"Stop it! Stop it now!" Francis snapped, gripping his eldest by the shoulders. "You need to stop acting like this. You know I love you and I always will but you need to stop this foolish behaviour and like someone befitting your station." he tried to speak calmer but it was a losing effort. He wouldn't stand for this child acting out any longer, especially when he directed anger at his eldest half brother.
"Are you sure you're ready to do this, brother?" Sebastian asked, as he and his brother and King walked in stride to John's small chambers. The fair haired King walked with purpose, hands tied neatly behind his back, chin raised. Having received word that the Dauphin would be spending the night with his mother and that Mary was recovering from the birth well, there was now no more reason to delay the inevitable.
"I have to be," Francis answered, nodding to a servent with a basket of sheets as she curtseyed deeply. "I can't let him get away with this any more. He can't act like this any longer. I know he's only a child and is infused with jealousy towards his brother, but he cannot set out to ruin him just because he envies his legitimate blood." he said, their strides long and fast as the half brothers made their way towards John's room.
"What about Mary?" Sebastian asked. Francis looked at him quickly. "Does she know that you told James about John without her?"
"No, I didn't tell her." he shook his head. "I only did it because the timing was right, James is old enough to understand. As must his mother."
"She may have wanted to be there."
"I highly doubt she would want to see her child in pain and confusion, brother." he shook his head.
"Are you trying to convince you or me?" Bash smirked, knowing full well that Mary wouldn't react well to know the most important conversation had gone down without her input or influence. Francis seemed to know, as well. But he spoke again.
"She may react badly, but I had to tell him. She has to understand. She won't like it, but she will understand."
Bash reached first, opening the door with a loud 'squeak'. The King and his deputy walked inside the warm chambers. They were slightly dim from the lack of sunlight and the windows being bordered up. A few candles were lit, a log burning in the harth hidden by a cast iron gate. The chambers were simple in the quite small room. A bed in the middle of the room against the wall, a fireplace facing it, a rocking horse and a toy box in the corner. A small bookshelf with a couple books stood in the opposite corner, next to a tall, thin wardrobe. On both sides of the bed, a small table. One held a cold bowl of soup and the other, a pitcher of water and a goblet. Small trinkets made their homes on the small tables and on the one to the left, a small candle burned.
A little figure lay in the middle of the bed. It was covered to the chin by blankets and furs, almost completely hidden by them, the pillows dwarfing his little head. Jaw length blonde hair fell in unruly directions, not curling in the slightest.
At the sound of the door opening, the small figure looked up to see who had entered. His dark blue eyes sparkled at the sight of his father and uncle.
"Papa!" he smiled, his voice congested and nasally. "Oncle!" the high pitched voice cracked with the exertion. He struggled to sit up, revealing the baggy white nightgown he wore, small arms reaching out for his father and uncle.
The King half smiled, receiving his son with a reluctant embrace, not quite sure how this conversation would go. But, playing the doting father, Francis held his boy and rubbed his back, soothing the coughs and wheezes that the boy let out. When the little boy pulled back from his fathers embrace, Francis saw the puffiness to his son's eyes and the redness of his cheeks.
John pulled himself from his fathers grip, walking on his knees to crush his warm body to his uncle's, before plopping back down on the bed, the bed bouncing in response to the sudden weight. He gave them both a toothy grin.
"John, I want to talk to you about something." Francis began.
"What, papa?" The bastard boy cocked his head to the side. "I haven't seen you in days," the almost five year old accentuated the word. "why can't you stay with me?" he questioned.
"I have, child. More than I should, but we must talk about some things." the King of France stopped speaking again.
"What, Papa?" Jean asked, cocking his head to the side even further, a tiny ear pressing itself against his shoulder.
"James." Francis started, immediately throwing caution to the wind and getting the elephant in the room out of the way, starting to talk of the boy's eldest half brother. He watched the child's expression intently, his own half brother doing the same. Big blue eyes immediately hardened, narrowing into small slits, his face slightly turning even more redder. Sebastian noticed a tiny hand balling up into a fist, whilst his half brother acknowledged the tension in his son's body.
"Why?" Jean huffed. "I don't like him at all."
