A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the LONG delay: this chapter was much harder than I expected. It isn't even the final product: the end is a bit different in my original script, but it was too long so I had to cut it down.
Anyhoo, enjoy, and sorry again for the delay!
Chapter 9
RJ
What the Hell are you doing, Ralph Jerome?!
As I race back out of the alleys, a voice begins scolding me over and over again. Are you kidding me?! You're really gonna go and earn money just for that useless thing?
SHUT UP! I yell back in my mind. He needs help, and I'm gonna help him.
With a flying leap, I glitch out of the alleys and land in front of the buildings. Just as I am about to land, though, a random avatar comes out of nowhere in front of me, and unable to stop myself, my prosthetic strikes against it, sending it flying into somewhere I don't know.
Darn these stupid things! Why do you even exist on the Internet?! I think, and then I refocus my mind. Right, so…yeah, I gotta make some money. Gotta help him…
All of a sudden, something stops me abruptly, freezing me in my steps.
Was the voice right after all?
Did I do the wrong thing?
Should I help 'Ralph'?
Yeah, it's true, I just know him. And I know that he might be lying about himself, that he might be a very dangerous being, ready to strike when I least know it…
He may be a real threat to the Internet once more…
I shake my head, swatting my thoughts away. No. Even if the character I'm helping, or trying to help, has a dangerous background, has the power to cause mass destruction, has a reason not to be trusted…I still got to help him. If I don't, then I'll be certain his fate will be the same as the character I know, that it is far too late for him to get a second chance…
I look up at the building behind me, tall with a huge sign which said eBay. Okay, so this is definitely one of the websites that I haven't been to before. I can see a lot of avatars going in and out, though. Wonder what's in there…
Maybe I'll know when I get to chance to explore inside.
"Hey man! Wanna get rich playing video games?"
Wait, who said that?
I turn a head, just to see a green character dressed in shaggy clothing, clutching a board in his hands. Every now and then, he bends down to an avatar, holding out his board to them. But even as he does so, I can tell that he's having a hard time promoting his business.
"No, really. This is not a joke. I can tell you how to get money by playing video games, just come with me and I'll tell you."
"WAIT, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!"
The avatar that the character is promoting to gets knocked out as I take his position, and the character, startled by my appearance, leaps back in fright. As soon as he realizes that I can be his next potential customer, he calmly picks up his board and smiles at me. "Well, sir. How can I help you today?"
"Did ya just said that I can get rich quick by playin' video games?" I ask, anxious.
The character laughs nervously, "Well…you better bet you can! Click here to find out how!" He whips out his board, and now I can see words printed on it: "WANNA GET RICH PLAYING VIDEO GAMES?"
Oh wow! Just barely a minute after trying to find a way to get money on the Internet and such a great solution pops out at me? Wow! I can't believe it! I smile, and start to place my hand on the board…
Hang on.
Wait a minute.
This can't be right. There's no such thing as a free lunch. There must be a catch, there must be. There must be something I don't know about this deal.
I clear my throat and let out a nervous laugh. Then slowly, slowly, I withdraw my hand and put it back on my side. "Uh…ya said that ya can get money by playing video games…so what does that exactly mean? " I ask hesitantly. " Do ya go in and compete against the other players, or do ya…
"Oh, you do go into the games and compete." The character explains "But that's not the main point here. You see, in every game, the programmers have hidden weapons and trinkets for players to collect and use them in the game. Some of them are very common, but some are much, much rarer, since they give huge advantages to the wielders. Some players really want that advantage, but they always can't seem to get it via normal ways in the games, someone always beats them to it…"
"So…" I begin, slowly having a vision of what he is about to say next in my mind.
"That is where you come in, my friend." The character says, beaming at me. "Your job is to go into the game, find and collect those hidden advantages, and bring them to me so I can sell on my website to the players! It's just like a scavenger hunt! You just need to find the objects; I'll do the rest and give you back what you deserve. Now, I don't have my leaflets with me, but let me give you an example: a certain game has an Ice Blade hidden on their maps, and the wielder can have deadly aim defeating his foes. You can win the game just by having this sword! One of my clients has gone into the game, grabbed that sword against all the other players, gave it to me, and I sold it for like five-hundred bucks online. Great deal, right?"
"So ya actually have to go into the game?" I ask.
"Yep! As a player! But remember, a lot of players are aiming for the same hidden weapons, so I gotta say that this is not an easy task. That client I just mentioned, he went in twelve times before securing the Blade and handing to me."
"What happened to the other eleven times?"
"Oh, he got eliminated." The character shrugged. "But that's alright, he can join in the next game. No big deal."
