Hey guys! I'm so sorry for taking longer to update but these past two weeks have been really busy and I just haven't had the time to write like I usually do. I hope you like this chapter, please let me know what you think! The next chapter, we're stepping back into the WS plot line so get ready! :) Thank you for being so patient and leaving me such kind reviews! I love reading them! Thank you and enjoy! :D
Steve readjusted his tie for the fifteenth time and sighed. He wore an all black suit with a matching tie. He'd been trying to prepare himself all morning. Prepare for the sight, the feelings, the press. He had a feeling that they might be there but he hoped not. Margret and her family didn't deserve cameras and questions in their faces today. No one needed that. Luckily, Steve hadn't seen any news about Peggy's funeral. There had been a brief announcement of her death but not her funeral. Steve fixed his hair, straightened his suit, and walked out of his room.
"What do you think?" Steve asked, walking into the kitchen. Charlie stood at the sink, washing the dishes from their breakfast. She had woken earlier than him and started cooking an omelet. The smell had helped Steve get out of bed and to start moving. They hadn't talked much over breakfast. Charlie understood that it wasn't going to be an easy day and there really were no words of comfort. This was a day of grief and closure. At least, Steve hoped it brought some closure. Charlie looked him up and down, smiled slightly.
"You look good," Charlie said. Steve pulled on his jacket again, sighed, and looked at the time. Time to go.
"Steve," Charlie called as he was walking out the door.
"Yeah?" Steve answered, turning. Charlie stood behind him, a conflicted look on her face. It was as if she wanted to say something but knew there were no words, nothing that would comfort him. Charlie looked into Steve's face and wrapped her arms around him. Steve returned the embrace, realizing how much he needed it. He didn't want to go today, it was too soon. But Charlie gave him the strength he needed. Somehow, through her hug she conveyed strength and support. Steve held her close and then took a step back. Charlie straightened his tie, patted his chest, and handed him the flowers he'd bought. They were gladiolus' and Steve thought of Peggy when he saw the deep red color. No words were said as he left. And that was just fine with Steve. He didn't think he would accept any words of comfort at the moment anyway. The drive to the cemetery seemed too short and the day too hot for a funeral. Steve took a deep breath as he stepped off his bike and took his helmet off. The sky was blue, the air warm and sweet. Steve's mouth quirked into a smile at the thought that Peggy would love this day.
"Steve," he turned towards Margret's voice. She wore a black suit with a black flower pen holding her hair back. In a flash of recognition, Steve could see Peggy in Margret's face. He wasn't sure if it was the day or her facial structure but he it was like Peggy was standing in front of him for a moment.
"Margret," Steve forced himself to speak. She smiled weakly, sadly and enveloped him in a hug. Steve embraced her but noticed that it wasn't the same as when Charlie hugged him. There was a distinct difference that Steve couldn't pinpoint. Maybe it was that he felt comforted after Charlie hugged him whereas with Margret, he felt guarded? Steve shook himself from his thoughts and focused on the family in front of him. Robert and Samantha stood behind their mother, Samantha sniffling and Robert pulling at his suit.
"Hey guys," Steve greeted. Both children waved shyly.
"Come on, I'll introduce you to the rest of the family," Margret pointed towards a group of people dressed in black. Steve took a deep breath and nodded. He could feel himself detaching from the situation. This wasn't a place for his emotions but for his presence. Steve glided through introduction after introduction. He was met with wide eyes and a couple of gaping mouths. He shook hands, answered questions, but didn't smile. Steve could hide his emotions but he could not force a smile.
The ceremony began shortly after the introductions. It was beautiful. Flowers of all different colors were arranged on her coffin. They had decided for a closed casket ceremony which Steve thought was about the most he could handle. He wouldn't have been able to hold back if he'd seen her lying there. The preacher's voice was striking yet had a lilting tone to it. The words were perfectly presented with just the right emotion. Steve listened and let the words sink in. Peggy had lived a long, happy life. She had married, had kids, had grandkids, and, Steve found out, had some great grandkids. Steve closed his eyes and let himself feel, just for a moment.
There was sadness, emptiness, guilt, but there was also a dash of happiness. Steve was happy that Peggy had been able to marry and have children. He was happy that she had accomplished so much, founded S.H.I.E.L.D., and raised good children. He was happy that she had lived a full life. Steve opened his eyes and clung to the part of him that was happy. He could wallow and grieve for eternity, but he chose to dwell on Peggy's happy life instead. Just as he had been for her, Peggy was now in inspiration to Steve, the voice in the back of his head that kept him going. I won't forget you Peggy, but I won't cling to you either, Steve thought, restating his promise to her. He would move on just as she had, he could live a full life.
