A/N: Hello everyone. I'm sorry that this felll far outside my attempted weekly update schedule. Sirius didn't want to play nice and Real Life got a bit crazy with my work hours all over the place. I've been functioning on about 3 hours sleep a night for the past 2 weeks. Anyway, it's finally here. Many thanks to all who read and especially those who review.

mMch love! xx-Kitten

Limerence Laws

By Kittenshift17

CHAPTER SEVEN

Sirius Black wondered if it was actually possible to be this attracted to someone you loathed so much. It couldn't be healthy. The fucker had the most alluring voice on the planet and, much to Sirius's dismay, he knew how to use it. He hated him. Fuck, he hated him. He hated Snape more than almost anyone else on the planet.

Indeed, there were only two people he hated more. Voldemort, for killing James and Lily, and generally being a megalomanic bent on world domination. And Peter Pettigrew because the cowardly scumbag had pretended to be their friend for months – maybe even years – and the whole time he was playing for the opposition, wriggling around like the worthless rat he was and ruining their lives. Yeah, he hated Voldemort for casting the killing curses, but he hated Peter even more because if not for that cunt, James and Lily might have survived. He would get his revenge and he was wondering if a perk of this forced marriage with Snivellus might just let him finally get his hands on the fucker one more time.

"Right," Hermione muttered, obviously reeling as much as Sirius was himself thanks to Snape's dirty talk. She quivered in Sirius's grip before pulling out of his hold. "Well, on that note… I'm um… I'm going to go. Dress. I need a wedding dress. And… maybe a cold shower."

She crossed the stone floor of Snape's quarters muttering to herself as though they wouldn't hear her.

"If you're getting a dress, Hermione," Snivellus interrupted her before she could leave through the door back to the rest of the castle. It was obvious to Sirius that the bastard took perverse pleasure in using her first name for the way she blushed and shivered every time he said it. "Might I suggest a trip to London, and an exit through the Floo, rather than a trip back to Gryffindor Tower?"

Hermione stopped, rooted on the spot for a moment before she looked over at the hook-nosed git.

"I need my purse," she said as though it were explanation enough. She was obviously shaken up over their discussion of how they would consummate their marriage and more than a little aroused after Snape's display. Sirius didn't blame her.

He watched as she left the room without another word, the door clicking closed softly behind her. Snape swept away from him and off into a different room once she was gone. Sirius thought seriously about leaving – returning to Grimmauld Place to break up the domestic he didn't doubt Remus and Tonks would be having over the notion of their union. He bit his bottom lip, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing between the fireplace and the door to what he suspected must be a potions lab.

He should talk to the fucker, as much as he didn't want to. They were worse than chalk and cheese, or oil and water. He and Snape were more the fire and gasoline combination. Explosive, dangerous, and not to be allowed near one another. That wasn't going to stop the Ministry, it seemed, and so he figured it might be time to man up and sort a thing or two out with Snape if this was going to work.

And fuck it all, Sirius wanted it to work. He wanted to murder Snape, but if this bloody marriage would clear his name, set him free and get him a job at the school with his best mate where he could watch over his godson, he'd fucking do it. Hell, the idea that he'd get to shag Hermione was another unexpected perk, but he was trying not to focus on that too hard.

Cursing softly, Sirius made his way to the door of Snivellus's lab, taking a moment to scan the place with his eyes. It was neat, everything inside it properly stored, labelled and arranged for maximum efficiency. Not that Sirius was surprised; for all that he'd looked ratty and unclean during their shared time at school, Snape had never come across as the sloppy or messy type. Sirius wondered if the other man was aware of his presence.

He stood with his back to Sirius, his long-fingered, bony hands working diligently, preparing ingredients and prepping the workstation for his newest brewing project. Sirius was man enough to admit that if anyone's hands had ever seemed suited to an art-form such as potion making, it was Snape's.

"What are you going to put in it?" he asked quietly, noting that Snape didn't jump and was apparently aware of his presence despite Sirius's uninterrupted scrutiny.

"I'm hardly going to poison the witch, Black," Snape said, ever on the defensive. "As has been rightly pointed out, doing away with her would not guarantee that I would also be rid of you."