No, that's a huge problem. That's a huge problem for me! I might look like a citizen on the Internet, but deep down, I know I'm a video game character with a game to call home, and it's certainly not the one the character is directing me to. The players? Come on! They're human users! They don't need to be afraid of getting killed or eliminated! They died? Fine! Regenerate and join in again! Me? One swipe and I'll be gone! Glitch powers or not, I can't be certain that I'll make it out alive, especially when I'm competing for something that means a lot to everyone…
The odds are greatly against me. If I die, let alone getting no money, I won't be able to see my brother, my friends, and the character that I wanted to help. I can't accept this, this is too much for me to bet on.
I wave my hand at the character. "No, I'm sorry. I can't accept yer deal. I can't risk it."
"Wha-what do you mean?" The character asks me back, confused. "What do you mean, you can't risk it?"
"I just can't do it." I say again. "Thanks for yer advice anyhoo. I'll find somethin' else." I turn and start to walk away.
"Wait, sir, sir!" The character runs up behind me, waving his board. "Look! I can take you to my site! I can show you more! Please, let me-"
"I SAID NO!"
The character stumbles back, the board clattering to the ground. It is then I noticed both my hands have clenched into fists, sparkling and glitching with power. With my sudden shouting and my Glitch, I can understand why the character was so afraid of me.
There is an awkward silence between us for a while, then carefully I start to talk. "Look, I'm really sorry for shoutin' at ya earlier, it was my fault. But unfortunately, I cannot take yer offer. Findin' and competin' against tens or hundreds of players at the same time really isn't somethin' for me. I'm sorry, I really am. But I would really appreciate it if ya happen to have another solution up yer sleeves."
The character sighs and looks up at me, all while shoving the board behind his back. "Well, I do have another solution, but it's not one that I'm specified in. Simply put, I'm just a messenger for this next idea here. But…" He sighs again, and he walks away to a corner outside the building, where he picks up another board. He then comes back over to me with the new board.
"Have you tried BuzzzTube? People can earn money there."
BuzzzTube…Yeah, I think I've heard of that website before in one of the search websites. But I can't remember what it is…
The character catches my confused expression, and he tries to explain for me. "It's a video-sharing site. People go up there to make videos, and the more hearts they get on their videos, the more money they can get. I mean, I myself would stick to video games, but I cannot deny that someone did make big bucks on that site in eight hours; and by big, I mean it: the guy took home over thirty grand just by his videos! Quite a feat, right?"
"So who's that guy?" I ask, excited. Maybe this is my true solution to this problem! I can make videos, and that guy managed to earn loads off his videos! Maybe that's what I'll do!
Meanwhile, the character holds up his board to me. "This guy."
I look down at the board, and I gasp, crumbling to the ground in astonishment. I would have gone into a panic attack if my code had suddenly gone haywire.
For of all the characters in the world that I would imagine to see on the board, I've never thought the face would be an 8-bit version of my brother's.
"You know this guy?"
It is the character's question that made me realize that I'm breathing rapidly, and I'm starting to glitch beyond my control. Gritting my teeth, I calm myself down, stand up, and turn to the character. "Yes…I know him. I've seen before."
Obvious answer, yes, but I can't let the character know that he's my brother.
The character brushes his hand lightly on the board. After my shock, I am able to make out the words on the board: EXCLUSIVE WRECK-IT RALPH VIDEOES: CLICK HERE! "This is supposed to be the job of the BuzzzTube Pop-up Army, but Yesss thinks that it would be better to have a few more pop-ups around to advertise this. Ralph's fame has died down for a while, but she thinks it is good to get some users watching his videos every now and then."
I am silent. Ralph has never told me anything about making videos on the Internet! He has never told me that he tried to make money through BuzzzTube! First, the Crash, and now this! How much more can Ralph hide from me? How much?
"Hey."
I blink, and look back down. "You want to head over there?"
I look at the board again, at my brother's face and the site which might hold the solution to my problems, and possibly more answers to my questions. Sure, like with the previous solution, I don't know much about BuzzzTube, but odds are that this is a better, and possibly safer solution for me. And maybe when I find my brother's videos, I can know more about his journey, more about the trip that he never told me…
I think it's a shot worth taking.
"Yup." I say, placing my hand on the board. Instantly, a pod, greatly similar to the ones I travelled from site to site except it is tinted red, forms around me. As I zoom away, I wave back at the character, hoping that this BuzzzTube indeed lays the solution of how to make money on the Internet…
"ARRRRRUGH! ! ! !" I scream as the pod vanishes under my feet, sending me crashing to the ground. The avatars swiftly avoided me as they filed into BuzzzTube, as if they knew that I was about to fall.
Looks like I can never really get used to the Internet…
"I'M GONNA WRECK IT! ! ! ! ! ! !"
