Nevada120 and LightKingdom: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I never had thought of Heaven or Tokyo as depressing, but there's definitely some angst in there from both Onodera and Takano. Well, the material I was basing it on was depressing (ORnB #28)

In Heaven or Tokyo, I wanted to give Onodera another choice than the canon was giving him because I found that choice to be unacceptable. After, I kept on thinking of Takano and where he would go from there. I guess I wanted to give him another choice too.

Thanks again for reading!

Chapter 2 Ritsu

I'm feverishly typing. Okay, not so much typing. I'm an experienced editor, so I'm carefully working through Maeda's manuscript, because I'm a professional who doesn't let his personal life interrupt his work. And my authors deserve better. Even though I'm starting to wonder if it had been pure luck when I discovered Maeda Sensei because nothing is coming together with this sequel and I've been working on this for days, and it's driving me crazy and my fight- no- discussion with Akira last night has nothing to do with any of this. And fight is the wrong word. We're mature adults. We don't fight. Oh crap. We were fighting. I knew everything was too good to be true. Maybe this is just the start of the end. Maybe I'll go home, and he'll have divorce papers ready. But we just got married! No. I'm overreacting and I know it. But last night was horrible. Just thinking about it is making me feel nauseous.

Doesn't he understand that I love him? He's got to know that, right? Why can't he be content with what we have? And now I've completely lost my place in the file, and I'm realizing I haven't been paying attention since I started to go through the document for what seems like the thousandth time. Well it's 12:33. Akira made me a bento, which I'm starting to feel guilty about eating, but then again, it's good food which shouldn't go to waste. And I need to keep things in perspective. Last night wasn't that bad. Nevermind. it was bad. We've never had a fight before either. Well aside from that one night at his mother's house, but that was because of jet lag then. This is real. Just thinking of those disapproving eyes...

It all started maybe a week ago. He wanted to include a chapter all about us and how we met in his memoir and he wanted to include a picture of us too. But I had said no, and he'd understood. Or so I thought.

Until last night.

I had prepped oyakadon and a couple of salads. I was feeling good that my food repertoire had expanded. Akira had been having a late meeting with his editor so for once I was home before him. What I like about oyakadon is I can get everything mostly done beforehand. As soon as Akira mailed me to tell me he was on the way home I started the cooking and by the time he had gotten home, all I had to do was drizzle in the egg in the pans, let it cook for a minute or two and serve on top of the rice. He barely had time for washing up and we were ready.

"Hey, babe." He loves calling me babe. It must be an American thing. "Mmm, oyakadon and kinpiri. My favorites, and I'm starving. Thanks. Itadakimasu."

I was thinking this marriage business was working really well.

Famous last words?

"How was your meeting? Should I even ask if the book's ready yet?" Akira told me so many times that the book was finished only to discover another email from his editor with another round of changes.

"I think so! I have a pdf copy I want to show you."

After dinner we headed to the computer, and he pulled up the photo insert. There's several of him in his tennis clothing and he looks so gorgeous and athletic, and I might have checked out these pictures before sometimes on occasion.

"I see what's happening. You want me to ogle over you."

"Well, yes and maybe no." That was weird. He was talking odd… almost like he was… nervous. That should have been my warning. Akira is never nervous.

And then it all became clear, because there at the end was one of my favorite pictures from the wedding. It was taken in his mother's backyard. It wasn't posed. We're looking at each other, and it's obvious that nothing else really existed.

It was a beautiful moment, worthy of one of the Shojo manga I used to edit.

And so not okay for publication. This was private and I wanted to keep it that way.

"Akira!" And I'm pretty sure I heard him sigh in what sounded like frustration.

"Look. It's not finished. It can be changed."

"I can't believe this! I'm not out at work!"

"I know. I got carried away, but it fits perfectly and it's such a good picture of us."

"Why do I feel like you didn't listen the last time we talked about this? You said you understood. I need my private life to remain that way." I had this feeling that wasn't the rest of the changes made. I zipped through to the last chapter. And… I'm so happy I decided to take a tennis class one day and that we met and eventually got married, but I didn't need our story -again something special but private- to be discussed in detail in Akira's book.

"I can't believe you! It's like you don't respect me at all."

"That's not true."

"Then why are you pressuring me like this?"

"I'm not trying to pressure you. I thought if you saw how it looked on the page, you'd change your mind."

"I didn't need to see how it looks if I don't want it published in the first place."

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"No! You know I'm not! Why would I be ashamed of you?"

"So why are you so worried if people find out the truth about us? Are you ashamed of who you are?"

"This has nothing to do with shame. It's about privacy! I know you want to tell the world that you're homo- sorry, bisexual, but I'm not-"

"I know you're not bisexual. It's a good thing too because twice as many people would be after you." Normally that would be cute, and I would laugh, but not when I'm frustrated!

"Can't you be serious for longer than a minute?"

"Yes. I just think you're making this more than it is. Nobody's going to bother you at work."

"You don't know that. And you won't have to work with people staring at you and saying rude things when they think you can't hear, and I already went through that at Onodera Shuppen."

"People were saying you were gay when you were at Onodera Shuppen?"

"No, they were talking about something else, but that's not the point, which is that people talk. You should have seen some of the women at Marukawa one time when Takano-sa and I had to share a room with one bed. The morning we came back it seemed like everyone was gossiping about us."

"Okay, I'll pass, because I can only imagine what really happened and it doesn't make me happy."

"Again, you're completely missing the point!"

"Your point is you want privacy, but If you were a woman, we wouldn't even think twice about writing about us or putting our picture in my memoirs. And one of the big reasons I wanted to write this is to say I'm proud of who I am, and of you and of us and there's no reason to hide. So, I'm finding it sad that my husband would prefer to hide-"

"I'm not hiding!"

"You're not." Meanwhile. I was yelling by now, and feeling frustrated while Akira was calm. Okay, maybe not calm as much as sad, which just made me even more frustrated.

"I'm not. I'm just not… you. I thought you understood that."

"Yeah. Got it. You're not me. Fine. Well, I'm going to do the dishes."

"Yeah. It's been a long day. I'm going to bed. Good night."

Deep down I wanted him to stop me and take me in his arms and tell me it was alright. But he didn't. Maybe he didn't hear me. He was still sleeping when I left for work. He must have made the bento last night. Which I'm practically choking on because he looked so sad last night. I really don't want to think of the way he looked at me last night.

And suddenly I found a possible solution for Maeda Sensei. Which means going through the manuscript again, and preparing a long email accompanied by a new version of the file with my edits and suggestions. Which necessitates an accompanying phone call. A long phone call, because she wanted to start right away on the new game plan involving a complete rework of her narration, actually a complete change in her narrative style which I think - no, I know she can pull off, and it's not that I'm avoiding Akira, it's just this type of work is painstaking and takes time. And I just need a little more time. It's not that I'm avoiding him or his sad – no, his disappointed eyes. I'm obviously going to head home at some point. Soon. After Maeda sends me the newest copy of the manuscript.