Chapter 11

September 1999

Dubrovnic, Croatia

Harm dropped off his pack in his hotel room, changed into civvies and went out to walk to his rendez-vous.

Nell did pretty much the same a few minutes later. When she arrived, Harm was sitting on the terrace of the café, reading a newspaper. She had a few seconds to watch him before he looked up and saw her. They both smiled. Harm got up and they shared a long hug.

« Nine years already ! »

« Time flies by ! »

Sitting down, they started talking while the waiter brought the menu. During the last nine years, they had only written letters and emails to each other, so they had a lot more to share, stories, anecdotes.

They had started eating when Harm looked intrigued by something that was happening behind Nell. She turned her head and like a movie in slow motion, saw the big black sedan, its window being opened and the muzzle appear in the opening. She heard Harm yell and dropped on the pavement under the table. Bullets began flying over her head, and she felt Harm close his arms around her. She had a fleeting thought that he would always be her knight in Dress Whites, even if he didn't have it on today.

The shooting lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Harm had been shot at before, and he knew what to do next.

He lifted his head above the table, saw the car drive away quickly. He turned around and looked at the bodies around him. Nell got out of hiding as well, opened her cell phone. A man was coming up to her, so she gave it to him.

« Call an ambulance and stay on the line. »

The man obviously understood what she was saying, and that was a relief.

Harm checked the pulse of a man sprawled a few feet away, and shook his head when Nell looked at him. He went to help a woman crying on her chair while Nell approached another man lying on the pavement. He had been shot through the abdomen and was losing a lot of blood. She took off her jacket and bent over him.

« Hi, my name is Nell. What is yours ? »

The man was still conscious. « Stan... »

« Hello Stan. Stay calm, I'm going to help you, okay ? »

She didn't know if he could understand her, but sometimes the right tone is enough to break the language barrier. She smiled and pressed her folded jacket on the wound. Stan had a hiccup.

« I know it hurts, but I have to slow the bleeding. » She turned to Harm, saw that he had put a makeshift bandage around the woman's arm.

« Harm ! I need your jacket ! »

He took it from his fallen chair.

« Help me. I'm going to pull him towards me, you put your vest under his back and I'm going to lie him down again on it. It should compress his wound from the back, so you fold it tight. One, two, three. »

Together they moved Stan who howled in pain.

« I'm sorry Stan. This is Harm, he's helping as well. »

She put her own jacket back on the injury on the belly.

« Harm, push down, please. »

Nell brought Stan's limbs forward and folded them over his chest, compressing the wound. She put her arm over his legs to keep them in place.

« You stay with me, Stan ! Don't you dare pass out ! »

Another man came close and started talking very fast.

« I'm sorry, I don't understand, but I'm sure he can. Talk to him, keep him alert. »

Harm, sensing the situation was under control, went to check on the other victims.

The ambulances arrived just a few minutes later, as well as a police car. The EMT loaded the victims in the vans, thanking Harm and Nell for their quick actions. The police officers took their statements, their numbers and let them go. They looked at each other and finally noticed the blood they were covered in.

Back at the hotel, they each went to their own room. It took Harm a few minutes to shower and change. He also took a moment to write down his recollection of what had happened, in case he had missed something the first time he told the police. He then tried to call Nell's room, but got no answer. Starting to worry, he left his room and knocked on her door.

« Nell ? » He turned the knob and entered. The sound of the water was covering his footsteps so he repeated louder. « NELL ? »

He went to the bathroom. Nell was sitting under the spray, knees up and arms wound tight around them, shaking uncontrollably. He turned the water off and threw a towel over her shoulders. Her eyes were open wide and staring out. Harm sat down near the stall and pulled Nell into his arms, making shushing sounds to calm her down. He rubbed the fabric over her arms and legs. After a minute, she started coming back, looking like she hadn't seen him come in. She peered into his eyes, locked her arms around his neck and attacked his mouth with hers.

Nell finally got up, went back in the shower and rinsed herself. Harm stood up and looked at his clothes. His shirt was torn and his pants stained with water. They faced each other with unease.

« Nell... »

« Harm... don't worry, it doesn't mean anything. We just... wanted to take comfort into each other, nothing more. »

Harm stayed silent while Nell went to the bedroom to get dressed.

They met again in the lobby. Nell was facing the entrance door with an air of fear. Harm walked up to her, took her hand.

« I'll walk out with you. »

« That was the first time... French people don't make a habit of shooting at one another. And they never let women see combat in the Air Force. »

« I'm here for you, Dragon. »

She lifted her eyes to him, took a deep breath and they walked out.

