1990

No, good choices are made not on the journey, but in a moment, at a fork in the road. This is how the brain is; it is how we are. The forward motion comes best when the primitive drive and the higher social brain agree on a path. "Enough of this, we show no mercy," my hand slammed on the table spilling my drink as my wife, Princess Shaylee gave me such a loathing look. Her mother was not in attendance today letting her daughter oversee this consul meeting.

She did not hinder in her words, "Commander Gideon, you close-minded fool. I suggest you keep your mouth closed unless you have something productive to say, you are here because you normally are, you're not needed though. Viktor, I do not condone the killing of children no matter their race, woman, and men are another subject, but one female must be left alive to watch over those children. We're great protectors of the human race but we're no savages to kill those who can not defend themselves, children in every race are innocent. If any see fit to speak up to me on this, please do so," her eyes are containing the fire as they move over each of us, they lingered on me though.

I shut my mouth, she was strong of will and hard of head.

Viktor was the ruler of Naul's old tribe, I hated him as much as the one he replaced but he was a good ruler. He spoke, "I can agree with you on this, a child can be molded into something good. Like you, an angel here on Earth you have seen past the Commander's killing of the humans and married him trying to mold him into something more," his tone was so mixed, sly and awestruck.

She frowned, her brow turned into worry the rumors have increased myself have only heard small things, but Ophir has alerted me she has started to hear much more and that it was time to talk with her.

I was not weak and could talk to her, she was the love of my life, every day was new and I never thought it possible but daily I fell in love with her even more.

Though the sunset was illuminating the horizon, the woodland pathway was still dark. The trees stood as if charcoal against the deep blue sky. The only flash of color was the orange pouring across the skyline like molten lead from a furnace.

An angel is one who loves, who does their best to help others, who goes the extra mile to do what's right when there's nothing in it for themselves at all. But angels still look after themselves, they can feel such exquisite emotional pain and loneliness is a torture to them. They can still love in any way they wish or need, we all have those rights, right? "Might we talk, I should have spoken to about this so very long ago," her eyes are soft now and filled with her love and passion.

She gives me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me. "I was waiting for this moment for some time, it never should have taken so long, Gideon. Our marriage, for the most part, has been built on lies. I am here to listen," her tone was gentle as she sits in her alcove her eyes on me as I stay feet away at my desk, the battle plans forgotten for now.

She needs the truth, " 'I have wrong you, Gale warned me before we married so long ago to talk to you. Our marriage is built on lies and blood, your Grandmother never wanted us to marry and I never blamed her either but I am selfish and have loved you with such devotion,"

"Devotion is not your issue, you're closeminded and feel you can act as if you're in control which will never ring true," I nod trying to just tell her of those dark times.

I continued, "I am not a good man, Shaylee. Before you were even born, my sister Halo was killed before she could stop aging by a demon. I was with your father at the ball, no I was not seeking the Queen's hand in marriage. I was the one who should have protected her and I failed her, after that my outlook changed on many things. I deep down I loathe the humans, even as time has passed they have done nothing but grown more ignorant and destructive in their behavior. I am not the only Gargoyle to think this, but they stay silent as this is what we were created for," taking another deep breath, she was just looking at me her face devoid of emotion but her eyes are still soft and passionate. I was not telling her anything she did not already understand of me.

"I killed humans, for no other reasons but I hated them. I have killed children of other races, demons. Your father knew I needed help and sent for me, I was his best friend, so he brought me here to grow. Your mother begged me not to leave after he passed. Gargoyle's either like me or do not, all know of my past, but none have outright spoken to you,"

She moved to look at me, her cheeks are red. "You killed for fun? Killed children," now her voice was cutting me.

"Yes, my love. I have done terrible things,"

She seemed to radiate raw power, "When was the last time you have done such vile acts," I couldn't lie, no more lies.

I stood but she held her hand up, telling me to keep my distance. "While you aged, I left for a few months to rule Perth while my brother aged and father went on missions to find the passion he had lost. I took a legion with me, half of us butchered a coven of demons all of them. The rest spat on our choice, they thought the children were innocent, my father found out and alerted me he was disappointed and disgusted with my actions. As for killing a human, days after your birth,"

She looked horrified at me, my heart broke seeing this raw pain she held. "Do you hold any regret or sadness in these vile actions?"

To lie was screaming in my head.

"No, I have never. I did what I wanted, riding the world of vile creatures and vile humans."

She turned in slow motion, at least to me, but in reality, her head snapped to the side her eyes like fire. "You do not feel remorse about killing children and humans, the very species we were created to protect, Gideon. How could you be so cold," her voice cracked now.

"I hate hurting you, my love. But I would do it all again the only thing I would change is telling you sooner,"

She spat in hate, a very rare thing. "But not before we wed, you knew I would not wed you knowing your past. I love humans and have a passion for children, many demon children have been taken in by clans and raised with love and light. You have seen them, seen what good they have when raised right. Any of us can be evil and vile as you have just proven to me, you have lied and betrayed me," every word was so filled with pain, I jumped up to go to her but a blast of energy hit my chest sending me back.

She was snarling, "How dare you, how dare my mother," she strode from our room leaving me in the painful silence. This fear is my challenge and my demon to slay, for it will come until I do, unannounced and gnarly. The only way out is to order this brain to function, to demand solutions instead of this crazy-making circling anxiety. So, though it feels as if my bones have no more strength and my muscles are all out of power, I still have the option to remain still, to be quiet enough to choose how to fight for her.

Ophir walked in looking very frustrated, "Commander Gideon, I hoped she would not, that she sees that you have changed. She has asked for you to remove your belongings and return to your old chambers until she wishes it otherwise. She at this time is with her mother," I bolted for her consul chamber knowing my wife and the Queen would be there.

The room was warm but Shaylee her power made it seem like a vast chill was raging. "Commander Gideon, I don't approve of my daughter's actions. But she has made it clear it is her choice until she orders it you will be in your old chambers,"

Shaylee was fuming, "You do not approve, mother. But here you approved of me marrying a baby killer, he killed those we were born to protect, you have taken a firm stance in his defense. I am appalled in this,"

Keziah and Kylie take a stance around her, "I, my Queen, I side with the Princess in this endeavor. Commander Gideon, he has wronged our race and holds no remorse in his heart for his vile actions." Keziah stood tall knowing Shaylee would take her defense against all.

Kylie gave her love a sad look, Gale never went against me in this but never acted on it. "None of us are above Michael, you allowed his deeds against humans to go un-punished gave him honor by being your guard. A duty he has exceeded in," at least I didn't fail at something.

I spoke at last, "Our kind doesn't do such things, it will cause discord among us to have us in separate chambers. She is my wife,"

Shaylee snapped nailing me in the head with her mother's marble book holder. "You vile bastard, you will go now remove your belongings. I suggest you leave and do it or like the humans, I will divorce you, I unlike some do what is right for our kind," her stunning face was filled with grief as Gale and Ophir escorted me back to our shared chamber. Gale and Ophir helped me, everyone looked at me seeing my shame, some looked more than happy it came at all.

I was left alone in my old chambers, "I should have lied,"

At supper, she ignored me her face pale, her eyes red from crying as Kylie and Keziah sit with her whispering in low tones. Ophir, bless him gave me a nod alerting me he would speak to her after his beloved went to bed.

I sighed, "Gideon, she loves you, my friend. I am sorry, she is as mad at me as she is you," she placed her hand over mine and it did help, I still had the Queen on my side.

"Thank you, my grace," I meant it from the bottom of my cold black heart.