A/N: Before I go any further with this story, I need to establish some things. Firstly, this is five years after the end of Sins of the Mother. Since a lot has happened in those five years, I'll be doing flashbacks.
Secondly this story is going to be very very dark. I'm only giving one warning about this. There will be domestic abuse, torture, references to sexual assault and rape at the very least (I've not decided yet how explicit I'm going to be). I will warn at the beginning of chapters when certain topics are going to come up but I have warned you so, please, no angry messages complaining that it's too dark.
The hall was beautifully decorated, gold and ivory adorned every surface. Tables lined the floor, surrounding an empty dance floor and raised platform, a podium placed in the centre. A string quartet was off to one side, playing softly, and the sound of music mingled with the sounds of laughter, conversation and the gentle clink of glasses.
I pushed the meat on my plate around with my fork. It was rare and each prod sent blood oozing across my plate. I grimaced, set down the cutlery and reached for my wineglass. A hand reached out and gently grasped mine, preventing me from lifting it.
"I think you've had enough, love." His voice was soft, only audible to me. I looked over and supressed my scowl. "You wouldn't want to get intoxicated… not yet anyway."
I pulled my hand free and turned to my other side, where Blair sat. She smiled sweetly. Her hair was curled and she wore a beautiful dress of deep blue that matched my own. I smiled back and gently touched her cheek. Her smile brightened before turning her attention back to her food. I put my own fork down and leant back in my chair.
Up on the stage, a blonde woman approached the podium and cleared her throat. The noise in the hall died down as everyone turned their attention to her.
"Is everyone having a good evening?" she asked. There was a general noise of affirmation. "It is time for us to welcome our esteemed benefactor to the stage. Please, put your hands together for Mr Lucien Castle."
There was a roar of applause. From my side, Lucien rose and headed up to the stage. I sighed and clapped dutifully as he took the podium.
"It's a pleasure to see you all here tonight, supporting such a great cause as this. It's certainly one that is close to my heart and to see so many faces here ready to pledge, fills me with joy. With your help we can change lives." He laughed softly. "Of course, some of you may be sceptical. After all, words are cheap and it's easy to spew platitudes in the hope of separating you from just a small amount of your money to aid our cause. However I speak to you from the heart. I once had nothing. That may be hard to believe as I stand before you today. But it's true. Since that time I have created my business and grown it to the level it is today. I met and married my beautiful wife, Elena." He gestured to me. A few people turned and smiled in my direction. I forced myself to smile back, quietly wishing I could sink in my chair. "Many of you have already met her as well as our lovely daughter. I am fortunate enough to have my family to help me. Many are not so lucky. And so, I hope that you will all give generously tonight. Together we can turn some lives around. Thank you."
He left the stage to thunderous applause and returned to the seat next to mine. I kept my smile fixed in place as he kissed my cheek.
The music resumed and people headed to the dance floor as they finished their dinner. The blonde woman who'd introduced Lucien came over and sat near me. She smiled brightly.
"This is going wonderfully Lucien."
"I have you to thank for it Elise," he said. "You do know how to throw a fantastic party." She flushed lightly, clearly flattered, before turning to me. "I don't believe we've been formally introduced. Elise Peters." She offered her hand. I shook it.
"Elena. Elena Castle."
"The famous wife. I've been looking forward to meeting you. Your husband speaks very highly of you."
"Well she is a special girl." Lucien chimed in, smirking over the rim of his drink.
"How did you two meet? That's the one story he's not told me."
"We met in New Orleans." I said, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. "He knocked me over"
"That was an accident," he teased. "I was distracted. Can you blame me?"
"Yes. I got bruises." Lucien laughed. The blonde woman, Elise, smiled, clearly charmed by our banter.
"So you left the US to come here?" she asked.
"It took some convincing," Lucien admitted. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Well you were asking me to leave my home, my family and everything I knew for… what?" I couldn't keep the words in, though I knew that I would regret them later.
"For me, love. For me." He touched my hand. Under the table, his other hand rested on my thigh, gripping just a little too tightly to be considered affectionate. I could feel my skin bruising at the touch. I forced a loving smile and looked at him.
"And it has been such an adventure Lucien." He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. His hand retracted from my thigh and I breathed a sigh of relief. I hoped that my attempt at doting would be enough to dissuade him from anything he might have on that nasty little mind of his.
"You two are so perfect together," Elise gushed. Lucien got to his feet.
"All this talk when we could be dancing! Elise, will you save me one?"
"If you want, you can have my first dance Lucien," she said with a flirtatious smile. I grimaced. I was sitting right in front of her.
"As tempting as that offer is, my first dance is reserved for this lovely young lady here." He turned to Blair. "Blair, sweetheart. Come and dance with me?"
She smiled happily and got up, taking his hand as he ushered her onto the dance floor. I watched them until the image became too painful and I turned away. Elise looked over at me.
"She's adorable, Elena. She clearly takes after you."
"Actually, she takes after her father," I said softly. Elise frowned.
