XXXIV

NICO

Nico was aware that he was dreaming. Everything around him was white, white that stretched out forever. Then there were voices. Voices that seemed to bounce off from non-existent walls, and struck a chord in Nico's heartstrings.

Okay, but are we really official now?

He tried to search for the voice turning around wildly, but there was no one out there. He was all alone and the voice was everywhere.

If that's what you want.

Nico paused. He recognized his own voice.

It also involved what you want

"Who are you?!" Nico shouted.

All right, let's do this. I just want to be with you. End of discussion.

"Who is this someone I want to be with!" He shouted desperately. "Please tell me."

So what do you prefer, boyfriend? Partner? Significant other?

Significant annoyance in your case.

Nico fell to his knees and clutched the side of his head while his eyes were tightly shut. "Please. . . I want this to end... I'm so confused. . ."

What in Hades are you doing?

Nico opened his eyes and looked up. He was in front of the revolving door he had seen at Jupiter Half-Blood Hospital. The guy in black was there again in the revolving door. The guy walked towards Nico. And Nico finally recognized the guy.

The guy was himself.

My way of killing time. Come on.

His other self was looking at someone behind Nico as he held out his hand. Nico looked back but there's nothing but white.

You have a strange way of killing time, di Angelo.

There it was again, the voice.

His surroundings shifted. The whiteness of his surroundings faded. He found himself standing in the middle of a helipad of a big building. There was a blinding light in front of him. He squinted his eyes and raised his arm to his face to shield his eyes from the blinding light. Then the blinding light subsided. Nico got a glimpse of a figure standing not too far from him.

He couldn't recognize the figure because he was obscured by the light.

But then the figure held out his hand to Nico.

Nico walked towards the figure as he tried to squint more. It was like a blurry image of a guy with blond hair.

Before he could reach the figure, he was gone and Nico was falling from that building.

Nico's eyes snapped open. He bolted upright from his bed. He was breathing heavily and sweat trickled down his cheek. His heart was beating wildly in his chest as if wanting to get out from his ribcage. He tried to calm down his breathing as his eyes adjusted to the dark and roamed around his semi-chaotic room. It was such a contrast to his dream full of light and white. When he was sure that his heart return to its normal rate and his breathing got even, he turned his head at the digital clock on the bedside table. It was two in the morning.

Nico stood up and headed out of the room. He went first to Hazel's room to check on her. She was sleeping peacefully. He quietly closed her door. He had insisted that she should stay in Manhattan for the time being so he could keep an eye on her, and make sure she would get the rest she needed.

He went to the kitchen and got himself a mug of cold water and drank. He dragged a chair from the table and sat. He contemplated his dream.

What is it that I have forgotten? Or is it a person? A person, whom I want to be with... .?

"You're going out?" Hazel, still in her night robes, noticed Nico all dressed in black t-shirt and jeans and a low cut black converse.

"Yep," Nico said. He approached her sister and touched her forehead with his palm. "You're fever's gone. I'll be out for a moment, you okay alone here? I heated some leftovers in the microwave."

Hazel shook her head smiling as she swatted his arm away. "Di Angelo, I'm not a kid. I'm a full-grown woman who can take care of herself."

"Uh-huh," Nico nodded as he turned around. He walked towards the full body length mirror standing beside the unopened boxes in the living room. "You can really take care of yourself that you ended up in the hospital."

Hazel narrowed her eyes at his brother as she sat on the sofa and picked a random magazine underneath the coffee table. She opened it. "And where are you going early in the morning, you're not even finished arranging your things here."

Nico combed his quite long hair and tied it with an elastic band. "Just somewhere and don't worry, I'm going to finish arranging them later." Then he turned around at her sister and pointed his index finger at her. "And don't you dare do it, you need to rest as the doctor said."

"Aye, aye captain." Hazel nodded absentmindedly as she flipped through the pages of the magazine. Then she paused and gasped. "I knew it!" She looked up at Nico, eyes wide and sparkling with excitement. "Speaking of the doctor. I know now where I've seen Dr. Solace!"

Nico tilted his head inquiringly. "Where?"

"Ta-da!" Hazel raised the opened magazine and pointed at the pages. "Here. He got featured here. This was an issue last year though."

Nico sat beside her sister. Hazel gave him the magazine. True enough. There was a full-body shot of Will Solace in one page and an article about him in the next. Nico admitted he looked handsome there.

"He must be famous," Nico noted.

"Yes, because he is the youngest skilled surgeon to date. He's really intelligent that he got accelerated in his studies while he was in Medical school. Read it. It was all there. Besides, he's also selfless when he had saved someone in a burning building last year. He's cool isn't it?" Hazel narrated admiringly.

"But then," Hazel continued, "despite his success, he looks so... sad." She pointed at Will's face on the page. "Look, he's smiling but his eyes looked so dull. He's got beautiful light blue eyes but it wasn't shining. I noticed the same yesterday when we were there. I wonder why. . ."

Nico was standing in front of Jupiter Half-blood Hospital. This was where he had intended to go. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the revolving door in front of him. That door was frighteningly similar to the door in his dreams. If he had been here before, who had he talked to in this hospital? Had he known someone in there?

He walked towards the revolving door and pushed the door but instead of going in, he walked in circles, like what he did in his dreams. He looked up.

What was I doing here before? Why was I here? Did I really go here before my brain messed up?

"What are you doing?"

Nico paused and looked at the direction of the voice. Standing not from afar was Will Solace. This time he was wearing a simple green t-shirt and faded jeans instead of his usual scrub shirt. A leather body bag was slung over his shoulder.

"My way of killing time. Come on." Nico's mouth was saying before he could fully think about it.

Then Nico froze.

What did I say?

Why did I say that?

Nico stared at Will who had this blank expression on his face. All of sudden, everything around them seemed to disappear as if they were the only two standing there. The lobby, the revolving door and all the people in there gone. Suddenly, Nico's chest seemed to constrict, He couldn't breathe again. The same feeling he had experienced the first time he had gone here. Or was it really the first time? Maybe not? He didn't know, he couldn't remember and it hurt not to remember anything. He clutched his chest.

What in Hades are you doing?

My way of killing time. Come on

The voices echoed again.

Nico fell to his knees as he continued to clutch his chest.

What is this feeling?

A feeling of devastating loss for something important, something I treasured the most. But what is it? Why do I feel so sad about it? Why does it always hurt?

Then he felt strong arms grabbed both of his arms. He looked up. Will Solace was talking to him but Nico couldn't hear him.

Will Solace

Who are you?

Because, this bittersweet feeling is back again, something I used to feel when I was dreaming about blond hair and blue eyes.

Perhaps, it was you all along?

Nico vaguely remembered another single tear slid down his cheek before promptly passing out.