A/N I'm still a few chapters behind my planned buffer, but I finished the first draft of a chapter (48), so, as I said, I'll publish a new chapter. I've already gotten about half way through the next, so there should be another published next week. I'll give the answer to the wordplay from the previous chapter in Chapter 33.

Chapter 32

Studio 44, 12:30 PM Wednesday September 19th 2012

The Table read was over, but there were still groups of people together, talking of various things. Penny was still seated at the table, writing some notes in her script. She heard someone next to her clear their throat and Penny looked up to see Brent standing there.

"Yes, Brent?" said Penny.

"I just wanted to tell you, I saw part of the screener."

"What about it?"

"I was at my agent's," Brent started, "and they were showing it to me. He was really impressed with you. I've got to say you were really good…no, very good. And I thought you might like to know."

Penny was looking at him, and for the first time she didn't feel like he was being creepy. Maybe he can dial it down. "Thank you, Brent, I appreciate it."

"You know how I know he meant it?" said Brent.

"No, how?"

"He wants me to see if you would be interested in coming to see him," said Brent, "about being your agent?"

"So that's why he said nice things," said Penny, "is that why you said what you said?"

"No, no," said Brent, "he really means it, otherwise he wouldn't have asked me to talk to you. As for me, no, you really are doing a great job."

"Well that's sweet," said Penny, "but, I've already signed a letter of intent with William Morris, and I have a meeting with the person who will probably be my agent. Jim, Kelli, and Jeanie are all with William Morris and they got to me last week. So tell him thank you for me, but I've already have something in place."

"Ok, no problem," said Brent. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Penny watched Brent leave, and thought, That wasn't so bad, he seemed actually, nice, for a change. I hope he doesn't change back. Penny picked up her script, her marker, her pencils and coffee, then walked to her dressing room.

Penny was thinking about the rest of her day. She was going to highlight her lines, then lunch with Beth, her prospective agent, then she had to come back because Jim and Kelli had set up two more interviews for her. Once she got home later today, she planned on trying several different tones and hesitations for each line. Then making her dinner, watching some TV, and then, of course, it was the night for that special Skype call with Leonard. She smiled at that thought

Apartment 314/4A, 9:30/6:30 PM Wednesday September 19th 2012

Penny and Leonard had been talking for over a half an hour. For the first 15 minutes, they just told each other how much they missed the other, how much they loved each other and how nice it was to see each other.

Finally, they started actually talking, although their talk was in between more "I Love You"s and blowing kisses at each other. Leonard was telling Penny about his research, and the progress, though limited, he had made, and Penny started telling Leonard about how her interviews had gone that afternoon.

"It was so cool, Leonard," said Penny. "I did the first one, it took about an hour, then I got a break and the next person came in, and that took an hour. It's funny, they all ask about my childhood, about moving to California, about if I'm seeing anyone."

"And you said?"

"I told them about this fantastic physicist that works at Caltech, but since you weren't a big star, they quickly lost interest in talking about that."

"I'm glad I'm so interesting," said Leonard, with a hint of sarcasm. "They don't ask about the show?"

"They rarely ask me about the show, but both of them did today," said Penny "It seems that since the screener came out, everyone wants to know how I learned how to do all of that."

"Screener?"

"Yeah, CBS has put out a CD of the first few episodes," said Penny, "this way the critics can have their articles ready right after the show is on. Or, it seems in my case, they like what they've seen of me and want to get to know me better."

"What do they think?"

Penny got a huge smile, "They really like me Leonard. They are telling me how great I'm doing. How my comments and facial expressions are so funny. That they are the highlight of the show, which makes me feel bad at times."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the star," said Penny. "Jeanie and Dave are the ones who are leading this show. And, Jeanie is the one that is helping me, get to where I can do all those things."

"But, you are still doing those things," said Leonard, "so that's what they are seeing."

"I suppose," said Penny. "It does feel good that they are thinking and saying nice things about me. Kelli told me there's a lot of talk, about me, in the business right now. Most of it is good, but with all the problems I'm having, on set, I just can't believe it."

"Well," said Leonard excitedly, "the first episode is on tomorrow night. I can't wait to see you on television for the first time. I also can't wait for everyone else to see how good your are."

"I know, I can't wait," said Penny excitedly. "Is everyone there going to be watching tomorrow?"

"No, it's just going to be me tomorrow, and Amy and Sheldon with me again on Friday," said Leonard.

"Oh, isn't everyone coming over?" asked Penny, sounding disappointed.