"I can't say I see the resemblance."
"Lucien isn't her father. He's still in the US. Lucien… adopted her." Her frown immediately smoothed out and transformed into a look of adoration. I wanted to vomit. I could hear Elise babbling on about how amazing he was and so kind, so considerate. I looked over at Lucien. He was watching me. I picked up my wineglass, lifted it slightly in a silent toast before draining it. I thought I saw something cross his face but I ignored it. I put the glass down on the table.
"Excuse me Elise." I got up and left the table, heading out of the hall towards the bathroom. I counted down under my breath with each step that I took. My hand reached for the door handle and, right on cue, Lucien's hand grasped my wrist. I kept my head down.
"I am just going to the bathroom, Lucien."
"You promised you'd behave yourself tonight love." He ran his fingers along the inside of my wrist, tracing the veins.
"And I have." He brought his other hand to my chin and lifted it so that my eyes were forced to meet his.
"Barely. Now normally I adore you misbehaviour. It is incredibly amusing and really rather endearing to watch. And I had planned to be kind to you tonight. But if you continue with your pathetic attempts to defy me… your evening will get significantly worse."
"I am… just trying to go to the bathroom, Lucien, please take your hands off of me, you are making a scene."
He slowly released my wrist and the hand on my chin moved to gently caress my cheek. He pulled my mouth to his and kissed me hard. I resisted, standing passively, knowing that eventually it would run its course and he would stop. His kiss grew more insistent and I tried to pull away, trapped by his iron grip. I did the only thing I could. I bit him, hard.
He jerked back, a bead of blood forming on his lip. He reached up and gently wiped it away.
"You are so lucky that I like you fiery Elena…" His lip curled into a smirk. "If I were you, I'd save that bite for later tonight."
He brushed past me, returning to the frivolity in the hall. I let myself into the bathroom and went to the mirror. The urge to vomit was even greater now. I locked eyes with myself and took slow steady breathes, forcing the sensation down. A little bit longer. I had done it before, I could do it again.
Elena Gilbert. Daughter of Miranda and Grayson Gilbert. Sister of Jeremy Gilbert. Of Rebekah Mikaelson. Of Freya Mikaelson. Of… no, leave it, move on. Niece of Jenna Sommers. Born in Mystic Falls. Queen of New Orleans.
I repeated the phrases in my head, looking at myself in the mirror. These were the facts. I used them to ground myself, locking me in reality.
I waited until I had myself under control. I took one final cleansing breath and fixed a serene smile on my face. I left the bathroom and returned to the hall, taking my seat once more at the table. Blair was running around, getting under everyone's feet. Lucien was dancing with Elise. I ran my fingers over the silverware, considering slipping a knife into my purse and stabbing Lucien while he slept.
Blair ran over to me and clambered into my lap. I stroked her hair gently.
"You alright sweetheart?"
"I'm sleepy mama."
"I know, so am I." I was nearly always tired these days, although a mixture of make-up and vampire blood kept me looking fresh faced. Lucien couldn't allow his wife to have bags under her eyes of course.
"Can we go home soon?" she asked, nestling herself into the crook of my arm. I played with her hair and kissed her forehead.
"Soon. I promise." I looked over to Lucien, hoping to catch his eye so that he might allow us to leave. Luck was on my side for once. He showed no sign of noticing us but within a minute he had released his dance partner and came over.
"Everything alright Elena?"
"Blair is a little sleepy." I had to phrase the next part carefully. I knew he hated when I told him what to do. "Would we be able to take her home soon?"
"Of course love. I just need to say goodbye to a few people and then we'll head home." He kissed my cheek. "Why don't you head out to the car?"
I nodded and carried Blair out through the hall to the front entrance. One of Lucien's security team was immediately at my side. I grimaced but let him escort me to the car. He got the door opened and I slid inside, tucking Blair into the corner.
"Did you have a good time princess?"
"Yes mama!" I smiled slightly and cuddled her close, enjoying this moment of undisturbed closeness. She closed her eyes and yawned, snuggling closer to me.
The car door opened and Lucien climbed inside. I stayed silent, keeping my eyes on the floor. Lucien ignored us, fiddling with his phone. Our driver got in and we began to wind our way along the roads back to the apartment. I kept my eyes on Blair, on the window, on the floor, anywhere but Lucien.
We reached the apartment and went inside. Once Lucien had dismissed his guards for the evening and closed the door, I felt as though all the oxygen had been sucked from the room.
"I'm going to put Blair to bed," I said, slipping out of the room quickly before he could object. I went to her room and changed her into her pyjamas before tucking her into bed. She was already half asleep, but I picked up a book and began to read to her, taking my time in an attempt to stall the inevitable.
As she dozed off, I felt eyes on the back of my neck and the light from the hallway was blocked. I tried to ignore him, focusing on the book. I heard the faint sound of the footsteps on carpet, usually undetectable but that I'd grown accustomed to listening for. He kissed my shoulder softly.
