- Claire's POV –

1964

It took several moments for my brain to process what Frank was saying. It made no sense, how could he possibly have found Jamie? I've searched for him endlessly myself when I returned, I've read every book I could found looking for his name… and hoping never to find it. I never did, actually, so how could he?

I turned to him slowly, he was looking at me expecting an answer, but there was none I could give him. He was probably making that up to mess with me and my head. He wants revenge on what I've turned his life into, he wants to punish me.

-I don't know why you said that, but I thought you wanted that name to never be mentioned in your house. I kept that promise to you and was hoping you would do the same.

-Claire… I'm telling you the truth.

-Please, stop. – I couldn't stand another word. All my dreams were about him to be alive and happy somewhere, but when I come to reason, I know that is impossible. I know how the Battle of Culloden ended, and it was a bloodshed for Scotland.

-I don't know how it happened, what led to him being spared, but he was not in the dead records.

-That does not mean he survived. Thousands of men fought in that battle, it is perfectly normal that not all were recorded.

-No, you're right. But I found his name in the list of prisoners of Ardsmuir Prison. He was sent to work with some Lord in England.

I have no idea if I could trust his words, but hope was growing steadily in my heart. My hands began to shake, and my vision got blurred, as a doctor I knew I was about to faint.

"Jamie…" – it was the last thing I remember hearing, not sure if it was my own voice or my mind. The next thing I recall was laying in the couch and Frank was hugging Brianna, who was clearly worried.

-Bree… - I called her, my voice failing.

-Mama! You scared us! We should go to the hospital!

-I'm alright Brianna, this was lack of sugar, I'll be fine in a minute. – my head was hurting badly, and it felt like I was punched in my back, every muscle was in pain. It was either the shock or the denial. – How was your dinner?

-Tina was so happy with the surprise party! We had a great time!

I nodded with my head, and from time to time I turned to Frank, who was always looking at me with a mix of worry and fear. He wanted to say something, that was obvious, but I also have something to tell him.

It was not until the next day, while he was getting dressed for his presentation, that I knocked at his door.

-Claire! – he didn't expect me there – I am so sorry for last night, I never wanted you to-

-To have false hope? Because that's exactly what I feel. I wish you haven't said a word. I wish I was still in ignorance.

-I… I thought you'd be pleased to know he didn't die in Battle.

-It took you 16 years to realize that?

-I know I should've told you before. I was selfish and scared you'd leave me alone. Again. I couldn't bare it.

-You could have taken it to the grave. You just put such a burden on my shoulders. I hope you're satisfied.

-But… Claire?

-What? You thought I would be what? Happy? Excited? What for? He is dead. Right now, he is. And now is where I am. Where I will be. And knowing he was always there, that I could've fucking stayed with him all this time, but I was here because he… - I took a deep breath because I knew I was so close to break in tears. – Knowing he is there, and I am here and we're both living in our times, separate forever until the day we both die… THAT IS WAY WORSE THAN BELIEVING HE WAS DEAD. – I was crying by now, there was no way to stop the tears, the anger in my heart, the pain in my chest – Because believing so, was my excuse to be here. I came back because he was not there, and I had no reason to stay.

Frank said nothing. I didn't recall being so anxious, crying so desperately since I came back, and I had my share of crying.

16 years of my life thinking my love was dead and I had to keep living for my daughter, only for her. Living a half-life, but mentally accepting I had no reason to even try to come back. But now I learn that I could've tried. Or I could've managed a way to tell him his daughter was alive and healthy.

But now it was way too late for that. There was no possible way I could explain to Brianna what happened, she would never believe, that practical and rational mind of hers would never believe, she would think I was insane and move even away from me. And I could never leave her.

-I want the divorce, Frank. – I said, calmly but fiercely. He was astonished, certainly not expecting this. The truth is that if Jamie really is alive in his time, being with Frank feels like cheating and dishonouring him. – I never chose to leave you, to fall in love with another man so deeply that not even 200 years could erase him from my heart. The plan was to live a happy long life with you, Frank, but life had other plans for us. And I am really sorry things went the way they did, but there is no turning back now. And I want you to live your life, not mine nor Brianna's. Yours. It's time, at last.

-You're going back to him and you're taking my girl, aren't you?

-No, Frank. I won't take Brianna anywhere and I'm not going to tell her the truth. I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it. If I ever tell her anything, it'll be only after your death. Being us married or not. I still care for you, Frank, and I am deeply thankful to you for what you did for Brianna, you really were her father.

He looked at me and tears filled his eyes, he nodded slightly and gave me a quick hug.

-Thank you, Claire, for giving me the opportunity to raise such an amazing girl.

-What does this all mean? You've been lying to me all this time? You're not my father? So I'm what? The daughter of one of your affairs?

There she was, standing at the door, giving me a look of disgust and betrayal. I felt my head getting dizzy, my mouth dried and I couldn't say a word.

Before I could move, the door was loudly shut.

I looked at Frank, but he was as horrified as I was.

I could have lost my daughter for good, she would never understand the truth.

I don't owe Outlander nor the characters.

What do you think Brianna will do next? Will Claire be able to join Jamie again or only after the 20 years? Or… never?

Please give me some reviews! :*