i'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
Daryl apologized sheepishly for the mess on Beth's bed and promptly gathered her clothes together for her before slipping on his own and heading out to the hallway to fetch a fresh set of sheets. She assured him it was fine but he insisted on pulling off the old bedding and putting on the new by himself, and wouldn't allow her to help when she tried. She chuckled and shrugged, then went to the bathroom while he made her bed.
When she returned, she realized the room reeked of sex. She found Daryl smoothing out a new, clean comforter and fluffing the pillows inside their new pillowcases. She approached him from behind and slowly wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning against his back and planting a few soft kisses there. She saw the long, red scars before she saw the faded, black tattoos. She bit back her curious questions, though, and acted like she either didn't see them or didn't care. Though it wasn't that much of an act – his scars were his own business, and she wasn't about to ruin this blissful evening with something stupid like that.
Surprisingly, when he finished with the bed, he leaned back into her embrace for a peaceful moment. Then he took her hands in his and pulled them away from his skin, turning around to face her and still holding her hands in his. She looked up at him with a content smile on her face and she saw the exhaustion in his eyes, but she also saw something else that looked like questions or hesitation.
He glanced over at the nightstand and she followed his gaze to see the pocket watch sitting out. Her heart skipped and she realized she'd forgotten to take it out from beneath her pillow.
Thank God I put the gun and that photo away days ago, she thought.
"Found that under yer pillow," he grunted, looking down into her eyes. She could see him studying her.
She nodded and tried to appear as casual as possible. "Thanks, forgot I put it there."
Daryl furrowed his brow and parted his lips like he was going to ask about its origins, but then he must've decided against it. She thought maybe he'd decided not to ask for the same reason she'd decided to ignore the long scars all over his back.
"I gotta go check on the kid," he said quietly, and she caught him glancing down at her nipples peaking beneath her shirt for a brief second before he looked back at her eyes.
Beth was thankful he'd changed the subject. She could almost hear the watch ticking from where it sat.
Her smile faded and she nodded, beginning to pull her hands back. She knew it was selfish, but she couldn't help except to feel a bit disappointed, expecting him to find an excuse to run off to his bedroom for the rest of the night. "Oh – yeah. Okay."
But he didn't let go of her hands and he pulled her in closer as she attempted to take a step back. She looked up at him questioningly and he was studying her face, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"I'll come back – if ya want," he grumbled, watching her eyes carefully.
She couldn't hold back the smirk that appeared on her face and she shrugged sheepishly. "'Course I want you to… but what about – "
He squeezed her hands and stopped her, "Lemme go check on him an' if he's still out cold, I'll come right back. He won't even notice I'm gone fer at least another couple hours."
Beth glanced at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was nearly eleven. Odd, because it felt much later. Or maybe she was just tired at a reasonable time and it felt strange after the past couple of weeks.
She nodded and smiled again, watching Daryl rush out to the hall and off toward his bedroom. He was almost completely silent in his movements, and she sat down on the bed and strained her ears to listen for the familiar sound of Malachi's voice. But a minute passed and she heard nothing.
Beth grabbed the pocket watch from the nightstand and opened it briefly, checking that it still worked. She knew it did, though, because she could feel it ticking in her palm.
A taunting voice in the back of her head reminded her, What would your daddy think of you right now? Maggie? Fooling around with an older man, getting all wrapped up in his life and his kid's life. Meanwhile, everyone you've ever loved is sitting behind bars, probably less than twelve hours from seeing a judge. Maggie told you to run, but you're planting seeds instead. Are you proud of yourself…?
She opened the drawer of the nightstand and carefully set the watch down inside before shutting the drawer quietly. The voice in her head eventually got drowned out.
Beth pulled back the comforter and took her pajama pants off again, leaving them on the floor before she climbed into bed. Her eyelids grew heavy as soon as she'd scooted in and settled into the spot closest to the wall, breathing in the smell of clean laundry from the new sheets and comforter. She hadn't felt this relaxed in a while, especially not in this particular bed.
