- Claire's POV –

1953

-NO! Oh fuck! – I exclaimed as I spilled the hot milk all over the floor. It was already the third thing I dropped that day, and it was only 10 am!

-Mummy? You okay? – I turned to see a very sleepy Brianna at the door, rubbing her eye and yawning.

Afraid that she'd listened to me swearing, I just run to her and lifted her.

-Everything is fine, sweetheart, mummy just spilled your milk. But you can eat your toast while mum warms the milk again, is that ok?

Bree nodded and I sit her at the table. While the milk was boiling again, I looked at her eating with such joy that it seemed food would be vanished from this world soon. "She eats just like him…". As soon as this thought crossed my mind, I realized why I was so disconnected today. Today is 16th April. I've been in the 20th century for 5 years. Tears came to my eyes so unexpectedly I couldn't stop them.

After a few moments trying to calm down, I served the milk to Bree, who drank it enthusiastically.

-Can we play in the park today?

-Of course, honey.

She was so happy with my answer that she run to her bedroom, to get dressed. I was halfway after her when Frank appeared.

-The bathroom is yours, if you want to get dressed. – I noticed that he stopped talking as soon as he looked at me, my eyes should be red and I surely was looking like crap, but he didn't ask anything. Could he remember what day it was?

-Thank you, Frank. I'm going to the park with Bree. Are you coming to dinner?

-Sure, at 8pm, is that alright for you?

-Of course. See you then. – These were our conversations now, about daily routines or Brianna, but rarely beyond this. We weren't sleeping in the same bed and we use the bathroom in times, so we never see each other naked.

In the park, I sit on a bench near the playground and stood there watching Bree having the time of her life, or so it seems every time we go there.

It's amazing how she loves to be outdoors, to run fast with her arms spread open and even to climb at trees. She didn't like that much to spend an entire day at home, I believe she feels the need of fresh air.

"You would be pleased." – I think, looking up to the sky – "She would be delighted to join you fishing or riding a horse."

After a moment, I sighed and kept my mental conversation. "I know I made a promise to stop talking to you, but today is stronger than me. It has been 5 years you know? I still feel the warmth of your hand in mine when you guided me to touch the stones. I still see the tears in your eyes as I did so. I still feel the despair and sorrow when I realized I was really back."

I turn my head down to check on Brianna, and there she was, sliding down and running to do it again, with her vivid red hair flying with the wind.

"God, she looks so much like you. Her hair, her eyes, her nose, even if I tried my hardest, I could never forget you, because I look at a part of you every day… I promise, I'll love and protect her fiercely and immensely, for the two of us."

-Look mum! No hands! – this woke me up to reality and I got up immediately, but it was not fast enough, Brianna was already swinging with no hands and not a second later she was falling.

I run the fast I could and, luckily, I got the swing before it hit her head. She started crying and I checked her head and body, but there were no evident bruises, it was most probably for the shock.

-Come here, my bunny. Everything is okay, you're alright, mummy is here. – I kissed the top of her head and she held me closer until the weeping eventually stopped.

-I never fall… I'm good at it…

-It happens sometimes, but it doesn't mean you're not amazing at it! Just be careful okay?

She nodded and I decided to call it a day. – Let's go shopping for dinner?

Bree was already sleeping and Frank was working in the living room, when I finally finished cleaning the dishes.

-I'm really tired, I'm going to bed. Good night, Frank.

I didn't wait for a reply, I closed the bedroom door and gave up to my aching heart and started crying. I laid in bed, hiding my sobbing with the pillow, but I couldn't breath properly…

-I miss you so much. I'm so tired trying to forget you! I wish I was with you…

I took Jamie's ring in my hands and kissed it.

-But I hate you! For making me leave you and sentencing me to a half-life! – I punched my pillow several times, until I dropped tired and still sobbing – I need you.

I didn't realize, but I probably had talked too loudly. The door opened slowly and I sit in bed as Frank entered the room. I tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe away the tears.

-You don't need to hide it. But you should be quiet, or our daughter will hear you. I thought it was over.

-Over? What do you mean?

-You should have forgotten him by now.

I was astonished with his tone, as if he had a tiny clue of what was going on in my head or… in my heart.

-I will never forget him. I thought we had it clear.

-You're my wife.

-I'm his wife too. And you know that I'll give you a divorce if you ask me. You were the one who insisted on staying married.

-Yes! For Brianna! And I still love you with all my heart, Claire. I wish we'd never had that second honeymoon.

He was devastated, I knew that. And yes, we've been happy, but in a time where I haven't met Jamie, where I had no idea the man of my life was living in the 18th century.

-I never lied to you, Frank. I loved you, yes, I was happy with you every day of those years. And yes, probably it all would have been easier if I'd never travelled through the stones. But it happened, and it changed everything, there is no turning back.

He stood there in silence, a single tear running through his face, and I continued.

-I don't want to hurt you, nor destroy your chance to have a happy future with someone else. We don't need to be miserable, both of us. We should divorce, Frank. For you. For me.

I don't owe Outlander nor the characters.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do writing it. Please give me some feedback, so I can improve myself.