Wait, that sounds like my brother's voice! Is he here? I think frantically, turning my head from side to side as I look around.
A moment later, Ralph shouts his catchphrase again, and I look up. There, in the huge video screen just steps away from me, my brother has his fists raised, yelling as something blows at his face, slurring his words. I know I should be fearful of my brother, but the entire scene is so comical I cannot help barking out a laugh.
I slowly get up from the ground and make my way towards the screen. As I walk further, it soon became clear that Ralph's screen is just one of many, many others that are present. All around me, screens are everywhere, each and every one of them showing something different. On one screen, a person is being kicked in the face; on another, two people are screaming as they something disgusting down their mouths. Shaking my head, I continue walking.
Soon, I reach the screen with Ralph's video. Strangely, it seems like this is a short video, yet it is being repeated over and over again. I hear laughter, and I am relieved that I'm not the only character amused by Ralph's actions. In the bottom of the screen, I see the words 'Leafblower Guy', possibly the title of the video. Just underneath it, the number of views is seen: 21112018. Right next to it, there is another number with a heart symbol on it, this one at a number of 2112012; not as much as the first, but still impressive nonetheless. I cock my head, what do those hearts mean? Are they something can be gained, or…
A female avatar appears next to me, and starts laughing hard at my brother. She holds up her hand and rubs her fingers, and suddenly, a heart appears out of nowhere, clasped in her grasp. She releases it, letting her heart get sucked up by a huge vacuum that some netizens were holding. At the same time, the number next to the heart symbol increases by one. As more and more avatars produce their hearts, I linked the two and two together, realizing what is happening. Oh, so the hearts are basically the way you give to a video if you like it. Cool!
Wanting to show support to my brother as well, I try to mimic the avatars' actions, rubbing my fingers together to create a heart, but so far it is pointless. As one of the hearts drifts by me, I reach out and grab it, holding the delicate thing for a mere second before releasing it to the air. There! At least in a way I can say that's my heart, that I've given support in some way to my brother.
"Um, sir, what are you doing?"
I stop in my tracks, then I slowly turn around. Just behind me, a male character, smartly clad in shades of purple and holding a folder, is standing. He tips his glasses slightly, and then starts to walk towards me. "What are you doing, sir?" He asks again.
"Um, I…I'm just tryin' to, uh…show support to 'tis guy. Ya know, his videos look funny." I stammer, wringing my arms about. Ugh, I hate myself at these times! Hate myself that I'm so bad at lying!
"Well, of course!" The character says "But I'm afraid you can't do that: hearts can only be made by the avatars and you're definitely not one of them. You can, however, still give support to the creators, just not in the direct form of hearts. I mean, you can still give hearts, but you can give something else too. The only problem with that is you need to do all of that manually with your account, which…you do have one, right?"
"Uh…" I glance sideways, not sure what he meant by 'my account'. "No…? I…I don't really understand. I don't understand everythin'."
"Ah, a newbie. You're new here, I see." The character reassures me. "If you want answers to how to open an account, I'll take you up to Yesss." He offers.
"Wait, wait, wait. Yes?" I ask? "I heard somethin' like that before, but what do ya mean by that?"
"Oh, Yesss, with three s-es, is the name of our Head Algorithm. Basically, she runs the whole site."
"Yesss? Ya serious? That's a name for someone that important?" I ask again, cocking my head.
The character taps his glasses, giving me a funny look. "Look, my name's Maybe. It's not much better than Yesss', to be honest."
I stare at the character, Maybe, and nod my head. "Okay, take me up to her, then."
Maybe walks away from the crowds and screens, and I follow him up a few staircases and a few corridors, until we reach a grand-looking door. Maybe carefully opens the door and ushers me inside.
"Whoa!" Maybe gasps as we walk into the room, swarming with avatars and netizens. Almost all of them are holding boards and tapping on them, some of which are glowing. At the back of the room, I can see a table, where a blue-skinned character with a shiny fur coat is leaning over a table, barking out orders every now and then. With her trendy appearance and her demeanor, I guess this must be Yesss.
"I didn't know it was that serious…" Maybe mutters to himself.
"What?" I ask, curious. "What is so serious?"
"Oh, one of our servers crashed a few hours ago. If you're here earlier, you won't even be able to see the videos from the lobby below. But while we found technicians to fix the problem, a fair number of avatars and characters still have problems uploading their videos. They've all been directed here since our Tech Division is already pretty clogged up, so…yeah." He waves his hand at me. "Come on." And he leads me to where Yesss is sitting.
Even before she looked up at us, Yesss somehow sensed that someone is comng to her table. She rolled her eyes before looking back at her own board. "What's this? Another failed account? If it is not too personal or serious, then send him away to the Tech Division. My hands are full now."
