all i did was what i had to

Philadelphia was cloudy and dreary when Beth, Dale, and Irma woke up. The sky was threatening rain and there was a chill in the air as the temperature reached the low sixties, but the higher that the sun got in the sky – despite the clouds – the higher the humidity got, evening out the temperature so that it was suitable for a light jacket. Georgia was definitely warmer this time of year, but they'd travelled fairly far north by this point, so the southern heat was a problem of the past.

Beth woke up before the old couple, surprisingly. She had been sleeping restlessly all night, but it wasn't because of sleeping on the floor or being uncomfortable. She just kept having disturbing dreams. If it wasn't her mother looking at her like she was the bane of her existence, it was Shawn standing in the distance, just out of Beth's reach. Or it was Hershel, crying on a cot in an unfamiliar room, his face buried in his hands. Or it was Maggie with dark, heavy bags beneath her eyes and greasy hair, carving a shiv out of a toothbrush in her bright orange jumpsuit. Or it was a split-second of Glenn, his normally bright demeanor weighted down and shaved away by the cruelty of strangers.

But mostly, it was that cop. He looked drained of his blood, pale and lifeless, unmoving but unforgiving. His dead eyes stared back at her, and she kept moving to look away, to run away, but instead of escaping him, she'd feel her body suddenly jerk and she would wake up. Each time, she'd pull the pocket watch from beneath her pillow and check the time in the dim light. She was waking up nearly every thirty minutes.

The last time she fell asleep, she managed to stay asleep for a solid hour or two. The dreams didn't really stop, but they weren't quite as haunting. Thankfully, they slipped from her memory completely within minutes of waking up. It was finally past daybreak, and she figured she may as well get up before Dale and Irma needed to walk through her bed.

Her hand itched to write. More than anything, she wanted to pour all her thoughts and fears down onto paper right now. But she couldn't. Unless she were going to burn it right after. But what a waste of ink and paper that would be.

She tried to move around as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb Dale and Irma. Their bedroom was completely silent and dark, so she knew they were still asleep. She longed for the kind of exhaustion they had felt to put them into such a deep sleep. Beth had been that exhausted the first night they'd picked her up, but those fourteen hours were the most restful she'd had in ages, and probably would have ever again.

I've heard prison beds aren't comfortable, and your cellmates are usually loud and disturbing, she immediately thought. So I'd better just be grateful.

She folded up all the blankets neatly and piled them together with the pillows in the booth, then slipped into the bathroom to quickly shower and brush her teeth. She finished drying and brushing her hair and getting dressed before Dale and Irma even started to rouse. When they finally emerged from behind the curtain of their bedroom, Beth was preparing to pour three cups of coffee.

"Well, good morning to you," Dale said happily, his eyes lighting up when he spotted the coffee.

"Good morning," Beth greeted them both, smiling despite her lack of will to smile.

"How sweet of you! Thank you, Rosie," Irma greeted, eyes just as bright as her husband's.

They took their full, steaming mugs gratefully and sat down on the same side of the booth, sipping carefully. They were still wearing their pajamas and robes, and they both had bedhead – well, what possible bedhead Dale had left anyway. Beth took her own mug and slipped in to the other side of the booth, squeezing in next to the pile of blankets and pillows. She didn't say anything, unsure of how much the pair liked to talk first thing in the morning.

They all sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping coffee and looking thoughtful and drowsy. Dale finished his mug first and went back to the pot to pour the last of it for himself.

"Want me to make some more?" he asked the ladies.

"Oh, please, hon, that'd be great," Irma replied, nearly finished with her own mug. "I'm gonna jump in the shower."

Beth nodded in acknowledgement and Dale grunted as he set about brewing another pot of coffee. Irma finished her coffee and left the mug on the table, disappearing inside the bathroom.

Beth realized she and Dale were alone for the first time since they'd met, but he didn't seem to really care. He was preoccupied with making coffee, and once he was finished with that, he picked up a book of crosswords that was resting on the table and opened it up, making himself comfortable in the booth as he put on his reading glasses and set about reading and scribbling in letters.