"Why not?" Sebastian asked, settling beside Francis. "Why do you show such animosity towards the Prince?" he finished, careful to not mention the fact that James was -in fact- the boys' half brother. That was Francis' responsibility to tell his son, as it was his son's decision to do with the information what he will. The boy had two choices, either make peace with the Prince and secure his own future, or not acknowledge the boy at all. Having no relationship was better than a bitter one, after all.
"Because." the boy huffed, crossing his arms around his torso roughly, letting out a small 'humph' at the exertion. "Everybody is so nice and kind to him. They treat him so well and he has nice things, but people are so mean to me! They narrow their eyes at me and speak in the meanest tones, and I don't like it! Everybody is nice to him and not to me! If he wasn't there, people would be kind to me and not be horrid!"
"John," Bash came a little closer. "It isn't James' fault that people treat him kinder than they do you. The only reason they do it is because he has the Empress' blood in his veins, not any other woman's." the elder of the men gave a look to his brother, letting him know that this was the time to reveal all to his eldest in hopes of resolving this childish conflict once and for all.
"And he also has mine." Francis added, watching John's -Lola's, technically- eyes as the boy processed the information. "To be a legitimate child, your mother and father have to be married. And to be a legitimate Prince, the King and Queen must be married. Before James came into this world, I married his mother, and she birthed him." he said, explaining slowly.
"So, what? James'-" he glared at the mention of the Dauphin and Crown Prince. "mother and father are married. That doesn't mean people have to be mean to me!"
"You don't understand, John." Francis said, his voice now steady and firm paced. "I married the Empress, you know of her, yes?"
John nodded slowly. "The pretty woman with long black hair, the sparkly crown and pretty dresses?"
"Indeed." Francis nodded once. "I married her when we were in France. And a few months later, I put James in her stomach. The Prince has her blood and mine." he explained slowly. The half brothers waited a few moments for the information to process in the boys' head, and they waited patiently for John to draw his own conclusions.
John simply shook his head. Bash didn't know if he was telling them he didn't understand, or that he didn't like what his father had told him.
"To be a Prince, the King and the Queen have to be married. And whatever children come from that marriage are Princes and Princesses." Sebastian added, seeing that the elder of the duo in brawled in disaccord wasn't as quick as his younger counterpart.
"So," he swallowed. "The Prince is your son, as well as the Empress'?" John asked.
"Yes." his father answered, waiting patiently for his son to react to the news. James had reacted violently when he told him of John's true connection, how would his half brother?
"No." John huffed, shaking his head. Francis frowned. "No." he clarified.
"No?"
"No."
"No, as in you don't understand, or no as in you don't like it?" the Emperor asked.
"I don't like it!" the boy suddenly jerked forwards. Francis caught his little body easily, expecting this reaction this time. "You're my papa! Not his! Mine!"
"I always will be your father, John. But I'm James' father, too." Francis tried to explain.
"No, that means you'll leave me to go to him! Again! No, papa!" the boy insisted.
"The reason your father leaves is because he is King, his other sons are Princes. To the countries, they are more important." Bash tried to explain. He hadn't ever reacted like that when he was younger, always understanding that the children of his father and Catherine de Medici were always going to be more politically important than he was. But he had never became jealous or envious of them, he always loved his siblings. But Diane's insistence of he and her being Henry's true family and the others being show children for political interest had impacted, in a way neither good nor bad.
"Important," the boy almost mocked, he looked up into Francis' eyes. "What about me? Am I not important" his words were a little misspoken and temporarily halted by a cough.
I risked my country and it's future, my wife's life and love and missed out on a year and a half of my heirs' life for you, does that not mean importance? Francis bit back, responding swiftly with a "Of course you are important to me, but I'm a King. I have to think of political things." Francis paused, knowing the child didn't understand the meaning of political matters. "In the eyes of the world, James will always have to be more important." he attempted to explain without saying the cold truth. John was a bastard, in the eyes of the world, he was lower than a speck of dirt.
"What about to you?" John asked, his eyes wide. Sebastian and Francis shared a look, both knowing the boy was begging him to say that he was more important than James. But, the cold hard truth was this, through no ill will to the child, James would always be more important than John. Even in the role of father and not King, James and Lucien would always be more important than John.
"You all are equally as important to me." was all that Francis could say that wasn't the horrid truth that he wanted to shield this boy from for as long as possible.
