmes a hostile look. He was the sort of person she normally quite liked, except when he turned that keen intellect of his directly on her. He always seemed present and focused on his surroundings in a way that da Vinci rarely managed. "Why don't you tell me, sir?"
But all he did was smile and put his finger to his lips.
Da Vinci, watching the exchange, announced, "Everybody else, you can go. Kaiya, stay a moment."
The Servants left immediately, but Ritsuka protested, "Even me? I want to—"
Kaiya interrupted to ask, "How well did you get along with Arjuna before, Ritsuka?"
Ritsuka's face changed and a rare look of furtive guilt passed through her eyes. "Uh. He wanted me to stay away from him, and I tried to respect that. But Karna thought—" She stopped as if something occurred to her, and then shook her head. "You know what? I should go check in on… on everybody. Make sure nobody's causing any trouble."
"Good idea," said da Vinci briskly. Once the door had closed behind Ritsuka, she turned her attention back to Kaiya, who felt like she was once again sitting in a school principal's office waiting for her mother to show up and rescue her.
"Kaiya, would you tell us if you were having trouble with your Servant?"
"…Probably not, Acting Director." Kaiya had noticed the hypothetical phrasing. It made her answer honestly, just to see where da Vinci would go next.
Da Vinci sighed. "I didn't think so. That's your choice, and a choice I trusted you with when I decided to promote you. However…" The gaze she swept over Kaiya was already distant with unimaginable calculations. "If you won't seek out the help or advice of others, we cannot help you manage your Servant. He is your tool. What he does is your responsibility. And with such a powerful and unpredictable Servant, you must think carefully about everything you say to him. You cannot be casual with him. Do you understand?"
Kaiya didn't answer. She felt like she was being asked to turn herself inside out. The only world she understood was one where she was the one reaching for connection the way a seedling reached for the sun. To hold herself apart, to demand he walk behind her, to push him away… she could never do it. Not even if he also desired it.
She thought bitterly again of how Ritsuka was surrounded by Servants eager to hug her, talk to her, play with her. She'd bet good money that da Vinci had never told the younger Master to not be casual with her Servants. She'd seen just how playful da Vinci could be herself.
I bet she never used a Command Spell to get a hug, either,noted the voice of honesty inside. Kaiya winced and briefly wished she were dead. da Vinci was probably right. Too much close association with her would drive any Servant dangerously mad. Maybe it had already happened. Maybe… no. She'd think about that later.
As her gaze flew around the room, she realized Holmes was still gently smiling at her. Once again, he brought his finger to his lips, and then slowly winked. Kaiya had no idea what he meant, except that the context suggested he didn't quite agree with what da Vinci was saying.
"Kaiya?" asked da Vinci. "You can also change your mind. We want to keep you with us. Don't be stupid, all right?"
"Hah hah," said Kaiya. "Yeah. Sure. Do you need anything else from me? If not, I would really like a shower."
With a sigh, da Vinci leaned back in her chair, waving her hand. Kaiya didn't wait for anything else, almost knocking over her chair in her haste to escape.
Arjuna didn't appear as she jogged down the Chaldea corridors to her quarters, and she wondered if he was off picking a fight with Karna as Ritsuka had so clearly feared. But after carefully considering da Vinci's lecture on responsibility, Kaiya concluded that her current priority was still that shower.
Soon she stood under steaming water, letting the spray wash away soap and sweat and scum from the mission. The hot water beat against her skin, making her flushed and lightheaded, but it had an invigorating effect on her mind. She could think just a little more clearly.
The massacre at the werewolf village. Robin Hood's evasive behavior. The smell of blood near the mysteriously empty cottage where she'd spent the night. It was Arjuna who had killed the werewolves, and almost everybody knew it. And nobody was saying a word. Why not? Because of her? Because it was her responsibility? She could believe that of da Vinci. But Robin? Ritsuka? She knew them. They were more likely to remain silent because they didn't want Arjuna hurting her.
To hell with that!
She scrubbed her hair violently, her fingernails digging into her scalp. Then she rinsed herself clean one more time and forced herself to end the shower, because some things couldn't be washed away.
After she stepped out of the shower, toweled off and pulled on her bathrobe, she stopped before the small vanity mirror. Her black hair stood out in spikes around her head, in a way that had occasionally almost made her mother smile. She scowled at her reflection and smoothed down her hair, squinting at the shadows under her dark eyes. Not great. As for everything else… She'd inherited her pointy chin from her mother, but while it made her mother look sharp and tough, it only ever made Kaiya look foxy, a description she'd always hated. Well, so be it. She wasn't winning any beauty contests. As long as she didn't look completely ridiculous (those spikes of hair) as she confronted Arjuna, she'd be content.