Beth continued sipping her coffee. Her hand was still itching to write, but it was also itching to check the news again. She'd held off since waking up, trying to put off the compulsion for as long as possible. But she figured now was as good of a time as any. It was already nearly 8 am, surely they'd be updating stories if they had new information.

She pulled the smartphone from the pocket of her jacket and began browsing the news sites. As always, she checked the national sources first. Thankfully, still no sign of her or her family. Just more Trump, and another story about how the environment is being destroyed and humanity is doomed. Next, she checked the two local sources. Still nothing new. In fact, they looked like they hadn't even been updated for the day.

She was just scrolling through the comments, once again, getting lost in other people's hatred, when Dale spoke up.

"Are you Facebook-ing? Or Twitter-ing? Or whatever it is," he asked curiously, eyes still focused on his crossword puzzles.

Beth looked up from the screen, a little startled by the sudden noise, and let out a little chuckle at his attempt to understand social media. "No, I'm not on any of that. Just reading the news."

He nodded, scribbling in more letters before he spoke, "Careful with that. That stuff'll depress the hell outta ya. Nothin' but tragedy and stupidity. They could convince you the whole world's gone to shit."

She raised her eyebrows, a little surprised at his sudden pessimism. Or was it pessimism towards pessimism? Somehow, he was still being optimistic.

"Yeah, I guess. But it's good to be informed," she said. She was still curious about how much he and Irma paid attention to the news, so maybe she could find out now by saying the right things without seeming suspicious – or guilty. If they checked it at all, they'd see her story in the Georgia news, and she'd have to escape before they decided to turn her in.

Dale shrugged, still studying his crossword carefully. "I find there are plenty of ways to stay informed without letting the mainstream media convince you what's important and what's not."

Beth was about to say something, but he quickly added, "And no, I don't mean those internet crackpots that some people my age actually listen to."

She smirked and watched a small smile form on his own lips as he continued, "You should see some of the crazies me and Irma live next to. Good lord, all they're missing is the tinfoil hats."

Beth chuckled and asked, "So what, you guys just don't watch the news? Or read the paper?"

He shrugged again and answered, "Nope. We just decided not to, just to see what it'd be like. So far, it's pretty nice. We figured, hell, we're drivin' around the whole country in a big circle, if anything real important happens, somebody'll let us know. The world's not gonna end while we're road tripping. And if it does, so be it. When it's my time, it's my time. I don't need a bunch of strangers getting paid to tell me how many different ways I'm dying, or reminding me how screwed the country is."

She nodded but didn't know what to say. At least he'd answered her question – now she knew why they hadn't heard of her story or recognized her. She was thanking God for letting her be so lucky as to have this particular couple come across her and offer help.

With perfect timing, Irma emerged from the bathroom, dressed and groomed for the day. She helped herself to the freshly brewed coffee, then walked over to Dale and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Your turn," she told him, and he grunted in acknowledgement, scribbling in one last word before returning the puzzle book to its spot on the table. He got up and walked back to the bathroom, disappearing inside like Irma had.

The old woman took a hearty drink from her fresh cup of coffee before setting about the kitchen to make breakfast. Before long, the whole RV smelled like fresh coffee, cooking bacon, and browning toast. Beth's stomach growled loudly.

Dale emerged from the bathroom, showered, shaved, and dressed, just in time for Irma to begin setting out plates on the table. Beth was still sitting in the booth, reading other news articles on her phone in an attempt to distract herself from her own. The couple worked in content silence together to finish cooking breakfast and serving it onto plates. They placed a plate stacked with cheesy eggs, bacon, hash browns, and a toasted English muffin in front of Beth before settling into the booth with their own full plates.

"Wow, thank you," Beth said, her mouth watering at the very sight of the huge breakfast. She immediately dug in, savoring every bite. She couldn't help but think of how much she would miss having home-cooked meals like this made for her - with love.

"Of course!" Irma said happily, she and her husband digging into their own plates with equal enthusiasm. "Are you coming with us today?"