Everything was the same, and this took Nell by surprise. She had been so shocked by the shooting she thought everything would be different. People were walking by, going about their businesses, the sun was shining and the wind was blowing softly in the trees.

« Where do you want to go ? »

« I have to get back there. At the café. »

« You're sure ? »

« Yes. It's what I've been training for all my career. »

« You're not a grunt, Nell, you're a pilot. You haven't been trained for that. »

« Still. »

« All right. »

Keeping her hand in his, he led her around the corner of the block. There, however, everything was still in chaos. Police cars were blocking the street, techs and officers were working amongst the debris, and blood was still staining the pavement. Nell had to take another deep breath.

A man wearing a badge on his civilian clothes met them at the yellow tape that was blocking the sidewalk.

« I know who you are. You were in the café when they shot. »

« Yes. »

Harm handed the detective the report he wrote.

« This is my statement. We'll send you Colonel Marchand's as soon as she writes hers. »

« Thank you. It was quick. »

« Memories are better when they're fresh. »

« That is true. I'm sorry you had to experience this. »

« Do you have a lead so far ? »

The detective looked at them suspiciously.

« Why do you want to know ? »

« Do you think we could have been the targets ? »

Nell paled. « Could it be true ? »

The man stayed quiet and then lowered his voice. « I don't believe so, because you were not in uniform. The man who was killed, the police know him. Albanian mafia. It's more probable he was the target. But politics... »

« Yeah, I get it. Thanks, Detective. »

He went back to the crime scene while Nell and Harm remained still.

« What now ? »

« I'm not really in the mood for a museum visit, Harm. »

« We could tour the city, what do you think ? It's beautiful I hear. »

« Yes, let's walk. »

The city was indeed beautiful. Little streets of cobbled stone, castles with turrets, and an amazing view from the ramparts. When they stopped for dinner, Harm chose an italian restaurant and they went all the way inside. They both felt safer with a wall behing their backs.

« How are you right now? »

« Better. I may have to talk with a shrink when I'm back on base, but the first shock is gone. What about you ? I know it's not the first time you've been shot at. »

« I'm okay. It's been a while, though. And I never enjoy it. »

Later in the night, Nell had a nightmare. She tought about fighting it on her own, even getting drunk to be able not to see it all over again, but in the end she called Harm. He came right away and they spent the night in each other's arms, until dawn broke.

They had thought they would spend a lovely weekend together, but it had turned out badly. The only good thing was they hadn't been wounded.

Chapter 12

October 2nd 1999

Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo

Nell closed the lid and sat down on the toilet. She was holding her future in her hands. One line and her life would go on without a hitch. Two lines and her life... her life would change forever.

She waited one minute. Two minutes...

Virginie stepped into the apartment yelling « NELL ! ».

Nell jumped and walked into the living room. « What ? »

« I've been knocking on the door for the last ten minutes ! What were you doing ? Didn't you hear me ? »

« Sorry... I got... distracted. »

« By what ? You're okay ? »

« I... »

She looked at the white plastic stick. « My life is about to change. »

« Oh my Gosh ! You're pregnant ? »

Nell sat on the sofa, Virginie in front of her on the coffee table.

« Yeah... »

Virginie looked at her friend with concern. « Is that good news or bad news ? »

« I don't know. I have no idea what to do about it. »

« We could make a decisions tree. »

Nell stared at Virginie. « A what ? »

Virginie got up, took a sheet of paper and drew a box. Inside, she wrote 'Baby ?'. She drew another box, and a line connecting the two.

« First answer is 'No', which leads to 'Back to normal' in a couple of weeks. Second answer, » she wrote in another box, « is yes. »

She started drawing lines and boxes while enumerating all possibilities.

« If you have the baby, you can either give it up for adoption, or keep it. And if you keep it, you can either keep it to yourself, or share with the dad. Who's the dad, by the way ? You haven't been with anyone since you broke up with Charles. At least that I know of. »

« I told you about Dubrovnik. Well, I left a detail out. When we got back to the hotel, Harm and I... we kinda... jumped on each other. Survival instinct I guess. »

« Are you going to tell him ? »

« I don't know. The only thing I know for sure is I can't fly anymore. »

Virginie stayed silent.

« I need to see a doctor and have some blood work done. He will tell the General, who will ground me. And once I'm grounded, the squadron will want to know why. Rumors go fast, so I'll have to tell them as well. Everybody will know even before I call my parents to announce the news. »

She sighed. « I have to take a decision first. »

« How far along are you ? Three, four weeks ? »

« Twenty-three days. »

« You still have all options available. »

Nell didn't talk for a minute.

