A/N There's a bit of a milestone with this chapter. The story goes over 250k words with this chapter. Going back over the story (I reread it every couple of weeks, to make sure I'm consistent and maintain continuity), if I were to do it again (or if I edit it), there are quite a few places where I would cut back, or re-write to make it shorter, for example, maybe there was too much detail about the show. Anyway, onward.
Chapter 76.
Omaha Airport 10:30 AM Friday December 21th 2012.
Leonard had said thanks and goodbye to Susan, before he and Wyatt had left the farm at 8:30 AM. Upon arriving at the airport, they had found a restaurant just outside of security and were now finishing up their breakfast. They had paid their bill, and were sitting there, finishing their coffee.
"I really don't know what to tell you Leonard," said Wyatt. "Except I would like to keep in touch with you."
"I don't know Wyatt," said Leonard. "It might be too painful, as it might remind me of Penny. After I've moved on, well, maybe, but I'll be in Europe. So, all I can say is I can try, but if it's too much…I…I just don't know."
"I understand," said Wyatt. There was silence for a few seconds, and then he continued, "So, what's happening next?"
"Well, like I told you, I fly to New York, then drive to Princeton, to see my parents, separately as they're divorced. After that, I fly to Boston, to see my brother. On Christmas Day, I fly to JFK, and have a four hour layover, before I fly out to England at 8:00 PM. After that, it's going to depend on what Oxford has planned for me, and my housing arrangements, in England."
"You're going to be in New York?" asked Wyatt, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes, but I'm just passing through," said Leonard. "And, no, I'm not going to try to call her. I only have four hours, and that will be at JFK."
"But, why, if you…"
"Wyatt," said Leonard sadly, "she hasn't answered any calls from me since the letter. I'm leaving the country, and even if she answered, it would be over an hour before she could get to the airport. It's just better if I don't try to contact her."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you, Leonard," said Wyatt. "Except, live your life. You can't blame yourself."
"I know," said Leonard. He looked at his watch and said, "I've got to get going Wyatt. I have about another hour and a half, and have to get through security and it looks like there's quite a line."
They both rose and started walking. When they got to security, Leonard turned and held out his hand, "Thank you Wyatt. For everything you've done."
"Take care son," said Wyatt, "and thank you for trying again, I still think you're a keeper. It's a shame it didn't work out, but that's not your fault. Besides, I have a feeling that this isn't over."
Leonard sadly shook his head and said, "I can't see any way back Wyatt. It would take years and some extraordinary circumstances, for things to work out now, and I can't currently see a way for it to happen."
"I understand," said Wyatt, "Take care, Leonard."
"Goodbye Wyatt," said Leonard, "take care."
They shook hands one more time, then Leonard turned and walked toward the security line. Getting there he turned and seeing Wyatt looking, waved at him. Wyatt waved back, then turned and left.
Apt 314 1:30 PM Friday December 21th 2012.
Penny had woken up with a hangover, but after getting a shower, and some coffee, had felt better. She had then fixed herself breakfast and while she ate, and for the rest of the morning, she, again, started thinking about her situation. She had been going over things in her mind for the last couple of days, but she really hadn't solved the problem at work, with Brent and his friends. While Jeanie had been accompanying her around, she didn't think keeping her as a body guard was really a solution.
She was still feeling depressed about breaking up with Leonard. Along with the guilt and shame for what had caused it, in her mind there was an overall feeling of worthlessness, how she was just a slut. Worst of all, she was missing him terribly, and that was all her fault, no one else's. If she had just talked to him, she might not be in this situation. but she hadn't talked to him, she broke up with him, so she only had herself to blame. With all that, there was a new problem. Bernadette and, to a lesser extent, Amy were mad at her, not that she could blame them. She had been a bitch to both of them, and she was sure, that in their minds anyway, they were just trying to help her. But, they hadn't stopped pressing her about what had happened, even when she asked them to stop.
