A/N Another longish chapter, but again, not the longest. We get a bit more of Leonard's view in this chapter. I do wonder how many will remember something until it's mentioned in the chapter. On another note, I mentioned the play, Chapter 2, as I was cast to play Leo in it (it's only a four person cast).

Chapter 63

Apt 314 10:00 AM Saturday December 1st 2012.

Penny was sipping her coffee, looking at some YouTube videos. Various people were doing stupid things, and Penny was smiling, when she heard her doorbell.

Penny got up and looked through the peephole. Seeing it was Jeanie, she opened the door and let her in. They walked to the dining table, and Penny asked if Jeanie would like a cup of coffee. Jeanie said yes, and Penny, with a smirk, told her that she knew where everything was. Jeanie laughed and went and got her coffee, then sat down at the table, looking at Penny.

"What?" said Penny.

"I'm wondering if I should leave you alone?"

"What do you mean?" asked Penny.

"I have an audition today, and possibly a chemistry read tomorrow," said Jeanie.

"For what?"

"I may be in a Broadway show in May," said Jeanie. "Because of my new found fame on our show, I've been asked to audition. The show will run from May to the end of July, just before we have to return."

"That's fantastic," said Penny excitedly, "What's the name of the show?"

"They're doing a revival of Chapter 2," said Jeanie, "and they want me to play Jennie."

Penny, who was not familiar with the play, asked, "Is it the lead?"

"One of the female leads, yes. I'm going to be gone most of today, and most of tomorrow," said Jeanie. "Are you going to be OK, by yourself?"

"Of course," said Penny, "I had a bad couple of days, but I'm starting to feel better. You go audition and get that part. Don't worry about me."

Jeanie nodded, but wasn't totally convinced. However, she really didn't have anything to go on, and Penny had done well the last couple of days, seemed to be on an even keel, so there wasn't any reason to doubt her. Jeanie rose and said, "If you say so, but I'm stopping by tonight to check on you." Jeanie started walking toward the door.

"Check away," said Penny, "but, you better do good at the audition. Break a leg."

Turning, Jeanie smiled and said, "Thanks," and then left.

Apt 4A 1:00 PM Saturday December 1st 2012.

Leonard had spent most of his morning sipping coffee and thinking about leaving, I'm probably overthinkng everything.

He was feeling down, as he would think of Penny, and feel bad, occasionally tearing up. To get his mind off of that, he would think about going to Oxford this month, and when he remembered the reason for that, his mood would turn dark again.

He was also feeling down about leaving his friends and Cal Tech. He'd known Howard and Raj almost as long as he'd been at the University, and he'd been there since getting his doctorate. Then there was Sheldon. This weighed the heaviest on Leonard, because although he could be a pain in the ass, Sheldon was his best friend and Leonard was sure he was gong to miss him. All this also contributed to his poor mood.

Along with all this, he was also trying to decide which of his collectables to give to his three friends, which ones to sell, and which ones to keep. But again, he would think of why he was selling them, and it would derail his thought process. He finally decided to sell almost all of them, and he cold think of several reasons why this was the best thing. The main reason was he simply he didn't know if he would have the room. He wasn't sure where he would be living, and had heard that apartments, in England, could be smaller than in the US.

There also could be problems if one of his friends got something another one wanted. If he sold all of his things, his friends would have the option of buying them, and it would be up to each of them to determine which ones, they wanted to buy and how much they were willing to pay for it. There were some specific things he didn't plan on selling, but did plan to give to each of them. Those things had meant something personal to Leonard, or personal to each of them.

Where he was going to sell them was another question. He felt he owed it to Stuart to try and sell them, after all Stuart was a friend. And, if Stuart couldn't afford to buy all of them, he could take some of them to Capital Comics, although Leonard didn't really like the guy that owned it, he thought him sleazy. He would also be able to swear Stuart to secrecy, until he was ready to tell everyone, which brought him to why he was selling, and again became dejected. With an effort, he managed to wrest his thoughts to how he could also use Capital Comics as a check, on the prices Stuart was willing to give him. He knew Stuart probably couldn't give him the prices he could get from Capital Comics, and he might not be able to buy everything, but he decided he really didn't care. He would allow Stuart to buy everything he could, and let him sell everything else, as buyers became available. He could then send the money to Leonard.

