Here is the second chapter. I ope you like it and please leave a review so I know if you like it and to motivate myself to write more. If you have an idea or something you would like to read about please write me and i'll see what I can do.
Talking
Judd took a glass from the cupboard filling it with water. Now he was standing there leaning on the kitchen thinking about what he should ask TK and what not. He felt the presence of Grace behind him and then he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up Judd, ask God for the right words and he will give you the confidence to talk to TK. I guess that he had a hard time so treat careful but don't give up on him, alright?" Judd smiled at Graced and kissed her. "I love you sweetheart and I don't wanna lose you ever."
He took the glass and made his way over to the guest bedroom. "Hey TK. Drink that. You don't look so good." TK nodded and sipped at the water. "Thank you Judd. You know, for taking me in. I don't wanna be a burden so I'm gonna be gone in the morning." Judd shook his head. "Nah, you are staying as long as you need to. The Captain and you and the whole team were there for me every step of my coming back and now I am going to help you because you are clearly struggling with everything going on. "
TK sighed and sat down the almost full glass of water. "I don't wanna be ungrateful but I am sure that you have no clue what I am going through." Judd looked down at his shoes grinning slightly. "The day my brothers died I was laying on my back. I wasn't able to move the slightest bit and that terrified me. I could hear the flames crackling and the water was still gushing from a hose but the only thing I could see was the deep black sky above me. Even the moon was gone and my mind was blank-" TK shifted uncomfortably. "Judd, please, you don't have to tell me that. It's your private thing-" But Judd wasn't having it. "No TK, I have to tell you that because you have to see that I want the best for you and I'm not treating you like this just because I pity you. It's because I had Grace when I struggled and I know you have your father but you don't want to burden him. Am I right?"
TK nodded slightly. "He is the one literally dying and I'm the one causing him stress and problems. I have no idea why he is keeping up with my shit." Judd was surprised by Taylors words because he always had the feeling that TK loved being with his father and he had never thought that TK was less self confident than he appeared. "Come on TK. Owen loves you and he would do everything for you." TK began to chuckle lightly but it was humorless and drenched with anger. His words were so quiet but in the silence Judd was able to make them out. "He should have left me dead."
To say that Judd was shocked of these words would have been an understatement. TK always seemed so happy with life and Judd never would have thought that TK regrets to live. "Hey brother, what you mean with that?" TK was too ashamed to look at Judd but he deserved to hear the truth about the suicidal fireman. Judd and the whole team were putting their lives in TKs hands but he wasn't fair to them. It was their decision if they wanted to work with a junkie. Judd broke the silence first. "I that about what you said earlier? About being an addict?" TK nodded and suddenly he had the courage to talk with Judd. He had the right to know.
"Back in New York I had a boyfriend. I loved him so much, at least I thought that I did and I was gonna propose. You have no idea how nervous I was that evening." Judd smiled. "Hell when I was going to propose to Grace my hands were sweating like hell." Tk had to grin at the thought of Judd being nervous but he had to finish his story before he would lose his nerves again. "Yeah I had everything prepared and I even reserved in a fancy restaurant. But everything went wrong that evening. Alex said that he loved another man and I was devastated so I made the wrong decision."
TK had to stop talking because his throat was closing up to the point were he had the feeling to suffocate. "I overdosed."
He spit the words out and suddenly he felt trapped. Everything was closing up on him and the silence from Judd gave him the rest. "I'm sorry. You should have known before we started working together and you have every right to say that I am a bad firefighter. I'm an asshole and I know it but being a firefighter is everything I have left. If you and the team don't wanna work with me anymore than I'm gonna transfer somewhere else. I should go now." He grabbed his things of the nightstand in a hurry and was on his way out of the bedroom door when he felt a hand closing around his wrist. "TK STOP. I don't want you to transfer anywhere. You are a great firefighter and I never questioned that you would protect us at all times. We are a team and I see you in that team. No matter what you told me seconds ago. It doesn't make you a worse person but it makes the bond in out team stronger to know that we are all vulnerable and that we need each other. "
TK could feel the tears in his eyes but at the moment he couldn't care less about Judd seeing him crying. "Thank you so much. I wish I've had friends like all of you when I was a teenie. Maybe I wouldn't have become an addict." Judd sighed and pulled TK towards the bed. "As much I like the open conversation we are having, you need to sleep. You were hurt, and I'm still angry that you didn't tell us, and you have had a long and exhausting day. Get some shuteye and in the morning we can talk about what happened back in New York, alright?" TK nodded shyly. "Thanks Judd. I appreciate what you've done for me." Judd turned of the light and stood on the doorway for a second while TK adjusted the blankets around himself. "Our door is the next on the left. If you need anything at all come over or call out. No matter how late okay?" "Yeah DAD."
Tks reply left Judd grinning. Yeah he kind of go the feeling that he played Tks father but somehow he didn't have a problem with that. He liked the kid and the more he got to know about TK the more he could see that Taylor was still an insecure boy with the fear of losing his beloved father.
"Good Night, brother."
The thoughts in TKs head were making him crazy and the only thing that he could do was lying on the damn bed and staring at the white ceiling. It was a bit after one in the night when TK decided that he couldn't stay in bed anymore. He pulled away the covers and tip toed down the hallway. When he came down the stairs he saw a series of photos on the wall. He hadn't seen them on his way up but now the moon was shining on a few of them directly. When he looked at them he saw Judd and Grace in most of them. He saw a photo of a teenager and it looked like Grace standing at her fathers side. She was smiling brightly and her father looked at her proudly while her mother held a testimony into the camera.