"No," said Leonard. "Amy has some sort of academic thing and Sheldon is going with her. Raj, I think, is staying home. Bernadette got sick just before Howard came home from the space station, and now she's given it to Howard. They are both down with what sounds like the flu."

"What about you?" Asked Penny, now sounding sad.

Leonard could tell she was upset, "I'll be watching, I wouldn't miss it. Even though, you did tell us it would be the same as what we saw during the taping."

"I would still think you would all be watching."

"Penny," said Leonard, "Amy had to attend either this week or next week, she chose this week, so she could be here with you next week. Howard and Bernadette are sick, so I'd rather they get well and come next week, especially since you'll be here. Raj, he's really only been coming over if others are here. We seem to have drifted apart, since…er…that night last year."

Penny knew exactly what he was talking about, and felt guilty.

Leonard continued, "With all that, they decided to do everything they could this week, so they could be here when you came home, next week."

"I suppose that makes sense," said Penny, "I guess I should be happy they want to be there with me."

"They wanted to be here so they could watch it with you. And remember," said Leonard, "next week will be a new one to everyone except you, you'll be able to tell us all about what went on."

Penny's mood got better, "Oh, Ok, that's so great they want to be there with me. Thank's for explaining it for me, it makes a lot more sense now. Thank you, Leonard. I guess that it is better, so tell everyone thank you for me."

"I will," said Leonard. "We're planning dinner for everyone around seven, that will give us time to clean up and then we'll be ready to watch at eight. You really didn't think they didn't want to watch your show, do you?"

"Well, I wasn't sure, I guess since they've seen it before, I can see why they may not want to watch again."

"Oh, they are watching, even if it's not when it's on," said Leonard. "They are all planning on recording it. Amy and Sheldon will be here Friday to watch it with me. Of course it will be my second time."

Penny smiled. "OK, now I feel all right about them not watching tomorrow. Thank you sweetie. Just wait until I get home Wednesday morning, I'll make sure you get thanked then."

Leonard smiled back at her, "You have everything ready for the trip home?"

"Yep, got the car scheduled to pick me up at one AM, got my ticket, and I'll be heading to JFK about two hours after we finish."

"And I'll be there at LAX, to pick you up," said Leonard. "I can't wait to get you home."

Penny got her wolfish grin, "Well, then, how about you take me to your room, right now, and I can show you what you're going to get when I get there."

"Why my room, why not right here?"

"Leonard," said Penny, "it's comic book night an I'm guessing Sheldon will be home shortly."

Leonard looked at the clock, "Yeah, he and Amy should be home in …"

"Then take me to your room," said Penny.

Leonard picked up his computer, and headed for his bedroom.

Studio 44, Ten AM Thursday September 20th 2012

Penny was waiting in her chair on the studio floor, waiting for the usual meeting to start the day. Right at ten, Kelli, Jim, Sam, and Steven came out together, all of them smiling. Jim called for everyone's attention.

"Ok," Jim said, "listen up everyone. Were going to do things a bit different today. Normally we block the show, then run the scenes several times. After lunch, we then do several run throughs, where we stop and fix blocking and or fix anything else."

"But, as you are all aware, our first show is on tonight. Kelli and I, along with Steven, have some people that want to talk to us, before the show runs. So, today, what we are going to do is do the blocking, then run the scenes a couple of times to find any major problems. Any other problems we can fix tomorrow."

"We hope to be finished by two-thirty this afternoon, and that includes a half hour lunch. We've got the order of the scenes set up. Dave, Brent, neither of you are in the first three scenes. For those, we will have Jeanie and one or our guest stars first, although that is the second scene. Then have Penelope and Jeanie, do their two scenes, then Dave and Brent's first two scenes. We'll go from there."

Penny was feeling good from the taping and from the interviews she had given. For her first two scenes, she quickly wrote down her blocking, then, as they worked the scene, she quickly forgot about it as they were running it back to back, so she had it in her mind, and didn't need to look at her script, except for lines.

After Dave and Brent's scenes, Penny and Jeanie did their third and fourth, and then everyone broke for lunch. After lunch, Jeanie and Penny had one scene with Dave and Brent, and they also had to wait on the Dave and Brent scenes, as they had the last scene of the day.

After they completed that, they both went to their dressing rooms, changed and headed home. Getting to their apartment, Penny reminded Jeanie they were going to dinner, and then watch the show. Penny got into her apartment, kicked off her shoes, and pulled out her iPad.