"Yeah, but…" Maybe replies, stammering a bit "This guy here has problems of opening an account, and maybe…you can help him?"
"Yeah, I mean," I jump in "I saw a video I really like downstairs, but I don't know how to give support to the creators so…" I shrug my shoulders causally…only to see Yesss has finally looked up, and her jaw is nearly touching her table.
"Wait…are you…are you him?"
"Who?" Maybe asks, confused as he taps his glasses. "Who's…who?"
Uh oh.
No.
No no no no no no no.
No!
I look around the room. Fortunately, only Yesss and Maybe seem to be reacting at my appearance. I tug on my hood further and glance around the room. Slowly, I back away from the table. This is bad; this is really, really bad. Maybe if I can blend myself into the crowd, the two netizens will forget about me and I'll be able to get away…
"Security! Apart from the character in the green jacket, get everyone out of my room to the Tech Division ASAP!" Yesss barks, pointing at the door.
Darn, I'm trapped.
"But…miss…"
"NOW!" She yells, and that is enough for the guards to pick up or usher any remaining characters inside the room. It is chaos, as everyone is all heading to the door. Throughout it all, I try to lose myself into the crowd, making a beeline for the door, but I can feel a strong hand yanking my jacket back. "Let go!" I yell, turning around, but it was no use.
"Sorry, Yesss' orders. She must want you here for a reason." The bulky security guard whose the hand belonged to replies me solemnly. Dangling in the air, I sigh and let my arms fall to their sides, watching the number of characters in the room dwindle down as more avatars and netizens are led away. Eventually, the guard puts me carefully back on the ground, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Now it was just Yesss, Maybe, and me. I gulp, looking sideways and everywhere, basically trying to avoid the Head Algorithm's attention.
But alas, I cannot prevent the inevitable.
Yesss is breathing hard "Okay, so…can you take off your hood, please?"
"Um, why?" I ask back. My code is buzzing like mad, tensing up with nervousness. "What's the dealio?"
"Would you just do it?"
I sigh. This is it. This is really it. They're going to know who I am, and then they'll probably find a way to tell my brother! Ah, I'm so dead right now…
Closing my eyes, I reach behind my back, and whip the hood off my head.
This is it. I breathe in and out tightly. This is really it…
"That hair, and face…it looks so familiar…" I hear Yesss say.
I can feel my Glitch crackling in fear. Why did I come to BuzzzTube in the first place? Why? I had led myself to a trap, and now Ralph is going to know. I should have stuck with the character's offer and risk my code collecting advantages instead…
"Who are you?"
I open my eyes. I expected to see two angry faces stare back at me, but instead I see only confusion and surprise. Shouldn't they be angry at me being here? Shouldn't they?
"Who are you?" Yesss asks again.
"I…" I start to answer, but then KnowsMore's words of warning flash back in my mind. Don't tell them who you are! "I…I don't want to answer." I say, reaching my hands back to grasp on my hood.
"I'm afraid I can't accept that for an answer!" Yesss shouts at me, her hands on hips. Boy! She's got some authority! "Let me ask you again: who are you?"
I shake my head. Yesss glares at me, with a gaze so tough that I'm forced to look away. "So…if you don't want to answer…I'll just go and ask Ralph who you are. I have a feeling that you're connected. Maybe you're his son, or maybe his cousin, or-whatever! I don't know! But you're definitely related in some way, I can feel it. I'm just gonna call him and see who you are."
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" I scream, falling to my knees, crying. "Don't call Ralph! Don't! Don't tell him that I'm here! He can't know! Don't do it! I'll…I'll tell ya everythin'! Yes! Everythin'! Just ask and I'll tell ya! I promise! Just…just don't call him!"
Yesss' lips pinch up in a small smirk. She puts down a device in her hand on the table and comes over to me. "What's your name, then, young man?"
"I'm…" I stammer, trying hard to pull myself together "I'm…My name is RJ, stands for, uh, 'Ralph Jerome'. And…please! Please don't tell my brother that I'm here! He'll kill me if he found out!"
"Wait, 'your' brother? Ralph's your brother? He never told me that." Yesss throws at me with a suspicious tone.
"And he never told me that he went to 'tis site and made videos for money." I shoot back "From what I can see here, we're even."
"You got a point, and I quite like your temper." The Netizen gestures me to stand up. "However, I don't know if you're telling the truth, or that you're simply bluffing. I mean, you do have a bit of resemblance, but it's not so obvious."
"Oh come on! Why would I lie 'bout 'tis?" I argue "That's probably the last thing on everyone's mind after the Crash: who would want to be known as a relative of the character that nearly crashed their world into ruins?"