He still had some time to make these decisions, as it would be at least several weeks, even if he got the job. But, he would start listing, and organizing all of his things. That way, it would be easier, when the time came to pack them up. The reason for packing them up invaded his thoughts, causing him to break the pencil in his hand.

Apt 314 10:00 AM Sunday December 2nd 2012.

Jeanie knocked on Penny's door, she wanted to check on her before leaving for her chemistry read, with her proposed co-star. Penny answered the door and invited Jeanie in. Jeanie followed Penny to the table.

"How you doing?" Jeanie asked.

"I'm OK," said Penny, "you want some coffee?"

"No thanks," said Jeanie, "I've got a cup. Just stopping by, to see how you were doing."

"I'll be fine," said Penny.

"You sure?"

"Yep," said Penny, "you were here last night, and there wasn't a problem, was there?"

"No, there wasn't," admitted Jeanie, "you were fine." However, this morning, Jeanie wasn't so sure, as Penny seemed a bit snippy this morning, but it could be because it was early, for Penny.

"OK, well, try to have a good day," said Jeanie.

"Yeah, I'll try."

Jeanie looked at Penny, nodded, then left.

Penny watched her leave, then her expression changed and she said despondently, "Oh, boy, the big fucking star is all alone again, Happy fucking birthday, Penny."

Apt 314 3:00 PM Sunday December 2nd 2012.

Leonard was sitting in his chair, at his desk, but his computer wasn't even on. He was staring at the birthday card, sitting next to the computer. He had gotten it for Penny, but he had been just staring at the card, off and on, since he got up that morning.

He was thinking about leaving, about Penny, about trying to figure out a way to tell everyone and finally, he couldn't take it any longer. He grabbed the card and ripped it in two, and then into fourths, stood up and then flung the pieces to the ground.

He walked to the door, took his keys out of the bowl, and left the apartment. Ten minutes later he got out of his car, walked into the store and bought a pint of whiskey, then headed back to the apartment.

Apt 601 8:00 PM Sunday December 2nd 2012.

Jeanie unlocked her door, and walked into her apartment. She laid her paperwork on her table and went to the fridge, to get a bottle of water, before going down to check on Penny. She had just opened the bottle when her landline phone rang.

Puzzled, she picked it up and said, "Hello".

"Hi Jeanie, hows wash, your day?" She heard Penny say.

"Why didn't you call my cell?"

"I did," said Penny, "I think it was shix or sheven times."

Jeanie looked at her cell phone and there were no calls from Penny, "Are you drunk?"

"Of courshe," said Penny, "ishn't that what you doooo on your birtshday?"

"It's your birthday?" ask Jeanie, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I jusht did," said Penny.

"I mean this morning," said Jeanie.

"Well, you were going to be gone," said Penny. "I didn't want to make you miss your…your…your…where did you go?"

"I'll be right down," said Jeanie.

"Down where?" said Penny.

"To your apartment."

"Ohhhhh, OK," said Penny.

Jeanie hung up, went and got some pajamas, her tooth brush, and a couple of other toiletries, and started down to Penny's, planning on staying with her again tonight.

Apt 4A 9:00 PM Sunday December 2nd 2012.

Leonard was sitting in his chair, looking at the empty bottle, sitting on the coffee table. He knew he was drunk, something he really didn't do very often. The last time, he remembered, was also when Penny had broken up with him. I must be in a rut, Penny breaks up with me, I get drunk.

He attempted to get up from his chair, but fell sideways, onto the couch, and into Sheldon's spot, just as Sheldon and Amy came through the door. Upon seeing him, Sheldon said, "You're in my spot Leonard."

"I know Ssshhheldon," said Leonard, "I tried to get up, but I fell down. Of courshe, I've dranked a bottle of whishekey."

"Leonard, you're drunk." Said Sheldon.'

"Very, obshervant, Sheldon."

