Day 1
"…So, Eight-"
"Eight?"
"Your name literally translates to eight man, hence, Eight!"
"…"
"Anyway, how's your old man doing? It's been, what, nearly 2 decades since we last met?"
"… He's fine. Well, if you call being a diligent corporate slave and absent father fine. Aside from that, they're… doing okay, I guess."
"Damn, you don't hold your punches, do you?"
"Why should I? Euphemisms require effort, with little return in investments. Therefore, there are no logical reasons to twist my words."
"… If only everyone else was blunt like you. So Kento's not often at home?"
"Both my parents, really. I don't know about the average American work hour, but our parents only come home at eleven pm, and at that point they just want to sleep. They're not neglectful, just… absent."
"…I see. How do you feel about that?"
"I'm… well, to be honest, I am a bit resentful to my parents about that. It's not like they mean it or anything, but work is a necessity for them, and I love them for sacrificing their time to provide for our family… but I'd rather die than becoming a wage slave like them."
"Hah, I'll second that! It's nice that you are fine with them being what they are. A lot of kids your age in your situation tends to end up with daddy issues, if you get what I mean. Seriously, they're the worst!"
"…Who says I don't a problem with them?"
"I never said anything about 'problem' per say, just... well, more of an understanding, I guess? Not a lot of people understand that time is precious, especially for parents. You're different than most... or American teenagers at least."
"How'd you know what being a parent is like anyway? You're here during summer, so don't tell me you left your children at home."
"...Err... Aaaanyway, I'll let you focus back on finding our firework pyromaniacs. Call me whenever you want to talk."
"Hey, you didn't answer my question! Delilah?..."
A few guitar chords can be heard in an empty classroom.
Hikigaya Hachiman sighed, sitting on a chair in the middle of the classroom, looked at the well-worn guitar he's holding, and remembered.
It was a strange mixture of nostalgia and longing. He knew the emotions were lies, just like his youth.
But he accepted it all the same.
Hachiman took a deep breath, and flicked the strings, the guitar paved the way as his voice follows.
"I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the birds and bees won't know me
Where men and war don't exist no more
And there ain't no gals to keep no score
Footsteps can be heard outside the classroom, and a tuff of pink hair can be seen peeking out from the small gap in the sliding doorway. Hachiman, absorbed within his own emotions, did not notice this.
I'm taking off for the woods
To a place where there ain't no shoulds
Don't need no books, I'll ponder the ponderosas
Don't need no lady, I'll marry the mariposas
I can't waste no time getting there
I'll do eighty down eighty without a prayer
Don't need no gal, I'll spruce up for the spruces
Don't need no pal, I'll change my mood for the mooses"
The classroom door dented inside microscopically, almost as if there was another presence leaning against it.
"I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the birds and bees won't know me
Where men and war don't exist no more
And there ain't no gals to keep no score
If you're wondering where's my ass been
It's been cavorting amongst the aspens
Don't need no grass, I'll get altered among the alders
Don't need no mass, I'll grovel before the boulders…
I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the birds and bees won't know me
Where men and war don't exist no more
And there ain't no gals to keep no score
I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the elk and the owls won't know me
Where there ain't no judges to whom I gotta plea
'Cause I can be me… in Ol' Shoshone."
It was the second time I played the song, and I can't help but thought about how fitting it described my experience, despite being written by some random blokes out in the forest. They probably went through something similar.
It was only there that I was truly Hikigaya Hachiman. I found out that I wanted something genuine, no unsaid words between relationships, no ambiguity between people. A desire for such a thing might have been thought to be impossible if I was back at Japan; I would have felt trapped, constrained by the façade that society have constructed for each and every one of us, as an insider perspective might have.
But there, in the forest of Shoshone, I had time to think.
I had other perspectives. And I knew it's not impossible.
I guess, sometimes you just need to change the lenses in which you view the world, in order to get in touch with yourself…
…
…That sentence was really cheesy, holy crap. If Komachi had heard that she would've callen me Ojiisan. Blegh.
Though… guess all that blabbering about "soul-searching" in the wilderness by the Americans were true all along, huh?
I never was a sappy guy; I took life in stride, firm in my beliefs, and rationalize (sometimes wrongly) about everything. Feelings such as what I am experiencing right now is just out-of-character for a person such as I. Man, now I have to reevaluate my stance on the whole "changing myself" now! A scene with Yukino in the first year came unbiddenly to my mind.
Aaaagh, yet another identity crisis! I'm way too young for this!
I checked my phone for the time, and found out that there is still 10 minutes until club time. I put it back in my pocket, and play a vocal-less song I learnt from the many tapes scattered among the Shoshone wilderness, before setting the guitar back leaning at the wall, and slowly walked out the classroom. Next destination: The Service Club. Meeting Yukinoshita and Yuigahama together in the club again after months would be… nice.
So imagine my surprise when Yui was inches away from my face when I opened the door.
…
"Yo."
She quickly backpedaled and sputtered, "Oh, h-hey, Hikki! Y-you have a really nice voice!" Do I? Not like I had a reference alone in the middle of a forest.
"Thanks Yui" I replied. I glanced to her side, and saw Yukinoshita standing beside. I looked at her questioningly.
"Hikigaya-kun, I didn't know you speak English, much less enough to sing a song." She said… disdainfully? Enviously? It's hard to tell. Though I swear I saw an envious expression on her… that has a lot of implications, heh heh.
"Yeah, well, you're right." Yukino blinked in surprise, "I wasn't. I spent the summer in the US, though. That might have something to do with it." I smiled. Why does she look so surprised? "And did you just compliment me, Yukinoshita? Did the summer heat finally melt the chilly heart of our resident ice-queen?"
There was an awkward lull in conversation.
Hey, I just saw her blush!
She looked back at me, with a strange expression upon her face. "…You've changed, Hikigaya."
I blinked. "How so?" We started walking towards the direction of the clubroom.
Yukino stayed quiet for a few seconds.
"… I think what Yukinon was trying to say was that… you just smiled, Hikky! It's just so rare, especially when the smile was so not-creepy like your typical ones!" Yui, sometimes you are too honest for your own good.
Never change.
"She's right." Yukinoshita added. "And even rarer still was you agreeing to me. Usually you are much more impulsive and, as you have once said, 'edgy' in our daily interactions."
"Oi, woman, don't quote myself against me, out of context quote makes you vulnerable against logical fallacy, which is unbecoming of you, Yukinoshita!"
"Though, I have to say…" I quickly said, cutting off her rebuttal. "It's nice to meet you both again." I smiled genuinely at the both of them.
There was a short pause, as Yui and Yukino looked at each other, as if communicating through telepathy. What are they saying to each other? Am I missing some context? Sure I've changed, but not that much, though, right?
They both looked at me and replied.
"Likewise" said Yukino with a small smile.
"It's nice to have you guys back, too!" Yui replied enthusiastically, giggling as she did so.
She continues. "So Hikky, you missed so much last summer! Me and Yukinon met Hiratsuka-sensei while shopping, and she got us to go to this summer camp…"
…
I'm finally home.