A/N: Here's your semi-bi-annual dose of angel punching.
Edit as of 12/28/17: For those that came here for a new chapter, it isn't this one. This is chapter shifted up one. The actual new chapter is chapter 1. Please go there for the new chapter.
"What's taking him so long?" Complained Asuka, as whe waited for Saitama to arrive and perform his signature 'one punch' on the angel. At the current point of events Asuka and Rei* were mere formalities, standing by in their respective Eva's in case something were to drastically fail with Saitama and his angel-punching capabilities. Currently, the resident bald man was trapped within the confines of his toilet due to drinking milk that had exceeded its 'consume by' date. In hindsight, when milk is discounted at an 80% increment and sold at a seedy ghetto grocery store, it is usually a sign that the quality may be sub par to FDA standards.
As fate, or the big man upstairs, aka the guy with the keyboard, would have it, the aftereffects of the expired milk chose to make themselves apparent with the coinciding appearance of the 15th angel.
"Why can't I just go and kick the angel's ass?" Whined Asuka, who continued to complain.
Dr. Ritsuko opted for the textbook answer. "Because we are unsure of the angel's capabilities, and it is not displaying any signs of hostile activity while also remaining in orbit, outside of the range of our positron weapons, therefore the safest option is to wait for Saitama."
She said the word 'Saitama' with a slight edge, because his plan to create a cyborg Yui had dramatically derailed her fantasies of romance and Gendo Ikari, proving that, sometimes, it is impossible to please everyone.
"If the angel shows signs of attacking, or preparing an attack on the Geofront, you may engage. If it remains stationary, this may be a chance to see if Saitama's story of being kicked to the moon is true."
"Why do we have to wait for something I could do right now? You're supposed to be smart, have you ever heard of a preemptive strike?"
"I agree with the statement but the positron weapons simply do not have the range to hit it from your current position. So why don't you wait for someone who can?"
Asuka, fed up with letting a bald man in a cheap hero costume steal all her glory, and with her arguments proven wrong by irrefutable logic, reacted in the way most people of a hot-headed nature tend to react when proven wrong with no course of action to change it, in an unnecessary and often futile action that creates more problems and trouble, in that she decided to perform an incredibly unwise move, at least to everyone who knows where this is going, and raised her positron rifle and let off a few shots in frustration.
The angel, obviously unhappy about being fired upon and also in the dark on the human custom of 'warning shots,' responded in a manner similar to the aliens in the movie "Battleship." God that movie was awful. Seriously, you have a military drill that comes upon some alien ship and the dumbass brother of Shithead McGee aka the main character, decides that is a good idea to fire warning shots at an alien vessel, whom the crew have no understandings of human customs, much less even the idea of warning shots. They were in a war, presumably long and bloody, given the fact that they were looking to take over Earth, and as such would be extremely wary of hostilities and the idiot just decides, "Hur Dur Ima fire mah not-lasers-but-shittier-cannons at some FUCKING ALIENS WHO ARE MUCH MORE TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED THAN MY SHITTY LITTLE SHIP THAT CANNOT EVEN ACHIEVE SPACEFLIGHT WITHOUT BEING LAUNCHED OUT OF A CANNON OR SOME OTHER SIMILAR SCENARIO. THESE ALIENS PROBABLY HAVE THE ABILITY TO SINK MY SHITTY-ASS SHIP LIKE A GROWN MAN SINKS A FIVE-YEAR OLD'S BATTLESHIP THAT'S IN A CORNER AND I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO OPENLY ENGAGE THEM BECAUSE THEY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF 'WARNING SHOTS' AND TOTALLY WON'T REACT IN A NEGATIVE FASHION IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM THAT WILL GET ME AND COUNTLESS OF MY MEN KILLED, WHO DID NOT SIGN FOR THIS SHIT. FIRE AWAY RETARDS! OH NO THEY DIDN'T TAKE IT AS A WARNING, BUT RATHER AS A SIGN OF HOSTILITIES. NOW THEY'RE FIRING IN RETURN AND NOW I'M DEAD." The End.
Terrible-movie rant aside, Asuka held down the trigger at the angel and poured out her bottled up emotions of frustration, anger, embarrassment and insecurity in the form of white-hot lead** at the angel. An ineffective endeavor, but a satisfying one nonetheless, because sometimes it can be relieving to release pent up stress through senseless and futile violence.
As the shells lay cooling against the earth, the angel responded.
Its wings folded up, and energy could be seen building up behind its wings, as if it were charging up for a beam attack. As it reached peak brightness, a terrible glow emanated from its body. Then, the angel unfurled its wings in a swift, fluid motion, revealing it's glowing core. The angel swung its wings forward and sent from it a terrible beam of light from the core and enveloped the Eva. Asuka's frustration shifted on the emotional spectrum from anger to uncertainty, as the angel made its move.
