L stopped typing when more poorly concealed laughter burst from Light. He was quite exasperated, this had been going on for a full minute now. L glanced down at Light, who had crawled under the table and was giggling at something from below the table. L could easily see, with the aide of the glass tabletop, that that thing was him. Whatever Light found so funny about him was beyond his knowledge and the way Mastuda kept on concealing smiles was annoying (didn't he give them a day off? or didn't they have anything else better to do apart skim old Kira notes and coddle "Rai-chan?"). L looked to the side, he must be going stupid if he had the time to snark at his own Task members.
L glanced back at the screen.
Light's laughter creeped mirthfully into the air, again.
He tried not to squirm.
Light laughed, with a, sticky (L was convinced), hand covering his mouth, L figured, from the sound. And the laughter didn't halt this time around as it usually did.
Ok. That was it. L set his laptop down on Light's head (why was there a glass protecting him again?) and glared at the head propped up on two chubby hands.
'Light-kun,' he said, the usual honorific slipping out without conscious control.
The boy glared at him, quite displeased that his entertainment was cut short.
'What is it, pray tell,' L continued, his voice a deep monotone that spoke of irritation. 'That you find so funny.'
'You, Sir,' he replied, simply.
'What? about me?' L asked. Was Rai-chan stupid or what? did he not know how to formulate a proper reply?
The boy tilted his head, silky blonde hair falling out to the side. 'Your big, bony toes.'
L was tempted to blink, ouch.. that was quite blunt. Older Rai-chan was never this mean, always sugarcoating his words and politely answering questions he was asked. Part of him was beginning to miss that Light. . .on second thoughts, no. . back to the scrawny brat.. 'What is so funny about them?'
'They move all the time when you are not thinking, like, like,' he giggled uncontrollably, waving his fingers in a crackling sort of way, trying to explain. 'Like spiders, or monkey toes! Yes, like monkey toes. Big, skeletonal, monkey toes.'
L looked calmly at him, not missing Aizawa's amused huff, and shortly thought about what to say. You don't know how much I hate you. Did you also know that skeletonal was not really a word? 'And, how is that funny?'
Light shrugged, and smiled secretly. 'I guess the way you also look like a gorilla in your sitting pose, and your bony face from down looks weird, too.'
L deadpanned so badly he wished his eye could twitch instead. Light burst into a new raging fit of giggles, proving his point, L's nose twitched, he was so-o tempted to scowl. Stupid Kira. How did the little rascal even get under the table in the first place? 'What are you even doing under the table?'
'I was playing secret cave,' Light informed him wisely, giving him a look that said the boy thought he was stupid to not have figured it out himself. L sneered right back the best he could using only his flat grey eyes. 'But secret cave is not fun at your boring house.'
Just so you know, Kira, my house isn't some tall building in a cramped metropolis. I live out here right now because of you, you know. Plus the 'boring house' you are criticizing costs a pretty penny. 'Is secret cave even a real game?' L commented, intending to anger the fat-faced brat.
Light crawled out from under the table and rose to his full height (not as impressive as his older self's shortness [Older Light was merely average height, you know]). The boy gave him a sad look. 'I am sorry you do not know the game, Sir Detective,' he said with a slow nod.
L replied with an unenthusiastic: 'I can see that.'
The boy nodded and extended a palm. 'Come, I teach you,' he declared.
If only he had offered information on his super-natural abilities.
L hoped his eyes expressed his straight refusal at the sincere (judging from the earnest eyes) offer. 'Oh, joy,' he mumbled.
Light, taking it as a yes, grinned, grabbed his hand, and pulled. L's huge eyes widened a bit, just how oblivious could children be? Light tugged again, 'Come on, get up, Detective. You are heavy.'
Rai-chan must be incredibly lazy or just unpowerful, L observed, because his hand was just barely lifted by all the insistent tugging. L wanted to warn him that tugging at something in a swivel chair was a bad idea. The boy pulled again (missing a playmate, are we, Yagami-chan?), swinging back with the force and tugging. He ended up pulling the swivel chair along with him and fell jarringly to the cold ground, L grinned gleefully in his thoughts. Light, frozen on the ground, looked at him for a second before a full blown scowl mastered his features.
Wow, L thought, he must be holding his breath to draw out the complete effects of his scowl. I am so scared.
Light crossed his arms and looked to the side. The corners of his mouth fell lower (heh, must be all that weight in his cheeks, L cracked unsympathetically).
The boy scowled harder. L nearly laughed. Was he trying to kiss the air? No, wait, he was trying to pull his lips and brow to his nose.