A few minutes later, she was fighting sleep. Luckily, Daryl appeared in the doorway and nodded at her, shutting the bedroom door all but a crack behind him. He stepped so lightly on the carpet that she could barely hear his footsteps, and when he reached the bed, she saw him place his phone on the nightstand. Then he turned off the bedside lamp before climbing into the empty spot Beth had left for him.
He smelled like the handsoap that sat on the bathroom sink and she guessed he'd taken a trip to the bathroom before returning, or Malachi had needed a midnight bathroom trip. He'd stripped off his shirt and pants again before slipping beneath the comforter, and when Beth stretched her arm out to lay it across him, she felt his warm, bare skin – he really did run hot. She was beginning to realize he always radiated a lot of body heat.
Daryl lay down on his back and wrapped his right arm around Beth, and she scooted in closer against him until she was curled into the crook of his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. She sighed, almost in relief. He tensed up at first and she wondered for a second if she made him feel as nervous as he sometimes made her feel, but then he relaxed. She felt his fingertips begin to absent-mindedly trace shapes on her arm and her side just above where the comforter covered them, sending chills down her leg. She smiled and let her eyes drift shut.
"Gotta get up 'fore the kid. I set an alarm but I'll try not ta wake ya," he whispered softly, and she felt him pressing his nose and lips against the top of her forehead, leaving a light kiss there.
Beth nodded against his shoulder, eyes still shut. She couldn't seem to find the energy to open them. "Mm'kay…"
He planted another kiss on her forehead and she brushed her fingertips across his bare belly, feeling his muscles tense briefly beneath her touch. When she let her hand come to a rest again, she realized her fingers were resting over the thickened line of skin just above his left hip bone. She could just barely feel the tiny dots of thick skin on either side of it, from where there had been stitches. He shivered as she traced the scar up and down with the very tip of her index finger.
"You gonna ask…?" He whispered out gruffly once his shivers had left.
She shrugged lightly against him and continued tracing the shape of the scar with her fingertip. "Figured you'd tell me if you wanted to…"
He grunted quietly but his fingers didn't stop running up and down her arm and side. His voice was heavy with sleep. "Ain't nothin' cool… Jus' a reminder."
Beth kept her fingers moving slightly, but the last of her energy was draining. Daryl's words, however, grasped her attention.
"What d'you gotta remember?"
Without hesitation, he mumbled, "Not t'be the waste a space, asshole redneck that I was back in Georgia."
In her sleepy, comfortable state, Beth impulsively asked, "An' the ones on yer back?"
She finally lifted her eyelids, realizing what she'd asked. She should've thought about her words more carefully. Now Daryl had paused, and she held her breath waiting for him to either tell her to mind her business or just give her the cold shoulder.
But he did neither of those things.
After a short pause, he replied quietly, his voice a bit more tentative, "Only thing my ol' man left me that ever did me any good… Those're my reminders of how ta be a dad."
"Oh," she breathed out, fingers pausing and settling over his hip scar. She covered it with her palm and asked, "So who did this one?"
A smooth transition, even in her after-sex haze.
Daryl grunted like he might laugh and explained briefly, "Some asshole my brother knew… Got me inta some shit with another tweaker, I took a blade fer his ass an' he ditched me there. He was already high as hell. Knew he was gettin' outta control after our ol' man died, but that… it took a knife in my gut ta really wake me the hell up."
Beth furrowed her brow, listening intently. He spoke about it like it was a distant memory that no longer affected him – almost like the way she thought of herself sometimes, and some of the things she'd witnessed. And done.
She'd never been stabbed, though. "Wow… how long ago was that?"
She felt him shrug lightly beneath her and he grunted like it was an uninteresting topic. "Way 'fore Mal. Before I met his mom… Day I got outta the hospital, I packed my shit an' took every dollar I ever saved. Hauled ass here. Never looked back."
Beth made a sound from her throat like, "Hmm." She wasn't sure what to say to that. It certainly intrigued her, and she was mentally slipping another tiny piece into place on her Daryl Dixon jigsaw puzzle. But she didn't want to say that it made sense, because it certainly wasn't what she'd expected.
