Here is a small update, my mother was using my laptop and spilled her coffee on it! Currently don't have one so using my daughters this one time. I will update all my stories, am in the process of getting a new laptop.

This was not how our marriage should have been, yes only days had passed but her righteous anger was still there. I walk like my limbs don't really belong to me and each step is a negotiation rather than an order. Everything hurts now. Every damn thing. I wince to cross the floor, heading to our seats the Queen was in front of me with my hand pressed to the small of her back. Princess Shaylee hardly even gave her mother a nod of her head in welcome, she would forgive her mother before me. Pain is an invisible, subjective and open dispute unless it is one's own pain. Aches are worse, always taken to be less then they are and hardly ever thought of without the possibility of the sufferer magnifying their woes. Sometimes I think the reaction a person has to another's pain tells more about that person than they'd like. Maybe it's just that they were never listened to as a kid, but no matter the cause they lean toward disbelief rather than empathy.

I was not better.

I tried, "My love," but the way her eyes turned to fire. Her eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard. At that moment I knew she was already far away. Once more I was the enemy. These swings from most loved to most hated would be the end of me. Her states had no greyscale, only the polar extremes existed. I drew in a deep breath; the burning hard stare would last only as long as it took for me to back down from her. But today I tried again, "Princess, please. Just let me talk with you alone much do I have to atone for. You're my wife the single being that I truly love with all of myself," Keziah gave her a look, telling her to calm down but Shaylee had already carved her own destiny and was not taking orders from anyone anymore.

Venom dripped from her tongue, "I suggest you sit down and close your mouth, for now, you're not welcomed in my company, no baby killer is. If I was to find those who aided you they be banished and so should you, my dear husband,"

Snapping, "Nye, only the Queen can do any type of banishing,"

"And one day that will be me, and you will not be the man at my side, Commander Gideon," her mother stood her hand on my chest, her other going out to touch her daughter but Shaylee stood back. "No, you knew he was a killer and never told me your daughter. You have more loyalty to him than I," this was not right, every Gargoyle was watching this. Yes, the Princess herself was allotted to be outspoken to the Queen. But with the Princess firmly against her husband, this was causing discord among us. I stood there frozen as I watched in awe at her expression. I saw nothing short of disgust on her face, almost hatred, as her face reddened with anger. I was mortified, frozen to the spot. I felt traumatized. I couldn't believe it had happened, and in front of everybody too. I stood soaking her face in, she turned on her heel with Kylie and Keziah walking behind her only the loud slam of the oak doors could be heard.

With great effort I sat rather than chase her down, "She no longer loves me, my Queen. Did you not see her face," the Queen gave a long sigh. "I did, she is angry but deep down her love will win over. But you must keep trying to win her back. You will not sit back and let her leave you. If you love her you find a damn way to make it right with her, my advice is to start with Kylie," she was right, Kylie was firmly one the Princesses side but would at the very least talk to my last real friend her mate, Gale.

"Aye, you're always right, my Queen." I ate while everyone watched me, some smiling at my shame the others more worried and with good right.

These difficult emotions, I see them like a river flowing by me. I sit here upon the grass and onward they go. In a few days the water is calm again and so am I. There is nothing to be done about them, just stay calm, do healthy things and then everything is okay again. Than Gale comes in with his mate, Kylie gave him a very disgruntled look. "My love, all I ask is hear him out. In no way must you do anything more, the Queen personally asked this," this left her in a bind but she sat with grace far from me.

I started, "How is my wife, is she eating and sleeping?" her face twisted, and it looked as if she would not answer me.

Almost shyly she spoke, "She has had issues with both, not thanks to you, Commander. How could she sleep knowing the man she devoted herself to, the man she loves more than herself has done such un-speak able acts. She used to hate you for how you acted but then she saw little aspects of good in you, she loved you flaws and all, but you lied and created a foundation of lies and blood. How dare you do such a thing to her, you have shamed us," her face growing red and in a very new emotional state, she moved faster than either of us, her blade sticking from my shoulder blade. I glanced down and when I looked up, she was sitting back down looking rather unbothered by her actions. For now, it best the blade stayed in as I grunted taking my seat.

Gale looked shocked, "I am wrong, Kylie. I hated life and nearly all in it other than a select few. My hatred towards every demon remains, yes when I killed those demon children I was in a very bad place. They never cared Halo was not aged, she was a child too, but she lay dead. The Dark Prince never cared Princess Shaylee was a mere child when he came for her one night, I had just returned my feet touched the floor when she screamed. He planned to take her then and raise her to be his wife, I was able to save her that night. Demons have taken those I loved, Theo our King, Halo my only sister, they turned my only brother against not just our nation of protectors but his family. In your emotional distress did you not act out,"

"You're no child, Commander. I full-grown man did these terrible acts to you, not a child, it is Shaylee who loves our adopted demons' children, finds them loving host to show them the good and that they have the choice to be whomever they chose. You hold no remorse,"

I was faint, "No, I do not. But I know I was wrong; I cannot change the past but I can make a better future and learn from mistakes that were made. But I love Shaylee, more than she knows, she has been the single good thing in my life. I have loved her since she stopped aging. I just need her to talk to me, she doesn't have to forgive me, just to listen to me," she stood her eyes on Gale.

Like a whip she spoke, "I do not suggest you trick me again. I will talk to our Princess and only because he is honest in his desire to make amends for his past actions and his emotional state when these actions happened played a part. But I suggest to you Commander show her from afar a softer side to you, and make it in a way it will force her to watch to listen," she strode leaving me bleeding.

"Ward, please, " I asked as he helped me up, the blue blood soaking the clothing as we rushed from the Red room seeing the Queen with Baruchel and Ophir, "Kylie spoke to him…in her own way," Gale blushed dragging me off but right now my mind was going a mile a minute with a way to get her attention. I was healed and upright by dinner when I stood looking down at the Queen, "I must go for some time, you're protected here. I need to find something I lost long ago," I had no reason to ever believe it could be found again.

Princess Shaylee, her head turned to gaze at us, but this time I acted as if I didn't notice. "If you must, then I wish you a safe journey, my friend,"

"I must be well my Queen," it hurt, every step away from my wife hurt me like a blade to the shoulder but I moved as if through the mud to my chamber my ax and bag ready for me to find my humanity or what emotions that evade me, since her death.

Kylie and Shaylee are watching from the North tower, her eyes hold no love, but I see worry and I held on to that if she worried maybe love still holds true inside her. I fly higher and higher until she nor myself can be seen, I was going home to confront Halo's death. Kylie was right no child did this, I wanted to see these demons we raised up close and see for myself.

"I will return my love,"