Heh, that fall must have hurt him. L tilted his head to the side. 'Oh, my, is Rai-chan feeling alright?' he asked, painting his voice with the hugest amount of sympathy he could muster without curling his tongue. Even a child would be able to hear the glee he was concealing.
His chin quivered slightly.
Weak to a little teasing? hah.
'Don't worry Rai-chan,' Mastuda said, crouching beside the boy.
Where did the idiot pop out from? L groused sourly, Matsuda just had to come and ruin his fun.
'Ryūzaki is just being a big meanie,' he said, quite familiar with how to handle children.
What? How was he the "big meanie"? Light was the one who had been laughing at him all morning. Along with ruining his greatest case ever, the pink faced dwarf is the meanie! Stupid Matsuda.
'Teach me the game?' he asked cheerfully. 'I want to learn it.'
'You do not know how to play secret cave?' Light asked, hesitantly but incredulously, his features softening.
Chief Yagami sighed when Matsuda nodded affirmatively. Light lifted his arms and waited for Matsuda to lift him to his feet before grabbing his hand and pulling him away.
L just moped at how unfair everything was. Seemed he'll now be left alone for quite some while.
About Seven Hours Later
'Soap?' L repeated, quite miffed. L had left the brat taking a bath (he seemed sensible enough not to drown himself, so the detective had deemed it safe to leave) and now the Chief was asking him if there was any bar soaps left in the room with Light. Because the lavatory was the last place on earth you'd think to look for soap.
'Let me clarify myself,' the Chief said at L's look. 'Light had the bad habit of eating soap. I am afraid it might be back with his transformed form.'
Eating soap? How could anyone even stomach the thought of downing something so not sweet?
'Sachiko used to tolerate only the scent of soaps, shampoos and such, when she was pregnant with Raito,' he explained hurriedly. 'I think that is what now causes Light to take an instant liking and fascination to anything that smells like soap-'
That would explain a lot of things, L thought dryly. That boy just adores soap and clean things to an unhealthy level, you know.
'-to the point that he would take to licking bars of soap and gulping down soap bubbles when he was younger,' he said, worriedly. 'It took years for us to break him from the habit.'
L could imagine (what with how enigmatic and unpredictable children were), unsympathetically, hopefully he would choke during a soap-loving session and die. But, 'I didn't see him eating - or licking, as you said, any soap.'
'Of course,' Chief pointed out. 'He waits for the moment he's left unattended.'
That made sense.
L didn't want to go back into that bathroom. Why was the Chief even telling him this? shouldn't he just gallop worriedly to the tub and attend to his spoilt crayon-headed son? Why was he... oh, ahh... L had sent the boy to bath in his own quarters. The Chief had some good notions of privacy, that he did.. unlike him, so L might as well humour the responsible man. So the detective turned around and made for the room, reluctantly. Why didn't he want to go back there? the reason was still ringing in his head, Light-kun was singing, merrily to boot, and L didn't want to go anywhere close, Lord knows his bright mood was infectious. It must be another special Kira ability of his.
The boy was still singing, as anyone with an IQ over ten could gather. L paused a bit and tried to place the song. It was ridiculously easy to place (the tune was familiar) but left him quite surprised - where in the world did Light Yagami learn to sing that Green Sleeves song? Even L had never learned the words to it, and he was from England! He should have gotten his older self teach it to him, the younger Light was difficult to handle.
L stared at the boy, who was tapping his elbows, facing the other way. Ok, how to say? L opened his mouth, 'I hope you weren't eating soap, Light-chan.'
He spun around dramatically, splashing bubbly water onto the floor.
L's grey eyes widened slightly, acutely taking notice of all the water and soap bubbles on the bathroom floor. The floor! L thought mournfully. Why? Oh, waiiiiiiii? There goes some of his free time, L thought unpleasantly. His bathroom floor, unlike many Japanese ones, wasn't designed to drain water splashed on the floor, meaning he was obliged to mop the floor himself (Watari was never going to do it for him). L had expertly avoided the task by taking showers with the stall door shut (whenever he even deemed himself dirty enough to clean up) and being careful. Light Yagami just had to ruin another thing in his current Tokyo life. Again.
He wasn't lazy (really), he just couldn't waste any of his sparse precious time doing anything other than pursuing Kira. But now it seemed that he'll have to spend some lo-ong precious minutes mopping up Rai-chan's mess. This boy was turning out to be a real ruin-everything-for-L.
