He Doesn't Speak Goo-goo

by Luciana.is.mename

Ryūk was summoned back to the Shinigami realm by their leader and had to take his Death Note as he left. This was fine by Light, what wasn't fine by the Yagami was the consequences that thereafter followed. Cast under a curse, his body transformed into that of an 4-year-old, with not much of his memories. The Task Force now get their hands full trying to keep it secret.

9. Ryūk the Wise

Ryūk, feeling quite grand, had phased through the wall and waited for the detective to leave. The shinigami couldn't risk being seen yet..

He had to plan this carefully, you know. Ryūk's plans always had to been planned thoroughly, always.

The winged creature chuckled and phased back into the room, grinning at the cameras - those things wouldn't give him away, even if someone had touched his Note. They couldn't capture an image of him even if they scanned the room with lasers and any of those fancy human gadgets, that was just how life was. This was going to be very good. He just needed time to plan what he'll tell the pale human when the detective saw him. And a thousand ideas were running through his brain and he couldn't decide which one he wanted to use. Yeah, he was feeling grand and smart.

Really, to be honest, there was only two ideas in his head right now, or three... Ryūk was not sure. He scratched his head and tried to think more clearly, failing naturally. Well, you tell him if you could use his brain better than he does - not everyone had a nice head of brains and most certainly not a shinigami.

The creature struck a pose and scratched his cheek, finally deciding on one thing.

He'll just go with the flow, like always. Whatever came to be, was to be.

He wasn't really good at enacting his plans either, you know, whether he had thought about it or not. That meant he was not sure if he should go see L or just wait for the guy to see him... hmm, what to do? Wait, not another thinking session, Ryūk groaned silently. This was happening to him more and more than was usual ever since he came back here.

At least he was not bored, Ryūk thought about Death Row and shuddered, he was never going to go back to that place. Never. Ryūk will just stay here. Yeah, that sounded like a nice plan. He will stay here, and when Light died, he'll stay with his kids - who shall most likely be law-adoring brats, like all Yagami forefathers, but being geniuses? Ryūk was not too sure, after all just cause your dad was a genius didn't mean you'll also be one. Or maybe Ryūk was just a tad bit sore he was surrounded by clever humans whilst he was an idiot and felt satisfied at knocking Light's children down a bit.

Who said Light would even have brats?

Ryūk chuckled. If the boy didn't get children then he'll convince him to adopt an apple tree. So that he won't be lonely - not because Ryūk was the legendary apple taster.

Now that was a plan he could certainly stick to.

'I'm assuming-'

Ryūk started at the voice, jumping and crossing his arms in front of him, his eyes going to the spot in front of him. It was L.. with a lolly in his mouth.

L stared at him calmly and repeated what he was going to say. 'I'm assuming you're Ryūk, right?'

Oh, man! Ryūk whined, berating himself for his stupidity. Now I missed the opportunity to scare him! He blurted out his first thoughts. 'How long have you been standing there?'

'Long enough to come to terms with the fact that I am not, in fact hallucinating,' he replied, chewing the lollipop. 'What are you?'

Ryūk chuckled darkly.

'I have a lot of questions I want to ask,' he continued, making Ryūk question if the human actually thought he cared about that. 'But we may start with that.'

Ryūk spread his wings and floated into the air, laying horizontally and grinning. It was his time to shine.

'What do you think I am, human?' he asked, pitching his voice deeper. Lesson one: be mysterious.

'I gathered that you are a shinigami, with all this trouble about Kira.'

Lesson two: be wise. Ryūk stroked his chin, vaguely wishing he had a beard. 'Hmm, how clever, yes, one could say that I am a shinigami..'

'What are you doing here? Is Light-kun Kira? Is that why you are haunting him?'

Ryūk chuckled slowly, like an ancient man feeling his wiseness and enjoying it. 'Light-o is not Kira, I am.'

After all, if Light was found out, he'll be put to death and Ryūk might as well say goodbye to adopting an apple tree. Plus, this was more fun.