She was looking around for her interviews and was finding other articles that talked about her as an up and coming star. She wasn't even aware of these other articles, but it seem there were quite a few, and almost all of them had some nice comments about her. She was feeling pretty proud of herself as she continued to read new and different articles. At the end, there was one that was critical of her and wondered what all the fuss was, she hadn't even been on TV yet and from what the author had seen, there wasn't anything special about her. This ruined her good feeling about the other articles, and since she was going to be up late, waiting for a call from Leonard, she decided to take a nap.

Apartment 314, 7:30 PM Thursday September 20th 2012

As they entered Penny's apartment, Penny said, "I don't understand, why don't you want to watch the show?"

"I hate seeing myself act," said Jeanie.

"Why?"

"I'd rather not say," said Jeanie. "There are many actors who don't for the same reason I do. But, you may not be one of those and I don't want to put ideas in your head. I'll be here, while you watch, but I won't watch, I'll be on my iPad."

"Come on, tell me Jeanie," said Penny. "I'd rather you watch it with me, than look around for interviews and articles about yourself."

Jeanie chuckled, "I never look up stuff about myself."

"Why not?"

"Penny, how about we talk about this after the show tonight?"

"But I want to know why I shouldn't watch."

"I'll do this," said Jeanie. "I will write it down on a piece of paper, then after the show, you can look at it, and see if you agree with me. Then, we can talk about it, along with why I don't look myself up."

Penny looked at Jeanie quizzically, but nodded.

"Now that we have that settled," said Jeanie, "why don't you get us a glass of wine and we can turn the TV on."

Apartment 314, 8:15 PM Thursday September 20th 2012

The first half of the show was over, the commercials were on. Jeanie was at the dining table, looking at her iPad. Penny had come over, poured another glass of wine, and before heading back to watch the second half, said to Jeanie. "I hate this, I watch myself and I keep wincing, looking at the choices I made. I don't see how anyone could say I'm doing anything well."

Jeanie just nodded and said, "I told you we'll talk about it after the show."

Penny went back to sit and watch the show. While the second half played, Jeanie could hear Penny, "Why did I do that? Why didn't I look at Jeanie there? Oh, that is just plain stupid." Jeanie smiled, waiting for the show to end.

Penny came over and sat down. "Ok, so tell me why you hate watching yourself."

Jeanie slid the piece of paper over to Penny. She picked it up, and opened it, there was a short sentence, I second-guess myself, is what Penny read.

"What do you mean?"

"I think about why didn't I do this, or why I did do that," said Jeanie, "just like you were doing, during the show."

Penny looked sheepish, "Yeah, I guess I was, wasn't I?"

"You will always see the flaws," said Jeanie, "you'll always see the things you think you did wrong. You can't win, cause you're going to be harder on yourself than anyone else, so you're just going to notice the bad things. Now you know why I don't watch."

"And I can see why now," said Penny. "What's going to happen next week when I'm there with all my friends, how to I keep from complaining?"

"Your best bet," said Jeanie, "would be to remember things that happened during the taping or during the week, and tell them about that, while you all are watching the show."

Penny thought about it, "That makes sense, I'll try to use it. Now why shouldn't I look at articles about me or reviews of what I do?"

"A couple of reasons," said Jeanie. "You don't want to read reviews and start thinking about what they are saying about you. They'll say something about what they think you are doing right, and then you think it will be better to do that even more. It doesn't work that way. Trust the director and do what he says. You could have three, or more reviewers saying various things, and some might even be contradictory, so why bother?"

"And the other reason?"

"Well, we all like looking at articles that tell us how good we are," said Jeanie. "But, what happens when we get a bad review, or we get someone who tells us how bad they think we are?"

Penny was thinking about what happened earlier in her apartment as she read the articles. "We get mad, or upset."

"Precisely," said Jeanie, "and all that upset is not worth the good reviews. One bad opinion or review, will ruin 99 good ones, so why chance it?"

Penny again thought of how she felt after reading the not-so-good article, and nodded.

"I don't expect you to buy that from me," said Jeanie. "Everyone has to learn it themselves. Just one little look, it won't hurt. But, as soon as you see that bad review, your day, evening, week, year, is ruined."

"Well then," said Penny, "I guess I'll make sure I don't look". She added, "Anymore," under her breath.

Jeanie smiled at Penny, "You will look, you can't help it, it's human nature. I still peek looks every now and again and I even know better. All I can say is try to get over looking as fast as you can." Jeanie looked at her watch, "I guess it's time to go home. Have a good night Penny, I'll see you tomorrow." Jeanie got up, gave Penny a hug, and left, waving before she closed the door.

Penny was looking at the door and said, "I'll make sure I don't look. Let's see, what else is on…oh… Sex in the City, and Jeanie is in it. I'll watch this until Leonard calls.