« The first thing you should do is talk with the doctor. He'll give you a physical, answer your questions. He's no OB-GYN, but he has some fancy equipment. »

« Yeah. I'll ask him if he can keep it quiet for a few days. Thanks Ginny. »

They hugged. « You're welcome. I'm here for you, always. »

« I know. »

Later that week, Nell walked into the doctor's office.

« Twenty-seven days. All right, let's see what we have here. I'm not a specialist, but it's not my first pregnancy sonogram. »

He covered Nell's belly with gel and put the probe down. At first, Nell saw only grey and white. The sounds were coming from her insides, her own heartbeat. The doctor moved the probe around, trying to check everything. And then he stopped, pushed. And Nell heard a fluttering, fast and strong.

« We have a heartbeat. Here it is. »

The white and grey became more definite and she saw a teeny tiny white thing on the black.

« It's very early yet, so arms and legs don't show up. »

He turned knobs on his machine and the white thing became bigger.

« But you're definitly pregnant. I'll wait for you in my office while you get dressed. » He turned off the machine, but the last image remained on the screen.

Nell stayed alone with her thoughts, and the image of... her future baby. It did look more like a blob at this stage, but she had heard the heartbeat. And knew she was going to cross one of the boxes on her chart.

This baby was staying with her.

Chapter 13

October 1999

Abord the USS Patrick Henry

In the Adriatic sea

Dear Nell,

I'm on the crow's nest at the moment, looking over the deck and thinking. I had a talk with the CAG earlier and... my carreer as a Naval Aviator may come to an end sooner than I expected. I missed a couple of wars, I don't have enough flight hours or traps to command a squadron... I love flying, Nell, I so love it. You know the feeling of flying a jet. It's a feeling like no other.

But I have to think of my career. There's a court martial on board at the moment, the fleet JAG doesn't know a thing about this end of the law, he's more of an administrative lawyer. And I can't help but trying to help. When I lost my flying status in '91, I was reluctant to go into law. And now, it seems I can't wait to get back to it.

But if I leave, maybe I should say « when I leave », it's going to be my choice, and on my time. I'll be able to keep my flying status, do my quals. I've come to love the law. I'll be leaving with my head high, having served well, having nothing else to prove. The squadron gave me a new callsign today, the same as my fathers, Hammer. I feel so honored, and proud. I do regret leaving flying and sea duty. But I think I'll love being back into the courtroom. I'll tell you how it goes.

Fly high always !

Harm

Dear Harm,

Life has a way of closing doors in front of our noses just when we expect it the least, only to push them open again when, again, we expect it the least. I'm sorry you're leaving your flight squadron, but I'm glad you'll be doing something you love equally.

I'm coming to the States next month, I'll be in Washington for a day or two. If you're back, or on shore leave, let me know ! I'd love to see you !

Take care of my flyboy !

Nell

Chapter 14

November 1999

Harm's apartment

At the knock on the door, Harm wiped his hands on the towel and went to open.

« Nell ! I'm so happy to see you ! »

« You too sailor ! »

They hugged warmly.

« I'm glad you came. »

« I wasn't going to pass through Washington and not see you. »

« How long are you here ? »

Nell sat to the stool at the bar, and Harm opened his fridge.

« What can I get you ? White wine, beer ? »

« A glass of sparkling water will be fine. Thanks. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. »

« You're not staying long ! »

« I've already been here for a few days, visiting friends in Richmond. I told you my grandfather was a Liaison Officer at NATO for the French Army. He spent a year in the States, and made a friend, Colonel Bruehl. I spent a summer with him and his family when I was a teenager, and we've stayed in touch ever since. »

« Nice ! »

« Yeah. »

Nell was playing with her drink, looking a bit distant. Harm set the timer on his oven and sat down on a stool facing her.

« Nell ? What's going on ? »

She looked at Harm and took a deep breath.

« Harm... Our stay in Dubrovnik... it had some consequences. »

« Consequences ? »

« Yeah... I'm pregnant. »

Harm opened his mouth, closed it, flabbergasted.

« You're sure ? »

« Yes. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I was twelve hours late in taking my pill, and the doctor told me it was enough. »

« Don't blame yourself, Nell. It's equally my fault for not taking precautions. What are you going to do about it ? »

« I'm keeping the baby. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't. »

« And... what about me ? »

« You can choose the place you want in the baby's life. You can be a part of it, visitation rights, or none at all if you prefer. »

Harm looked at Nell's belly.

« No, I'm not showing yet. »

She took an envelope out of her bag and handed it to Harm.

« This is for you. »

Inside, Harm found some pictures. He had no idea what he was looking at until...

« Is it... our baby ? »

« Yes. » Nell smiled softly. « It doesn't look much like a baby yet, but you can see its head and its body. It's about one inch long. »

Harm had trouble breathing. His eyes were fixed on the photos.