"If I'd thought you planned to poison her, I'd have hexed you in the back," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Try to curb your suspiciousness for a few minutes and explain the potion to me."

"Why?" Snape asked, pausing in his work to glance over his shoulder at Sirius where he'd propped his shoulder in the doorway. He raised one eyebrow, seeming guardedly curious.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "Might help knowing what's in it. Might help to discuss it. Me and Prongs always did our best work bouncing ideas of each other. Saying them out loud helps to eliminate the truly stupid ones."

Snape curled his lip, his eyes flashing with hatred and Sirius recognised his mistake immediately. He shouldn't have brought up Prongs. He might loathe Snape immensely himself, and have earned the man's hatred in return, but the enmity between Snape and James had always run even hotter than the dislike between Sirius and Severus.

"I am not the thick-headed excuse for a wizard you called a best friend, Black. I don't require the bouncing of ideas to know what is and is not a good decision."

"Doubt it," Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes, sensing the conversation was going to go to shit, just the way it always did.

"Why are you still here?" Snape demanded, turning toward him, his eyes narrowed hatefully. Sirius noticed that he had his wand clutched in his grip, ready to train it on him and hex him into oblivion.

"Maybe you missed it," Sirius sighed. "But you and I are supposed to be bloody married, Sni… Snape."

Snape narrowed his eyes, apparently sensing that there was more to what Sirius was saying though he'd yet to voice it.

"Much as I'll hex you if you tell her I said so, Hermione's right. You and I in any combination is a wretchedly dangerous equation and things would be much easier all around if we could at least try to settle some of our differences without bloodshed," Sirius said, watching Snape as the other wizard watched him.

"You believe it possible?" Snape asked archly.

Sirius sighed, pushing away from the doorframe and striding deeper into the lab, noting the way Snape's hackles all but rose at the invasion of his territory. Sirius catalogued the reaction, suspecting that though he wasn't a werewolf, Snape was as territorial as Moony over what was perceived his private places. And not the ones on his person. Sirius himself had never really experienced the urge to not let people into his space on a physical level and he'd never had a place he considered wholly his own that he was unwilling to share.

Moony, on the other hand, got funny about anyone going into his room. Even with Sirius, sometimes. Even when he'd been invited in, there were times when Sirius entered Remus's bedroom and found Remus tense and uncomfortable, wanting to drive him out of that space. Snape clearly felt that way about his lab and Sirius thought about making things easier for the git by complying to his unspoken suggestion to get the hell out, but damn it all, they had business to discuss and since the man was unlikely to leave the lab with a potion to brew, it would just have to take place here.

"Honestly, no, Snape. I don't think it's entirely possible for you and I to put our long and ugly history behind us. Attempts on the other's lives aside, however, there are a few things that we need to straighten out," Sirius said, moving over to the other side of the room where he'd spied a stool. He picked it up and carried it back to the brewing bench, setting it down on the far side of it and perching on it before staring at Snape searchingly as he went back to prepping ingredients, one eye on Sirius himself.

"What do you imagine we could possibly attempt to put behind us, Black?" Snape sneered. "Even setting aside the attempt to murder one another, there is a collection of other offences between us. Shall I apologise for hexing you stupid more times than I count? Or should we compare score-cards and figure out just who hexed whom the most often?"

Sirius wanted to snarl at the man but he reminded himself that cooperation would earn him his freedom.

"I don't need your apology for the hexes. It would be insincere, at best. I do offer one, though," Sirius said quietly. "We were right gits to you for no decent reason. Blame it on schoolboy pig-headedness, James's jealousy over your friendship with Lily, or even on the notion that we were no-good bullies picking on the kid who looked different. That's how it started, and I'd like to think you recognise that."

Snape curled his lip at the mention of James, his eyes flashing with pain over the use of Lily's name. Sirius wasn't surprised learn the git still carried a torch for her, even years after her death.

"That said, we took it too far. We hounded you relentlessly. In the beginning I reckon it was done with the attempt most snot-nosed kids have picking on the weird kid. Don't curl your lip at me, mate. You were the weird kid in our year and you know it. You were too bloody smart, too well versed in the Dark Arts, your clothes didn't fit right and your hair needed washing. Childhood experience teaches most kids that pointing out someone's flaws sees them correct them. On a playground picking on the kid who doesn't bath often enough tends to result in them bathing more frequently, when they are capable.

