The next morning, David didn't have to be pried, bribed, cajoled, or otherwise coaxed out of his room. He simply took a hot shower in the upstairs bathroom his brothers had so generously given him exclusive use of, wished he had some clean clothes to put on, changed back into his pajamas, and settled on the couch in the living room while Mike made breakfast.
The couch was not in the same spot in the living room as it had been two days earlier. It had presumably been shoved against the wall by Leonardo - possibly single-handedly, David thought, considering his brothers' physiques - who was now using the empty space in the middle of the floor to move slowly through a series of unusual postures. David had never seen anybody stand in any of those poses, but Leonardo was doing it with an intense focus that suggested that something about these stances was extremely important to him.
Raphael, meanwhile, was showering in the downstairs bathroom, and unfortunately for everyone, he was singing.
"La-da-deeee, la-da-diiii, la-da- AI-YOW!"
Leonardo came slowly to a halt, freezing his pose and moving nothing but his head as he turned to look at the bathroom door. Nobody was looking at David, but he kept a perfectly straight face.
He heard the spray turn off with a thunk of the water hammer in the old pipes, and then Raphael came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel around his middle.
"Leo, the hot water's out," he complained.
"Then fix it," Leonardo said calmly.
"But that'll take all day!" Raphael objected.
"Then don't fix it," Leonardo replied, equally calmly.
"How'm I supposed to take a shower?" Raph demanded.
"Turn on water, stand underneath," Leo advised.
"But it's cold!" Raph shouted, flinging one arm towards the bathroom door, as though Leo hadn't understood the problem the first time. "Are you gonna take a cold shower? I know you're not going to not shower."
Mike popped out of the kitchen, waggling his brows. "Somebody need a stove bath? I found this huge tub in the barn."
"What barn?" David asked, at the possible risk of blowing his cover.
"Bro," Mike said, "you gotta spend more time exploring this place." And with no further comment, he ducked back into the kitchen.
"I'm not takin' a stove bath!" Raph hollered after him.
"Sounds like you're running out of options," Leo said, in faint amusement, and pivoting smoothly to face front again, he resumed his mysterious activity.
Raphael said things in Japanese that were probably bad words, and disappeared in the direction of the basement, the towel still wrapped around his waist.
"How was your shower?" Leonardo asked.
"Delightful, thank you," David replied, with nothing but innocence in his voice.
"Breakfast!" Mike yelled a minute later.
David got up and sauntered into the kitchen. Mike was putting big bowls of lumpy something on the table.
"What is this?" David asked, eying the offering suspiciously. There seemed to be lots more of it bubbling in a big pot on the stove.
"Oatmeal," Mike said, and poked a spoon into David's hand.
"I don't think so," David said, making no move to point the spoon towards the contents of the bowl. "Oatmeal is thin watery stuff that comes out of a paper packet."
Mike looked at him, appalled. "Uh, no."
"Uh, yes," David said. "I've eaten it."
Mike just shook his head, taking his seat and picking up his bowl with two hands, apparently planning to slurp the gloppy stuff straight out of the dish. "You may have eaten it," he said, "but it isn't food."
David looked at Leo imploringly, but Leo only shrugged and lifted his own bowl. "We have strong disagreements about pizza toppings," he said, inclining his head towards Michelangelo, "and some of the things he calls snacks are truly disgusting. But if Mike cooks it, it's food." He tilted his bowl towards David in a kind of salute, then poured the contents into his mouth.
"I can't even watch this," David said, and then Raphael provided a welcome distraction.
"Damn thing's a fossil," he said, coming into the kitchen naked and covered in dirt, using the towel to wipe at the worst of the smudges. "I'm not dealing with it. I'll haul the tub in later. What'sa matter with you?" he said, dropping into his chair and gesturing to David's untouched bowl. "You eat already again? Or stuff served in bowls gives you a headache? What?"
"That's enough," Leo said quietly. "David, help yourself to something else."
"I left the non-sugary cereal in my room," David said. "I'll just go get it. Unless you're not going to let me leave the table again?"
Leo waved him off, as Raphael fell on his food like a starving person.