This was the last time "Ruin-Everything-For-L" took a bath in his bathtub.
L never knew he could create such impressive nicknames.
'Of course I did not,' Light said, sticking a tongue out at him. 'Your soap tastes terrible.'
There was just something so bad about such an adorable angel of a child telling you that something about yours was 'tewwibal.' L felt his heart throb, ouch. Oh, cute child, whyst do you woundeth me so (yeah, genius L couldn't compose anything poetic to save his life)? But something about that phrase had piqued his interest.
'Soaps have different tastes?' L asked, curiously.
Light gave him a suspicious look and spoke with thick haughtiness, 'You're a greatest detective of all time, find the answer yourself.. hn.'
He turned back to 'pshhhh-ing (or whatever that was)' his fingers in the water. Maybe I should get him a rubber duck or something? That generous thought disappeared when he smacked his palms on the surface and splashed more water on the sloshy floor.
Hah? L thought incredulously. Who was it that said Light was cute again? The boy had the snottiest attitude he had come across. You know what? he didn't care. L turned around to leave. His intelligence was decreasing the longer he stayed here.
But 'Hey?'
Stopped him.
He turned around with a steady glare to see Light smiling at him. All his negative feelings were burnt away immediately. L blinked, why was he even angry? it was just blasphemous to be angry at something so adorable. He tilted his head in an inquiring manner and waited for Light to finish talking.
He felt as though he could wait for his whole life, if the boy kept on grinning at him and making him feel very important.
Highest in the room.
'I made a poem for you,' he said, putting a heavy cheek on a small hand and resting his elbow on the lip of the tub.
'You did?' L murmured, quite pleased. He walked to the toilet and put down it's seat, perching himself on it easily, expecting to hear said poem. When they spent some heavy seconds without speaking, L said, 'Let's hear it.'
He inhaled, and began. 'Now, I know a man whose name is Ryūzaki,' he began, his nose turning pink and his fingers dancing nervously.
Oo, that is quite the extraordinary hot stuff, for a chibi. But L, despite the good beginning, had a bad feeling about this.
'He pretends that his name is Ryuuzaki Rue -a clear impossibility- but he is a fellow of that obstinate disposition, wilful to have imposed the name upon my Chief as an affront to it's understanding.'
His bubbly, proud chest popped and deflated.
L should have known. And (despite the impressive level the boy was talking with) he was not going to dish out any compliments or smiles for the so-called "poem" when he finished saying it.
'Sir Rue is a broad-shouldered, bony-limbed, swarthy fellow of great strength,' Light composed, blinking softly, his voice dancing into the air smoothly. L even fancied that the particles in the air admired the sound waves. 'Never in a hurry, and always slouching.'
L did not sincerely know if he should take it as a compliment or an insult.
Light continued, unfrustrated. 'He never even seems to do his work on purpose, but will slouch to his computer as if by mere accident; and when he goes to the kitchen for dinner, or goes away for something, he would slouch out, like Cain or the Wandering Jew, as if he has no idea where he was going, and no intentions of ever coming back.'
L has had poems and songs composed for him before by fans, children at Whammy's, or people he solved cases for, but never, ever, was he so literarily (the kid's speech was flawless, for talking's sake!) insulted. But Light seemed so pleasantly sincere that he was doubting that the boy knew just how wrong his words could be taken. Had L been a mobster or something, this would have been his last bath ever.
L deadpanned, of course he knew, Light is someone who never does anything without considering the multiple outcomes.
That gun hidden in the towel shelves was suddenly tempting. But he doubts the kid's Chief father would appreciate the favour he was doing to the world.
'He lodges in a dull grey building with metals as company, and in mornings he comes slouching from his hermitage, with his hands in his pockets and a fork loosely hanging from his dry lips and his sleepless eyes no more alive than they were a night afore. He always slouches, or stands against tables and chairs, locomotively, with his big eyes at half-mast; and, when accosted or otherwise required to move them, he looks up in a half resentful, half puzzled way, as if he couldn't comprehend why he-'
'Okay, stop right there, Rai-chan.'
He stopped, tilting his head, blinking thick, wet lashes and asking, 'Why? you do not like it?'
Like hell. L stared at him.
Light frowned and tilted his chin down. Did his eyes just become larger? 'But I really took a long time thinking about it,' he said, sadly. 'I really wanted you to hear it, Sir Ryū.'
L shifted guiltily, those eyes would be the death of him one day. But there was no way he was relenting, the day was not even over and the boy was already making him half crazy, no way he was dropping his guard any lower. 'Oh, you did? For how long?' he said, seemingly unaffected. It was still good to know that he had spent time composing something for HIM.