"All." John crinkled up his little nose. "You told mama and I," he whipped around in Francis' lap, pointing a finger at his uncle. "that the Empress," the boy couldn't even say his step mothers' official title. It sounded like an adorable mash of letters and vowels that contradicted his irritated tone. "had another baby." he accused Sebastian, before lowering his arm and looking up at the fair haired King. "Is that baby yours, too?"
"Yes, child." Francis calmly answered. John huffed and Francis feared that the boy was already going to resent Lucien as he did James.
"John." Bash got the boy's attention again. "It is not James' fault, nor Lucien's fault, that they were born to your father and his wife and you were not. It isn't their fault that they are treated kindly because they are legitimate. Just like it is not your fault that you were born to your father and Lady Lola and not the Empress. Nobody controls whom they are born to. And because most people in the Empress' empire and your father's country are Christian, they are taught to treat people born out of wedlock with scorn and distain."
John cocked his head. "Why is James going to be King and the baby is not?" he asked out of nowhere. Bash blinked in surprise.
"Because James is older than Lucien."
"Then shouldn't you be King and not Papa?" he questioned, gripping Francis' cuff link as he spoke. "And I should be the Dauphin and not James?"
"No, child. It doesn't work like that." Bash half smiled. "You and I are born of Kings, yes, but our mothers were not married to our fathers when we were born, so we are illegitimate, ineligible to rule. Your father's mother was married to your grandfather, as a result, your father is legitimate. And because he is married to James and Lucien's mother, they are legitimate. They are able to rule."
"Could I rule if Papa had no other children?"
"No, John. You would be a threat, not a future King." Bash said softly. He remembered stories from nannies and his own mother that for three years, all Catherine saw him as was a threat. And it is true, if Mary hadn't had James and Lucien, John would be a threat to her and the safety of her relm.
"Trust me, child. You wouldn't want to rule in any circumstance. It isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's hard." Francis added.
John sat there and thought for a few moments. "So, I'm like you?" he asked his uncle.
Child, you are me. Bash thought, but responded swiftly. "Yes, you are."
"I heard people talking when Mama lived with the Knight. They said your Papa loved Oncle Bash's Mama. Is that true?" he asked his father, still sitting on his lap and looking up at him with big eyes.
"Yes, it is." he nodded, remembering his childhood in which his father doted upon his mistress whilst his mother was left numbed by his betrayal and doted upon her own children in response.
"So, you love my mama?" he asked, his eyes widening, but they became smaller when his father shook his head before he spoke.
"No, John. I don't love Lola. I love my wife, the Empress." he said. Bash didn't miss the sparkle in his brother's eye as he spoke of his wife. How could Catherine think he could ever live without her? he thought. How could the Medici Serpante think Lola could ever replace Mary in Francis' heart?
"Why?" he asked. "Why not my mama?"
"I have loved my wife ever since I met her when I was just a little older than you." Francis started. "She completes me and she makes me happy, in a way no woman has or ever will." he smiled absentmindedly. John cocked his head at his father again, right ear to right shoulder, this time.
"Is that why I always see you holding and kissing the pretty lady and not my Mama? You do it because you love her?"
"Yes, John. I love my wife, not your mother." Francis answered, wondering when the boy had seen him and Mary in an embrace, but quickly shaking it off. It wasn't the key issue here, and that in itself probably contributed to the boys anger and jealousy.
"But can't you love her? My mama?" John asked. "I want to see you be happy with my mama, not James'."
"I don't love Lola, John. I never have and I never will. A love like my wife and I share is rare to come by. I have sacrificed it once before, but I won't do it again. I love you, I will always love you, but I don't and never will love your mother." Francis finished. Bash smirked at him in pride, grateful that he had stopped being so foolish and sentimental, at least for a moment.
"But Papa, I see you being a family with James and the Empress and I want us to be a proper family, I remember a little from Italy, Papa."
"I know how we were in Italy, but your mother and I never loved each other then. We raised money to get us all back to France, to my wife. We were content to raise you there, whilst planning a route to get back, but she didn't love me and I will never love her." he paused. "We were only in Italy because I owed it to you to protect you from a disease that was spreading through France at the time, and I owed it to your mother to take care of you because she is a woman, she had nothing at that time." he paused again. "I left my wife and she had James inside of her at that time, and that was a mean thing to do. So, after taking care of you, and getting us back to safety, I owed it to James and his mother to make things right for all of us. I had been gone for so long that she had James and he didn't know me, she thought we had gone to heaven because we were gone for so long. I had ruined a lot of things, and had to make things right, after you and your mother had been settled."