"Did you get him?" Leo was saying quietly, when David came back with the box of bran flakes hanging from one hand. He hesitated, and decided to see if he could get away with listening from the shadow of the doorway. "Is he here?"
"Yeah," Raph said. "Took a while, though. I suck at this, Leo. You sure you want me in there with you?"
"I don't know if I can make contact with him," Leo said. "Anyway, there should be three of us, and Mike can't."
"Yeah, bro," Mike said. "You don't want to trade jobs with me."
Raph grunted. "Is that stuff really gonna work?"
"Guaranteed," Mike said. "I've never had a recipe fail."
"Hold on," Leo said. "There was that time you gave me -"
"Uh-uh, no fair," Mike interrupted. "My recipe was fine. I told you not to drink that tea with it. Which reminds me, you all gotta detox before you do this."
David chose that moment to make his re-entrance. All three of his brothers turned towards him instantly, possibly realizing that he may have overheard something they hadn't wanted him to.
"So, D," Mike said. "How long did you say you could go without eating?"
"A couple of hours," David said guardedly, setting the cereal box on the counter.
Mike nodded. "Okay. Okay. And how long can you go without eating, for example, garlic?"
David narrowed his eyes. "Is there a reason for this line of questioning? Please tell me you don't put garlic in your oatmeal."
"Uh, no," Mike said. "Hey, can I see your box of cereal? Does it have one of those games on the back?"
"It doesn't," David said, but he gave Mike the box anyway, and watched as Mike none-too-subtly studied the nutrition facts on the side panel.
"Okay, this is food," Mike announced, after a long minute during which Raph and Leo pretended that nothing suspicious was going on. He held out the box to David. "You can eat it. I give you permission."
"Thanks," David said flatly, and took the box back with one hand while reaching for a clean bowl with the other. "I know you guys are plotting something," he said. "What are we doing today that I don't have to leave the house for?"
His brothers exchanged a look.
"We'll tell you everything tonight," Leonardo said. "In the meantime, don't eat anything Michelangelo doesn't give you permission for." He turned to Raphael with a sharp look. "That means you too."
"Yeah, yeah," Raph grumbled. "Can I eat this?" he asked, shaking his bowl at Mikey.
"Yep," Mike said.
"Can I eat that?" Raph asked, pointing at David's bowl of cooling oatmeal.
"Sure."
"I got no problem with this," Raph said.
"So glad to hear it," Leo said.
They all returned to their own breakfasts, and no one would give David any more information.
After a dinner of plain rice and vegetables, Leonardo herded everyone into the living room, and didn't permit anyone but himself to ask any questions.
"David," he began, "have you ever meditated?"
"No," David said. "Meditation is for hippies and monks in Tibet."
Leonardo looked affronted. "Meditation is for everyone. It increases situational awareness, self-control, and mental clarity."
"That's great," David said. "Can you get to the point?"
"This is the point," Leo said. "We're going to meditate tonight. Not just meditate - go on a spirit quest."
"A spirit quest," David repeated flatly. "Sweat lodge and peyote spirit quest?"
"I don't know what those are," Leo said.
"Dropping acid spirit quest?" David asked.
Leo was quickly losing his patience with having lost control of the conversation. So much for the benefits of meditation, David thought. "A spirit quest is a sacred journey on the astral plane," Leo said. "It's achieved through supreme enlightenment, and leads to realization of a personal goal that can't be reached by earthly methods."
David looked at the grandfather clock in the corner, though it was just for show, since the clock was broken and had been displaying the same time since they'd arrived three days ago. "I don't know about you, Leo, but I haven't achieved supreme enlightenment yet, and I don't think I have time right now."
"You can also get to the astral plane by using drugs," Leo muttered through gritted teeth.
David regarded him. "Excuse me?"
"Don't call them drugs," said Michelangelo, who'd been silent up till now. "They're herbal medicines." He looked at David. "That's the second thing I was making - a recipe that helps free the spirit and send it to the astral plane."
"Aside from that sounding outrageously dangerous even in the normal course of things," David said, "maybe you still haven't gotten the memo that I have a screwed-up metabolic system that reacts unpredictably even to mild, well-tested, over-the-counter medications."
