-m-
She was mad at him. It was stupid for her to be holding a grudge for so long over a joke but she had refused to say more than necessary, and she always had more to say. They had stopped to eat breakfast and even though all of their gear was half his, Merle felt awkward about going through it. It was a new feeling, this hesitance, but what was even newer was how she was dealing with their falling out. Merles entire life he had been left behind, it wasn't a sob story, it was the truth. He had been surrounded by selfish people and he had given them everything until there was nothing left for him to give.
Eden was so different than them, she wasn't perfect but she was selfless in ways that made him uncomfortable to think about. When they had first met he was sure there was an ulterior motive to her kindness but so far the only thing he has seen was genuine care. It was dangerous for him and for her. The longer he spent around her the more he was coming to care for her. He just hoped her kindness didn't get them hurt, he hoped he didn't hurt her.
He had been sure that she was going to let him starve, leave him to feeling awkward until that awkwardness turned to anger but instead she handed him some of the leftovers she had stashed in the back window to warm. He had expected her to stop doing small stuff like that but it seemed even when she was angry at him she was still trying.
"You're welcome." She said even though he didn't say thank you.
"Thank you. Are you going to yell at me so that you can get over this whole thing." He waved his arm in her direction, the blue bandana he had taken to wearing over it seemed cleaner than the skin of his arm.
"That's one hell of a way to apologise." She had stopped eating. There was a new look in her eyes, one that triggered something old inside of him. "Is this…" Tears formed in the corners of those green eyes and it made Merle feel like an ass. Eden had been many things with him, he had said some pretty fucked up things to her, but this time he had really hurt her.
"I didn't mean to make you cry." His mouth was dry and he didn't have a clue what to do. She looked so small sitting across from him, lip between her teeth, fists clenched in her lap. The woman in front of him was never small, everything about her was big and bright.
"I'm not crying." She sniffed hard once and looked him in the eye, those green eyes so clear that he almost forgot what they were saying. "I'm still fucking scared." She said, voice stronger now. "I'm not good at talking about things but I need to know, please don't lie to me, ", her breathing was shaky and Merle couldn't think of anything that would give her such a reaction. What did he do to scare her so bad? Why was he feeling like complete shit about it?
"..is everyone in your group...are you all racist?" The words came out in a rush, like she was afraid of saying them. There was a vulnerability to her at that moment that showed him just what an impact all of his words actually had on her. For the first time since the day his father beat the kindness out of him, Merle apologised.
"I'm sorry for what I said." He wanted to take the words back immediately, he hated the feeling of them being thrown back in his face. Eden looked at him for a moment and back at her hands. Her head nodding slightly but still not saying anything. The usual anger wasn't so overpowering as before, instead of wanting to lash out Merle found himself wanting to comfort her. He wanted to tell her it was the drugs. It was his past. It was the withdrawls. Even though all those were true, it felt more like excuses. "No, they're good people."
-e-
The drive to the quarry didn't take long. After Merle had apologised and had reassured her that his group was safe and that the only problem she would have would would be with a man named Ed. He told her more about his brother; about how shy he had been around women. Little stories about their childhood. He was surprised when she told him how they hadn't been raised that differently.
Merle had a single father. Eden had a single mother. They each had a little brother they thought the world of. They grew up in trailers and apartments. Both went to really shitty high schools and even liked the same type of music. Though the age gap was very present when he would talk about certain things, it was kinda nice having a conversation with him. Eden found that in moments like this, where they were both relaxed and full of hope, she didn't really mind having Merle around. The man was more animated now, it was almost like seeing someone come to life.
Eden pulled her camera out of her bag, it wasn't something she would have thought she would need during the end of the world but it brought her comfort. She always thought that when someone died you would always remember them but it wasn't true. It only took Eden a few days to start to forget some of the smaller details about Aarons' face; and it was slowly breaking her. Then, alone and mourning, she had started forgetting how it felt to be in the real world. What it was like being safe.
One day when she was scavenging she had found the camera tucked away, brand new in its box. This was one good thing about the whole situation, now she could have all the things she could never afford. She had begun to take pictures of the world around her, trying to find some kind of ground to stand on. At first she took pictures of everything, wanting to capture the last bits of civilization but then she began to find beauty in the world around her.
She flipped through the pictures until she found the one she had taken of Merle not to long after he had woken up. His eyes were bruised and bloodshot, his lips cracked and red, his shoulders hunched. Those eyes were filled with so much anger that at times Eden had wondered if it had been worth it.
Quickly she raised her camera and took a new picture of this Merle. The Merle with the blue eyes and large smile. The one who was trying to get better. The Merle who she felt like she could trust. If this all went wrong, if they got seperated and she couldn't find him, at least she wouldn't forget his face.