Beth hadn't even thought about what she would be doing all day. A part of her wanted to stay and hide in the RV, just to be safe. But another, larger part wanted to get some fresh air, enjoy the cloudy weather in Pennsylvania, and maybe see some landmarks. She figured the landmarks in Philadelphia weren't nearly as high priority as in D.C., so maybe there wouldn't be quite as much surveillance. But if there was, she could always make excuses and duck out. She'd just have to keep her eye out for cameras and whatnot… just like she'd been constantly doing for the last forty-eight or so hours.

Anything had to be better than sitting in an empty RV all day, checking the same two news sites every three minutes and basically practicing for when she'd be sitting in her cell in maximum security prison.

She chewed her food slowly and thoughtfully, trying to look like she was finishing her bite before answering, when she was really just trying to think. She finally shrugged and said, "I guess, if you'd like me to tag along. I don't want to interrupt or anything."

Irma smiled, excitement showing in her face. "Of course not! We'd love to have you join us."

Beth nodded, almost hesitantly. She tried to assure herself that she could just make excuses and bail, if need be. There was always a way out. And she was always ready to go. On the bright side, she was already halfway to New York. She knew that things could always be worse, because she could still be stuck in Georgia with the whole state searching for her. The chances that any of the random people in Philadelphia would recognize her were slim, as long as she kept her head down.

Once they'd finished their breakfasts and the second pot of coffee, Dale and Irma washed the dishes and put them away while Beth sat at the booth and checked the news again. She found no new updates.

With the dishes clean and in their places, Dale laid out a map of all the landmarks in Philadelphia – very similar to the map he'd had for D.C. Beth figured he probably got a whole series of them for every city that he was planning on visiting. The thought reminded Beth that she needed to plan more for her destination approaching soon.

"So we're parked here, we're gonna take this street down to here and stop first at The Liberty Bell, then we can loop around and visit the Betsy Ross House, of course," he looked up at Irma for assurance when he said this, who smiled, pleased. He continued, "Then we'll just head down this way and see a couple sights before heading back up this way and visiting the zoo."

Beth raised her eyebrows. "The zoo?"

Dale nodded and Irma smiled, chirping, "Oh, yes!"

She cringed inwardly, but put on a smile for the old couple. She hadn't been to a zoo in years. Zoos were large and crowded and full of strangers of all different kinds. The last time she'd been was when she was 13 and her family had gone as a group. They were happy that day, and carefree. She remembered it fondly. But they hadn't had the time to visit any zoo since then, especially the last couple of years.

"Honey – do you need to borrow my makeup? To cover up that black eye? Or do you need help applying it?" Irma offered, noticing how worried Beth was looking at the idea of a large, crowded zoo. "Is that what you're worried about? I bet people stare at that darned thing all the time. Strangers can be so rude."

Beth shook her head, but then realized that she had no other real explanation for why she wouldn't want to go to a zoo with this nice couple. Or rather, Rosie didn't have any other real explanation.

"Um – yeah. Yeah, that would uh, make me feel a lot better," she lied, putting on her most innocent face. Irma seemed pleased with her response and rushed to the bedroom to retrieve her makeup.

Philadelphia was cloudy and dreary, but the rain that threatened to come wasn't making its appearance. There wasn't a lot of traffic because most of the city was busy working or in school. They visited the Liberty Bell and found only a small crowd and a short waiting time to get a good photo. The Betsy Ross House didn't have much of a line either, and Irma took her time marveling at all the antiques and reading all of the tiny descriptions and factoids. They stopped for lunch around noon inside a diner that was fashioned after the fifties. After that, it was on to more landmarks and tourist attractions for the next two or three hours before they decided to head to the zoo.

Beth double-checked herself at least three times as they found a spot to park. She kept everything ready to go anyway, but she felt paranoid about visiting somewhere she'd never been. The Beretta sat warm and comfortable under her layers of shirts and in its holster beneath her arm, her phone was fully charged and in her pocket, her backpack was stuffed as usual, and her sunglasses were resting atop her head. She'd tucked away her father's pocket watch amongst the wads of money, unwilling to take any chances of losing it or having it pickpocketed. She had already gathered together every small bill she had, as well as a couple of the hundred-dollar bills, and stuffed them into the pocket of her jeans. She didn't want to have to open or rifle through her bag at all while in public, if possible.