Nerving herself, she stomped out of the bathroom and then stopped, arrested by the sudden scent of breakfast. Honeyed bacon. Toast made from EMIYA's special cinnamon bread. The bright raspberry scent of Tamamo-cat's jam. The low, soft smell of eggs scrambled with cream cheese. So many luxuries they'd gone without during the Grand Order, when they had to ration out supplies and scavenge from Singularities.
On the one-person table near the door rested a tray from the cafeteria containing several covered plates, along with tableware, napkins and a tall glass of orange juice. Arjuna sat in the sole chair, his legs stretched out and his hands in his pockets.
When she stepped out of the bathroom, a dark smile curved his lips—a true smile, if not a kind one. He stood up and with a slight bow said, "I brought you breakfast, Master. If you'd like to dress before you dine, I can turn my back."
He was wearing his gloves again, Kaiya noticed. That solidified a resolve that the smell of bacon and toast had weakened, although she couldn't say why.
"Not yet," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I want to talk to you first."
"Better not, Master," he said softly. He lifted one of the plate covers and the gush of the warm scent of fried pork almost made Kaiya swoon.
Scowling, she joined Arjuna at the table and snatched up a piece of bacon, and then a piece of toast. His mouth curving politely again, the Archer gave her some space.
She didn't sit down, though. After a few swallows had tamed the raging beast in her belly, she shook her head again. "I still want to talk to you."
Arjuna lowered his gaze to the floor, tugging on the fingers of one glove. "All right. Let's talk." There was a purr under his words.
Kaiya took a deep breath, and then another one, and then drank some of the orange juice. It didn't drown out the voice of survival that told her to stop, to get out of this room, to run to da Vinci and cry in her lap, to beg for help or restraining bolts or anything. But the voice of survival had been trained by her mother, who would never accept this responsibility she'd taken on and who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might sacrifice herself for others.
Nobody, not her mother or Ritsuka or da Vince could ever understand that if Arjuna wanted to kill her, at least she'd feel that those floating bubbles of light before she died.
"You killed all the werewolves." Her voice, when she finally spoke, was flat.
Arjuna slowly finished tugging off the first glove, his eyes still down. Almost carelessly, he asked, "Why do you think that?"
"Because I've watched you. Because I remember everything from last night." She waited breathlessly for his reaction.
He started working on the other glove without glancing up at her. "You wanted to know how scary I was, so you compelled me to embrace you."
Kaiya flinched. "Yes. I admitted it then. I'm not going to deny it now. I know it was awful and—"
Arjuna finished pulling off his other glove and cut her off as if he didn't hear her. "Normally, I'd kill a Master who watched me as closely as you do, especially one who can't keep their thoughts to themselves." He finally glanced up and met her eyes. His own had a demon in them, one that pinned Kaiya in place. "But your stunt with the Command Seal has suggested a… different course of action. I'm willing to make a deal with you, my little Master."
The door was behind Kaiya. All she had to do was fling it open and run. She had two Command Seals on her left hand still. Taking those into account, she could probably escape, at least until she found one of Ritsuka's Servants to hide behind.
Instead she swallowed hard and said, "What kind of deal?"
He smiled, the demon completely revealed. "A very simple one. I will serve you absolutely on the battlefield, and under the eyes of others. But when you are alone, you are mine, to do with as I please." He waved one long finger. "Be careful, master. If you refuse this deal, I'll go back to my original plan. You'll have to use those seals to destroy me before I destroy you."
Kaiya scowled. "That's revolting. I won't be your dog." She humiliated herself plenty. Doing it to prevent her Servant from killing her—well, she'd rather go out quickly on bubbles of light. After all, that was, in a way, why she'd signed up for this gig.
Arjuna chuckled. "No, my light. You're going to be the lover of this hateful creature you've found. You will be subject to his… indiscreet tastes and twisted passions."
Lover…? But she was damned one way or another, so she pushed. "You mean your indiscreet tastes and twisted passions?"
A look of rage and hatred wiped away his smile. "Agree quickly, Master, or ready your seals."
For once the voice of survival and her main ego were in agreement, if only for the short term. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"
The look of hatred intensified on his face. "So fearless, Master. If you'd had the sense to be afraid, I might have remembered I was born to be a hero. But never mind that now." His final words were spoken in a guttural snarl, and then he surged forward.
Kaiya only had time to raise her left hand protectively. Then he caught it and wrenched it painfully behind her back as he spun her and pressed her to the wall. His thigh shoved between her legs as his long-fingered hand caught the side of her head, squeezing with vise-like strength.
"Mine, Master," he whispered. "We're alone, and right now you're mine,"
Kaiya was breathing hard, and not just from the fear, pain and adrenaline that danced through her. The bubbles of light teased at the back of her mind, giving her a taste of the wild joy of a fight without taking over her mind. Arjuna's thigh between her legs provided a rough pressure on her core that would have made her squirm for more if he wasn't holding her so firmly.