Merles arm swung wide as he spoke, nearly knocking the camera out of her hands. The man gave her a quick apology and went to pick it up. There was a moment of pause where he realised he couldn't pick the camera up.
"I'll add that to the list of things I didn't know I would miss doing."
"I bet wiping your ass is super awkward." Eden joked, thankful when the man gave out a deep laugh.
"Give me that." She interrupted him, grabbing his right arm and pulling the blue covered tip towards her. Merle stopped laughing and everything about him was stiff. It was eerily quiet compared to the loud chatter before but Eden was determined. She had told the man at least everyday for a week it seemed, that he needed to keep the skin moisturised and he still seemed bound a determined to have nothing to do with it.
"I've seen it before, Merle." Eden said softly to the man as he tried to jerk away. Eden took the small bottle of lotion out of her worn brown backpack and turned side faced in her seat. His skin was warm and real under her fingertips. Even after all the abuse it went through recently, his muscle was frim; and Eden found herself massaging the hard knots that had formed. The skin around the amputation was healing well, which gave her a bit of pride. Merle began relaxing the longer she touched him.
"Billie Holiday still wins." Eden said, urging Merle into another rant. His voice was lower now, huskier if possible. Eden tried to hide her attraction to this new side of Merle. When they were coming up on the entrance to the quarry Eden put the bandana back around his arm. Merle gave her a quick thank you, their eyes staying connected for just a moment longer than needed. Edens breathing sped up that moment and she had to look back out the window to collect herself. She didn't need to think about his blue eyes or the feel of his skin. Eden was sure that once she was around more people, these feelings she was getting for the asshole of a man would disappear.
That was until they reached the quarry. The red mustang at the entrance was apparently new and had Merle on edge. The warm feeling that was slowly fading, vanished completely when they stopped the car and the camp was empty. There were no cars and the fire pits were cold. The RV he had told her about was missing and there was no brother there to welcome him with open arms.
Even Eden could feel the devastation coming off him. They walked around the deserted camp, empty cans and old burned bones. Merle was enraged, Eden didn't blame him. One moment everything was quiet and the next he was screaming. Yelling obscenities at everything around them. Eden let him have it out, killing the few walkers that wandered into their area until the mans screams died down.
"Morgan. Head for the CDC. Not safe here." Eden came up behind him as he read the letter attached to the red mustang. It didn't go unnoticed to her how they had left a letter for this Morgan and not one for Merle. She went to put her hand on his shoulder, to lend him her comfort but he harshly shook it off. What do you say to someone in this moment?
"I bet you they left without Daryl as well. The assholes." She wanted to separate his brother from the group, hoping that Daryl had left to find his brother. Merle stopped pacing and seemed to give it a thought.
"Sounds right." His voice seemed pained, almost hesitant. He didn't believe her for one second and Eden couldn't help but feel heartbroken for him. When he turned around and made his way to the car it wasn't devastation on his face that Eden saw, it was fury. His neck and face were red as he got in the car and slammed the door. "Are you fucking coming or am I going to have to leave your ass here?"
And just like that they were back to yelling at each other. Except this time Eden didn't fight back, this time she took a knee and got in the car.
He was driving so fast that Edens stomach began turning, the car speeding down the winding roads of the quarry and then skidding into the open road. Edens body gave a violent jerk into the door. She could only imagine the things going through the mans mind as they practically flew. Eden had to resist the urge to look at the speedometer, knowing full well when she saw the number she was going to be sick.
"Can we please slow down?" She asked trying to keep her voice even as the nausea built inside of her. "Merle." The man seemed intent on ignoring her but she did feel a slight shift in their speed. Unfortunately, it was in the opposite direction than she had asked for. "I'm not the one you're angry at Merle." She tried to reason.
"I'm not angry! I'm just trying to catch up."
"That's the reason you're yelling at me? Cause you're not angry?"
"If you weren't being an insufferable bitch right now, I wouldn't have the need to yell at you."
They were arguing back and forth, neither of them watching the road. Neither of them seen the sharp turn ahead. Eden saw the yellow hazard signs a moment before Merle did, the turn right in front of them. Merle tried to avoid it but the over correction only caused the car to tip over and jump over the safety rail.
The first crash Eden had ever been into was at the start of all this, while she was desperately trying to make it home. That hadn't been as bad as this one. Everything seemed to slow down for just a second. All their gear flying wildly around them, then the first bounce came and smashed the roof of the car in right above her head. The second slammed Edens head into the door and she was unconscious before the third.