"I suppose we thought that doing it to you might actually make you wash your hair. You were clever enough with a wand that you could've charmed it less greasy. You could have charmed your clothes to be less oversized and less ratty, too. That mean personality wasn't going anywhere, obviously, but there were things you could have done to attract less attention."

Snape's eyes glittered their hatred from the far side of the work bench.

"Don't look at me like that," Sirius warned him, keeping his tone neutral, trying to explain why they'd done what they did and how he might've attempted to improve things for himself.

"I washed my hair every day while I was here at school," Snape answered quietly in return. "I even cooked up a potion that was supposed to remove the oiliness. When you spend more than an hour a day with your head hanging over a cauldron, however, it tends to get dirty."

Sirius blinked in surprise to learn that.

"You brewed every day? Even when we didn't have Potions?" he asked.

Snape narrowed his eyes further. "I didn't actually get this good at it without a little practice, Black. Childhood pettiness does not excuse the hounding you lot gave me every day."

"I know," Sirius sighed. "In the beginning that's all it was. Until you fought back. Then it was more like a group of cats playing with a mouse."

"A pack of wolves, more like," Snape muttered.

"True enough, the canine tendency of a wolf-pack to nip, taunt, and provoke our prey took over us a time or two," Sirius admitted. "We were dumb kids. Worse, you actually fought back. And you were mean about it. You gave as good as you got – maybe not with humiliating us with stupid taunts, but don't pretend you didn't flick as many curses at us as you caught."

"I see, blaming the victim?" Snape sneered. "I deserved it, did I? For seeking to defend myself against four obnoxious attackers."

"I didn't say it wasn't right of you to stand up for yourself, mean about it as you were, only that it provoked us all the more. You and Lily being close was another sore point when Prongs fell for her. You know it was, and your own jealousy whenever she spoke to anyone but you was just one more thing to use against you. Look, I'm not saying we weren't all right little cockheads, Snape. We were. And I'm sorry we were so bloody cruel to you over things you mostly couldn't help. Not that you didn't deserve some of it, the older we got."

Snape curled his lip. When he didn't speak, Sirius suspected he knew that no matter how it had started, the years of torment and enmity had been earned, to a degree. They'd done terrible things to one another and Sirius knew they both had the scars to prove it.

"You think a half-arsed attempt at excusing your behaviour will make this any easier?" Snape asked, eyeing him over the top of the cauldron as he began to brew.

"Not really," Sirius sighed. "Look, we've been bloody wankers to one another. There's not much for it."

"The hatred between the two of us stems from more than schoolyard rivalry, Black."

Sirius nodded his head. He watched the man wield a silver dagger with wicked precision as he chopped tansy. He knew the cause of their biggest issue, and he didn't want to voice it any more than Snape wanted to hear it.

"You blame me for Lily's death," Sirius acknowledged heavily when Snape had laid down the knife. He jerked hard at the mention. "I could argue that Wormtail was the Secret Keeper, that he sold them out, that he's to blame. And it would be true. But it was my idea to make him Secret Keeper. It was my arrogance that let me believe that fucker worshipped us, rather than that he'd turned on us. It's what got me convicted in the first place. I as good as killed them the minute I suggested him over me."

Snape was eyeing him like he might hex him for the admission.

"But do not lay that blame solely at my feet, Snape," Sirius went on coolly. "Wormtail owns most of it for selling them out and being the coward he turned out to be, rather than the man that James, Lily, Remus and I believed him to be. And don't you dare lay it all on me when it was your words to Lord Fuckface that drove him to hunt the Potters in the first place. You didn't know it at the time, I'll grant, but I didn't fucking know about Peter. My mistake was innocent in that I believed a man better than he proved. You, on the other hand, condemned someone the minute you told Voldemort what you'd overheard of the prophecy. You didn't fucking care whose life you'd consigned to death until you realised Lily was in danger. And you didn't fucking switch sides until after Moldyshorts killed her. What did he promise you? That he'd kill James and Harry and spare Lily? That he'd let you have her instead?"