Huge glittering eyes narrowed at him. Light thought that the lazy detective was acting a bit too satisfied. 'While you were filling the bath for me.'
What? Only? L thought. There goes to having impressed the kid into steaming his brain cells to make a poem up for me. Just how good could the boy be? L thought sulkily, even as a kid Kira was as impressive as ever. Well if his older self could crank up a speech right on the spot for an event, then it should not be too surprising if his younger self could crank up a poem in a couple of minutes.
'I am done now,' he grinned, changing the subject and raising his hands in that "Up" manner.
L would have sneered as perfectly as Severus Snape if he knew how to. Changing the subject so suddenly was plain suspicious and, 'I'm not carrying you,' he said. Standing up from the toilet and pulling up his dropping jeans (maybe he should consider getting a belt), he made for the door.
He'll send the Chief to help the kid rinse off and stuff. L wouldn't do it for all the cases in the world.
Kids were hard to deal with.
L got in trouble with Watari, at least, he could figure, from the look in his mentor's eye. And L could easily tell why and how he got in trouble.
'Ryūzaki,' Watari called. 'Come here for a second.'
L walked over, counted a second in his head and lifted a foot to slink away, but the stern glint in Watari's eyes stopped him immediately. L placed his foot back down and glared down at Light, who was clutching the Chief's leg and staring up at him. L was going to kill the boy. As soon as he spilled the information on how he'd transformed and how he killed people. So that L could kill him in return.
Light had finished telling company about how he'd made a poem for the "greatest detective" (Funny how he said the title easily only when it was convenient to him. No, it was not funny.) and how L said it was not a nice poem. Now, let me get things straight. I did not. Not. Say that it was not a nice poem, I just didn't like it. Maybe the genius could read minds after all? Because L had positively slandered the composition in the depths of his mind.
'Ryūzaki,' Watari said, noticing the glare. 'You need to adapt to being around children.'
'I do not need to, you want me to, I never thought about having any,' he said. 'Rai-chan just killed the nonexistent idea, either way.'
'You know what I mean,' Watari chided, gently. 'Now, as soon as you apologize to young Light, we shall hear this fantastic poem.'
'Let's compromise and say that I'll apologize after hearing the poem.'
'Stop being so childish..'
'I am fine with that,' Light said, stepping up.
Once again, L got that bad feeling, but he knew that this time it was going to be worse than before. His suspicions were confirmed when Watari began laughing at the boy's description of L, ruffling the brat's soft hair warmly.
Despite himself L felt quite pleased when the boy's cheeks coloured with happiness, seeing someone so purely happy was just so intoxicatingly elating. L could easily forgive him.
(Goo-goo)
(Ba-ba)
'Ryū.'
L looked up from his breakfast of chocolate cereal in sweetened (he'd spooned in sugar) strawberry milk. He remembered to look down a second after having looked around uselessly and gave the boy an inquiring look. Light had taken too long to come down for breakfast and that had quite worried L.
Because it wouldn't do if Kira got sick, they would have to take him to the hospital.
Not because he'd been missing the clingy, demanding brat. No. Kira could die for all he cared, he only wanted answers to several questions.
And proving himself right on several points of the Kira Case.
'Are we going out today?'
L observed him quietly for a second, taking in the pillow he was hugging and the paling skin. Lack of melanin was quite unattractive on the boy, it made him look fragile and easy to break. Softer and purer. It was still attracting and cute, but L thought that the warm peach skin was better than the pale white. Somehow. And that warm tan was almost completely faded. 'No.'
He pouted.
You have no idea how ugly you look when you do that kid, L deadpanned, turning back to his breakfast. Rai-chan better stop doing that all the time, his lips might freeze in that position. Maybe that was what gave him such shapely lips - the boy pouted too much (heh, nice dirt on the "perfect" genius boy). That couldn't be it though, L was a bratty kid himself, but all pictures of him had the same dry, thin, flat, pale, typical male lips, past and now. Maybe it was his English blood. L stiffened when something leaned onto his side.
'I wanna go out,' he whined. 'With Papa.'
'We cannot risk letting you out,' L said. 'Now, detach yourself from me.'
'Is it because of villains?' Light asked, stepping away and tilting his head questioningly. L didn't respond, or glance at him, instead shoving more sweet stuff in his mouth. Looking at the kid for too long made him want to squeeze his cheeks and offer him everything he wanted. 'I said with Papa, not you.'