Dale and Irma locked up the RV and led the way to the entrance. For a second, Beth worried that there may be metal detectors. Somehow, she'd forgotten that possibility. But it wasn't like she'd leave the gun unattended in the RV either. As they approached the doors, she had decided that she'd fake an illness, if she had to, once they came within view of the zoo entrance. Or she'd just turn around and run. At least she knew she was fast.

But the lobby/gift shop came and went, and then they passed through the doors and the ticket takers… and they walked right into the zoo. There wasn't a single metal detector or beeping wand or handsy guard. Beth realized she'd been holding her breath and let it out in relief just as the bird enclosure was coming into view.

Irma's makeup skills had ended up being way better than Beth expected, and she'd disguised the black eye so well that it wasn't noticeable from more than three inches away. The cut on her lip had mostly healed, but Irma had dabbed a bit of cover-up over it, too, just for safe measure. Beth was happy to see herself in the mirror looking healthy again instead of portraying the definition of a fugitive on the run. And now, as she walked past groups of people of all ages, sizes, and colors, she noticed that none of them were taking a second glance at her. She decided to leave her sunglasses resting atop her head once they'd gotten inside and past the largest groups that were entering and exiting.

Slowly, her heartrate steadied and her breathing calmed, and she felt herself actually relaxing in a public place, surrounded by people she didn't know.

The trio – who probably appeared to be a pair of grandparents taking their granddaughter to the zoo for the day – strolled down the winding sidewalks and decorated paths, stopping at exhibits and following trails that took them through canopies of chirping trees. Irma took at least one photo of every new animal she saw, and of course, she asked Beth to take plenty of photos of her and Dale standing in front of the scenery. Beth made sure to avoid any camera she saw, especially Irma's, hoping to stay out of the corners and edges of zoo photos. Dale cracked jokes and inserted his own fun facts about each animal they marveled at, and Irma gazed at him with sparkling eyes every time. Beth even found herself laughing along with them, as if her life were relatively normal. And for a short time, it was.

They were standing in front of the tiger exhibit, marveling at the gorgeous, orange coats and the paws bigger than their heads. Dale was pointing out a male tiger in the corner to Irma, who leaned in closer to the glass to see. Beth stood a foot or two away from them, watching the tigers stroll and laze about. Her mind started kicking up old memories of zoo trips in Georgia with her family, an almost yearly occurrence from the time she was four until she was thirteen. The tigers had always been her favorite. Her momma had known to head straight to the big cat exhibit once they were finished with giraffes – Beth's other favorite animal at the zoo. Sometimes, the tiny blonde would sit on her daddy's shoulders and gaze out at the zoo from the eyes of a giant as they walked between the array of cages and pens and her momma pointed out koalas in the distance, and loose birds that would fly over their heads in a flash of color. Beth was too young, back then, to notice the scowl Maggie was usually giving her at times like this. It had taken the brunette years to grow out of her jealousy and resentment for Beth, who had been the new baby from a new mommy that she'd never wanted, and Beth could still remember some of the times when it had gotten the worst. She tried not to think of those, though, because Maggie had grown into an extremely protective and caring big sister, especially in the last couple of years since she'd met Glenn.

Plus, now she was paying for all of her sins… as well as Beth's.

The young blonde-turned-brunette had her eyes focused on a momma tiger towards the back, everything else around her seeming to disappear. She was so lost in her own memories and thoughts that she had nearly forgotten she was at a public zoo right now. The heavy, slow tiger was surrounded by its babies, who all looked fairly new. They pounced and played around her while she walked in slow circles, surveying the cubs carefully before picking a comfortable spot and plopping down. She stretched out her long, orange body and lay sprawled between the playing cubs. The look on her face was nothing less than contentment and happiness.