"Then why did you give me to mama?" he asked, with no animosity, this time. Just childish curiosity.
"I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have given your mother you. She and I made a large mistake that set about motions that could have ruined a lot of people, sent even more to heaven before their time. I was very sad and so was she. We made a mistake, but you are not a mistake." he quickly added.
"How is James and the baby different from me?"
"James and Lucien are products of my love for my wife, something that cannot ever go away. But you are a product of your mother and I hurting her."
"Why did you hurt her if you loved her?"
"Because I didn't think I would ever see her again." Francis sighed. He glanced at his brother as he looked away from the scene.
"That is not an excuse." John seemed to glare at his father, then. Francis chuckled humorlessly.
"No, it isn't. But I am trying to make her feel better about it, and the baby helps a great deal."
"Is that why mama always cries and looks sad whenever somebody says 'Mary' or 'The Empress' or 'The Queen'? And why she was so sad when we came here?" John asked.
"She was?" Francis asked. Even Bash looked a little surprised that Lola was remorseful for what she had done and the repercussions of their actions.
"Yes." was the only response.
"Well, your mother hurt my wife more than I did. She was immediately going to go and see her after hurting her with me. We didn't meant to hurt her, and I didn't know I gave her you until a long time after."
"It's still not a nice thing to do, Papa."
"No, it is not." the King of France answered his son, wondering how the boys' mood could change so drastically in a matter of moments. To be angry at him one moment and then interrogating him the next.
"Neither is being not very nice to James because he has the Empress' blood and you do not." Sebastian cut back in.
"I can't help it." John shrugged. "People are mean to me and nice to him. It's not fair, nor nice."
"I know it isn't, but if you're mean to James when he is little, when you both get bigger, he could make you sadder." Bash added.
"Like how you are nice to Papa and help him?" John asked, small fingers finding the buttons of Francis' sleeve and fiddling with the small golden lumps.
"Yes, exactly like that." Bash nodded. Francis relaxed, they seemed to have made a breakthrough with him, but knew better than to get his hopes up. "Your father won't be around to protect you forever. If you are mean to him when he is small, there will be rage between you both as you grow up and become bigger. And when your father goes to heaven and James takes his fathers' throne, he could seek vengeance on you. You don't want that, do you?"
"No, Oncle." John shook his head.
"You want to be in a family, yes?" the uncle pushed. "Not just you and your mother and the Knight who your mother doesn't get along with?"
"Yes, Oncle. Very much so."
"Well, if you are nice to James, and all of yours and James' cousins, then you can be. I'm sure he will welcome you into his family if you're kind." the King added.
"But what of your wife, Papa?" John's eyes got big. "I heard Oncle saying how your mama was mean to him when he was small."
"My wife isn't like my mother, John. Although they have similarities, they are very different. She has forgiven me for most of the things I have done wrong to her. Mary is kind and loving, she knows you are innocent in all of this, too. Mary never wanted to punish you for anything, she understood that you are not to blame for your conception-"
"Whist your grandmother always blamed me for mine." Bash added.
"So, she's nice and kind?"
"Ever so." Francis nodded. "but she doesn't like how mean you are to James. He means a lot to her, you don't want to give her a reason to mistrust you, do you?"
"No, papa." John shook her head.
"You may not believe it, but she's always wanted to protect you from your mother and I's mistakes. Ever since the moment we returned to France, she wanted to protect you in one way or another. So long as you are kind to James, she will be kind to you."
"So, I can be in your family?"
"You already are and always will be. But, in the case of Mary and I's own family, you will have a place, providing your animosity to James ceases."
"What of my mama? Can she be in the family?"
"No, John. Your mother has hurt my wife one too many times. She can't forgive her any longer."
"Is that why she's up in the tower that makes her sneeze?"
"No, your mother is up there because she was talking to my wife's enemy about marrying you to one of their little girls to secure your future. That is very bad, worse than having you with me. And with my wife's enemies getting a little too close, Lola's betrayal is even worse."
"She did a very bad thing?"
"In the name of protecting you, but her motives behind it mean nothing. She tried to marry you to the Empress' enemy. That's a very, very bad thing." Sebastian included. "It threatened all of the countries and your father's realm and the future of the empire. It was a very stupid thing to do."
