A/N Again, I got nothin', hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 13

Apartment 4B, 8 PM, Wednesday, April 11, 2012

They were both silent for several seconds, looking at each other. Finally Leonard said, "I don't think we're going to solve this very quickly, how about we order a pizza, I'm getting hungry."

Penny said, "Yeah, OK, that sounds good, I'm getting hungry too."

Leonard pulled out his phone and called, he ordered a pizza and a large salad he planned on splitting with Penny. After ordering, there was an uncomfortable silence. They both were looking at their phones, thinking, each trying to decide what to say to ease into the subject.

After about five minutes, Leonard said, "Hey, wait a minute. How do they know they are moving the show to New York? You haven't even found out if the shows will be on in the fall."

Penny looked down, "They told me that today. The show has been picked up, partially because of the Warner Brothers thing. Which is why it needs to go to New York."

Leonard had no answer to that, so they both fell silent again. The pizza arrived about ten minutes later, Leonard paid for it, and took it to the table, where Penny was already sitting and put it down. Leonard got bowls to split the salad, then they each grabbed a couple of pieces and started eating.

They were silent while they ate, Leonard was running several things through his mind, but he still didn't have it straight enough to try to explain it. He continued eating, and thinking, until things became clear. However, he knew if he plunged right into it, Penny would shut down. While he finished eating, he thought of a way to ease into the subject.

They finished cleaning up, put the leftover pizza in the box, then put the box on the counter. They sat at the table, taking sips of their wine. Leonard finally said, "Penny, can I ask you something, without you jumping down my throat or freaking out?"

Penny's mind froze for an instant. He had to be getting ready to talk about where they relationship was going, and she started feeling that familiar fear. She realized that it was something they were going to have to talk about, if there was any chance of figuring out how they were going solve their problem, but it still scared her.

Penny took a deep breath, thinking about it. She was quiet for so long, Leonard thought she wasn't going to answer. Finally she said, "I think I can do that, Leonard. I'm not going to tell you I won't freak out, or get upset. But, if you can bear with me for a little while, if I do freak out or get upset, if you give me a bit to work through it, I'm willing to try. Hell, I want desperately to try."

Leonard nodded, and Penny said, "Go on."

"Penny," started Leonard, "you know talking about going to New York together, or trying to figure out what we can do to get through this, means a really big commitment on both our parts."

Penny nodded.

"But, what kind of commitment?" said Leonard.

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said," said Leonard. "What kind of commitment are we talking about? Living together? Maybe getting engaged or even married. And if neither of those, what?"

"I don't know," said Penny. "It's probably something we should think and talk about, but I think it's too early to get engaged. Definitely too early to get married. Living together? I don't know. When would we have to live together?"

Leonard paused, and thought for a few seconds. "I suppose it's going to depend on what we decide we're going to do about the show moving to New York. Do you want to talk about that first, and then talk about our relationship? Or do we talk about where our relationship is, then talk about how we solve the problem with the show moving, based on that?"

"Let's talk about living together," said Penny. "I mean getting engaged and married is down the road."

Leonard said, "The only thing that would involve living together is if we both go to New York. Is part of you not wanting me to come with you to New York, a fear of us living together?"

"I don't think so," said Penny. "But, I mean you know about my commitment problems, who's to say? But, to be honest, I wasn't thinking about us living together when I said I didn't want you to go to New York, I was thinking about you giving up your work."

"But, why are you afraid of living together, here?" said Leonard.

"I don't know, I guess it could be my track record."

"What track record?" asked Leonard. "You only lived with Kurt, right?"

"Yes, he is the only one I lived with," said Penny, "and you know how that went. Even not counting the cheating, he was pretty terrible to live with. There were times I was afraid."

"He didn't hit your or anything did he?" asked Leonard, sounding concerned.

"No," said Penny, "he never hit me, but he was pretty overwhelming, physically, and sometimes, when we fought, I would get scared."

Leonard smiled, "You don't think I would, or could, do anything physically to you, do you?"

Penny smiled back, "No, but I guess spending all that time together might get me to thinking."

"Well, don't think about that, think about what we're doing right now," said Leonard. "We're together all the time, when were not working. I eat here, I have clothes here, I sleep here. About the only thing of mine that isn't here are my computer and whiteboards. But, even there, I bring them over here to work sometimes. So why are you worried about us living together? Hell, we're doing it already."

Penny thought about that for a minute. She ran though a checklist in her mind, similar to the one she had used with Leonard when Stephanie was there. I didn't realized Leonard was living here. Dammit, he is living here, how did I miss that? Maybe it's because I wasn't thinking about it, so it didn't bother me. If I'm living it, and it doesn't bother me, what does that mean, and why should knowing make a difference?