Beth couldn't help but think of her own mother. She missed her more and more every day since she had died, but now that she'd had to leave behind the farm and the rest of her family, the loss was sinking in deeper. Beth felt like she might be cut completely in half at any moment, the pain was so sharp. Tears welled up in her eyes without her even realizing it. She blinked and found her vision turning blurry, the tigers all becoming orange-and-black blobs. She reached up to wipe her eyes dry but remembered the makeup that Irma had spent so long carefully applying, so she moved to turn away from the exhibit and dab at her eyes, away from Dale and Irma so they wouldn't see her and ask what was wrong.

But just as she turned around, her arm – which ended up being outstretched more than she intended – bumped right into someone who was standing nearby. She immediately pulled all her extremities in close and straightened up her back to look into the face of the person she'd nudged.

"I'm so sorry – " she started, finding an average-height black man with long, gray dreadlocks that reached his waist. She had expected some dorky dad in a visor and New Balances, but this man smiled nonetheless and nodded, assuring her it was okay.

He put up a hand, as if to cease her worrying altogether. "No worries. I was standing a little too close. Sorry, I get a little caught up while I'm watching my best friend."

Beth furrowed her brow and knew that he was baiting her into asking about what he meant, but she couldn't help it. He seemed nice enough, anyway. Maybe he just wanted someone to talk to, or maybe he was just naturally an open person.

But the confused look on her face prompted him without words, and he explained with a friendly smile, "I work here, I'm Ezekiel. Sorry, I just noticed that you were getting a little emotional while watching the tigers and I – "

"No, I wasn't," Beth interrupted him, becoming defensive. She could feel her face getting hotter and hotter as she realized he had seen her crying over some fucking zoo tigers. "Something flew into my eye and – "

He put up his hand again, but this time to stop her talking, "It's fine, I didn't mean it that way. We all have emotions, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I just saw you and thought, maybe you understood the connection I feel with these animals. Not many people do. It's nice to see once in a while."

Beth froze and didn't say anything, listening to him intently and letting his words soak in. She nodded in understanding, then glanced over her shoulder to check on Dale and Irma. They had moved just a few more feet away from her, apparently enthralled by the sight of the tigers. She tuned back to Ezekiel and asked him, out of curiosity, "What did you mean, your best friend?"

He smiled knowingly and pointed to the momma tiger that Beth had been watching, then explained, "Right there, that's my best friend. Her name's Shiva. I saved her one day when she had an accident. She had always been difficult, stubborn, untrusting. No one dared go near her, she didn't like humans. Then something happened. We had a bad storm, the power went out, a couple of our enclosures got damaged from the outside, and something had fallen from the ceiling and trapped her leg. I jumped in to help her, without even a second thought. I just did it. She had no one else, I knew no one would be willing to jump in and risk getting mauled. It wasn't even a choice for me. And ever since then, I'm the only one she'll let come near her. She's never tried to harm me, not even once. She even waited for me to come to work before delivering her litter."

Beth's eyebrows rose in surprise at this, and Ezekiel smiled sheepishly when he saw her reaction. "Or at least that's what I like to think. She'd been in labor for a while and hadn't given birth, but she got through it once I came in and saw her."

Beth smiled, the story helping her to forget the memories she'd been dwelling on that were bringing tears to her eyes. She enjoyed listening to Ezekiel talk in his deep voice, and she looked over to the momma tiger again – Shiva. She looked different somehow, now that Beth knew her little secret. The tiger that apparently trusted no one had found someone she could trust, who loved her and cared for her. Yes, she could save herself, and she'd survived without help for years. But then one day, she couldn't. She required someone else's help. And it had come in the form of Ezekiel.

What a lucky tiger, Beth thought to herself.

"That's a pretty amazing story," she said, staring back into Ezekiel's intense, brown eyes. "You guys should put that on the placard, instead of just those lame facts that everyone already knows."

Ezekiel flashed her a wide, pearly white smile and laughed. "You're so right, young lady. Thank you for visiting us here. I hope the love and empathy you have for animals will remain with you for life."