"She's asleep… come to bed Elena…"
"Please Lucien… not tonight?" He played with my hair, skimming his fingers along the curve of my neck.
"Come to bed."
I knew he wouldn't leave me alone and the longer I held out, the worse it would get. I got up and put the book down. I let him lead me out of the bedroom, down to the hall to the room that I shared with him. I supressed a shudder at the sight of the bed. Lucien slipped off his tuxedo jacket and slung it over a chair. I went over to the dressing table and took off my jewellery. My eyes went to the rings on my finger and I felt a wave of nausea rise up inside of me. I tracked Lucien's movements in the mirror. He undressed and came over. He ran a hand down the exposed part of my back to the zip at the top of the dress. He unzipped it slowly, his actions deceivingly tender. I let him push the dress down, exposing me. He turned me sharply in his arms and gently brushed my cheek with the back of his hand.
"Did you have fun tonight, Elena?"
"It was fine…" I said, trying to avoid his gaze.
"Come now, we were doing good work. Raising money, you've got to be proud of that."
"Yeah… what charity was it for? Do you even know?"
"Of course. I am very passionate about… okay you got me. I have no idea what that one was for." He chuckled and pulled back. For a minute I hoped that maybe I'd managed to lighten the situation enough to avoid whatever he had planned. "You looked beautiful tonight. If it weren't for that mouth, I'd say I was proud to have you as my wife." He eyed me and I felt naked underneath his gaze. "I believe I owe you for earlier." His eyes darkened, his fangs sliding out.
I backed away automatically. I'd long ago learned that once Lucien decided to use me as entertainment, that there was really nothing I could do to stop it. He was stronger and faster than me, he had control over me and if I tried to fight back, it only made him more determined, more excited. He advanced on me, reaching out and grabbing hold of my waist, pulling my body flush against his. His fangs sank into my throat and I let out a pained gasp as he fed. I closed my eyes, fighting tears. I tried, I really did, to keep myself numb to him. No tears, no screams. Not ones that he could see.
He released my throat, my blood dripping down his chin, and threw me onto the bed. I buried my face in the pillow, dug my fingers into the mattress and closed my eyes.
I pretended I didn't feel anything. I pretended that it didn't matter. I pretended I was somewhere else, anywhere else but this bed, with this man.
When he had finished, he wrapped his arms around me and closed his eyes. I knew that although my physical torment had finished, my mental torment was far from over. By day I was at his mercy and by night I was at the mercy of my own thoughts, my memories. As I lay there, fighting sleep, twisting the wedding ring around my finger, I despised myself for letting things get this way. I knew it wasn't my fault, really I'd had no choice… but I always felt like I could have done… something. Something to change this, to stop it. Even if, deep down, I knew that really there was nothing.
We came back in from the Christmas market. I took the girls coats and hung them up. Lucien had been in a relatively good mood and I was eager to get them to bed before that mood had a chance to change.
"Elena." His hands rested on my waist and I jumped, startled by how close he had gotten.
"Y…yes L…Lucien?" I couldn't keep the stammer out of my voice, no matter how hard I tried.
"I have an early Christmas present for you."
"umm… that's great. Can I put the girls to bed first?"
"No, let them stay up. It's Christmas after all." He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me out to the balcony. The girls followed, laughing happily. He looked out at the city and smiled to himself. "It is beautiful here, isn't it?"
"Yes…"
"We've had some… good times, haven't we Elena?" I stayed silent. "I know you think I'm some despicable monster, but that's not true. Really, I only want thing… a family… like yours."
"I… I find that hard to believe…Lucien."
"Let me prove it to you." He turned and took my hands. "Marry me Elena?"
"I… No… Lucien… no…" I saw his eyes darken and I felt a sense of dread settle in the pit of my stomach. He released my hands and turned away from me.
"Lilah? Sweetheart, come over here for a minute." She came over, slowly, a little fearful of what might ensue. It broke my heart seeing her afraid. I tried to shield her from him, I really did. He knelt down and smiled at Lilah, holding out a hand to her. She took it shyly. He picked her up in his arms and looked over at me.
"Please Lucien… she's just a child…"
"I know that Elena." He smiled. He moved sharply, swinging Lilah around so that he was holding her over the balcony, dangling her by her arms. She screamed in fear. "She's your child. And of course, you are well within your rights to reject my proposal. But I really think you should reconsider… I think it might be detrimental to little Lilah's health for you to reject me again."
I stared at him in shock and horror. Was this real? It felt like something out of a horrific nightmare. How could he do this? Surely he wasn't that evil… he couldn't be. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could get a word out, he released one of Lilah's arms.
"Whoops, you better answer fast Elena. I think I'm starting to lose my grip over here." I felt tears in my eyes. There was only one answer though really, wasn't there? Just like when he'd made me leave the Mikaelsons. My life or my children. My children would always come first.
"I… Yes…. Yes, I will marry you. Just… please don't hurt her!"