Why Pokemon and Yugioh cannot have a duel - Pot of Greed!

by Pikazilla

Pokemon vs Yugioh, Pikachu vs Dark Magician. GO! Disclaimer, for those who care: This is a satirical parody of Vs Battles. Don't be 'offended' by the result. Big warning: there IS a loser and they WILL die. Also Red is Ash; Say what you want, I know that while the characters are technically different they might as well be the same guy and that's how I'm depicting him (so sue me).

Red- You're Yugi correct, the greatest duelist in the world? I challenge you!

Yami Yugi- I accept! So before we begin I must ask, what are the terms of the duel?

Red- Winner gets money.

Yugi- Oh so it's a gamble? Normally losing Duel Monsters would involve saws or soul stealing.

Red- I don't... what?

Yugi- I still accept! It's time to DUEL!

-Duel Starts-

Yugi- I draw, and I activate Pot of Greed to draw 2 more cards!

Red- Why are you using cards?

Yugi- My monsters are in the cards.

Red- ...So cards are like Pokeballs? They let you summon Pokemon?

Yugi- I... guess. I call them Duel Monsters.

Red- Okay, carry on.

Yugi- Right! Now I summon Kuriboh in attack mode!

Kuriboh- Wooooh!

Yugi- Your move.

Red- Pikachu I choose you! GO!

Pika- Pikachu!

Red- Pikachu use Thunderbolt!

Pika- Pikapi. Pika!

(Kuriboh explodes)

Red- Oops! I accidentally killed your Pokemon! That never happened before, I swear!

Pika- (Pikachu says he's sorry)

Yugi- Uh... it's not big deal. Kuriboh does die a-lot, I must admit.

Red- Oh... okay then let's continue I guess...

Yugi- Right! I draw! I activate Pot of Greed to draw 2 more cards! And I summon Celtic Guardian in attack mode, and end my turn! (I'm so skilled at my own game, my tactics are amazing!)

Red- Did you just summon a guy?

Yugi- Yes.

Pikachu- Pika pika! (I can take him easily, I've done so before: he's that low tier trash from Smash Bros!)

Red- I can't be fighting actual human people, unless they are mimes.

Yugi- So you're not going to attack my monster?

Red- I don't think I am allowed to legally.

Yugi- If you won't act then I will. I draw! I activate Pot of Greed! And I activate another Pot of Greed! And now I activate Monster Reborn to bring Kuriboh back on the field!

Red- (sighs) Good, I thought he was dead forever.

Yugi- And now I tribute both of my monsters to summon Dark Magician!

Red- Did you just kill both of your Pokemon!?

Yugi- Technically yes.

Red- That's... messed up.

Yugi- Sacrifices must be made when lives are on the line. Every Duel Monsters game I play could affect the fate of the entire world. Which is why I need to end this quickly... I activate the Spell Card: Thousand Knives!

Pika- Pi!?

Red- PIKACHU NO!

(I shouldn't need to say this but Pikachu is dead... super dead.)

Yugi- Now Dark Magician, attack directly, use Dark Magic Attack! (the attack, not the Spell Card)

Red- Wait, we're not supposed to fight!

(Red gets zapped and lies unconscious on the ground)

Yugi- Now I end my turn. Your move.

Red- ...

Yugi- That's odd, he should have enough Life Points. Wait are we doing Duelist Kingdom, Battle City, OCG, or spinoff rules?

Red- ...

Yugi- I think I did something wrong here.

(a police car arrives)

Officer Jenny- Stop right there criminal weeb! You're under arrest for murder!

Yugi- Wait, murder is a crime now? Panik tried to kill duelist with flamethrowers, and he's just a minor villain; what are my police doing to stop crimes?

Mr. Armstrong- If you're going to resist arrest, then I will have to DUEL YOU!

Yugi- Oh right, duels.

Mr. Armstrong- I draw, and I ACTAVATE POT OF POT!