This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.


Word Count: 1519

Title: What I Miss

Note: AU! Sort of everyone lives.

Warnings: angst, manipulation, blackmail

Beta: Aya Diefair


Golden Snitch

[Name] Crissie

[School] Uagadou

[House] Ogyinae

Pancake Tuesday: about Severus Snape


Hogwarts

Assignment 5: Ritual & Ceremonial Magic: Handfasting: Task 2. The binding may be done for just a year or so and renewed annually, or the fasting may be valid for as long as they love one another or forever. - Write about being reunited with an old love


It was twilight, and Sirius was watching the full moon outside his window, eating his favourite sweet and sour pork from the take away Chinese food place down the road. He sighed dramatically, he wondered if Remus was even missing him. He knew that Remus would have transformed, and was probably all alone in his apartment. Sirius hated that they broke up, and he was furious that Remus had done this to him.

What could Remus possibly be thinking that he would tell Sirius they were over? And out of the blue like that? He thought they were doing well.

"Why? Why would you do this to me?" Sirius cried, and threw a chopstick at the wall, making a mess of his kitchen floor.

"Shit," he added, standing up from the white barstool that was at a long bar counter where he ate. His kitchen was more like a glorified bar. He didn't take the whole cooking thing seriously at all.

Remus cooked, well, when they were together, but once a month they would get Chinese food from the place down the road. Sirius shrugged. He had no idea how his boyfriend had managed to cook in this place. He knew Remus would be in wolf form, so he didn't know why he decided to pull on a black cloak and go over to Remus's place. He sat down outside the door, hearing his ex-boyfriend's cries, it was almost light before Sirius could tear himself away from the door.


It took Sirius a while before he could smile again, but he still found himself wondering why Remus had chosen to leave. He couldn't understand it.

"Sirius," James said, looking at him. "Did you hear a word I just said?"

"Something about Harry, I imagine," Sirius said cheekily, earning himself a shove from his friend.

"I don't only talk about my wife and son," James insisted, yet even as he said it his eyes flickered over to the playground where Lily was playing with Harry in the sandbox with a large red truck.

"Of course you don't." Sirius laughed.

"Mate, I know Remus hurt you, but surely he can't be the only one for you," James said, and winced at the look of horror on Sirius's face.

"Of course he is the only one for me," Sirius insisted. "That's like saying that you would get over her leaving you." He nodded in the direction of the redhead. She was wearing Muggle clothing, that Sirius liked to refer to as "Mom clothes". He knew it couldn't be easy running after a toddler in robes, or a dress, so he didn't blame her.

"Do you want to know what I miss about him?" Sirius said, but he wasn't waiting for James to respond.

"Not really." James grinned cheekily.

"I miss his eyes light up when I say something stupid," Sirius started.

"I miss the dimple on his cheek when he smiles.

"I miss his stupid habit of hogging the sheets.

"I miss when we fight about whose turn it is to do the dishes.

"I miss snogging him senseless.

"I miss…" his voice trailed off at last, after his tirade lasted almost a minute without him pausing for breath.

"Then tell him, not me," James said simply.

"You think I haven't tried to talk to him?" Sirius cried indignantly.

"Well, have you?" James asked, raising his eyebrows at his best friend.

"I have tried to, I mean, what would I even say? I don't even know what went wrong," Sirius admitted finally.

A sudden laugh from Lily interrupted the conversation, and James's eyes looked over to his wife and son. "Oh goodness, I need a photograph of this," James said, pulling his camera out and walking over to his family.

"Oh Merlin," Sirius exclaimed. "What am I going to do?"


He walked down to the Chinese take away place again, and he opened the red door to see none other than Remus standing by the counter. Before he could chicken out and leave, he closed the door behind him with a gulp. He felt his heart start to race, palms turning sweaty.