All this had been running through her head, for the last week and no kind of resolution had come to her. She had managed to keep from drinking, except for that glass last night, but after thinking about everything since Tuesday, she had gotten more and more depressed. Penny sighed, feeling today was going to be the same as the last few days. The only break from the routine had been Jeanie stopping by, before she left for Boston. Penny had been thinking a lot of Jeanie during these days. She'd been helpful and kind to Penny, something Penny still couldn't believe, considering that Penny was just starting out.
She felt the walls closing in on her and felt she had to get out of the apartment for the day, deciding to go sightseeing. She left the apartment, and spent some time at Rockefeller Center watching the skaters, and looking at the Christmas tree, then took the NBC Studios Tour. It was fun seeing other studios, set up differently than her own studio, especially now that she had experience and knew what she was looking at. She also got to take a tour of the theatre, where David Letterman's show was shot. She thought it was fun, seeing it from the audience side, instead of being on the stage. Some other people, in the tour, had recognized her, and asked for autographs.
JFK Airport, NY 2:30 PM Friday December 21th 2012.
Leonard left the rental car parking lot and followed the signs to get out of JFK, and then found the entrance to the Belt Parkway. He would be on this for about 20 minutes, before getting on the Verrazano-Narrows bridge. This would lead him to the New Jersey Turnpike, and then on to Princeton. He would drive for about an hour, before stopping for lunch in New Brunswick, at a small cafe he had eaten at on prior visits. After lunch, he would continue to the Hyatt Regency, near Princeton.
He had called his mother and father at the airport to set up a meeting with them. The call to his mother went as expected, she had been cold toward him, but agreed to meet him for lunch. The call to his father went much better. His father seem genuinely glad to hear from him, and said he was looking forward to meeting him tomorrow, for dinner. He did a quick calculation and figured out he would get in around three, and he looked forward to a nap before dinner. After dinner, he needed to call Howard and Bernadette, as he promised. Then, see his parents tomorrow, before flying to Boston on Sunday. He settled in for the drive and found he only had about 2 miles before the bridge.
Apt 314 8:30 PM Friday December 21th 2012.
Penny had gotten back to her apartment just after 4:30 PM, glad that she had gotten out of the apartment for a little bit. After thinking about all of her problems, over the last few days, being able to not think about them, while sightseeing today, was a big relief for her. However, now that she was home, all those thoughts came flooding back. In addition, with no one else there, she felt all alone, dreading the night. She felt she needed to drink, to keep those thoughts and feelings away. She knew she only had a half a bottle, and decided a run to the grocery store, was what she needed for tonight.
So, Penny had gone to the store, and after returning made and ate dinner, then cleaned up. She then started watching TV, and drinking wine. It was several hours later, when she heard Bernadette's ringtone, from her phone. Penny had seen that she had called several times today, and there were several more calls from Amy. They must be really desperate to talk to her. They had both left messages asking Penny to call them, but Penny had no desire to talk to them tonight. She had had a good day, and if the last few calls were any indication, she didn't want to end her good day with a fight or being told what she was doing was wrong or what she should do.
Around 10 PM, after two bottles, she decided to go to the bathroom to finish her usual rituals, before going to bed. She had been struggling to get to sleep over the last few days, because her mind would keep going over everything that had happened in the last few months. But, tonight, the alcohol and being tired, allowed Penny to fall asleep quickly.
Princeton, NJ 8:30 PM Saturday December 22th 2012.
Leonard was driving back to his hotel, from dinner with his father. It had been an interesting day for him. He had lunch with his mother, and the meeting with her went exactly how he had expected it to go. She was cold, distant, and offered no congratulations for the new position and the large raise.
She seem to be more interested in who he had talked to, for comfort, after Penny broke up with him. She was disappointed that he didn't reach out to anyone in the family, and seemed upset, that he didn't want to talk to her about it.
After a tense, 45 minutes together, Leonard had managed to end the lunch and say goodbye to his mother. He had even been able to give her a short hug, but the lunch and hug had been so exhausting to him, he decided to take a nap that afternoon, before seeing his father.
The dinner with his father, was much more enjoyable. His father had offered condolences about the breakup, then when Leonard asked, talked about finding complete skeletons of an Etruscan family. He explained to Leonard how this was helping him with his ideas of the Etruscans, now that he had been able to study more than a single young male. This had caused a struggle in Leonard, as he really hated the Etruscan boy his father had worked with during Leonard's childhood, and didn't want to hear any more about it. However, the descriptions, and his father's ideas, about the family were interesting to Leonard.
