A/N Nothing to note this week. I didn't write anything, other things, IRL, intruded. I'm back on first draft writing today. Here ya go:

Chapter 56

Apt 314, 8:00 AM Tuesday Nov 20th 2012

Penny woke up, happy that she didn't feel hung over, until she remembered the call the previous night, and knowing what she must do today. She got up and made her usual preparations for going to work, then sat, sipping on her coffee, while she waited for Jeanie.

Jeanie was there at 9:15, and they set off for the studio. Penny kept her face neutral, and her answers short, on their way to work. She didn't want Jeanie getting too inquisitive about how she was feeling. When they arrived, they went to their respective dressing rooms, getting ready for the run-throughs during the day and the taping tonight.

Penny knew she wasn't going to have to do a lot today, she only had two scenes, so she was aware she would have the time to write the letter. In preparation for that, she had brought her computer with her, instead of her iPad.

She felt really down, because she was about to destroy her first real adult relationship, really her first true love. While she had broken up with him before, she had managed to stay friends, so the relationship, without the romantic part, still went on. But, this time, there was no staying friends, it was going to be a clean break, and it . She knew there was no doubt it was her fault, but felt this was the best thing for him. She no longer felt she was good for him, and while she knew this would hurt him, she didn't see any other way to keep from hurting Leonard in the future. With tears starting in her eyes, she began writing.

Pasadena, 7:45 AM Tuesday Nov 20th 2012

Leonard and Sheldon were going to work. Sheldon had called Leonard's name several times, but Leonard was trying to ignore him, his thoughts on the possible reasons Penny wasn't answering. Finally, sounding exasperated, Sheldon said, "Leonard, are you listening to me?"

"To be honest, no, I'm not."

"Well, pay attention," said Sheldon, "I'm asking you an important question."

"Does it have to do with my project?" asked Leonard.

"No, it's…"

"Does it have to do with anything involving Penny and I?"

"No, but…"

"Does it have to do with anything that may cause my death or injury in the next two days?"

"No, but…"

"Then it can wait," said Leonard. "I'm thinking about what I think is a serious matter, so if you don't mind, I don't have time for anything that isn't a full-blown emergency, so just be quiet."

"Jeez, you don't have to be so grouchy," said Sheldon in a low voice, but he stayed quiet the rest of the way to the university.

Caltech Laser Lab, 9:45 AM Tuesday Nov 20th 2012

Leonard got to work, opened the lab, and went through his usual routine to get everything warmed up. Having finished that, he refilled his coffee cup, then made the call he knew he had to make for his peace of mind.

"Thank you for calling Zangen, this is Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz, how can I help you?"

"Bernadette, this is Leonard."

"Hi Leonard," said Bernadette, "how are you doing?"

"Not too well," said Leonard.

"What's going on?" said Bernadette, concern in her voice.

"Have you talked to Penny recently?"

"Not since she was here last," said Bernadette. "We don't usually call each other. Why, what's up?"

"I'm not sure," said Leonard. "She's been avoiding my calls, not answering texts or emails, and last night, flat out lied to me."

"About what?"

"She's not coming home tomorrow," said Leonard sadly. "They are down for two weeks, and she's not coming home. She called to tell me that she was asked to do something with the parade."

"Well, that doesn't sound terrible."

"Bernadette," said Leonard, "she didn't call to tell me she wasn't coming home until last night, she played it as if they had just asked her to stay. However, she didn't bother making any kind of reservation for her flight home last week. Which means, she wasn't planning on coming home, and the parade was probably an excuse."

"Are you sure?"

Bernadette, If she was planning on coming home, she would have made the reservations last week. Then, if they asked her to stay, she would have to cancel the reservations. She didn't make any reservations, but tried to tell me it was a last minute thing. She didn't make reservations, so she wasn't coming home, and the parade is lie, to cover it up. After I pointed that out, she started stuttering and had no answer, so we ended up yelling at each other, and at the end she was sorta stuttering, Like, 'sorry…she didn't know…it wasn't fair to me', things like that. Something is going on, and she won't talk to me, so I was hoping maybe you could call her and ask. She might tell you."

"And she may not," said Bernadette. "The last time I tried, I was trying to tell her to cut down on her drinking and she wasn't exactly happy about that."

She could hear him sigh, and his next words sounded as if he was choking up, "Well, I know she isn't talking to me, I just want to find know why."

There wasn't much Bernadette could say, "OK, I'll call her tonight, and try to see what's up."

"Tonight probably won't work," said Leonard, "it's taping night, so probably won't get her."

"OK," said Bernadette, "I'll try tomorrow."

"Thanks, Bernadette," said Leonard, "I appreciate it."

"I'll call you tomorrow or Thursday," said Bernadette. "Did you decide if you are coming over for Thanksgiving?"

"No, I'm just staying home," said Leonard. "Sheldon and Amy are going to the Aquarium and will have dinner there. I suppose Raj is going to your place, I just don't feel in a festive mood."