"Thank you," he heard Remus say to the waiter, and he took a seat not far away from the pay counter. Sirius tried to act natural, but he slipped, and almost crashed to the floor if not for getting a grip on the nearest stationary object, which happened to be the table right in front of Remus. Remus looked up, startled, and so did the rest of the guests.

"Shit," Sirius muttered under his breath. Remus stood up slowly and walked towards him.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked, he seemed to be fighting against saying more.

"I—sure," Sirius said, checking his hands for cuts or scrapes.

"Um, that's good," Remus said.

"Do you still care?" Sirius asked in reply.

"Sirius, please," Remus said, turning around desperately as if someone was chasing him.

"Looking for someone else?" Sirius said, and then someone appeared that he never thought he would see again. It was none other than their childhood enemy.

"Black, what are you doing here?" Snape said, voice dripping with disdain.

"I could ask you the same thing," Sirius responded, his eyes flickering between Snape and Remus. Were they together? He felt like his heart might stop.

"I'm just getting food with my best chum, Remus, he loves this place," Snape responded haughtily. Sirius's eyes were on Remus, it was clear something about that retort made him uneasy.

"What are you up to Snape?" Sirius asked again, and a sudden flicker of some emotion crossed over Remus's face. That's it; Snape was behind all this, it all made sense now. He gave Remus a secretive wink, and the flushed face seemed to prove what he already suspected.

He walked over to the counter, in appearance to pay for his own food, but the man named Joan behind the counter recognized him.

"Sirius, as I live and breathe," the Asian man said to him.

"Joan, nice to see you again," Sirius said, bowing to the man respectfully, as was the tradition between them. Sirius had a fleeting memory of the first time he met Joan, he was with Remus, and he was trying so hard to be polite that he made Joan laugh and say that he was just as much British as they were. Although every time after that, it was a small tradition of them to bow to each other when Sirius came in, and before he left.

"Is Remus with that man now?" Joan asked, nodding towards Snape's back as he disappeared through the door.

"I don't know," Sirius admitted. "But I intend to find out."

Joan rang up the usual order for Sirius. "Joan, I have a plan, do they come in here often?"

"They have been here a few times." Joan shrugged.

"What if I send him a secret message in a fortune cookie?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, that's so romantic," Joan said with a smile. "Don't let my wife hear you; she already complains I don't spoil her enough."

Sirius laughed.


It wasn't long before Sirius received a message that his note and the fortune cookie had been given to Remus. Joan said that Remus was smiling from ear to ear when he opened the secret message.

Remus showed up at the hotel, and Sirius felt his suspicions confirmed.

"What's wrong? Why did you tell me to come here?" Remus asked, looking around frantically. It was clear something was making Remus uneasy, and Sirius needed to know the truth. If it was simply Remus's choice, why did he still look at him with such adoration in his eyes?

"I miss you, Remus," Sirius admitted, "What did Snape do?"

Remus sighed. "Oh, you noticed that, did you?"

"Of course, I love you," Sirius said simply.

"Even after what I did to you?" Remus asked.

"Forever."

"He is blackmailing me. He said I need to break up with you, he thinks he can use me to get closer to Lily, but she is way too smart for that."

"I knew it!" Sirius exclaimed. "I knew you still love me."

The two of them fell into each other's arms, kissing passionately before breaking apart.

"Come home with me," Sirius said.

"If he finds out," Remus shuddered. Sirius was suddenly furious; he wouldn't be above killing the scumbag if he tortured his true love.

"He won't, we will deal with this together, promise," Sirius said encouragingly, holding the other man against his chest.

That night he fell asleep holding Remus against him, and during the night he awakened without any blankets, his little wolf had stolen the sheets, he grinned to himself before softly reaching for the blanket on the floor, pulling it over him. As long as he had Remus, he wouldn't complain about bedsheets or dishes, he would treasure this man for the rest of their lives, and he fell asleep plotting on what to do about the Slytherin that had taken his lover from him. He was going to regret ever crossing a man like Sirius Black.