"Fair enough." Yesss turns back at me. "And if I remember correctly, Vanellope did tell me Ralph had a direct relative, but she didn't tell me who that character is. Maybe it's you, I don't know. But just to be on the safe side, I would like you a few questions that only that person will know. Vanellope devised those questions herself."
"Sheesh. When did ya suddenly become in charge of everythin'?" I mutter, shaking my head. When I see Yesss raising her eyebrow, though, I quickly snapped myself together. "Okay, I'm ready. Shoot."
"Okay. So first question:" Yesss reads from the small device in her hand. "What is something that Ralph really hates?"
"Chocolate, duh. Especially the dark ones." That's one easy.
"Favorite ice cream flavor?"
"Vanilla, cookies-and-cream, salted caramel, and strawberry." I say, tapping the answers off my fingers "Poor guy just couldn't make up his mind which is the best, but I can be certain that he'll have at least one or two Glacé cherries on top of each of his orders. Not the real ones, mind ya, since he thinks they don't go good together."
"Which part of his Wrecking Truck was broken?"
"I think the bumper. Vanellope wrecked it after she took it for a joyride in Sugar Rush a while ago. He still had not gotten it fixed, wanted it as a memento, I think."
"Most annoying thing he's done?"
"The one time he dabbed for every ten minutes after he returned from the Internet?" I recall, cringing a bit "Hell, that was somethin' I'd really like to forget, and probably the entire arcade as well."
"His most prized procession?"
"His half of the 'You're my Hero' medal, of course!" I cry out. "He's like a mama bear with that thing; get too close and ya'll regret it for the rest of the week! Believe me," I roll up my right sleeve, exposing a patch of skin that is considerably redder than the rest of my arm. "I learnt it the hard way."
Yesss makes a face as she glances down at her device. I'm guessing that I managed to score every single question correctly.
"Okay, last question." Yesss asks "What was an event that made Ralph really mad that happened in the past few months?"
"The one time that I clamped ten mousetraps to every part of him while he's asleep?" I recall "I mean, he went on a wreckin' streak for hours after that, yellin' and shoutin' and chasin' everyone in the game, and everyone thought he was insane; I think I set him real mad that time."
"THAT WAS YOU?!"
"Yeah, I mean…who can it be? Vanny doesn't even know where I got the traps from. We're plannin' to prank Ralph big-time soon if it weren't for the fact that she's now away."
Yesss sighs and looks up from the device. "So you're indeed the relative that Candy Girl spoke of. Sorry for my harshness earlier."
"Nah, no worries." I reassure the Head Algorithm.
"So how did you get here to BuzzzTube?" She asks me "I mean, you don't seem like a character who was interested in our videos to start with."
"Ah, ya got me." I laugh. "So I was in front of a site called eBay and there was a green dude who held up a sign that said led to Ralph's videos. He also said that I can make money here. So…I clicked on the sign and here I am."
"That would be Spamley." Yesss gave a small smile. "I got him that sign so that there still be people coming to watch poor old Ralph's videos even after his incident on the Internet. Glad to see he's doing his job well."
"Yeah, gotta agree." I say. "I mean, I'd have never known he was an Internet Star if I haven't come here."
"Wait," Yesss looks straight at me, her jaw dropped in surprise. "He didn't tell you?"
"Yeah, I mean…can ya tell me? And also how to set up an account? I really need it."
"Sure. Sit down. Get us some drinks, Maybe." She smiles and guides me to two sofas near the huge window. Meanwhile, Maybe turns to the back of the room and starts preparing something I can't see. I'm guess it's the drinks Yesss was mentioning about earlier.
Not long after I sat down, the drinks arrive, and we start our long conversation…
"So let me get this straight: you want me to help you set up an account to make videos, so that you can use them to fund your friend, who happens to be a Ralph clone?" Yesss asks me, tapping her chin.
"Uh…yeah. Ya pretty much said it." I say.
"Well…" Yesss gets up from her chair and walks to the window, gesturing me to follow her. Just outside I can see the grand lobby where I entered BuzzzTube from, the various screens depicting different images around the world.
"Look, it's not that I don't want to help, but…" She sighs again, looking away from me.
"What?" I ask, anxious "What 'tis it?"
"It's that…" Yesss suddenly turns to Maybe. "Maybe, you are dismissed. Please leave the room."
"But-"
"I'm sorry." She lowers her head. "But I don't think you should hear this."
I can see Maybe is surprised, but at the same time I can feel a sudden uneasiness in the room, as if what she's about to tell me is something that she doesn't want anyone else to know.
There is a brief silence, and then Maybe nods his head. Without his boss looking, the netizen swiftly leaves the room. Yesss keeps her head down the entire time, not until the door gently clicks shut when she looks back up at me.