Snape's wand was raised and aimed at him before Sirius could finish his sentence and he knew his accusation was true. Anger boiled through him, threatening to overflow into the rage that sparked so easily within him

"Put it down," Sirius commanded. "I reckon you're a twisted fucker for thinking she'd have just fallen into your arms after you got her husband and her son killed, but what's done is done, Snape. We don't have to fucking like it – and trust me, I'm still thinking about hexing you into your grave for what you did because if not for you, James and Lily would be alive. But, if not for me, they might be, too. We're, neither of us, blameless in this. But she's gone, it's done, and I'd appreciate it if we could put that to rest. I don't like it and I doubt I'll ever forgive you for costing me my best friend. But I know there's nothing that we can do to fix it and bring them back, and I know that seeking revenge against you won't actually make me feel any better."

Snape's narrowed his eyes, lowering his wand slowly.

"And Wormtail?" he asked carefully.

"He will pay," Sirius growled darkly, letting the full force of his fury and his rage at Wormtail surface in his expression and in his eyes. Snape examined it carefully and Sirius wondered at the acceptance there when he didn't shrink back in the face of Sirius's plan to murder a man he'd once considered one of his very best friends.

"I can't forgive you, either," Snape said after a long silence but for the soft tinkle of the silver stirring rod against the edge of the cauldron he stirred. "But… I would appreciate the chance to… assist in seeking revenge upon that snivelling rat."

Sirius almost snorted at the idea of Snape using the word 'snivelling' but refrained.

"Deal," he nodded, leaning forward and offering Snape his hand to shake. Snape looked wary as though expecting a prank, even after all this time. Seeing none, the other wizard leaned forward carefully and shook his hand.

"Now," Sirius said, grinning just a bit. "About this marriage thing…"

"If you're about to proposition me, Black," Snape warned. "I will find something to shove up your arse and you won't like it."

Sirius snorted. "Nothing in that bloody contract about us actually fucking each other in the sense of anything in anyone's arse, mate."

Snape curled his lip.

"You realise that to consummate this thing we're going to have to…" he trailed of, curling his lip a little in revulsion.

"Touch cocks?" Snape filled in for him, smirking cruelly at the faintest slash of colour on Sirius's cheeks.

"Yeah," Sirius admitted. "Wouldn't exactly be thrilled over the idea even if you were someone I actually fancied. This is going to be bloody awkward, so the less animosity, the better, yeah?"

"Do you have a point with this conversation?" Snape asked. "Beyond stating the obvious?"

"You got any ideas about making this as painless as possible? Particularly for Hermione. Bad enough for you and I, what with it having been a while since I got laid… and you…?"

"Are you asking when I last fucked someone, Black?" Snape smirked.

"I am, actually. You have actually shagged before, yeah?" Sirius confirmed.

"More frequently than you in the last fifteen years," Snape smirked.

"Ever shared a witch with another bloke?" Sirius confirmed.

"Once," Snape admitted. "It wasn't an experience I was interested in repeating when he got handsie with me."

Sirius smirked.

"Who was it?" he asked nosily.

"How is that any of your business?"

"I'll tell you who I shared," Sirius bargained.

"I don't believe I have that kind of time," Snape drawled. "Whore."

Sirius flipped him the bird. "Don't be jealous, mate. It's unattractive. Last time I shares a witch with anyone is was… er… actually, I don't reckon you want to know, now that I think about it."

Sirius suspected that admitting to having shagged Lily with James one night when they'd been eighteen wasn't the best idea.

"Who?" Snape asked, his eyes narrowing at Sirius sudden reluctance.

"You'll get upset if I tell you," Sirius warned. "The point is that you understand the mechanics, yeah? Wait… when you shared someone did you both fuck the same hole, or….?"

"Did you?" Snape asked in a low, deadly voice.

"Let's say I got the full service with that one and leave it there," Sirius said. "Before you hex me."

Snape's expression darkened with fury.

"You fucked her?" he breathed, his eyes blazing.

"We agreed on not sharing names," Sirius said, pulling his wand from his pocket as a precaution, anticipating a hex.