"Will you ever see my mama again?" John asked his father. "Will I?"
"That's up to my wife, Lola isn't my subject. She's still Mary's."
"Will she send her to heaven?"
"I'm not sure, child. My wife is more concerned with the enemy of Spain, rather than your mother at the moment. I won't ever see her again, if I can help it."
"Why?"
"She hurt my wife and shook my son's future. That is unforgivable. She's also said and done some incredibly stupid and illogical things over the last several years. It's a miracle my wife forgave for as long as she did." Francis nodded. "After my wife takes vengeance upon her, justifiably so, she will never see her again. Providing the group of men we have to appease doesn't want her to go to heaven, you will be passed back and forth between us. If it doesn't go that way, you will stay with me and I will protect you."
"Will you?"
"Of course, you are my son. But this foolish behaviour towards your brother has to stop, okay? You're not hurting anybody but yourself in this scenario."
John looked to Bash.
"It's true, John. If you want to have the protection that I have from your father, you must be kind and loyal to James. He will be King one day, an Emperor when he takes his mothers' throne. When you grow up, you must trust each other and help your brothers with whatever they need. If not, when your father isn't around to protect you, your brother will make you even sadder than you try to make him. He will have thrones and power and you will not. You must understand that no matter what happens, the Queen and the Princes must come first, including any other children that your father and step mother may have. Through no ill will, that is just the way of the world."
"Really, papa?"
"It's not nice, but it's true."
"You have to understand, John." the boy looked back at his uncle. "Your father loves you and your brothers, but your younger ones are legitimate, and they are the product of love. You must not resent them because of it."
"And when we were in Italy, I had to abandon France, my wife and James. I had no idea my wife carried James in her stomach for the entire time he was in there, and I hadn't met him until he had reached around a year and a half. The guilt I have turns into a need to make it right, that's why I spend so much time with him. I have to make right my mistake, not just be his father. And with the new baby, I have a chance to do everything differently. I don't want you resenting your younger brothers because I have to make something up to them." John blinked slowly, holding his fathers' forearms. "Because I missed out on so much, my wife and James don't trust me. They don't trust my love for them, and they aren't sure that I won't run away again. I have to make them secure in my love, and if you start being kind to your brother, that will help them trust that I won't take your mother and you and run away again. I can't do that to them again. It isn't right."
"But I don't like the fact that people are mean to me, Papa!"
"Maybe some of their anger is because they see you be mean to your brother and Oncle Bash's children, including the rest of your cousins. And if that stops and you get along with them, maybe that will assuade them from their anger. If that doesn't completley work, then you confront them about it, not your brother. And you tell me immediately and I'll make it stop."
John looked down at his own lap. Bash spoke.
"Being mean to James and the children will only push them away. There will come a time when you will need them and they will turn their back to you how you do them. And it displeases your father when the Dauphin tells him of the things you've done. As much as he loves you, he is a King and can't always be a father first. James knows that, now it is time for you to understand it."
John made a noise of displeasure.
"It isn't nice," Bash lifted John off his fathers' lap and sat him in front of him. "but it is the world we live in. Your father has to train your brother, he will be King, our King, one day. I'm sure that in a way, your brother loves you after learning the connection between you two, but you are making it very easy for him to hate you right now with these actions." they looked up as Francis got up from the bed and walked to the other side. He poured a goblet of water for his son and passed it over to him. John drank greedily from it, barely listening as Bash continued to speak. "And if that is true, if you don't stop, if James demands that your father picks between you, you cannot be assured that you will win."
"But I don't want to choose between you, okay?" Francis knelt on the floor. "But if you make me, then I will. But I don't want to, not at all. I want you to start behaving properly so James and Mary will accept you. And with the new baby, you have a chance to make things right between us all. So there is no more of this silly rivalry over something nobody can control. Your brother may want to trust you as I do your uncle, but you're not making it easy for him. I know you're both incredibly small right now, and so young, but you must understand these things now before you grow up into people that we cannot change or adjust for your own good."
John looked down again, starting to fiddle with his little fingers.
"Hey." Bash poked his nose. "We don't say these things to make you feel sad or bad, okay? We just want you to understand. Do you?"
"I think so, Oncle, Papa."