'I do not see how that is related to all this,' L said, failing to ignore the boy any longer.
Light sneered at him, making L feel like a stupid child. 'Because Papa will protect me from villains,' he stated, indeed. 'Not with you because a villain could probably KO you with one punch.'
'Why would ANYONE even want to attack you,' L sniped.
Light spread an arm casually. 'It is simple, my father is the NPA Chief,' he said, his bright eyes glinting proudly. Once again proving that he was not just all fluffy looks and endearing manner, the boy was quite clever. 'If someone kidnapped me Papa would be in a lot of trouble, Sir Detective.'
L was suddenly feeling as though the title was mocking him, Light had such a way of speaking that he could express many things in a word. L couldn't do it in a hundred years. And that last part. This, this... b-rat was... It was not as if L couldn't have figured that out himself, he had just wanted to knock the boy down a bit. The kid instead used his own words against him. L wanted to growl, growl so badly.
And wring the boy's neck dry.
And then, just like that, he smiled, the area between his eyes pinking, his eyes glimmering and white teeth sparkling. Ahh, the resentment drained away, L wanted to offer the boy his own smile, but other than a close-lipped smile, all his smiles were creepy.
L glared at him.
'Are we going out?' he asked, pleasantly. 'I want to get candy apples.'
L would have sworn that his ears twitched. Candy apples? hein? what? did he just hear candy apples? His grey eyes rolled to the boy, who nodded. Could Light also read minds? That wouldn't surprise L, after all, he had already transformed into a brat.
'I will keep on asking until you relent, Sir Detective.'
This time L succeeded on ignoring him, simply asking himself if the boy actually really knew what "relent" meant.
'I want to also see Mama,' Light said. 'You could come, I know she would like to feed you something, you look very hungry. Especially with your eyes.'
L washed away the thoughts of green vegetables with a mouthful of tooth-aching sweetness. 'I eat just fine.'
'My mom cooks the best Brownies ever,' Light said.
The word Brownies was seductive, L deadpanned heavily. Sachiko's Brownies were rich with flavour and flavour and sweetness and sweetnessnessing flavour. On a monitor. Now imagine the real thing.
'She even has different ways of making them,' he continued. 'Mama is the best cook ever.'
That was something L knew, watching (through those cameras, of course) as Yagami Sachiko served her family desserts had been pure torture, especially when Light's family would never go for second servings. Watching dessert left untouched was an abomination. Plus those Brownies. Those Brownies. Crumbly, gooey, firm, soft. The glistening pies. The thick ice cream. L used to wish he could dive into the screen and serve himself whilst the uptight son and, sometimes, father served themselves only one helping. There was just something special about homemade food that was more appealing than purchased food. Did he mention that she also made regular dishes that were incredibly, positively sweet to look at? L had nearly cried at the sight of the honey-glazed chicken that one time.
Food served at the Yagami household could actually be the first food he had wanted to taste.
Going out was sounding more tempting.
'Are you trying to bribe me, Rai-chan?' he demanded, returning his thoughts to the fact that the kid liked candy apples. L generally associated apples with Light (Kira).
'No,' he said, aghast. 'Bribery is despicable!'
L issued him an unimpressed stare.
'I am merely telling you,' Light explained. 'Of all the goods you are missing, when staying cooped up in front of your computers.'
'No one is going out, Light-kun. And that is that.'
The boy placed the pillow on the table and climbed into a chair. 'You will get to see my baby Sayu,' he offered. 'She is an angel.'
Good looks ran in the family. L wanted to roll his eyes.
'Then we can visit Yamamoto and go to the park. There is the hugest jungle gym ever!'
L's eyes sighed, his deadpan so painfully flat, unless he relented, the boy was going to do this relentlessly.
What was a jungle gym, by the way? L had never heard of the thing before. He could search it up, but seeing it in person sounded better. No. No.
Bad thoughts.
Something tugged his sleeve. 'Sir?'
L glanced down, his eyes shooting bqck immediately when he caught sad eyes.
Dangerous. That look was dangerous.
'Light-kun,' he ordered. 'Eat your breakfast and stop pestering me, I'm dangerous when angry.'
(Goo-goo)
(Ba-ba)
Overdue Update. Sorry.
This chapter was typed when my friend came over, crying about an overdue update she owed her readers, surprising me, because she had disappeared off to Scotland. Which motivated me to type a new chapter. She's the one who edited the story and made conversations longer and more interesting, turning it from a 2503 word chapter to what it is now. Thanks again, girl.