As Saitama made his way back to his apartment, Gendo was realizing further implications of a robo-Yui. Specifically the prevention of Instrumentality, since it required a piloted Unit-1. Knowing, and not really caring about SEELE's possible reactions, Gendo made a footnote in his mind about this, since he had somehow forgotten that a major part of instrumentality hinged on Unit-1. This slight lapse in the mind is solely Gendo's, and is in no way related to the author at all. The sudden forgetfulness of Gendo's mind that is in no way the author accidentally overlooking a major plot point out of the way, the story picks up at the Katsuragi apartment.

When deciding on the housing of the newly appeared Saitama, Gendo decided to place him near the Katsuragi apartment as a guardian to the pilots. Why Gendo chose to put an unknown variable next to the two most important children on Earth, is possibly also a lapse of judgement on Gendo's part. Not the author's. Remember that kids, any plotholes are due to characters being dumb, and most certainly not the author's incompetence to think of a valid and reasonable excuse.

Explanations aside, certain amounts of exposition is necessary to give the reader a feel of life in the Katsuragi household with Saitama. He'd first been introduced to the Major's happy little family through his nose. His heightened sense caught a whiff of Shinji's cooking wafting over to his apartment and unable to resist the smell (and also free food) he invited himself in.

FFFFFFlashback time.

*Knocking Sounds*

Shinji: Coming!

*Opens Door*

Shinji: Hello. How can I help you?

Saitama: Hey kid. Can I come in?

Shinji: What?

Saitama: I'm your new neighbor.

*Misato Comes to the Door*

Misato: Who's this?

Shinji: Our new neighbor.

Saitama: I smelled the food and wanted to check it out.

Misato: Oh why didn't you say so? Our Shinji's a great cook. Come on in! By the way what's your name?

Saitama: It's Saitama. Oh, and I brought drinks.

*Indicates Bag of Red Bean Jelly Cider*

FFFFFFlashback end.

After the events displayed in the FFFFFFlashback, the occurrence of Saitama frequenting the Kuragatsi household gradually increased, much to the dismay of one Ryoji Kaji. Normally one as suave and roguish as Kaji would not normally feel as if he were in competition for the affections of the buxom Major Kuragatsi were it not for the physically impressive stature of Saitama, which brings us to a humorous anecdote that the author could find no other way to incorporate into the chapter.

FFFFFFlashback time. (Not the same format though)

'Twas a typical evening in the Kuragatsi apartment. Asuka sat in the living room, watching TV, Shinji was in his room, SDAT on, earbugs plugged in, the good Major was currently participating in a drinking competition with her penguin(the latter of which was winning), and Saitama had recently entered the apartment.

The resident hero made his merry way to the living room, intent on reading one of his manga's in the previously stated room.

Out of reflex, he took off his shirt and tossed it against the wall. Lying down onto the floor with a manga in hand, he began to read.

He'd barely opened the cover when a loud noise that is generally classified as a shriek sent its sound waves into his eardrums.

"You lecherous old pervert! Why is your shirt off?!" Screeched Asuka, though in nicer terms you could use the word 'cried.'

Then she paused and fully processed the sight before her. A shirtless Saitama lay before her, bare as the day he'd been expelled from his mother's birth canal. Waist up only though, because while Saitama was a hero for fun, he was not an exhibitionist for fun.

"You and Misato walk around in your underwear all the time," He responded, "why can't I take off my shirt?"

"That's different and you know it!"

Drawn by the noise, Misato drunkenly lumbered into the room.

"Whash all the fush abou- Oh my."

Before her eyes lay Saitama surprisingly well muscled upper body. Since he was so strong, it would make sense that he would have a reasonable amount of muscle to correlate with his strength, she reflected.

There are events in the universe so rare and improbable that they would likely never occur within recorded history, such as the planets of the solar system aligning to open the prison of several villains sealed away thousands of years ago whom would require four man-sized mutant turtles defeat, or the entrance of Ryoji Kaji right as Misato was viewing the considerable muscle mass of a hero for fun.

"Hey Misato, you want to get a drin- Saitama."

"Oh, hey Kaji."

"Put your shirt back on."

"Excuse me?"

"Kaji's jealous! The 'suave spy' is jealous of a bald dude! Hahahaha," laughed Misato, "Hey maybe I should starting dating Saitama! He's nice, got good abs, probably good in bed, and best of all, you can't even kill him!"

Observant readers may notice the alcohol caused speech impediment that could be heard earlier in Misato's voice had disappeared. This however, is not due to author incompetence. It is a well known fact that the well muscled upper bodies of bald men are a legitimate inducer of sobriety upon drunken women.**

"You if do I will find a way," promised Kaji.

Shinji, having somehow heard the commotion from his room with his earbuds in, sighed and dragged himself into the living room to see what all the fuss was about.

"What's going on? Why is Kaji here and why is Saitama shirtless?"

"I take it back," said Asuka, "Kaji is not the epitome of a man. Saitama is."

Inwardly Kaji winced. Although he might not reciprocate any of Asuka's advances in the romantic sector of social interactions, that one hurt his pride as a man.

"Take a good look at him, baka. This is what a real man looks like."

"Uh, that's nice and all, but could you not chase after me too? Heroes aren't supposed to be pedophiles."**

Shinji took in the situation and chose to perform his default response to Life, the Universe, and Everything Asuka did, which was to take it and sigh. Drawing in air to his perpetually sighing lungs, he let loose a mournful sigh and retreated back to his room.

Saitama, noticing his exit, told Asuka, "That wasn't very nice."

"Hmph. Why should I care about that baka's feelings?"

Saitama sighed. He'd have to do something about Asuka and Shinji. Maybe he could spend chapter 4 coming up with a plan or something. Not chapter 3 though, he has a meeting with Arael in chapter 3, with predictable results.

Gradually, all the excitement of the night died down. Saitama put his shirt back on, Asuka went to bed, Misato went drinking with Kaji, and the world kept on turning.

The End (of chapter 2. Wouldn't want you thinking that I was done with the entire story now, would I?)

*It is said that the baldness of a monk once attracted a particularly inebriated woman who took it upon herself to clean his head. Upon realizing the extent of her actions, her shame could be felt throughout the universe in all members of the female gender. From that day forward every woman had a subconscious implant within their mind that would stop them from performing hygienically questionable acts upon bald heads while drunk.

**Although Puri-Puri Prisoner was most assuredly a sex offender, but he was still S-class, much to the dismay of the other heroes.

A/N: How'd you like the FFFFFFlashbacks? I don't know why I chose the script format for the first one. I'm terrible with dialogue and that was just plain torture to me. Also, the pacing and transitioning was all over the place. The inclusion of footnotes are due to me recently reading Terry Pratchett. I find footnotes terribly amusing and decided to try some. Anyways, how'd you like this apple? Did you laugh? Did you snort? Did you smile? Did you die a little upon viewing this atrocity upon literature? Leave a review.