"When?" Snape wanted to know, his voice sounding strangely tight.

"My nineteenth birthday," Sirius sighed. "He talked her into it because they were both curious about a menage au tois and knew I was whore enough to help out. Wanted to do it with someone they both trusted."

"You…" Snape looked angry and perhaps a little hurt. Sirius eyed him carefully. "She…? She was… willing to…?"

Sirius realised that not only was he angry at the idea that Sirius had got to do something he knew the bastard had wanted to do himself – minus Prongs, obviously – but he was also shocked at the idea that Lily was perhaps not the same girl he remembered.

"Lily was…" Sirius searched for the right word. "Curious, I guess would be the best word for it. She didn't… ah…. Well she was by no means loose or anything, but she wasn't shy about trying new things and James was… keen."

"Did you fuck him, too?" Snape asked, his voice strangely detached.

Sirius looked away.

"Does it matter?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Yes," Snape said.

"Why?" Sirius wanted to know, glancing back at the man. "Will it make you feel better to think that I fucked Lily and James, rather than just Lily?"

"I wondered how far in that direction you swung, actually," Snape said mildly.

Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly, suspecting Snape was thinking just what Sirius was thinking on that particular subject and suspicious over how well he was taking the notion that Lily had been different from the girl he thought he knew.

"We were all pretty drunk," Sirius offered quietly, looking down at his lap for a moment, recalling the debauchery he, James and Lily had gotten into that night.

"So you fucked him… or did he fuck you? I don't imagine Potter was too keen on the idea of turn your head and cough," Snape sneered, curling his lip.

"Are you?" Sirius asked, looking back at the man.

"Propositioning me now?" Snape smirked. "I know it's been a long time, Black, but surely that is beneath even you?"

"Fuck off," Sirius grumbled. "Just tell me if you're going to try and stab me when our dicks are rubbing together squeezed into the tight little cunt of a witch who might as well be virginal for all her limited experience. She's going to be nervous as hell and clenched up, tense and awkward and bloody uncomfortable, and I'd rather focus on making her feel good so we don't hurt her, rather than worrying over how you'll react to being right up in there with me."

Snape curled his lip in disgust.

"Must you constantly be uncouth?" he demanded.

"As if you're not? You were the one asking if she understood the idea of having two cocks crammed into her pussy at the same time."

"I used the word vagina," Snape corrected and Sirius hissed at him.

"Well bloody don't use it again, you git! It's the worst word in the English language."

"I disagree," Snape said primly. "I find the word 'moist' to be far more uncomfortable."

Sirius shuddered.

"Whatever. You're twisted. Who'd you have a threesome with?"

"You believe I would share that with the likes of you?" Snape arched one eyebrow wickedly.

"I told you mine," Sirius protested. "Bet is was Malfoy and Cissy, wasn't it?"

Snape narrowed his eyes slightly and Sirius knew it to be true. He chuckled.

"Well, isn't this fun?" he muttered darkly. "I fuck the witch of your twisted fantasies and you fuck my cousin. I don't particularly want the details, but did you double her cunt?"

"It wasn't pleasant," Snape curled his lips.

"Felt a bit like being squished into a package of hotdogs?" Sirius offered. "But… kind of good too. Hurt a bit at the wrong angle, but the added friction and tightness wasn't all bad."

Snape looked revolted by the analogy, though he nodded in agreement.

"Disturbing analogies aside, I've no idea how to cajole Miss Granger into being comfortable. I don't imagine any of us will be, given the circumstances," Snape said, adding more ingredients to the potion and stirring it counter-clockwise. "The idea of slipping her a mild dose of love potion occurred to me…"

Sirius frowned.

"She'd kill the pair of us for that," Sirius said. "At least, she would if she didn't have the chance to consent to ingesting it… perhaps we all should take some?"

Snape flicked his eyes up to look at him for a moment at the suggestion, frowning slightly.

"I don't like the idea much," Sirius held his hands up. "But I also really don't much fancy the idea of repeating what happened the last time you and I were in a situation that called for snogging, let alone shagging."

Sirius supposed, when the cauldron full of potion slipped off the desk and splattered across the floor, that mentioning last time was, perhaps, an ill-conceived idea.