Amy had been looking at the ripped up card on the floor, but quickly walked over and sat down beside Leonard. "Why are you drunk Leonard?"

"Duh, why do you think, Amy? Sheesh."

Amy ignored the sarcasm and said, "Why, Leonard?"

"To dull the pain," answered Leonard.

"What pain?"

"Today ish, Penny'sh birthday," said Leonard, tears forming in his eyes, "but, she broke up with me."

"Is that all?"

"No," said Leonard, "I had a card," he pointed toward the floor, "but I didn't shend, it, I ripped it up."

"What does that have to do with you sitting in my spot?" said Sheldon.

"Sheldon," snap Amy.

"Well, I washn't in your shpot, but when I tried to get up from my chair, I fell down." Leonard giggled, "I faw down go boom."

Amy looked at Leonard with pity, "Come on Sheldon, help me get him to his room."

"Amy, I'm not built to carry something like Leonard."

"Sheldon," said Amy, "you helped Leonard carry me when I was drunk, I would think you would help your roommate, when he needs help."

Sheldon didn't say anything, he just moved to the opposite side Amy was on, and the both of them managed to get Leonard to his bed.

"Goodnight Leonard," said Amy.

"Goodnight Amy, thank you," said Leonard. "And thank you too, Giraf-fay."

Sheldon looked puzzled, "What?"

"I shaid thank you too, Giraf-fay."

"What are you talking about Leonard?"

"Penny called you a giraf-fay" said Leonard, "because she shaid, you looked like a kerrafe, no, a jerry, no, wait, what is that animal that has a long neck?"

"A giraffe," said Amy.

"That's it," said Leonard, pointing at her.

"Come on Leonard," said Amy, setting him down on his bed and trying to get him to lay down, "it's time to get to bed."

"OK," said Leonard, falling over, his head landing on the pillow.

Sheldon left, while Amy put his feet on the bed and pulled the sheet over him, then she stood there looking down at Leonard. Amy felt bad for him, but there wasn't anything she could do right now, so she turned to leave.

"Amy," she heard Leonard say.

"Yes, Leonard?"

"I miss her," said Leonard, "what am I going to do?"

"I don't know," said Amy sadly, "I miss her too."

Leonard didn't say anything else, and as Amy left, she could hear Leonard softly sobbing, she shook her head, and closed his door.

Apt 314 9:00 AM Monday December 3nd 2012.

Penny heard a clinking, and opened her eyes. She sat up slowly, not knowing how bad the hangover was going to be. Not feeling too bad, she remembered that Jeanie had made her drink a glass of water and take two aspirin before going to bed.

Penny made her way to the bathroom, then put on her robe, and walked out to the kitchen. Jeanie was there, reading some papers. She looked up when Penny came in, and Penny noticed she didn't look very happy. Penny got a cup of coffee, and sat down at the table, looking at Jeanie.

Jeanie continued to read over her papers, for a few more minutes, not saying anything to Penny. Finally, Jeanie turned over the last paper, looked up at Penny, and without any preamble, said, "Here's what we're going to do. You are going to go get a shower, get dressed and then you and I are going to have a talk. I don't want to hear you don't want to talk about it. We are going to talk about it, or I am leaving. I am your friend, I am here to help you, but you have to do your part too, and right now, you aren't. Now go, I'm taking my papers back to my place. You have a half hour."

"And what if I don't want to talk to you?"

"It told you, I'm leaving," said Jeanie. "We go back to work in two days, and I am not going to work with someone who is hung over, day after day. So either we talk, or I leave and then go to Kelli and Jim, and tell them you've been drinking heavily. That's not a lie, so it's your choice."

Penny looked at Jeanie, she could see the resolve in her face, and she said angrily, "Fine," as she got up and went to the bathroom. Jeanie left, taking her papers with her. She put them on her table then headed back down to Penny's apartment. She got another cup of coffee, sat down at the table and waited.

Penny came out, after showering and getting dressed, but looking sheepish. She got a cup of coffee and then sat at the table looking at Jeanie. Finally she said, "So, what do you need to know?"

"Why did you drink yesterday?"