He was a monster. She'd suspected it and now she knew. Ripples of pain throbbed through the arm he'd wrenched behind her back. His hand on her head felt like he could crack it open by squeezing a little more. And she desperately craved the touch of his monster's hands across all her most sensitive parts.
As if in answer to her twisted longing, he released her arm and slid his hand around to the opening of her bathrobe. His hand was cool against her still-overheated skin as he ran his fingers over a nipple and then kneaded first one breast and then the other. The sensation elicited an unconscious gasp from her as her nerves sang under his touch. His touch was a sharp contrast to the last male hand that had touched her breasts: sweaty, fumbling, belonging to the drunken operator of one of Chaldea's supply pilots after the company holiday party. She didn't even remember his name now.
"Bountifully endowed, given how scrawny you are," Arjuna murmured, and then bit her ear. His other hand released her head and went to her bathrobe's tie, pulling it open. He tugged her robe off her shoulders until it was pooled at her feet and she was naked before him.
She scarcely noticed, all her attention focused on the way his hand moved at her breasts. The slightest brush of his thumb across her hard nipple sent lightning down to her groin, while the casual kneading made her want to press herself into his hand. When he instead twisted hard, she bit her upper lip in response, aching to put her mouth on him somewhere and use her tongue and teeth on him as he used his fingers.
Then the fingers of his other hand slipped between her folds and she moaned at the pressure of his fingers tracing the extent of her slickness. He whispered, "So wet already. You're as twisted as I am, being this wet for how I'm going to profane you."
He used his own thigh to force her legs farther apart and a moment later a burning heat pressed across her core. Slowly he slid back and forth and Kaiya bit her lip so hard she tasted blood to avoid screaming with frustrated desire. Arjuna's teeth grazed the back of her neck and his hand at her breasts continued its wicked work.
"But first, tell me how much I disgust you," he told her. "I heard it in your voice before. Make me hate you more."
"You're a monster," Kaiya gasped out. "Oh, god please don't stop… you're a liar, the legends about you are all wrong—ahh!"
As she spoke, Arjuna changed his angle and shoved himself inside her, penetrating her deeply.
The bubbles of joy completely suffused Kaiya. For long minutes all she was aware of was the clothed form of Arjuna moving against her back as each of his thrusts reached a spot inside her that seemed like the source of the joy. Her knees trembled and her toes curled as he kept going, going, slamming his flesh into hers, making her mewl helplessly. She couldn't take it. It was too much. The rising waves of pleasure crashed through her, carrying away the remnants of her self-awareness.
When she came to herself again, Arjuna had laid her across the bed on her back and his dark, curly head was bent over her breasts. He had one of her nipples in his mouth, his tongue and teeth sending jolts down her spine. Once again desire curled through her belly, despite the languorousness making her limbs tremble. But the bubbles of joy had faded away and she felt dark and angry again.
She inhaled deeply and Arjuna lifted his head, his unholy smile more than a little self-satisfied. She didn't like it. But he gave her only a brief glance before turning his attention to other breast.
As her breathing once again became panting, she searched wildly for something she could do to show him that, despite coming apart at his rough treatment, she wasn't his. He'd removed his own clothing and so, squirming against his mouth, she reached out and dragged her fingernails hard across his back.
He lifted his head again and this time his expression was unfriendly. Feeling a little smug herself, Kaiya said, "Is this what you wanted to do to Ritsuka?"
Hate flickered across his face. He sat up and his fingernails traced down her cheek. "We're both disgusting, aren't we, Master? You just as much as me, with your little jealousy."
"I've got nothing to be jealous of—" Kaiya's protest was instinctive, and she closed her mouth as he laughed angrily.
"Let me taste those lying lips." He stretched out on top of her and kissed her cruelly, his tongue reaching deep into her mouth and dominating her own. His fingers pulled her hair hard, and then harder as he broke the kiss and dragged her onto her stomach. The pain made her eyes tear up and brought forth another trickle of the bubbles of light.
She was as bad as him. She deserved this. And he owed it to her after all the unwanted protecting he'd been doing. As he once again thrust himself into her, dragging his fingernails up her thighs and leaving inflamed scratches behind, she thought, Yes. Yes. Yes. When he bit her shoulder so hard she wailed, the bubbles of light suffused her and she became nothing but a beast of lust and pain, rising to an endless sky on currents of pleasure and satisfaction.
Yes. This. This was what she needed. And Arjuna, her Servant, so determined to serve, would provide.
Endnote:
This chapter was a challenge to write. Portraying smut and dark, violent smut at that is new for me. But it felt like the only way for the relationship between these characters to start.
Next time... well, I won't lie. There's going to be more sex.
In case you've wondered, yes, this is the same Nightingale from my other Chaldea fic, The Star and the Darkness, and it's happening relatively concurrently. If you've no idea what I'm talking about, and you'd like to read a somewhat sweeter take on a broken romance, check it out.