He nodded at her, signaling that he had to leave, and Beth gave him a small wave. He turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd again. When she turned back, Dale and Irma were watching her, waiting for her to turn and realize that they were about to walk away. She spotted them and jogged over to join the old couple.

Irma put a hand on Beth's shoulder as they walked and said, "I think we're gonna treat ourselves to some ice cream cones. How does that sound?"

Beth smiled, getting farther and farther away from Shiva and the tiger enclosure. "That sounds amazing."

The trio walked back towards the entrance of the zoo, finding the food court they'd been looking for. Dale ordered three ice cream cones from one of the vendors and pulled out his wallet, opening it to retrieve money. But before he could get his fingers on the bills, Beth had already reached into her pocket and pulled out her own money, handing a twenty over to the girl behind the counter. Dale and Irma looked at her in surprise, but Dale grinned.

"I got it," Beth winked at him, and Irma nudged her playfully.

"You don't have to do that," she said.

Beth shrugged as the girl behind the counter retrieved her change and handed it over, placing it in Beth's open palm. "Don't worry about it, it's my treat."

"Well, I should've gotten a triple scoop then," Dale joked, making Irma laugh.

As Beth was taking the last of her change from the ice cream girl, a genuine smile on her face, she moved to shove the change into her pocket when a voice stopped her.

"Is your name Beth?"

Her eyes shot up and stared across the counter at the girl who'd just handed her the money. She could feel her own face draining of color, but the girl remained casual with a slight look of curiosity on her face. She was studying Beth's features, trying to remember where she recognized it from. Beth's eyes shot to the nametag pinned to her shirt: Dina. Beth didn't recognize her, but she had a bad feeling that this girl wasn't even from Georgia.

She tried to turn her face away, hide her features and expression. Her short, black hair fell over one eye. "Uh, no? Do I know you?"

Dina shook her head, her lips turning up in an embarrassed smile, "Sorry, I thought you looked familiar. For some reason, I felt like your name was Beth. It's just – your eyes? I don't mean to sound weird, but I just feel like I've seen you somewhere. Your eyes are really memorable."

Beth was fussing with stuffing the bills and coins into her pocket, trying to make it look like her head was turned away because she was distracted, but her brow was furrowing, and she peeked up at the girl from behind her hair. Thankfully, Dina stopped staring at her and was looking nothing less than embarrassed.

"Um, thanks, but I don't know who you're talking about," Beth mumbled, reaching across the counter hastily and taking the ice cream cones from another employee who had approached from behind Dina.

Dina shrugged and muttered, "Sorry. Have a nice day."

Dale and Irma took their cones eagerly and the trio walked away from the stand, finding a table on the other side of the food court, hidden behind some bushes. They sat down and began enjoying their ice cream, but Beth suddenly couldn't taste it. Her tongue felt numb, and she felt like her heart might beat out of her chest.

"What was that about?" Irma finally asked. Unfortunately, she and Dale had both witnessed the odd encounter.

Beth shrugged, trying to look nonchalant, but she knew her face was probably still pale and drained. She answered weakly, "I dunno. Weird. I've never even been here before."

She couldn't help but wonder, though… had that girl seen the news? Had she recognized her face from the Wanted picture in the paper? Was it on TV somewhere without her knowing it?

"I think she may have been flirting with you," Dale said, his voice lowered for discretion as he leaned in closer to Beth to speak. "She did say you have memorable eyes."

Beth had to smirk at that, nearly laughing aloud. She snorted instead, seeing the goofy look on Dale's face and the skeptical gaze Irma was giving him. "Yeah, maybe. Too bad I'm not bi."

Now Dale smirked, and Irma giggled as she continued eating her ice cream cone.

But in the back of Beth's head, she was realizing there was still one recognizable feature of herself that she'd forgotten to disguise. And she couldn't afford any slip-ups like this one in New York City.

to be continued…

A/N: I hope you all had wonderful holidays! And I hope this chapter was enjoyable. Thank you for reading and reviewing, I truly appreciate it. Big shoutout to GracieMae11 for reminding me of Beth's other recognizable feature that I'd almost forgotten about lol so thanks for creating another little dilemma for the fic! :)