« Am I... am I going to be a father ? »

« Yes. »

His eyes filled. He looked at Nell's belly again. She extanded her hand, took his and placed it on her abdomen. He lifted his gaze and looked into Nell's eyes.

« I want to be in this baby's life. I want to be a father. »

« I was hoping you'd say that. »

They stayed silent for a while. The oven's timer rang and made them jump.

« Lasagna's ready. »

Harm hesitated. « Can you eat that ? Do you have a special diet ? It's salmon and spinach. »

« It's perfect. Don't worry. »

Harm served them and they started to eat.

« It's delicious ! »

« Thanks. So, what now ? I assume you can't fly anymore. »

« No, I've been grounded since I told my CO at the beginning of October. I've been working at the control tower. »

« How is it ? »

« Pretty intense. But I enjoy it more than I thought I would. But God I miss flying. »

« Yeah, I know the feeling. You're planning on staying in France ? »

« I'm considering my options. One of them is staying in France. »

Harm paused, pondering his own options.

« I wonder if they need American lawyers in France. »

« I'm sorry, I wouldn't know. But one of my options is working for NATO in Washington. I'm meeting someone tomorrow. »

« You would consider moving here ? »

« You were thinking about moving to France. I don't like American food, except yours, I have the utmost contempt for your health insurance system, but yes, I can move here. »

« About health benefits... »

« If I work for NATO, it'll be a French representative, so French insurance kicks in. No worries about that. »

« Okay. And what would you do for NATO ? »

« Liaison officer. Could be interesting. But they don't send pregnant women overseas, so I'd have to wait until my maternity leave is over. I'm due on June 19th, so that would be around the end of August, September if I can get an extension. »

« You wouldn't be coming back before that ? »

« I haven't organized anything yet. I wanted to see you before starting any plan. »

« I'm with you all the way. I can get a temporary leave in June, so I'll be here for the birth of our baby. Do... do you know yet if it's a boy or a girl ? »

« No, it's way too early to tell. »

« Have you thought about names yet ? »

« No. I want to wait until I'm three months along to start on that. »

« Why wait ? »

« Well, most miscarriages happen during the first three months, so... »

« Oh. »

« The doctor said the heartbeat is strong, so that's a good sign. »

« Are you... happy about it ? I mean, this is really unexpected. »

« At first I was lost, and a bit mad, because I couldn't fly anymore. But now... yeah, I'm happy. »

« Me too. I haven't been in a relationship with a woman long enough to envision children, and I was starting to wonder if I would ever be a dad some day. Thank you, Nell. »

« For what ? »

« For keeping the baby, and telling me about it. »

« Harm, I've known you for over nine years. We're good friends. I would never have kept it from you. »

Harm reached over the bar and took Nell's hand. « Thanks. »

They smiled at each other.

The next day

NATO office in Washington DC

Nell entered the office stood at attention.

« Lieutenant-Colonel Nell Marchand, reporting as ordered. »

« At ease, Colonel. Have a seat. »

« Thank you, mon Colonel. »

« So, you'd like to work for NATO ? I have your resume here, and it's quite impressive. Djibouti, Bosnia. And the letter of recommendation General Roux wrote is very positive. But you don't want to fly anymore ? »

« Unfortunately, Sir, my desire to fly is not in question here. I'm grounded due to my pregnancy. I can go back on flight status in about a year, but I'm considering relocation in the States so I can be closer to the baby's father. Working for NATO as a liaison officer would be a good option. »

« What do you know about what we do ? »

« About the job itself, not much. But I've worked under NATO's flag, flown with pilots from different nations, and I'm fluent in English. I'm willing to study, have a training course to learn what needs to be done. »

« And when would you be available ? »

« Early September. I'm due around June 19th, so taking into consideration my maternity leave, not earlier than August 28th. »

« So it's very early yet. »

« Yes, Sir. I'm in my tenth week. »

« So you may be able to move in... let's say January ? »

« Technically, yes, Sir. But I'm not sure I'd be allowed to. »

« Here is my problem : my Air Force liaison is retiring on December 31st. I need to replace him, but the two people that were selected can't make it. You'd be a perfect candidate. Would you be okay to start in January ? »

« I don't see why not, sir. I just have to find a place to live. »

« Well, since Lieutenant-Colonel Petit is returning to France, his apartment is available. I'll see to it that you can move in as soon as he's out. I'll give him your contact information. »

« Thank you sir. »

« I'll contact your CO and administration to deal with the paperwork. If everything goes well, you'll be with us in a couple of months ! »

Their final handshake was firm, and made Nell smile. This new chapter of her life seemed to be more exciting than ever !