Yet somehow it made her feel a little closer to him. Not just because he was sharing it with her, but because she saw something familiar in him and the kindred part inside her was reaching out to it. Whether she wanted it to or not.
And then you met her, she thought. She didn't speak it this time.
"You didn't know… anyone?" Beth asked softly. Her eyelids were falling shut again.
"Jus' Dwight," Daryl mumbled. His words were slow and lazy and he yawned between sentences. "Got me a job an' put me up till I found a place. He moved out here with his woman 'bout a year 'fore I did… Shit, shoulda listened to him the first five times he offered me ta get outta Georgia. Woulda saved me a helluva lotta medical bills."
Beth smirked and let her eyes close, his voice soothing to her ears.
So Dwight is more than just his work buddy... I guess that makes more sense, she thought. Just one more Georgia native to avoid, though. If I ever have to avoid him.
She could feel the vibration his voice was making in his chest combined with his heartbeat. She tried to picture a younger Daryl: the one without Malachi, before Lucy or Carol or New York City. What had he been like? Would they have even spoken to each other if they'd met back home?
He yawned and tightened his arm around her, pulling her in closer and resting his hand on her hip. "I know yers is a lot newer, so I wasn't gonna ask ya…"
Beth opened her eyes lazily and blinked, confused for a second. Then she realized he was talking about her own little reminder, the one on the inside of her wrist.
"Tried t'take the easy way out," she mumbled sleepily. The words came out without much thought. Every day – every moment – made her feel just a little more distant from the Beth that had slit her own wrist. And right now, fighting sleep, the line was blurrier than ever.
He grunted, and she interpreted it as a noise of understanding.
"I was… weak then," she added, pressing the tips of her fingernails into the skin of Daryl's hip absent-mindedly. "Young an' stupid."
A bit of an exaggeration, but the last year had felt more like five years.
"Maybe not," he mumbled. "Seem pretty strong t'me."
She chuckled weakly but didn't open her eyes. "Right… maybe now."
"So it made ya who ya are," he said. "Wouldn't've become strong without bein' weak before… whatever happened. Everythin' that happened."
Beth saw the farm in the blacks of her eyelids for a split-second. Then she said the first thought that came to mind after his words, "I became strong despite everything that happened."
She heard him swallow and felt his muscles tense briefly beneath her. Then he lifted his hand from her hip and gently turned her wrist over, tracing the raised skin with his fingertip before placing his palm over it. He reached his left hand over and carefully took two of her fingers, then guided them to the top of his right hand and let her feel the skin there. He returned his left hand to his side and didn't try to pull away his blemished right hand as she gently touched it.
She was confused at first, until she felt the small patches of raised skin – all in almost perfect circles. She recognized the texture, she'd had a classmate who'd had those marks all over her arms in sophomore year. They were old, scarred cigarette burns. Self-inflicted.
He mumbled softly, "Same here."
Beth ran her fingertips across the small, rough circles again before she slipped her fingers between his and interlaced them together. She squeezed his hand and let them rest, clasped together, on her hip.
"Guess our fresh wounds are physical, too," she whispered.
Knowing that he'd felt that pain – that endless, hopeless, bottomless, absolutely dismal abyss that had threatened to swallow her whole – sent a deep ache through her chest, and she couldn't really explain why. What had he done to deserve that feeling? She had a list of reasons for herself, but what could he have possibly done before NYC that was so bad? If he was the kind of guy who'd take a knife for his brother – and he was – then why had he felt like he didn't have anything to live for? And why had God let him feel that? Wasn't the abusive father and dead mother enough of a punishment for anything?
Yet another to add to the long list of things Beth thought she may never understand in a lifetime.
"She used ta like poetry – had this one line she really loved from some book she used ta have," Daryl mumbled softly as he squeezed Beth's hand again, and she realized he was talking about Lucy. "…'The wound is the place where the Light enters you.'"
Beth smiled softly in the dark despite the fading ache in her chest and whispered back, "That's beautiful."
