"Hey, how'd therapy go?" Derek asked over the phone to Penelope. He knew that she didn't enjoy going so he wanted to check on her.

"Well she thinks I'm suicidal or something." Penelope said.

"Did she actually say that." Derek asked.

"She said that I place myself into dangerous situations on purpose, like I'm trying to get myself killed or something." Penelope explained as she paced around her apartment.

"Just been I got into a car with Battle and because I ran after the serial killer in Alaska... and I drove into work when I was under the influence... and took drugs from a random stranger. Maybe she does have a point." Penelope admitted.

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Oh honey you are many things but you are definitely not crazy. You've just been through a lot and you don't like dealing with it so you don't, you like to run so you don't have to feel the pain but now you can't run anymore and your being forced to feel everything that you've been avoiding for so long and you're freaking out a little bit but that's a good thing it means that you're healing. Derek said.

"If I'm supposed to be healing then why do I feel like I'm dying?" She asked.

"Because unfortunately healing hurts like hell." Derek said.

Penelope smiled slightly. "Thank you."

"For What?" Derek asked.

"For always being here for me even when I'm going insane." Penelope said.

"I love you." Derek said.

"And I love you, my hero." Penelope replied before hanging up the phone.

——

The next day at work Penelope was presenting the new case.

"You, My loves are going to San Jose California. Four woman have been stabbed to death while walking home alone at night."

"Garcia I can get another tech if your not up for it but I'd like you to come with us for this case." Hotch said.

"Of course I'll come." She replied.

"Ok wheels up in 20." Hotch announced.

——

As Penelope stepped of the jet she looked around at her surroundings. She couldn't believe that she was back here, the place where her life fell apart so many memories she had buried here and now she was back.

She hadn't thought that it would be a big deal before but now that she was actually here it proved more difficult then she anticipated.

"Morgan, Rossi and I will go check out the latest crime scene. JJ and Reid go speak to the victims family. Garcia I need you to see if you find any footage from the street cameras." Hotch said and they all split up to get to work.

——

After spending a week in Cali the team was finally able to catch the killer. Hotch had gave them all the day off and then they would be going home tomorrow.

"Where do you think you're going?" Derek asked teasingly as he saw Penelope waking out of the hotel room.

"I just have something that I need to do." She replied.

Derek just gave her a look as to say 'spill it'.

"I'm going to see my brothers ok." She admitted.

"Do you really think that's a good idea hon?" Derek asked.

"Oh I know it's a bad idea but it's something that I have to do." Penelope said honestly.

"Can I at least come with you?" Derek asked.

"I love you for offering but I need to do this alone." Penelope said before walking off.

She took a cab to her brother Carlos's house, she felt bad for just showing up unannounced but she knew that if she tried to call he would never answer her.

After taking a moment to gather up the courage she walked up the porch and knocked on the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked after opening up the door and seeing his sister standing there.

"I just wanted to talk to you guys. I know that you all blame me but it's been years and I just want to talk. Do you think that you could call others?" She asked hopefully.

He thought about it for a second before answering. "Fine I can't promise that anyone will show up but I guess I'll try."

"Thank you so much. Meet me at the house in an hour. Ok?" She said before leaving happily. She didn't know if she was ready to have this conversation but she was happy that she would at least get the chance.

The house wasn't too far away so she decided to just walk there. She still knew this city like the back of her hand. As she walked she took in the once familiar surroundings and she felt odd being back here in a way it was nice but it was also terrifying at the same time.

After about 20 minutes she reached the house. As she walked inside a feeling of calm cane over her everything was exactly how she remembered it, her brothers hadn't changed a thing.

She slowly walked through the living room and went upstairs to her old bedroom. She smiled as she opened the door and saw everything untouched. When she moved out and became a hacker she didn't really take anything with her so all of her old clothes and everything was still as she left it, it was comforting.

After a while she heard the front door open so she went downstairs and for the first time in what felt like forever she cane face to face with all of her brothers.

"Hi." She said nervously.

"So why are you here? What do you want?" Eddie snapped.

"I was just hoping that we could all talk like adults. I want to make things right with you guys." Penelope explained.

"I thought you were dead or something." Carlos said coldly. "You just decided to run away and become a fucking criminal. I had the fbi knocking on the door saying that you were a wanted felon and asking if we knew where you were!"

"I know that what I did was wrong, I've made a lot of mistakes but I'm still your sister and I—"

"No!" Manny cut her off. "You're Not our sister, I don't even know who you are, we know nothing about you. I thought you were either dead or in jail but clearly you're not so what have you been up to all this time."

"I was arrested for cybercrime's a couple of years after I ran away, but I never went to jail the FBI gave me a job instead and I work for them as a technical analyst for the behaviour analysis unit. That's actually why I'm in Cali right now There's been stabbings."

"So why did you suddenly decided to reach out to us?" Carlos asked still sounding stone cold.

"Look I understand that you are all still really mad at me and I don't blame you for it. Ive really messed up in the past and I am so incredibly sorry for it. I've just... seen a lot of things recently and It just brought up a lot of things and I guess I just wanted to see if there was any way that I could make it up to you." Penelope said.

They all laughed at her like she was crazy.

"Are you serious? You actually think that you can just show up here after all this time and everything would be ok? We want nothing to do with you, you killed our parents! The only way that you could possibly make anything better was if you switched places with them!" Carlos spat at her.

"Don't you think I would if I could!" Penelope said trying to hold back her tears. "I used to pray that god would kill me and let them live! But I can't change the past and I can't bring them back to life and I'm so so sorry that I can't."

"You know what, we're done here, our lives were so much better when you weren't in it so just do us all a favour and go back to being dead." Eddie said to her then they all turned to leave but he paused for a second as he opened and door and turned back around. "Oh and just for the record I used to pray that god would kill you too." He added before slamming the door behind him.

Penelope fell to the ground and cried after they left. She knew that she shouldn't have cane back here she just wanted to try and fix things, she wanted to believe that her brothers would have been able to move on from the past and see her as their sister again but she was wrong and now she was sitting on the stairs of her old house crying all alone, much like she had done on the night of her parents death.