Once the preacher announced that flowers could be placed and last farewells given, Steve stepped forward after Peggy's family and laid the red gladiolus' on the silver coffin. Steve didn't trust himself to speak so instead he thought and prayed, Well-done Peggy. Lord, protect her as she comes home. Steve stepped back and held back his tears. A small hand suddenly gripped his hand and Steve looked down. Samantha's eyes were full of unshed tears and she was trembling slightly as she looked at her grandmother's coffin. Steve gripped her hand, squeezing slightly to let her know he was there. Samantha sniffled and squeezed back. As the coffin was lowered into the ground, Steve heard the held back tears, barely contained sorrow, and love towards Peggy pour forth. A peace settled over Steve knowing that not only had Peggy lived a long, full life, but that she was loved dearly. Knowing that she was going to a better place helped exponentially too. Steve knew Peggy was in good hands.
Steve waited with Margret as family and friends slowly trickled away. Robert held his mother's hand tightly and Samantha clung to Steve's hand. He didn't know how long it was until Margret looked up at him and a silent conversation passed between them. Margret didn't want to go to the reception, couldn't go to the reception. Robert looked up at Steve and he saw the same plea in the boy's eyes. Steve finally put it together, hitting himself for not seeing it sooner. Margret was holding the reception in her apartment, the apartment that had been Peggy's before she went to the home. Margret and the kids couldn't go back home because it reminded them of Peggy.
"Why don't you guys come to my apartment? I know my friend is baking something delicious right now," Steve suggested. Robert looked hopefully at his mother and Samantha glanced up. Peggy sent him a glance of silent gratitude and nodded.
"Why don't you tell your family and you can follow me," Steve directed. It was odd for him to be giving someone else directions now. For the past two days, Steve had needed the direction. Someone needs you, a voice said. That changes things, always has. Robert slipped his hand into Steve's and they watched Margret talk to her siblings. There were a few confused glances but eventually nods of encouragement, embraces of strength. Margret called to her kids and they ran to her, getting into the car. Steve put his helmet on and hopped on his bike. He led Margret and her family to his apartment, only realizing he should have warned Charlie as he walked through the door.
"Charlie? I hope you don't mind but I brought a few people with me. Do you think you can whip something up for them?" Steve called as he opened his door. He was met with the warm aroma of fresh baked bread, chicken, and some type of stir-fry. Charlie poked her head out of the kitchen and blinked upon seeing the two kids and Margret. Her surprise quickly dimmed and a smile spread across her face.
"The more the merrier," Charlie responded. Steve welcomed the family inside and guided them to the kitchen table. They all took a seat, Margret looking between Steve and Charlie.
"Margret, this is my friend Charlie. Charlie this is Margret, Robert, and Samantha. Peggy's daughter and grandkids," Steve introduced.
"It's nice to meet you!" Charlie responded warmly. She shook each of their hands, the children responding hesitantly.
"I'm making some chicken and stir-fry if you guys would like. I can also whip up some hot chocolate if it's okay with your mom?" Charlie looked to Margret. She nodded numbly, her eyes still flitting curiously between him and Charlie. Robert and Samantha brightened slightly at the prospect of chocolate and Charlie smiled.
"How did you guys meet?" Margret asked. Her voice was weary but her eyes were curious.
"I went on a road trip recently and my bike broke down near Charlie's diner. She and her family let me stay with them while I fixed it and we became friends. She came down when she heard the news," Steve explained. Margret nodded, her expression dimming. They sat in relative silence, no one knowing what to say. Steve gazed at Margret and the kids sadly, measuring their expressions. Margret looked exhausted and sorrowful, Robert miserable, and Samantha sniffling. Steve didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. He was just as miserable as they were and there weren't any words of comfort.
"Steve, do you want to get some mugs down?" Charlie asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah," Steve stood up. He got down several mugs and helped Charlie serve the hot chocolate. Robert and Samantha chorused, "thank you" and Margret smiled proudly.
"Oh Steve, let me give this to you before I forget," Margret dug in the large bag she'd brought with her. What she took out of the bag made Steve's heart clench painfully.
"She would have wanted you to have this," Margret said in a small voice. She slid the record across the table and Steve felt his eyes tear up. Kitty Kallen and Harry James stared up at him, the words "It's Been a Long, Long Time" piercing his heart. The record he'd danced to with Peggy. Their song. Steve blinked back the tears and cleared his throat.
"Thank you Margret. This…This means a lot," Steve replied thickly. Margret nodded and wiped a tear away. Steve stared at the record, stroking the lettering. Peggy wouldn't want us to be sad, Steve thought. But what can I do? How do you be happy when someone you loved is gone? Remember her.
"You know, I first met Peggy when I joined the army," Steve started. He wasn't exactly sure if it was the right thing to do but he felt like it was needed. He couldn't bring Peggy back but they could remember her.