How did she go from that to lying cold in a motel room? Beth secretly wondered. But it only crossed her mind for a split-second. Her brain was tired from overthinking. It was starting to give up.
Daryl cleared his throat and wiggled in his spot a bit, stretching his legs out beneath the covers. She placed her right leg over his and rested her foot between his shins. Then she squeezed his hand.
When a full minute passed without a sound from either of them, Beth could feel that she was about to drift off. She summoned the last bits of her energy to mumble out quietly, "Wake me up… 'fore you leave…"
She wasn't even sure that he hadn't already fallen asleep. But then he made a quiet "mm-hmm" from his throat and turned his head to press his lips to the top of her forehead again, and she heard him take in a deep breath. Then his arm relaxed and his hand loosened around hers.
Sleep had captured Daryl suddenly, and Beth fell under its spell moments later.
Beth felt like she'd only been asleep for a few minutes, maybe ten at most. She'd had no dreams, and when she drifted into consciousness, she was confused and foggy for longer than usual. But that was probably due to the way she woke up.
"Ro-o-osie… hey, Rosie… Jeez, ya sleep like a rock – hey, psst," Daryl was whispering near her ear, nudging her arm ever so lightly.
Beth lifted her eyelids despite the heavy weights that were fighting to pull them back down. She blinked rapidly and glanced around, toward the clock first. The numbers were foggy and she kept blinking until she could see that it read 4:45. Her vision slowly cleared.
She'd thought the whispering voice was a remnant of a dream until she heard it again and nearly jumped out of her skin. Then the memory of the night before finally sunk in and she turned her head to see Daryl hovering over her, propped up by his hands on the bed on either side of her. The bedroom was still just as dark as it had been when she'd fallen asleep, and the apartment was still silent.
"Mornin'," Daryl whispered, and she could barely make out his eyes staring at her in the dark. It looked like he was smirking and wide awake.
"What – you gettin' up already?" Beth asked quietly, her voice coming out a bit husky from sleep.
"Yeah. Kid wakes up 'bout five," he replied.
"Oh," was all she could think to say. Her brain was still foggy and she was fighting the urge to fall back to sleep.
"But I'll see ya tonight," he whispered. "Right?"
She smiled drowsily and nodded against the pillow, yawning. "Yep – whether you want to or not."
Her eyes were growing more accustomed to the dark room and she could see him more clearly, and he was definitely smirking. She wondered if he'd even slept because he seemed to be wide awake and energetic.
"Well… I want to," Daryl mumbled, and then he was leaning in closer until their faces were inches apart and she could smell the toothpaste on his breath. Again, Beth wondered how long he'd been awake.
She gave him another sleepy smile before closing the distance between them and pressing her lips to his. This seemed to be what he was hoping for because he kissed back eagerly and deepened it within seconds.
Suddenly, Beth's brain was very much awake. Their kiss escalated rapidly and Daryl's tongue was exploring her mouth in no time while she had closed her eyes with no worries of drifting off to sleep. She reached a hand up and grasped the side of his neck gently, pulling his head in closer. The ends of his shaggy hair tickled her fingers and the tops of her hands, and his neck was radiating heat as usual, just like the rest of his body.
He broke the kiss briefly and they opened their eyes to stare at each other, exchanging identical expressions. His breathing had already sped up, just like his pulse against her palm.
"Somethin' else I really wanna do, too," he growled, eyes darting between her eyes and her lips. He looked like he was already performing unspeakable acts inside his head.
The spot between her legs tingled and pulsed and she teased the back of his neck with her fingernails. "Well…"
She watched him glance at the clock on the nightstand and then back at her, momentarily biting his lip in contemplation. "I guess – jus' real quick, we could…"
Beth smirked and wiggled her eyebrows playfully. He smirked back and she could see him holding back laughter.
"What're you waitin' for?" She whispered out, and pulled him back in to kiss her. This time, she nibbled down on his lower lip and heard the faint beginnings of a growl starting in his throat.