The next photo showed the parents of Judd and Grace standing on their sides at their wedding. The flowers in Graces hands were lightly purple and her wedding was shining as bright as the bride herself. TK was overcome with emotions because suddenly he realized that he would possibly never marry anyone and even if he would marry sometime, his dad would not be there. He could feel the emotions rising in his chest and within seconds tears were leaking out his eyes. His hands became shaky and all he wanted was a cup of water in order to wash away the sudden dryness in his mouth so he made his way over to the kitchen and searched through the cupboards.
Finally grabbing a glass he filled it with water from the sink. His hands were still shaking slightly so he grabbed the glass harder not noticing the light now coming from the hallway. Grace had heard the guest roaming through the house so she decided to ask TK if he needed something. She didn't expect to surprise TK in the kitchen but when she saw the young men shaking in the kitchen the quietly called out for TK. She had been really quiet but TK still startled and the glass slipped from his grasp and shattered on the hard floor.
Tks hands flew over his ears in shock and for a second Grace could see that fear in the eyes of TK who came across like a child more than a grown man. But the image fled as fast as it came that Grace almost thought that she had imagined it. "I'm so sorry Grace. I'll clean the mess up immediately." TK was already reaching or the shards of glass before Grace could say anything. "No TK. It's fine. I didn't mean to startle you. Let me get the hoover." A hiss escaped TKs lips when a sharp edge cut into the flesh of his finger. Grace stopped in her track and went for the first aid kid in the kitchen. With a small bandage she dressed the cut. "Come on TK. Let's go to the living room. I want to get a better look at you." TK wanted to resist but he didn't have the energy to say anything against her so let himself be led towards a sofa.
"I am sorry Grace. All I do is create a mess everywhere I go. I'll clean that up and I will pay for the broken glass." Grace looked TK in the eyes and smiled. "I don't care about the glass but I certainly care about you and I know for a fact that you don't create a mess everywhere you go."
TK snorted. "Sure. My Dad is in pain because of me and Judd gets triggered because I am not even able to listen to what he says." Grace laid TKs hand back into his lap. "It may be that Judd got triggered but that isn't your fault. He gets triggered by a lot of things because he went through a really bad time. I went with him through all the problems and I know how it looks when a persons gets lost in memories. I can tell that you went trough some bad things yourself because your reaction back there in the kitchen was not something a grown man does. It's the reaction of a scared kid." TK went into full panic. "Never had he let anyone see that vulnerable side of him. He had always managed to hide the memories of his childhood." Grace immediately noticed the slight change in TK. His pupils were dilated and his breathing was more erratic. "Hey TK. You have to calm down a notch. You are still hurt and I don't want you to faint on me. I wont force you to talk to me but you have to breath more calmly, please."
It was not that TK didn't want to be calm but he couldn't control his emotions anymore. The walls were falling apart and the craving for Oxycodon or something else was growing quickly. The only thing Grace could think of in order to help TK was to embrace him so she pulled him into a tight hug rocking him slightly from side to side. "You are okay. Everything is going to be okay." Her voice was calm and she could recognize the feeling of her talking to a victim on the phone but this time she could feel the other person. She could feel the shaking of TKs body. He was now full on sobbing and it didn't seem as if he would calm down soon. But that was okay because Grace had no intention of leaving him alone for a while.
Out of the corner of her eyes she could see Judd leaning against the doorway. He was smiling at her because he knew exactly how calming it felt to be embraced in her arms. You could feel safe as if the world had no chance of bothering you. Sure it was strange to see another man in her arms but he trusted her and on the other side he knew that TK was homosexual so he had no doubts there. It was just his beautiful wife helping on of his brothers going trough a really hard time. Judd smiled at Grace and mouthed a 'Thank you' at her. She smiled back at him and continued to rub over TKs back. "You'll be alright. God can help you with anything. You just have to talk to him and tell him all your fears." TKs sobs were slowly turning into hiccups and after a while his breathing evened out. She knew that TK had fallen asleep so she winked Judd over to help her. Together they managed to lay TK down without waking him up.
Judd kissed Grace and enveloped her into a tight hug just like she had done with TK. "How could I have deserved a wise and caring wife like you? I don't know how I would have survived without you." Grace grinned back at him. "How could I have deserved the forgiveness of God? It's love. And that all that matters." Judd kissed her again. "How right you are. I really love you. How could someone not love you? Let's get back to sleep. I think he will be asleep for a while. His day was long and the emotional rollercoaster was exhausting." Grace squinted at the sleeping form of TK. "I would like to stay here. Maybe he needs something else later or he will wake up because of a nightmare like you do often. He shouldn't wake up alone now." Smiling at Grace Judd nodded. "I understand what you mean. You are in your full mother mode and I know I can't stop you. I'll get a few blankets. The couch is comfortable enough to sleep on one night. I'll take the first shift and you take over in a few hours. It's more likely for him to wake up in the morning than in the night so you should probably be here in there morning."
Grace smiled and nodded. "You are right. And you are a good brother to TK. That is the most important thing right now. I'll see you in a bit. Sleep tight but keep an eye on our guest. I'm starting to like the spoiled city boy." Judd couldn't help but turn red. "You know that I didn't mean it like that. I like him too. He is my brother and he doesn't deserve what he has to go through alone."
"No one has to struggle alone. The lord is right by his side but he has to learn to trust his plans. Even if it's hard sometimes."