"It was my birthday," said Penny, "I was alone, and being alone, I thought of Leonard and how I was alone because I broke up with him. That made me feel like shit, and I started crying, which made me want to drink to forget."

"So, you're upset because you broke up with Leonard," said Jeanie. "If that makes you so upset, why break up with him?"

"Because I slept with Brent," said Penny. "He and I talked about this, before I left, and one of the things we said was if we wanted someone else, break up, but don't cheat. Well, I cheated, and to top it off, it now looks like I want someone else."

"What are you talking about?" said Jeanie.

Penny pulled out her phone and brought up the article and picture, "This came out last week, my friends in California pointed it out to me. They told me Leonard hasn't seen it, at the time, but he probably has by now. I didn't want to hurt him, but between this picture and the thing with Brent, breaking up with him was the only thing that I could think of doing, and not hurt him any worse. I'm a worthless cheat, and he doesn't deserve that."

Jeanie looked at the picture, "When was this taken?"

"The week you weren't at the taping," said Penny. "The night I slept with Brent. He was trying to say something to me, and a couple of guys got the picture, then ran out of Jake's."

Jeanie looked at her, "You need to talk to Leonard…"

"No, I don't," said Penny, "talking to him over the phone, isn't good eno…"

"No, in person," said Jeanie. "You need to go home over our Christmas hiatus, and really talk to him. Explain to him what happened and explain the picture. Tell him how bad this bothers you, how bad this makes you feel. Throw yourself on his mercy. It's got to be better for you, than what is going on now."

Penny shook her head, "No, it's not fair to him. He doesn't deserved the problems I'm making for him, like that picture. I deserve to suffer for what I did, and it's easier in the long run for him, if I don't bother him anymore. No one is going to blame him, everyone will blame me, which is the way it should be."

"How do you know that?" said Jeanie. "How do you know he's not suffering as bad as you are? You told me how hard it was for him when you broke up the first time. Why wouldn't it be as hard for him this time?"

"I am not going back or talking to him," said Penny. "All I would be doing is hurting him worse than I am now. I'll suffer through it, and I deserve to suffer for it. It's not fair to him, it my fucking fault, how don't you see that?"

Jeanie sighed, she knew Penny was stubborn, but she also knew how much she cared for Leonard. I'll leave it for now, but I'll keep working on her. I'll keep pushing her to go home. I might eventually get her to go. She didn't say anything for a few seconds, just looked at Penny. "OK, for now I'll leave it alone, except to say, Brent is not your fault. But, I do want to talk to you about what happened with Brent."

"What do you mean?"

"I just want to ask you some questions about that night," said Jeanie.

"Why?"

"Just play along with me for now," said Jeanie. "Like, how much do you remember drinking that night?"

"Just a glass of wine at Jake's," said Penny, "then another glass at his place."

"That's all?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmmmmmm, and you had a bad hangover?"

"Oh yeah," said Penny, "I had a bad headache, I was nauseous, was shaky on my feet, my eyes were blurry, I hurt all over…"

"Nauseous?" said Jeanie. "You aren't usually nauseous, are you?"

"Well, not very often," said Penny. "I have been one or two times before and yesterday."

"How long did you feel hungover?" said Jeanie.

"It was most of the day," said Penny. "I don't think I was fully back to normal until Thursday. Just didn't feel like I was right, know what I mean?"

"Not really, not for that long, anyway" said Jeanie. "Hmmmmm, OK, being hung over that long seems a bit weird. Anything else, that seemed strange to you?"

"No, the story he told me sounds plausible, it's something I've done before," said Penny. "Although the part of me saying something bad about Leonard doesn't sound right. But, if I was drunk, I guess it could have happened the way Brent said."

"I'm not sure I would trust Brent's word about anything," said Jeanie. "But, absent of any kind of memory from you, it's all we have to go on. Let me think about this some more. I may have more questions later."

"What kind of questions?"

"I really don't know, because I'm not sure myself, yet," said Jeanie, "I may have to look a few things up."

"What things?"

"I don't know," said Jeanie, "I have some ideas, but I have to narrow it down. I also have to talk to some other people I know in the business. But, I'll let you know when I got it."