'You are Kira?' L asked, glaring at the skeletonal (who cares if it was not a word - he could justify himself by say the Yagami brat had said it too) creature.

'Yes, I am. Did you seriously think that a human gained powers and began killing off other humans?' he demanded, stroking his chin slowly.

L brought his thumb up to his mouth, not ready to be beat. 'Of course I did.'

'Hmhmhm.' Ryūk shook his head wisely. 'Well you are wrong, mortal.'

'If you are Kira, as you claim to be, then why are you going around killing criminals?'

'The feared one sent me,' he replied. He had nearly said You-Know-Who, but that might make the human doubt his words.

'Sent you.. why?'

Ryūk wanted to laugh so badly. 'No reason, he just wanted a new army of souls,' he answered benevolently.

'That's why you began killing criminals?'

'No, I would have began killing everyone in my sight, you humans are lucky you have a Light-o Yagami,' he said, thinking, The kid might consider adopting two trees, since I am lying for him.

L wanted to scoff. 'Lucky?'

'I met him perchance,' he said, stroking his chin. 'It was just happenstance that I glimpsed him and took note of the brilliance shining in him.'

Ryūk was using words he had never used before!

L stared at him blankly.

'I allowed him to see me, and he told me about justice and criminals, who deserved death more than the innocent population. Thus began the reign of Kira.'

Ryūk grinned. 'Then you had to come ruin everything.'

L glared at him. Well screw you, too. He turned around and left the room, which he had walked in earlier to check on Light. L was going to complain to Watari about the case, like he always did.

This was so, not fair.

...

Aizawa was surprised when, come morning, Light ambled over to him after greeting his father and smiled at him. It was not an ordinary routine, usually the boy greeted his father when they entered the room and clung to him for an hour before suddenly remembering that there were others and greeting them. Then he'd go pester L about going out or doing something interesting. They were, easily, the background, secondary characters, props and such.

Aizawa nonetheless answered, feeling quite special that morning, and walked along to go sit at his usual place and search for anything concerning Kira. Which always resulted in fan websites and nonsense from the public nowadays.

Tiny footsteps followed him, making the man halt for a second and look back - he found Light, who smiled at him. Aizawa run his fingers through his afro, four indentations reminding him why he never liked doing that. He walked forth again, thinking maybe it was just a coincidence. Light followed again, making him actually stop and turn around.

Aizawa was surprised, again. 'Rai-chan?' he called. 'Is there anything I can help you with?'

Please say no and go away. Please say no and go away.

Light smiled and nodded his head. 'I am bored,Uncle,' he stated.

Aizawa smiled stiffly. 'Is that so..?'

Light nodded again, a steady smile still steadily fixed on his face, and rocked back and forth on the heel and ball of his feet. He hummed gaily.

Aizawa looked around, noticing L and the Chief, who looked as though they were trying not to glare at him. Aizawa huffed, it was not like as if he wanted to hang around the boy - especially not after apples started disappearing and floating around him (Aizawa had legged it for a nearby temple as soon as he left the building and prayed more intensely than he had ever prayed his whole life... ehe..). The man wisely walked to his chair and sat down, deciding to simply wait for the kid to get tired of being in his presence. God forbid anything paranormal happens.

Too bad he underestimated the child.

'Uncle Aizawa?' Light called, his elbows on the man's lap, his head tilted up in two hands.

Aizawa inwardly shrinked, he used to enjoy looking after the kid (especially if he came to the police station), but after the fiasco yesterday... 'Raito?'

'You are not typing,' he informed, a smile tucked in his cheeks, as if he knew exactly why the man was not typing.

'I am thinking,' he said. Trying to remember how to exorcise spirits and protect yourself from a curse.

'What are you thinking about?' he asked, curiosity pitching his voice.

'The case we are working on,' he said. Most certainly not anything bad about you.

'Who is the bad guy you guys are trying to capture?'

Aizawa wanted to squirm. 'That's what we're trying to find out.'

'Is that why I am here?'