Afterward, his father had asked about Leonard's work, both experimental and theoretical and seemed genuinely interested. While Leonard explained his work, and how his experiments may lead to a theoretical breakthrough, they had finished dinner. They ordered desert, and as they ate it, his father had congratulated Leonard for his position and raise and told him he was proud of him. He also told Leonard that he regularly flew through London, on his way back from Italy, and asked Leonard if he wanted to know when, so they could meet up. This was something unexpected, but this had made Leonard happy and he readily agreed.
It was shortly after that, after some warm goodbyes, that Leonard left to go back to his hotel. Upon arriving, he took out his clothes for tomorrow and pack the clothes he was wearing, away. He planned on leaving here at 10 AM, stopping for lunch during the drive, and getting to his terminal at JFK around noon, for his 2 PM flight.
He set everything, but his toiletries near the door, then went to take a shower. Finished with that, he made his usual preparations for bed and got to bed rather early. He decided this was better, knowing tomorrow was going to be a long day. As he laid there, trying to get to sleep, it was disconcerting to him, that he kept thinking about Penny.
Apt 314 9:30 PM Saturday December 22th 2012.
Penny looked at the clock and decided it was time. She had spent all day thinking about how the conversation with Bernadette was going to go. She felt bad about the previous call, but was going to stand her ground, telling Bernadette she needed to stop bugging her about what had happened, because she didn't know the full story.
She had poured a glass of wine, and after sitting at the table, selected Bernadette's number and hit call. After two rings she heard Bernadette say, "Is that you Penny?"
"Yeah, it's me," said Penny.
"Wait a minute," said Bernadette. Penny could hear Bernadette in the background, "Amy, come on…just come with me…will you quit asking questions, just come with me. Just don't ask Howard, I'll tell you later."
Penny heard steps, a door close and then Bernadette say, "Amy, Penny's on the phone."
"She is?"
'Yeah, hold on why I put her on speaker."
"Penny can you hear us?"
"Yes, I can," said Penny, "are you over at the apartment for dinner?"
"Yes she is," said Amy, "her and Howard are helping me move into my new bedroom, well Leonard's old bedroom."
"What?" exclaimed Penny. "You moved in with Sheldon?"
"Well, kind of," said Amy, "Leonard suggested I move into his room, to help Sheldon get over his leaving. But, he told me later, that he also was trying to help Sheldon get used to having me live with him. So hopefully it will be permanent."
"How was Leonard?"
"What does it matter?" said Bernadette. "He's gone now, so it doesn't matter, does it?"
Penny choked up, the statement, while true, had hurt her and had made her a bit angry. "What do you mean it doesn't matter?"
"Well, why does it matter?" said Bernadette. "He's gone and won't be back, so asking about him, really doesn't matter. But, I'll tell you. He was so down about the whole thing, he was a total wreck. And, it's because of you."
Penny knew she was right, she beat herself up enough because of it, so she didn't need to be reminded of it. Why does Bernadette keep hounding me about it? "Well, I still care about him."
"I don't see how you could care," said Bernadette, "you're the one that did this to him."
"I know that," said Penny bitterly. "Yes, I fucked up. Yes, I've been a bitch. Yes, I'm a damn slut. I know all of that. But, I don't need the two of you reminding me of it all the time."
"Well," said Amy, "from what he said, he left because of you. Because you wouldn't talk to him, and you wouldn't tell him what was going on. So why didn't you tell him?"
Penny felt she was being double-teamed, and she didn't like it. She didn't want to fight with them, "Look, I feel bad enough, I know I handled it badly. But, he made the decision to leave."
"Yeah," said Bernadette, "he left because what you did, drove him to it. He couldn't deal with all the places around here that made him think of you."
"I'm sorry," said Penny softly, "but it was still his decision to leave."
"While true," said Amy, "if you hadn't broken up with him, he wouldn't have been so down about remembering the two of you together, and he wouldn't have had to leave. So why did you break up with him?"