She continued thinking about it for a bit longer, then said, "You're right Leonard, we have been basically living together. At least there wouldn't be that much of a change if you moved everything over here, except it would be more crowded. So, let's just say I wouldn't have a major problem with it. I'm sure I'd be able to get used to it, but I'm still not letting you quit your work here."

"We'll even if I don't quit here," said Leonard, "we still have to talk about our relationship. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"What do you mean?"

"Penny," said Leonard, "with you in New York, and me here, where exactly are we in our relationship? Obviously, right now we're boyfriend/girlfriend. But, beyond that, what is our status. Are we pre-engaged? If so, what exactly is that? I just don't know exactly where we are, and that's what I want to understand."

Penny didn't know how to answer that, and was silent.

"I mean I was in a long distance relationship and it didn't work."

Penny had an answer for that, her eyes flashing. "Yeah, I know. You had that girl you went to see, while you were still dating Priya. It was only after you found out Priya was cheating that you broke up with her. What about your cheating on Priya?"

"Yes, I was kissing her," said Leonard. "It wasn't one of my prouder moments. But, I didn't have sex with that girl, Priya had sex with her ex. There is a difference."

"I don't see one," said Penny. "The way you described it, the first time she kissed you, it was a surprise, and you just went along with it, I can see that being forgivable. What's not forgivable is that you went to her apartment, at a different time, fully intending to have sex with her."

"But, I did stop," said Leonard. "And, besides, that was different, that was Priya, not you."

"How is that different?" asked Penny. "You told me you didn't want to break up with her, because you loved her and could get married to her. Now, you say you love me, have evidently thought about marriage, how is that any different?"

"There is quite a bit of difference," said Leonard. "For one, I was just fooling myself. When she didn't tell me about her leaving, that pretty much ended the relationship, even though we tried. For another, we never talked about anything. Her leaving without telling me is the biggest example. It was a lot like you and I that first time we were together a couple of years ago. Do you realize how far we've come in the last six months?"

"Yes, we have," said Penny, a slight touch of anger in her voice. "I just don't want you to think that it would be OK with me. I've been cheated on, and kissing another woman, while we're engaged in a sexual relationship, ring or no ring, engagement or no engagement is cheating. I'm not putting up with that, got it?"

"What about you?" said Leonard. "All those stories you told me about sleeping with guys while you were dating someone else."

"Yeah, that was almost ten years ago," said Penny, sounding angry. "In your case, that was less than a year ago, so don't try to make them equal. Just remember I'm not putting up with it."

Leonard nodded, Penny continued, "So how far have we come?"

"You do remember during our first time together, don't you?" asked Leonard. "Not talking about what bothered us, fighting because of it. Misunderstanding each other, just because we wouldn't talk."

"Yeah?"

"Penny," said Leonard, "you do now realize we've been living together. And you, you were thinking of not going, to stay with me. And, look at us right now, right here, we're talking. We're trying to figure out what we're going to do, as a couple, about you possibly leaving. I didn't do that with Priya, we didn't do that before. I think that is a lot more intimate than just having sex."

Penny mouth moved, but nothing came out. She turned to look out of her window. There were two thoughts running through her mind. She was afraid of bringing them up, afraid of what Leonard would say, so it was a couple of minutes before she said anything.

"So tell me Leonard," said Penny, "what are we going to do?"

"For what?"

"From what you're saying, if we both go to New York, we'll have to live together," said Penny. "But, we know I'm not going to let you come along. So that leaves me going by myself, and it seems we should have some sort of commitment, but you know me. So what type of commitment are we going to have?"

Leonard looked down. Penny had to smile, she saw a glimpse of the shy, unsure Leonard she first met. As he raised his head, her smile disappeared. "Penny," he started, "I know you're not ready for anything formal. So, you promise you won't freak out?"

She nodded.

He chuckled, "I had to ask, I've seen the fear in your eyes several times." He became serious again, "How about we do this. If everything is moving along as well as it is now, what do you think about getting engaged, say about right around a year and a half from now?"

She felt the fear, but tried to hide it. "So, our commitment would be to agree to get engaged sometime next fall or winter? If things are going along as well as they are now?"

"Yeah," said Leonard, "and we could wait for a year or two to get married. That would put our engagement sometime in late 2013 and we would get married in 2015 or 2016. I think that gives us a commitment, but it's far enough out that you can feel comfortable. And, if you feel comfortable sooner, those dates can be moved up."