"I was standing in this line and, this was before I turned into a super soldier, so I was the shortest and skinniest."
"You were short?" Robert asked.
"Yeah. I was even shorter than Charlie over there," Steve chuckled. Robert and Samantha's eyes were huge, fixed on Steve.
"So we're standing in this line, waiting for our commanding officer and who comes around the corner but you're grandmother. I knew her then as Agent Carter but her nickname was Peggy. Now, back in my time it was rare to find a woman in the army, even more rare to find them as an officer."
"Really?" Samantha asked. Steve nodded solemnly. He had never agreed with others on their view of women. Steve had seen how capable women were and he didn't see a reason for them to be placed in a box.
"Yep but your grandmother was one of a kind. She came around the corner and all the guys were shocked. But there was this one guy who was extremely disrespectful and tried to make fun of Peggy. Oh boy did he mess with the wrong woman. Your grandmother asks the man to step forward and then she slugs him. His nose was bleeding but it wasn't as hurt as his pride," Steve chuckled.
"Grandma punched someone?"
"That's awesome!"
Margret cracked a smile at the story and her children's reactions. Steve smiled, reminiscing at the memory. He vividly remembered the fierce defiance that Peggy had worn that day. Her brown hair was perfectly curled, as was her fist. Peggy had never taken any disrespect from anyone. It was one of the many things Steve admired about Peggy.
"What else did Grandma do?" Samantha asked. Her eyes were wide and inquisitive, greedy for any information. Steve thought back and began to recount his memories of Peggy. For the next few hours, story after story was told about Peggy. Steve shared a lot but Margret chimed in after awhile. He was able to learn about Peggy's life outside of the army and about her family. It filled a small part of the emptiness that Steve had been feeling. He was grateful for the small glimpse into the years he'd lost with Peggy.
Charlie was warm and comforting the entire time. She served them all some food and helped prompt conversation when it started to wane. One of the only reasons he was able to tell so many stories was because Charlie was there, her steadying presence an anchor for him. There had only been one time when Charlie left the kitchen to answer a phone call.
"She's nice," Margret had commented.
"Yeah, she's been a great friend," Steve agreed. He couldn't begin to describe how grateful he was to Charlie for coming to help him. Margret smiled slightly and nodded, an odd look in her eyes. Steve was about to ask about it but Charlie came back in and Robert asked for another story. Charlie had an uncertain look to her eyes but it left quickly. Steve would have to ask about it later, he had a feeling he knew what it was about. After the food had been served, stories told, and cups emptied, Margret stood up from the table and smiled at Steve.
"Steve, thank you so much for letting us come by. This helped a lot," Margret gave Steve a hug.
"Your welcome. This helped me a lot too. Thank you for moving the funeral up and for the record. It means a lot Margret," Steve gave her one last squeeze and then turned to the kids.
"You look after your mom alright?"
"Yes sir!"
"We will."
Margret said goodbye to Charlie, everyone waved one last time, and then the door closed. Steve sighed, hands in his pockets. It was over. The funeral, the slightly unplanned reception. Steve still felt empty and hollow but just a little less so. He had more memories now to remember Peggy by and he had a feeling he would be in touch with Margret and the kids.
"They were really sweet," Charlie said, standing next to him.
"Yeah, they're nice. It's been both painful and healing to be around them. Today was good. Hard but good," Steve sighed. He turned to Charlie and her soft smile.
"Thank you for everything. I can't even begin-"
"There's no need Steve. I'm here for you," Charlie said sincerely, touching Steve's arm lightly.
"Well thank you all the same," Steve grabbed Charlie into a hug. He didn't usually initiate contact, especially between women, but Charlie was different. And it was almost like he needed to hug Charlie. He just didn't know it until she was in his arms. Charlie hugged him back, letting him know that she was there, truly there for him. Steve liked the way it felt to hug Charlie. It's probably because of today, he thought. Steve pulled back and took a deep breath.
"When do you need to head back? That phone call was from Nathan and Betty right?" Steve asked.
"So you saw that didn't you?" Charlie sighed, "Yeah, they need help back at the diner. I should probably leave in the morning. Will you be alright?" Steve ran his hand through his hair, honestly thinking.
"Yeah, I think I will be. I mean, not great, but manageable. Today helped a lot more than I thought it would. Plus, I go back to work tomorrow so I have to be okay," Steve said. Charlie gave him a sympathetic glance but nodded.
"Well, for my last night here, how about I teach you how to make spaghetti sauce and then we watch a movie?" Charlie smiled.
"Sounds like a plan," Steve grinned back. He followed her back into the kitchen, savoring the time they had left. He would need these moments later.