"You should come," said Bernadette, "it might help to keep your spirits up, until I find out what is going on. And besides, I'm cooking tomorrow and Howard's mom isn't."

"Thanks Bernadette, I'll think about it, bye."

"Bye Leonard."

The both hung up, Bernadette saying out loud, to no one in her office, "What is going on, Penny?" She sighed and went back to work.

Studio 44, 3:00 PM Tuesday Nov 20th 2012

They had finished the run-through, and Penny was back in her dressing room, finishing up the letter. She would go through it tonight, since she only had two scenes, and make some corrections. Tomorrow, she would print it out and mail it. That thought, like writing it, had left her in tears, but it had to be done.

She was exhausted from the emotion that had overtaken her while she was writing. Since she had over an hour, before she would eat, and then get her makeup and hair done, she decided she needed a nap. She shut her lights off, hung the do not disturb sign on her door, set her alarm and was asleep within minutes.

Studio 44, 7:00 PM Tuesday Nov 20th 2012

Penny had completed her one scene in the first half of the show, and was now back in her dressing room, finishing up the changes to the wording, here and there, of the letter.

It had to be just right, and as much as she felt she'd screwed up in the last month, she wanted this to be perfect, Leonard deserved at least that. Of course, it wasn't going to be received in a good manner, but she needed to be very clear and specific, letting him know it wasn't him, it was all her, and she didn't deserve him.

The mid-show break was now in progress, and Penny had finished her corrections. Now, all she needed to do was to print it out and mail it. She waited to be called for her final scene, and when she was finished with that, she stayed down on the set, watching, until the show finished and they all took their bows. She then went back, packed everything up and tried to get out of the studio before anyone could stop her.

It's didn't work, as Kelli wanted to tell her how well she had done, and then Jim also wanted to say a few words. This was enough of a delay that Jeanie walked up, just before Jim finished.

Jeanie looked at Penny and said, "You ready to go to Jake's?"

Penny said, "I don't think I'm going tonight, just not feeling well and I'm tired." Which true enough as she wasn't feeling very good, and was exhausted from the emotional effort the letter took.

"What's wrong?"

Penny shook her head, "I have a headache, just generally not feeling well, and I'm tired."

"You coming down with something?"

"I don't know," said Penny, "just want to go home and rest."

Jeanie looked concerned, but said, "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow. You want to come with me to Boston for Thanksgiving?"

"No, I think I'll just stay right here."

"Ok, come on, you can at least walk with me to Jake's."

"OK."

Jeanie and Penny left the studio and five minutes later were at Jake's,

"You sure you don't want to come in?"

"No, Jeanie," said Penny, "I just want to go home."

"OK, see you tomorrow."

"Good night," said Penny, then she turned and started walking home.

It took Penny about ten minutes to get home, then a few more to unpack. She took out her computer and brought up the letter and printed it. She went to the printer and took it over to her table and signed it. She then put it in an envelope, added the address and return address, then put it in her purse.

With that, she went to the fridge, got a bottle of wine, it was half full, and poured her first glass. She knew it was going to be a very rough night, and she hoped the wine would help her get through it. She took a drink, then refilled the glass, went to her couch and sat down. She turned the TV on and took another drink.

Apt 4A, 7:00 PM Tuesday Nov 20th 2012

Leonard had left work early, he didn't see any sense in staying as he wasn't thinking anything about work. All he was thinking about was Penny. She obviously had some sort of problem hanging over her, something she didn't seem to be able to solve, and something, it was now apparent, that she didn't want to share with him.

But, what could it be? That's what distracted him for most of the day. Maybe I should ignore her telling me not to come, maybe I should just go and surprise her. No, that wouldn't be fair to her, to just drop in with out warning. What happens if she wasn't there?

Speaking of home, it didn't help that he was already home, and was still trying to figure it out. Why didn't she want to talk to me about it? What could it be? He was so deep in thought, he didn't hear Amy and Sheldon come home. They both said hello, and there was no answer from him.

Sheldon called his name three times, getting louder each time, until Leonard finally turned. He seemed surprised to see them. Amy was concerned, he appeared haggard, and looked like something was bothering him, "Are you doing all right, Leonard? You look troubled."

Leonard rose, and said, "I am, but it's not really your concern." Then, he turned and walked down the hallway to his bedroom, I hope Bernadette can find out what's happening. He closed the door and laid on his bed.

"Well that was rude," said Sheldon.

Amy, who had heard from Bernadette, was concerned, but she didn't want to tell Sheldon, as he struggled with relationships and wouldn't really understand. All she said was "I suppose it was."

Apt 314, 9:00 AM Wednesday Nov 21th 2012

Jeanie arrived at Penny's apartment, and she could hear the TV. Penny must have gotten up early, she thought, and knocked on the door. There was no answer, so she knocked again, harder. There was still no answer and Jeanie was slightly worried. Penny didn't feel good the night before, maybe she had a problem last night. She knocked for the third time, pounding really, and then waited, but again, no one came to the door.