"You remember the Internet Crash that happened just a few months ago, right?" She asks.
"Yup," I reply, nodding. "So what's up with that?"
"Well, there was a car who was trying to get to the Anti-Virus District, remember?"
"Oh, that. Yes, I remember."
"Well…"
Yesss looks away from me, but then returns my gaze. "I was the driver of that particular car."
I reel back, unable to believe what I just heard. "Wait, so...durin' the Internet Crash…the clones were all chasin' ya?"
"Not…exactly. You see, Ralph and Vanellope were in the backseat."
"What?!"
I stumble backwards, almost falling to the floor. "What are they doin' there? Shouldn't they be hidin' like the rest of the netizens?"
"Well, you see, the clones were tearing the Internet apart, and one way to get rid of them was to lure them all to the Anti-Virus District, where they'll all get destroyed. Ralph noticed that they all wanted Vanellope, so I got my car, got them two in the backseat, and drove in that direction. It worked…for a while, the clones were following us, but then…"
Yesss looks away from the window, her back facing me. I can tell this is not a pleasant experience for her, and I shouldn't ask further. But I really want to know, I want to know what happens next…
She sighs "Never mind, I should continue. The clones gathered together and threw the car off-road, crashing into a nearby building. We tried to get our car back up, but before we can move, the clones have gathered to form a giant version of Ralph, threatening to get Vanellope. I still see that thing in my nightmares, it was terrifying."
"Can't blame ya for that, it's pretty horrifyin'." I admit, shivering a bit myself. "Ya told anyone about 'tis?"
"No, of course not." Yesss lets out a slight chuckle "I'll probably be surrounded twenty-four-seven by my guards if they found out their boss did such a 'reckless' thing. But, seriously." Her face knits back into a frown. "You see…they tried to hurt Vanellope. They wanted her. I tried my best to lead her away, but I cannot help think if I didn't agree to their plan then they couldn't have gathered together."
"Hey, don't feel bad. I mean, no one wants that to happen. It would have happened anyway if ya don't want to."
"Guess you're right…" Yesss mutters, shaking her head "But because of this, I can't really say that your 'friend' really is harmless. We're just recovering from the Crash and I can't let the chance of something bad starting it all over again."
"So that's why ya really don't want me to do 'tis." I say, the truth dawning on me. "Ya don't trust him yet."
"Look, as the Head Algorithm of the Internet's most popular video-sharing website, I've been through bullies, trolls, and hackers. I know there are rotten people in this world, and despite seeing many of them didn't really change their ways, I can see genuine improvement in some of them. Some users really do apologize for their actions, but with your 'friend'…"
Yesss sighs again as she continues. "I've been there, first-person, seeing how they harmed my friends. And…I don't know, I don't think I can trust your friend yet. I don't know if he has really changed. I can't. For the sake of Ralph and Vanellope, I can't let him have an account here."
"Oh, I think it'll only be me that'll be openin' an account." I clarify quickly. "I just need a way to transfer the money to him, that's all."
"And…you'll need his account to do that, RJ." Yesss shoots back, her eyebrow raised.
"Fine, two accounts then…oh, okay."
Yesss plants her hands on her table. "You seem awfully determined, RJ." She comments "Just like Ralph."
"I know, right? Runs in the family." I giggle back, but then my face hardens "But seriously, I really need to do this. I can't let him steal anymore, and we'll need money to stop all that."
Yesss gives out a heaving sigh, then looks back up at me. "Fine, here's the deal: I'll go and start your account first, RJ. But my decision is final: unless you can give me evidence that your friend isn't like the rest of the clones I've seen in the Crash, I'll deny opening an account for him. You need to make money through another way."
"Yes, ma'am." I say immediately "I'll get him to come to BuzzzTube tomorrow night. I'll show ya that he's not one of them. Definitely not one of them."
"Wait, did you just call me 'ma'am'?" Yesss asked, a playful grin hinting at her lips.
"Maybe." I smile, giggling a bit. Yesss seems nice, and it looks like that she'll be able to keep a secret. But I still have to be careful around her; I cannot let her know more about me.
"Gotcha." Yesss grins as she slips me a small squarish device that fits perfectly in my palm. "So, here you go. You account is activated. I've used your real name for now, but you can change it whenever you like."
"Oh gee…Wow! Thanks!" I say, fingering the device. On the surface is a screen with my name, along with the amount of money that I made with my videos, currently boasting a grand total of zero dollars. I flip the device over, and find that it seems to have a clasp on the side. "It is equipped with Buzzz Face, which you can activate by flipping your device open. Just think of it as like a normal conversation." Yesss explains.
"Got it." I say, putting the device into one of the pockets in my jacket.
"So, you decided on what to do in your videos yet?" She asks.