Those within the bridge of the GeoFront could only helplessly watch as the angel attacked Asuka. Tensions were mounting, not yet boiling because from their viewpoint, the angel appeared to be doing the equivalent of shining a flashlight on Unit-2.
Her vitals showed an increase in mental activity, assumed to be a response to the light.
Then, the screaming started.
Her brainwaves spiked with activity, accompanied by screams of raw terror and pain.
The bridge was instantly abuzz with activity, much like ants scurrying about in panic when a child decides to point a hose at the anthill, with various bridge techs shouting out bits of technical terms as general pandemonium enveloped the bridge.
Surprisingly, the loudest of them all was Shinji who had gotten to a mic and was trying to talk to Asuka, who responded with nothing but screams.
"Asuka! Asuka!" He cried, in futile vain.
"Stop! Get out of my head!"
As the angel's unholy light shone upon Asuka, her mental insides were aflame with turmoil. The inner seas of her mind were in the metaphorical equivalent of a hurricane, only there was no eye of the storm to provide temporary respite. Unending waves of terrible memories bashed upon her already unstable mental psyche.
A hospital room. The sounds of her father committing adultery in the next room. A doll, whispered words, each as painful as a noose tightening around her neck.
"Mama! Don't leave me!"
Misato was probably a close second to Shinji in terms of volume.
"Rei! Help Asuka!"
"Negative," commanded Gendo, "the angel is still out of range and she is needed to defend the GeoFront."
"But Sir!"
"We cannot risk our last operational pilot."
"Agh!" She cried in frustration, "someone get me Saitama now!"
"Look at me! I'm right here!"
Thankfully, he had taken his phone with him when to cleanse his bowels of the unholy presence of diarrhea.
"Hello?"
"Saitama! Get over here now!"
"What's going on?"
Just then, Asuka screamed again, loud enough to be heard in the background noise.
"Help me! Someone! Anyone!"
"I'm on my way."
Gone was the simple and nonchalant side of Saitama. The strongest hero was out for justice.
His intestinal problems scurried away like a rat who knows it is about to be exploded by a nuclear bomb, vaporizing every trace of it from the face of existence then pieced together from what pitiful atoms remained and forced to suffer the same ordeal over and over until the very basic foundations of its being splintered away into nothingness.
One minute later he was fully dressed in his heroic attire and at the door.
Ten seconds later he was midair and rapidly approaching the GeoFront.
One second later the calvary had arrived. Seeing Unit-2 and the angel that was assaulting it, Saitama spared no time leaping at the angel. With the air whistling from his speed and the world blurring around him, his fist cocked back, ready to deliver instantaneous death, Saitama flew at the angel.
One heartbeat later, he let fly his fist, with perhaps a little less restraint than necessary*** and shattered the AT field like brittle glass cracks and breaks, sending shards flying in every direction, in the face of a rock, and let the rest of his punch completely vaporize the angels core and surrounding body.
As he landed, the angel behind him exploded into a squall of gore, smoking chunks of angel falling from the sky and landing everywhere.
Connection severed, the storm in Asuka's mind sputtered and faded away, but the damage had been done. The Eva fell backwards, crushing trees underneath it and shaking the earth as Asuka lost control and lay in her cockpit, sobbing uncontrollably.
Under normal circumstances, this is when the foe lies face first on the ground, gaping hole in their abdomen and Saitama stands around with a simple, dense look on his face. Saitama, however, knew that this was a different occasion. Even if he was not personally familiar with Asuka's past, her cries told of excessive trauma during childhood. Yeah I know it's a weak excuse, but we need the tension, dammit!
The worst was yet to come and the current situation was only a temporary reprieve, and eye in the storm.
*Shinji, however, was told that his Eva-unit was currently undergoing modifications, and as such, would be unavailable for piloting. Mostly because Gendo was performing 'experiments' in the cockpit of his Eva-unit, If you understand the context of which I am referring to in this scenario.
**It probably wasn't lead that made up the composition of the positron rifle rounds, but rather something sciency like magnesium-infused depleted uranium, but neither of the Eva-wikis actually specify the round type, so apologies to the gun-lovers among the readers.
***Most people tend to try and exert more force when punching. Saitama, however, was so strong that he had to constantly restrain himself whenever he punched.
A/N: Originally, I was planning on something silly, like Arael tries to mindrape Saitama and can only show him a scene of missing some kind of sale and exploding from the sheer stupidity of it. Then I realized that it ain't Angstvangelion without any Asuka-angst and went with this. Expect the next chapter sometime next year.