"I don't want to talk about it," said Penny.
"And we're back to you not talking," said Bernadette. "And to think, I told him to go and get you."
"What?" said Penny.
"I told him to go get you," said Bernadette. "And he said no, he didn't want to spoil your dream. I even asked him what about his dream about being with you, and he said you being happy was his dream."
Upon hearing this, Penny started crying.
"He didn't want to risk running into you and Brent, and make it embarrassing for you. Yeah, he saw the article," said Bernadette accusingly. "He knows about you and Brent. But, you wouldn't talk to him, you wouldn't tell him you were seeing someone else, you just left him hanging."
"I couldn't," hollered Penny, "because there was nothing to tell. I told you, you don't understand."
"Well, then tell us," said Amy.
Penny was getting frustrated with both of them. She had told them not to push her on this, but they kept it up.
"I told you before," said Penny, "I can't tell you the whole story. But, I am not seeing Brent. So, forget that article and just get off my back."
"Well, isn't that nice of you," said Bernadette sarcastically, "you're not dating Brent. Well, in that case, all you did was to treat your boyfriend like shit, wouldn't tell him what was going on, and then break up with him by letter. Is that about it?"
"Damn you, damn you," said Penny, tears again starting, knowing it was true.
"That wasn't an answer Penny," said Amy.
"You know what," said Penny softly, with a sob. "Bernadette, all you're doing is pushing me on this. I've asked you to stop, but you don't. Please don't push me, I don't need that…"
"But, Penny, it's you who need…" started Amy.
Penny continued over her, " Look, I'm beating myself up about it, as it is, and I don't need you two to do that. I know you're trying to help, but it's just making me feel worse. I asked you to stop, but you keep on pushing me. I'm trying to move on, but you keep bringing it up. Leonard definitely has moved on, after all, he left. But, it's you two that can't seem to move on."
Penny paused, "All we do lately, on our calls is fight. You push me, even though I tell you not to, then we fight. I don't want to fight with you anymore, it's not fair to you. The only way I can see us not fighting, is by not talking to you, anymore. Goodbye."
Amy and Bernadette heard the call disconnect and they looked at each other. Did she really mean that? They weren't sure, but they both knew they would try to call her again.
Apt 314 10:00 PM Saturday December 22th 2012.
Penny threw the phone into a cushion on the other end of the couch, then pulled the closest cushion into her arms, and cried into the cushion. After a half hour she calmed down, blew her nose, and wiped her eyes.
They didn't understand, how can the keep blaming me like that. OK, yeah, I treated Leonard horribly, and breaking up with him that way wasn't right. It is my fault, but they don't know how hard this has been for me. And, why do they keep bringing it up? If they are going to push me like that, we're just going to end up fighting, and I just don't want to to that anymore. They don't deserve that and I can't take it. Jeanie doesn't do that, she helps me. But, she won't be back until after Christmas.
Penny looked around the apartment, and felt lonely. I don't want to spend Christmas alone, I'll call my dad and go home. Penny looked at the clock and saw it was almost 11:30 PM. 10:30 in Omaha, and my parents go to bed at ten. I'll call tomorrow, it's not like it's an emergency.
Penny was feeling down, so she walked into the kitchen and poured another glass. She then took another bottle out of the fridge, knowing it would be more than one bottle again, tonight.
JFK 1 PM Sunday December 23th 2012.
Leonard finally arrived at JFK, about an hour late, but he found the lot to turn in his rental car. He had left as he planned at 10 AM this morning, and after a half hour of driving, stopped for brunch. It had taken him about 45 minutes at the cafe, then he continued the drive to JFK looking to get in at noon, as he planned.
Unfortunately, there had been one wreck on the Jersey Turnpike, and another on interstate 95, approaching Staten Island. Why can't Jersey drivers drive? he thought. The backed-up traffic had him running later than he planned.
He had turned in his car, and by the time he checked his luggage, and made it to his gate, they were boarding the aircraft. He had had to use his inhaler twice, before getting to the gate. Now, he boarded the aircraft, and sort of collapsed into his seat, used his inhaler one more time, and was just happy he had made it in time.