I freeze. I have been so focused on how to get the money, that I really haven't thought about how I really am gonna do it! Sheepishly, I shake my head: I have absolutely no idea on what to do, nothing! My mind is blank! "Uh…" I trail off, shrugging my shoulders.
"No idea?"
"Yeah…" I admitted, blushing a bit.
"Honestly, I don't blame you." Yesss says in a reassuring tone "I mean, Ralph just went and copied everything trending on the net when he was there."
"Which…was what?" I ask.
"Let me show you." Yesss puts a board in my hands, and gestures me to press play. The first video is of him getting blown in the face while shouting his catchphrase: the exact one that I saw downstairs on one of the large screens. The video then shifts, showing my brother in a kitchen, eating what he introduced as a 'Ghost Pepper', which then sent him flying and running around the room, screaming. Another video then popped up, where Ralph was wearing an Afro wig and painting on the board behind him. The videos keep on coming: Ralph dancing and swinging his arms, Ralph putting on terrible makeup on his face, Ralph's head being Photoshopped onto a bleating goat, Ralph setting his hair on fire as he tried to bake a pie…How many videos are there? How many?
"He made a lot of videos." Yesss pipes up beside me. "He tried everything he could to get the money. I mean, earning twenty-seven-thousand-and-one in like eight hours isn't an easy feat."
"Yeah, but humiliating himself for it?" I ask, cringing as the current video showed Ralph smacking his lips against the camera. "Yikes, that is so terrible!"
"I know. He even made a bee pun, for sweet user's sake." Yesss says, groaning a bit. I can't help groaning as well. If there's one thing I cannot see doing on the Internet, it has to be embarrassing myself.
"Uh, no. No. Nuh-uh. I cannot do that." I put down the board, stopping myself from seeing any more of Ralph's videos "I cannot go and make a fool out of myself. Even if I get a buttload of moolah from 'tis, I can't do 'tis. I can't."
"So, let's think of it from another way. Do you have anything that you really like doing?" Yesss suggested, tapping her chin "We have plenty of gamers who'd made tons of money from video game walkthroughs just because of their hobby."
I start to reply, but a memory stops me from answering. I blink my eyes, and the next moment I'm no longer in Yesss' office, but in the penthouse back in my game. Around me, a party is in full swing, characters from all over the arcade busting off their best moves as the colorful lights shine down all over the place. Yet instead of dancing with the others, I find myself in a loft upstairs, slightly hidden from all the partygoers. I glance once more at the character-filled dance floor, and then fix my headphones tighter over my ears. I take another CD nearby and place it onto the old, worn, public penthouse DJ player, smoothly transiting the current song to another one. Sometimes the music will crackle here and there, but no one can help it as this DJ set has been used many times before, all by different characters; it just happened to be me this time round. As the music thundered above us, I find myself smiling as I look down at the party, happy that I managed to do something to make the guests enjoy their party to the fullest.
Ralph always found me strange when it comes to parties. It all happened years ago; I think it might be one of the very first times I set floor on the penthouse where there was a party. While he danced his night away on the floor with his pals, I found myself recoiling from it all, sneaking up towards the space above the party. There, I saw a character, with headphones over his ears, hunched over a set or something. Curious, I went closer to the guy, and he told me that he was going something called DJing. Getting more and more intrigued by the second, I asked the character if he would let me try DJing for a short moment, and while I was certain that he'll say no, the DJ instead smiled and scooted over to make room. There, for the next few minutes, the DJ taught me how to use the player, how to choose your songs, how to make a song jump smoothly from one to the next. I was having a lot of fun, so much fun that I didn't realize the hours have quickly passed before everyone is forced to pack up their stuff for the next working day. When we walked out of the party that day, Ralph looked at me with an apologetic look, saying that he was sorry that he couldn't let me dance in the party. But I shrugged it off, saying that I had a ton of fun anyway, and that he shouldn't worry about me. He gave me a funny look after that, not sure what I meant by that sentence.
You should have seen his face when he saw me helping at the DJ player at the very next penthouse party.
I mean, he never understand what is it that made me so attracted to doing this at the party. He couldn't understand why I would help in the background rather than party off as the main stars. He just couldn't understand. But at the same time, I also can't understand why he liked dancing so much so I think we're even. Two brothers, almost inseparable at times, yet having two completely behaviors at parties. And even though Ralph later accepted the fact that I liked being a DJ more than dancing and partying off like everyone else, he couldn't really grasp the reason of why I did such a thing. He never really understand that why I could like doing this.
He sometimes thought it was a waste of time for me to prepare my DJ music and stuff before every party.
But to me, it didn't matter, because I loved it. To the fact that I loved it even more than what I was supposed to do in my work days.