He wasted no time pulling the comforter down and off her body, which destroyed the only real barrier between them. He had already been hovering above her, with his hands and knees on either side of her while his head bent down to kiss her. Now that she was lying beneath him in nothing but a thin shirt and some panties, and he was still in nothing more than his boxers, he pulled his lips away and immediately began trailing kisses down her neck, below her ears, and back down along her collarbones.
Beth was too tired to do anything but lie there and wrap her arms around his neck, eyes closed while he kissed every inch of her neck and parts of her shoulders and chest. Then he returned to her lips for a deep, lingering kiss while one hand slipped her panties down and off her legs. She followed his movements and allowed herself to get lost in his smell, his taste, the way his calloused fingers felt as they left feather-light touches all over her exposed skin.
And then he had slipped out of her arms and moved down to position himself between her thighs, his face level with the patch of blonde curls and her quickly moistening entrance. Her heart was racing and she watched with baited breath as he glanced up and made eye contact with her, then grabbed her thighs and gently held them apart while he slowly lowered his head toward her damp warmth.
She'd wanted to watch him, wanted to feel that carnal pleasure that came from seeing his face between her legs and his mouth working on the most sensitive parts of her body. But as soon as his lips made contact with her swollen clit and he began gently sucking and circling his tongue around it, her eyes slammed shut and her head tilted back into the pillow. She bit down on her lower lip and held back a loud moan. It escaped as a low growl from her throat.
Daryl hummed against her clit and she writhed, bucking her hips upward into him. He tightened his grip on her thighs and held her steady while his tongue made its way down through her folds and to her entrance, which was already soaking wet. The pressure in that spot below her abdomen was building fast, and she writhed beneath his hands while his tongue explored and teased.
He lapped up her wetness and teased her pussy, then slid his tongue back up to her clit to resume licking, circling, and sucking. When she continued to writhe beneath him, her breath coming shorter and faster and with more desperation, he sped up his tongue movements and grazed her pulsing clit with his teeth. This time, a moan escaped her throat before she could even think about stopping it.
"Oh – fuck," she gasped, opening her eyes and glancing down to meet Daryl's intense gaze. His eyes were barely open and hazy with lust, and he smiled against her dripping cunt.
She bucked up against him again, unable to hold herself back. After a few more seconds of heavy panting and teasing a trail back-and-forth between her clit and her waiting entrance, he pulled his face away and she watched him lick his lips while he stared into her eyes. A jolt of electricity shot through her and the pressure mounted somewhere in her pelvic area.
Before she could beg or plead for him to touch her again, he had yanked his boxers off and positioned himself on his knees between her legs. His hands gripped her thighs and he pulled her in closer, then leaned down over her and placed his hands on either side of her head to steady himself while he hovered above her. His cock pressed against her pussy, millimeters short of sliding inside effortlessly, and he let out a small groan when he felt her wetness on the head of his rock-hard erection.
"Oh, god, yes," Beth gasped desperately, arms wrapped around him and nails digging into his back. "Do it, please – "
She gasped back the rest of her words and let out a small squeal of pleasure – and surprise – when she felt his thick, throbbing cock slip easily inside her, and with one swift motion, Daryl had thrust himself up inside her until her tight pussy had engulfed every inch. He pressed against her slick walls, stretching her, wordlessly locating the most sensitive spot and hitting against it at just the right angle. He seemed to already be memorizing her body, which was something she wasn't used to.
She could feel him pulsating and twitching inside her, and the head of his cock had been dripping with precome when it found its way to her wet warmth. He grunted with each thrust as he built up a steady rhythm, and her nails dug harder into his back. He seemed to like it, though, because every time he hit that spot, she'd gasp loudly and involuntarily dig her nails in, and then he would immediately growl from his throat and thrust into her harder.
Panting, he whispered out in a deep, husky groan, "Fuck, girl, you – "
But his words were cut off when Beth bucked her hips up into him, urging him deeper inside, and the breath seemed to be snatched right from his throat. He leaned his head down and hungrily kissed her, both of them breathing heavily against the other's lips as Daryl pounded into her, unyielding. His arms were beginning to shake from holding himself up and gripping the bedsheets so tightly, but he didn't seem to care in the slightest.