When Eden came to she felt like she was spinning. The world seemed too bright and her head hurt. It was a blinding pain that she had to blink away but what she saw was worse. Merle was knocked out beside her and a breath away from his face were the peeled hands of a dead man. Merles window had been down just enough for the fat man to get his hands inside; the skin passed his forearms had been peeled off from the force he was using to get in. He wasn't the only one trying. They were everywhere, beating their hands bloody against the windows. Eden had no idea where they were and for a moment couldn't remember how she had gotten there.
Then the fat mans hands slipped just a little.
Eden fought the nausea as she moved out of her seat, dunking under the dented roof and pulled Merle away from the hands. The man slumped heavily to the side and Eden hoped he hadn't broken his neck during the wreak.
"Merle, I need you to wake up." Eden yelled, slapping the man's cheeks. "Please Merle!" Eden was starting to get panicked. She never had to deal with so many dead at once, and she could hear the windows start to crack under their pressure. The pain in Edens head increased and for a moment she thought she might pass out.
Thinking quick Eden grabbed her crowbar and adjusted Merles seat backwards. Taking a deep breath Eden started swinging at the mans arms until they broke. There was blood everywhere and the smell was so thick and hot inside the car that she thought she might suffocate. Eden had to half sit on Merle for her plan to work, thankful to be farther away from the cracking window on her side of the car. Eden pressed her hand to the bleeding wound on her head and then smeared her blood along the crack in the window. The smell of her blood drove them mad. As soon as the dead man put his mouth against the crack Eden shoved her crowbar through his head. Eden repeated the action three more times before the window on her side of the car broke.
It was like a blur. Stab, pull. Stab, pull. Over and over again until a pile of bodies clogged her window enough for her to take a breath. Eden didn't think they would have survived if the roof of the car wasn't so dented in. The heat was suffocating, the smell was nauseating, and Eden was close to having a complete breakdown. She was shaking so hard she almost dropped the crowbar on Merles head but the walkers were pressing into Merles window and if she didn't do something soon. They would both die.
-m-
"..you!"
Merle was awake with a jerk to Eden straddling his lap screaming at the window. For a moment Merle thought this was some weird wet dream, she was completely soaked in blood, her shirt clinging to her. The way she was moving in his lap felt real too but it wasn't until she pulled an eye back through the window and it landed on his chest that he knew it was.
"What the fuck!" The yelled picking the organ up and throwing it to his right, only to see a pile of bodies half hanging from the window and half squashed under the roof..
"This is all your fucking fault, Merle!" It came back to him then, the speeding, the curve. "They just keep fucking coming!" It had gone from an erotic dream to a nightmare in a matter of seconds.
Her arms were shaking violently as she plunged the crowbar through the crack in the window and killed another geek. Merle sat his chair up and looked at the carnage around them, their car was completely destroyed, there were two geeks to their left and about five more on the back right. Merle shifted the woman in his lap in the small space they had to them. Her neck was right beside his face and he could make out the light dusting of freckles right under her ear.
"Do you have a plan?"
"It's not a great one." She said as she pressed her fingers against a wound he hadn't seen. Merle quickly pulled her hand away from her face and tilted her head. She had hit it harder than he had, the skin breaking and Merle wouldn't be surprised if the woman didn't crack her skull a little.
"Jesus woman."
"You can call me names later, yell at me, whatever." He could feel her heartbeat through every part of them that was connected, pounding away. "I'm going to kill these two and then…"Her eyes darted between him and the geeks pounding behind them.
"No more of this." Merle said tilting her chin up again before she slapped his hand away. The next geek pressed his mouth to the open window and Eden slammed the crowbar all the way through his head. "When you get the last guy, clog the window up." Her green eyes caught his for a moment before she seemed to decide to trust him.
Eden struck her fingers outside of the window to attract the blonde geek. When the dead woman came for her snack Eden put her down. Then she stripped off the flannel shirt she was wearing and stuffed it in the whole.
"It's not big enough, I need something else." Merle gave a look at the thin tank top she was wearing and gave her a cheeky smile. "You're such a man. Give me yours." Merle took off his grimmy wife beater and smiled at the way her eyes lingered on him. "No fucking way." She sigh, an edge of hysteria in her voice. Even with both of their shirts there was a piece of the window open.
"Come on Dorothy, I showed you mine." He should be taking this seriously, he was taking this seriously but he couldn't give up the chance to poke at her. He was getting to know Eden well and knew she would take his jib as insult enough to go through with it.
"You better have another step to this plan of yours, Merle Dixon."
"We need to cover the windows, so they can't see us and we wait them out." Eden looked skeptical, like she wanted to argue, instead she nodded her head as she took a breath and pulled at the rotten skin of the dead geek beside him. Merle gagged at the slime that came out with it.
"You get this window i'll get the backs." Merle grabbed the skin and began rubbing the blood thick on the window. It was disgusting and by the time they were done they were both covered in sweat.
"Now we wait."