Penny thought about it for a while. It seems reasonable… another year or so for the engagement, and then possibly two more before the wedding. I'm sure I could handle that… I hope I can handle that. I mean, look at us living together, and me getting all upset thinking about leaving Leonard here. It still worries me, but yeah, this could work.

Penny nodded, "I don't know, Leonard. That does sound reasonable and like something I can handle. But, I'll be honest, it still scares me a little bit. Overall though, if I go, we would have an understanding that we get engaged next year and that sounds like a commitment I can be somewhat comfortable with."

"That doesn't sound like a rousing endorsement," said Leonard.

"I know," said Penny, "but look at it this way, would I even have been able to give you that a few months ago?"

Leonard actually chuckled, "No, I guess not. So, relationship wise, we go with this?"

"Yeah," said Penny, "I'm good with it like this. The question now, I guess, becomes how can we make it work?"

"I get some holiday breaks," said Leonard, "so I could come to New York for a few days when we get them."

Penny said,"I know we get some breaks every so often, a week or so. I should be able to fly back during those times."

"What do you mean?"

"There are times the writers have to catch up," said Penny. "As we can tape faster than they can write. So, I can come home whenever they need to get ahead with the writing."

Leonard sounded excited, "Really? I didn't know that, I was afraid I wouldn't see you until Thanksgiving, or possibly Christmas.

"Yeah," said Penny, "I was worried about that also, but I was more worried about not going or leaving you here."

"I suppose we'll be able to spend the holidays together."

"I know we get about four weeks off in December," said Penny. "And, of course, we have the summer off. I'll have to wait to get the full schedule."

"Will you be able to afford flying back and forth?"

"Yeah, don't forget how much I'm getting paid now," said Penny proudly. "Even with taxes and SAG dues and my agent's fee, I'll get more in a week, than I made in four months 'cause I'm getting a raise."

"What? You didn't tell me that, why?"

"We called my agent about the move and how that would affect my contract and what would be the payout if I didn't go to New York," said Penny. My agent mentioned how I would have to find a place to live and how I would have to fly back during hiatuses to take care of my affairs…"

"What affairs?"

"My bills, look in on my apartment, grab things I forgot to bring, that sort of thing."

"But, I can take care of your apartment," said Leonard. "I can mail anything you forget. Then I…"

"Leonard," said Penny, "be quiet. If I agree to go, my agent got me a five thousand dollar raise, per episode, to take care of all that, to pay for the flights back, so let me worry about that. All we have to wait for, is to find out the shooting schedule."

"I got a smaller raise…"

"Wait, you got a five thousand dollar raise, per episode, and you're calling that a smaller one?"

"Yeah, so?" said Penny. Leonard just shook his head.

Penny continued, "Anyway, as Warner Brothers has a place for me to live. I'll have to pay them, but it's much cheaper than what I would have to pay if I found one on my own. I'm making money by getting the extra five thousand, even if you count the extra expense of flying home when I'm able."

"And in between," said Leonard, "we can Skype, or call or message. So we should be able to see each other every day, even if it's through a phone."

"So," said Penny timidly, "I guess I can call them tomorrow and tell them I'll accept going to New York?" "Yes," said Leonard with a smile, "You'll be going to New York, to star in a TV show."

"Well, I'll be a costar," said Penny. "And, some other good news, you get to go to New York with me next month."

"Next month? What for?"

"It's called Upfronts," said Penny. "It's where the networks introduce their new shows, or have the casts of their top shows come and talk to the press and sponsors. They also try to sell as much of their add time as they can. As the only new CBS comedy, they wanted our cast to be there for an introduction and to talk to the press. But I can bring, someone, so, you're my plus one."

Leonard smile, "That's so cool, we…" Suddenly Leonard became serious. When is it? Howard's leaving to go to Russia for his flight to the space station."

"Ahhhh," said Penny scrunching up her face as she thought, "I think it's the week of the 14th… yeah, cause our presentation is the 16th."

"That's good," said Leonard. "Howard doesn't leave until the end of May or the first week of June. School's out by then also."

Leonard's face became serious, as did his voice. "Penny, I know something will come up, you may get worried about how things are going between us, we might get mad at each other, but if things happen, we need to talk about it, OK? Not let it fester. If we don't talk, it will just make it worse."

"OK, Leonard" said Penny with a smile, "I'll try to make sure if I feel like I'm freaking out, or starting to get worried about commitment, I don't close down. But, I really can't see anything that would cause me to not talk to you."

Leonard smile back at her and she said, "So, this felt like a small fight, want to head to the bedroom for some makeup sex?"

"Yeah, that sounds good to me," said Leonard rising and pulling Penny toward the bedroom.