Their lips hovered, barely touching, and Beth opened her eyes to see Daryl staring at her with the same hooded gaze he'd had when he was face-deep between her thighs. It sent a chill down through her body and she gasped again as he slowed his pace just the slightest and sent entirely new waves of sensation rushing up to her chest.
She couldn't remember ever having the feeling that she was having right now – like he was staring straight into her soul. And she was staring back at his. It sparked another kind of pleasure somewhere deep in her muscles. Something that she wasn't sure even had a name.
She could feel his hot breath against her lips, and she let her face express just how much she was enjoying his cock inside her. He watched her carefully, stared deep into her eyes. She could see the words hanging off the tip of his tongue as he continued his slow, steady thrusts.
"Christ, yer beautiful," he whispered out, and even though he was breathing heavily and occasionally grunting in pleasure, she could see the honesty in his eyes, could hear it in his tone. She could feel it in his body.
Beth smiled, mouth still agape as Daryl repeatedly hit that spot with his cock, and instead of trying to gasp out a reply, she pressed her lips to his again. But she didn't kiss him greedily or desperately – just passionately. Deeply. And with meaning.
A few more hard, shaky thrusts and he was pulling his mouth back again, trying to catch his breath. Beth bit her lip and swallowed back a moan as the pressure mounted inside her. Her fingers weren't letting up on his skin.
She started, "I'm gonna – "
This must've been the signal for double-time to Daryl, because before she could finish the thought, he'd reared back slowly before shoving inside her, arching his back and thrusting into the spot that had made her gasp for breath. Her words disappeared and she shut her eyes tightly as the pressure finally reached its tipping point and exploded inside her.
"Oh – god…!" She squealed, a bit louder than she'd intended. It had proved to be much more difficult to stay quiet than she'd thought.
But she wasn't thinking about anything except the waves of pleasure wracking her body and the blinking dots on the back of her eyelids. And Daryl's hard cock pulsating inside her, sliding in and out and pricking that same release button somewhere inside her over and over and over until her legs were literally shaking and she didn't think there was anything left to be released.
"Shit – I'm gonna…"
Beth opened her eyes to see Daryl shutting his and gritting his teeth, getting one last, intentful thrust into her before pulling himself out quickly and reaching down with one hand to grab his twitching, squirting cock and aim it away from her entrance. He ended up turning away just enough to make it onto her upper thigh, but she didn't care because she was still surfing the aftershock waves of her orgasm. Seeing him finishing himself off onto her body was another one of those things that she'd always thought would be gross, but in this moment, it was probably one of the sexiest things she'd ever witnessed… And it almost made her want to immediately go for round two.
She watched with pleasure as Daryl grabbed his own cock and gave it a few last strokes, the large muscles in his bicep tensing up and flexing while his head tilted back and a quiet moan of pleasure escaped his parted lips. His shaggy hair fell back and away from his face and Beth watched as the orgasm washed over him. She realized just how muscular he actually was when his whole body tensed up and she could see nearly every muscle in his abdomen, chest, and arms flexing for just a moment. It was enough to make her wet all over again. And she had a front-seat view with the best possible angle.
It was an image worth storing away in her mind for later. Possibly forever.
to be continued…
A/N: The poem quote is taken from Rumi. Obviously I don't take any credit.
I decided to post this chapter early just because I've been drinking wine and writing the next 2-3 chapters and I figured, why not. It's pretty much filler and fluff anyway, so there ya go. I hope you liked it nonetheless, I put very consistent effort into every single sentence of this fic, though. So if you notice any inconsistencies or inaccuracies while reading, please bring them to my attention :) As always, thanks to everyone who's been reading and/or reviewing! Next chapter will be posted on 5/6. And I promise, it won't be filler... or fluff.
P.S.: Huuuuge shoutout to GracieMae11 and arrowsandangels because they deserve most of the credit for me posting this chapter so early. Their reviews and enthusiasm for this fic helps keep up my own enthusiasm, and they inspire me all the time. Also, if you like Gleggie, go check out arrowsandangels's new AU set in the 1950s called Step Out of Time.