He can never understand why I can love doing a backstage job so much that I can be willing to ditch my current, stable job for one that doesn't make any sense in the arcade…
"Hey! BuzzzTube to RJ! Are you there?"
I yelp, and suddenly I'm transported back into the present, where Yesss is waiting for me in her office on the Internet. I shake my head, snapping myself firmly back into reality. Yesss is still standing next to me. "You got something you really like doing?"
I breathe deeply in and out. I've never done such a thing before, and I can't believe that I'm about to do it now. But I let it happen away.
"Yes, there is one thing." I bend down to Yesss and whisper something in her ear. When I lean back, she nods in approval. "Yeah, I think I can arrange that. Sit down for a while."
As I land myself in one of the sofas, I see the Head Algorithm turn away from me, muttering into something I can't see. I look out of the large window, at all the countless screens, and am silently grateful at how lucky I am. Only the second day here on the Internet, and I've already found a solution to my problems. Well, sort of a solution: I'm not sure how long this can last. Sure, it might be a trap, but my gut tells me otherwise; and this time, I'm gonna trust it.
"Okay! Come with me, RJ, and put your hood back up." Yesss says, walking out of her office. I pull the hood back over my head and chase after her, down the corridor, up a flight of stairs, and down yet another corridor until we stop at a room in the very end.
Yesss snaps her fingers, and I gasp as my device suddenly flies out my pocket and into her waiting hands. She places her device on the door, and I hear a tiny Beep! As Yesss hands the device back to me, the door silently swings open, and I am ushered into the room.
I am standing in a dimly lit room, so dark that I don't think I can see anything. I hear the light movement of feet across the room, and moments later, the room is bathed in light as the curtains are pulled open.
Squinting my eyes open, I realize that I am indeed in a room, and it is much larger than what I thought. To my left, huge windows are set into the walls, and one can see the screen-filled lobby from there when the curtains are opened. To my right, several huge comfy sofas and a dressing-table, compete with a mirror. And in the middle of it all…
"No…"
I stumble forward into the room, unable to believe what I am seeing.
"No…ya didn't…"
Yesss giggles as she sees me run towards the center of the room, stroking and marveling at the sleek DJ set perched on top of a table. On one side, two digital pads rested while on the other, a towering stack of CDs tilted dangerously on its side. There are no scratches at all on the set and pads, indicating that everything is brand new. One glance at the CDs confirms that I am guaranteed an infinite number of songs for my DJing and remixing.
I gasp deeply, taking everything in one more time. "Wow! Is 'tis…is 'tis…all for me?" I stammer out, fingering the wires and headphones already plugged into the set.
"It's all yours. Everything you see in this room is yours, RJ."
"I…I…" I find myself stammering again, my body flickering in and out quickly, giddy with excitement. "I don't really deserve all of 'tis, Yesss, I don't!"
"Well, is that what you wanted?" She asks back, eyebrow raised.
By now, I have finally managed to peel myself from the DJ set, and look up at Yesss. "Are ya kiddin'? I…I…" I try to speak more, but the words get trapped in my throat, unable to get out. Yesss gives me a knowing grin, and I manage to finish my sentence "'Tis is much more than I bargained for!"
"If you need anything just give me a call. I'm sure you don't need any tutorial videos on how to work on this, right?"
Without looking up at Yesss, I nod my head. The equipment in front of me is so new, so advanced, yet it is all so familiar at the same time. Like, when I put my hands down, I know exactly which buttons to push, which levers to toggle, which set of instructions allows me to transition from one song to the next…
"You said you want to help your friend?" Yesss asks, cocking her head and gesturing to the DJ set "Do what you're here for, then, RJ."
"I…" I'm stammering again. "I…Why are ya doin' 'tis to me?"
"Look, RJ. I just want to let you know that I'm on your side. You're a brother of Ralph, that I'm convinced, but I'm also convinced that you're not the same guy as him. "
And besides." She giggles again. "I also like doing stuff secretly behind Ralph's back."
I give out a hearty laugh. "I'll be fine, Yesss. I'll bring my friend tomorrow here and ya'll see that I'm not lyin'. In fact, I'm a terrible liar, and I really mean it." I laugh again.
Yesss smiles at my response. "Then I'll just leave you here with the DJ set. Have fun, my friend!"
As I wave back, Yesss closes the door to my room, leaving me alone. I choke out a small laugh. I can't imagine what will happen if Ralph saw what I am doing right now, that I am planning to use my DJ skills to earn money on the Internet for 'Ralph'.
He must think that I am crazy.
But then again, I am not Ralph.
I am not my brother.
Not my brother at all.
Slipping the newly-opened headphones over my ears, I place a CD onto my player, and begin remixing the tracks; doing what I really, really love.