Jeanie went back to her apartment, retrieved Penny's emergency key, then came back and opened the door. She walked into the apartment, and looked in her bedroom, but didn't see her. It wasn't until she came back out of the bedroom and looked in the living room, that she saw Penny laying on the couch, with the TV on. Jeanie assumed she was sleeping, until she saw the three open wine bottles on her coffee table. With those, along with the TV being on, Jeanie thought, She probably passed out last night.

Jeanie walked over and sat down next to her. She wanted to shake her roughly, and try to shake some sense into her. But, she started gently. With no response, Jeanie began to shake her harder, until finally Penny opened one eye and looked at Jeanie.

"What are you doing here?" said Penny with a grimace.

"I might ask you what the hell are you doing?" said Jeanie. "You said you weren't feeling good, that you wanted to come home and rest, and I find you passed out on your couch, apparently having drunk three bottles by yourself. So what is going on?"

"It's only two. The first one was half empty, and one of those is half empty. As for what's going on, I told you, I don't want to talk about it," said Penny.

Jeanie wasn't having any of that, she had decided that this had gone on long enough and what Penny needed was some tough love. "Oh, you have to, I'm not giving you a choice." Before Penny could say anything, Jeanie got up and went into the kitchen to start some coffee, got a bottle of water and found some aspirin on the table, then came back into the living room. She put the water and aspirin on the coffee table, then pulled Penny into a sitting position, Penny groaning as she was pulled up.

"Here," said Jeanie, handing her the aspirin "take these. And, here's some water," handing her the bottle.

Penny took the aspirin then took a large swig from the bottle. She look at Jeanie and said "Thanks. What do you mean I have to?"

"I'm not putting up with any more excuses," said Jeanie. "Something is obviously bothering you, I've tried to take a step back, try to let you deal with it. But, you don't seem to be having any luck dealing with this yourself."

"So, here's what's going to happen," said Jeanie in an soft, but commanding tone. "I have to see my agent really quick at ten. I came down to ask you if you wanted to go and found you like this. While I'm gone, you are going to get a shower, get dressed and get some coffee into you. When I come back, we are going to sit down and you are going to tell me what the hell's been going on with you over the last few weeks."

Penny was looking up at Jeanie. To Penny, Jeanie sounded angry, and she didn't remember her sounding this way before. With the letter ready to mail, she now had no reason not to tell her, at least the origin of the problem.

She nodded and meekly said, "OK."

"Now, get up, get some coffee, and then get ready," said Jeanie. "I'll be back in about an hour, 90 minutes tops. And I expect you to be showered and dressed. And if you don't tell me, I'll call Kelli and then drag you down to the studio, so you can tell her."

With that, Jeanie, spun, then walked out of the apartment. Penny wasn't really sure what to do, so she got up, and got a cup of coffee. After a few sips, she went and got her purse, making sure the envelope was still there. She knew what she needed to do first.

She put her shoes on, found her coat, and before leaving, put a stamp on the envelope. She knew where the postbox was, so she took the elevator to the first floor, and started out the door, turning left to get to the box. Arriving at the box, she paused for a moment, unsure if she was doing the right thing. Finally, she opened the box, put the letter in and closed it. Before she could start for home, she noticed that it had started snowing. Not very hard, but she could see hundreds, if not thousands, of snowflakes, falling from the sky.

Looking at them, her eyes filled with tears. He gave me a snowflake that would last forever, and now I've just thrown away the relationship and crushed both our hearts.

She turned and hurried back to the apartment. Once back, she took her shower, washed her hair, and then blow dried it. She then got dressed, and pouring another cup of coffee, sat at her table, waiting for Jeanie to arrive.

She was thinking, How am I going to break the news to Jeanie. This isn't something you tell others, that you cheated on your boyfriend. What would her reaction be? Would she judge me and how can she help me?

Penny didn't know the answers to any of those questions, but she kept thinking. Finally, at 11:30, there was a knock on the door. Penny answered it and invited Jeanie in. Jeanie took off her coat, went to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, then joined Penny at the table.

"Now, what the hell is going on with you?" Asked Jeanie.

Penny still didn't know how to start, so remained silent, but tears started forming.

Jeanie noticed that, but was not going to be gentle, Penny needed to tell her, telling someone else would remove some of the pressure on her, and maybe Jeanie could help solve it. But she needed Penny to tell her, before any of that could happen, "Penny, tell me. Tell me, please. Let me help you."

Penny opened her mouth, and moved it, but nothing came out, except sobs. She tried again, and her sobs became louder.

"Penny, please tell me," said Jeanie, taking Penny's hand, "I can help you."

Penny looked at Jeanie, seeing her eyes pleading with her. After another few seconds she tried again, and managed to croak out, "I slept with Brent."

"Oh, my God, no," gasped Jeanie, putting her hand over her mouth, a look of horror coming over her face.