What I'd like to ask is when are the questions ending? Aizawa glanced at L, who was watching them in that annoying manner of his.

'You could say that,' he said with a shrug of his shoulder.

'Have you gathered any clues yet?'

Light's eyes shone at the question, his lashes throwing shadows over his half of his eyes.

Aizawa's shapely mouth turned down at the corners. He did not even consider lying. 'I did not, Ryūzaki is the one who did most of the work, gathering clues, offering the theory that Kira might be a human, getting us a main... suspect.'

Light looked doubtful, he threw Ryūzaki a glance and turned back to Aizawa. 'He probably stole the clues from my Dad's team.'

Aizawa glanced at the Chief, as if saying: Help me out of this conversation, dammit!

Light hummed, smiling. 'So what does this bad guy do? Does he steal? or kill?'

'I suggest you begin working, Aizawa-san,' L's voice cut through their conversation.

'Uncle said he was thinking,' Light said, standing up straight with a hand on his hip. 'I consider that as working, Sir.'

'He should then consider putting his thoughts on the monitor,' L retorted. 'As we all are.'

Light waved a hand, an action his older self did much more better, but despite all the cuteness it was still elegant. 'At least he powered his computer, Sir Ryū,' he remarked. 'Your computer is still shut down.'

L's eyes lingered on Light's back for a moment longer before he turned his head around and switched his computer on. Ouch..

Light smiled and leaned onto Aizawa again. 'Where were we?'

Aizawa wanted to sigh. He was used to carrying children on his lap and children pestering him because he had some children of his own. But this was Light Yagami they were talking about! Not an ordinary kid, if you didn't know.

'Am I disturbing you, Uncle?' he asked softly, his mouth curving down sadly.

Aizawa (he was blaming this on his paternal instincts) did not have the heart to say no to him. 'No, of course not, Rai-chan, how could you ever disturb me?'

'If that is the case, good, then,' he said, a smile colouring the area between his brows.

Aizawa immediately regretted lying, why hadn't he just said the truth? He should have payed attention when his grandmother used to warn him about lying. Aizawa shifted awkwardly and opened a file, dearly wishing the boy would get tired of lingering around him.

'Say, Uncle Aizawa,' Light began.

Aizawa grunted in answer, trying not to groan.

'Can my hair become like yours?' he asked, tilting his head. 'All nice and big?'

Aizawa's eyes went to the blonde hair, which only curved slightly at the ends. The day his hair became an afro would be the day pigs began speaking.. 'That is impossible, unless you perm your hair - or something,' he replied, doubting himself.

Perms only gave curls, right? Aizawa was hoping he was right and you could perm your hair into as wild an afro as his. Lying to a kid was something he was not too fond of doing. Unless it did them good.

'May you tell me a story?' he asked.

'I am a bit busy,' he muttered.

'How about you read me one?' Light improvised.

'As I said,' Aizawa responded. 'I am a bit busy, Rai-chan.'

'You said you are a bit busy,' he pointed out logically. 'I do not think that that is very busy, at all.'

That made Aizawa remember just how smart the boy could be, catching a smirk from L at the corner of his eyes. Damn detective... 'Pardon me, I meant I am a very busy right now, Raito.. but Ryūzaki seems to have a lot of time on his hands today, he hasn't even opened a single file.'

Light turned to glance at the detective, who was staring at Ryūk. 'No, Ryūku wants to speak to him, and he is boring today, he keeps on glaring at Ryūku and saying something about a guy named.. Kira?'

He looked back at him. 'You should stop trying to get rid of me Uncle Aizawa, I'm going to stay here until lunchtime.'

Great.

'Say, Uncle,' he began. 'May you let me use your computer? Sir Ryū never lets me use his.'

'What will you do if I let you use it?'

'Type.' He shrugged. 'What else?'

'Paint? Play games?'

Light stared at him.

'...What will you type?'

'I do not know, but I feel like I know what to do with it, if I want.'

Aizawa glanced at the time on his computer - ten minutes had barely just passed. Oh, joy.

...