"You're a Turtle," Leonardo said. "Trust us, we know all about how human drugs don't always play well with our systems."
"I don't think you do," David said, getting up from the couch. He was taller than his brothers, and he was going to use that height advantage now, for whatever intimidation value it might give him. "Diabetes. Is a metabolic malfunction. That you do not have or understand. Whatever chemical substances do to you, I guarantee they don't do the same thing to me."
"Bro." Mike had gotten up from the floor to put a hand on David's arm. "You gotta remember, Master Splinter has a system that's different from everybody else's too. He figured out what worked for him. He figured out what worked for us. He's an herbal medicine genius, and he taught me everything I know."
"That doesn't make you an herbal medicine genius," David pointed out.
"Hey." Now Raph was on his feet too. "Don't dis Mike's genius. He ain't got a lot, but he's damn smart about this. He invented stuff Master Splinter didn't teach him, and it worked. So just shut your mouth until Mikey tells you to stick one of those medicine balls in it."
David glared at them all, then sat down, deciding to gather more intel before mounting another attack. "What's this spirit quest about, anyway?" he asked. "What are we supposed to be doing on this so-called astral plane?"
Leo watched him for a minute, and then, with a subtle hand signal to his brothers, they all sat down again. "Raphael, explain."
Raph's anger dissipated quickly, and he knit his fingers together, hunching forward and looking at the floor as he spoke. "You, uh… you remember my friend Donatello?"
David thought for a minute before the name registered. "Your old friend who I reminded you of?"
"Yeah," Raph said. "We, uh…" He paused, and then the words came out in a rush. "When I said you're him, we talked about it, and we think you're actually him."
"That makes no sense," David said flatly. "It might make sense if Splinter got rid of me when I was older and you had a repressed memory of growing up with me, but we've already pretty well established that I got dumped when none of us were old enough to remember anything."
"Would you shut up and listen?" Raphael roared. "Damn, Leo, you say I argue a lot when you try to talk. Aren't you glad we didn't grow up with this guy?"
"Just tell the story, Raph," Leo said coolly.
Raph took a moment to calm himself, then addressed the floor again. "Donnie was this kid," he said, "Turtle kid, who was always there, only nobody else could ever see him. When we were little, we played together. Then he helped me with lessons, cuz I'm an idiot, and I helped him with ninjutsu, cuz he had sucky coordination. He… he always told me I was a good teacher and a good student. He was really good at lying to be nice that way.
"But then he got kinda mean, always telling me I was dumb and not worth anything. And he didn't want my help anymore. He was just always training by himself. He got a masakari - a damn scary weapon, kinda like an ax," Raph added, for David's benefit, "and he didn't read books or play games no more.
"And then, I dunno, maybe two or three years ago, he stopped talking to me at all. Always just hangin' out in corners, glaring at people. Don't do anything but glare and sharpen his ax. Think he's gonna kill me in my sleep one of these days," he muttered, and stopped there.
"And why do you think this has anything to do with me?" David asked, when no one else seemed inclined to fill the silence.
"Cuz it makes sense," Raph said, and before David could explain to them how it made no sense, Raph nudged Mike in the arm. "You tell him."
"Okay." Mike held up his hands to illustrate the points he was about to make. "We said, well, we've always had this really strong spiritual connection. And what if that's not just because we grew up together and trained together and did everything together? What if it's really something about us? And if it is, then you should have a spiritual connection to us too." He circled his hands, encompassing the four of them. "And then we said, what if you did? What if you left behind a spirit-shadow of yourself, to stay connected to us? Only you were just a baby when you made the shadow, and a really sick baby, so the shadow was weak and only Raph could see it. And then, we're not sure why, the shadow lost its connection to you." Mike moved his hands apart, one fading down to his side, and the other remaining with a lone finger in the air. "So now it's just this orphaned spirit-shadow, and it's kind of gone crazy and evil from not being anchored to anything in the real world. And you're mean and angry and getting sicker because you've lost part of your soul." He lifted both hands in an imploring gesture. "You need Donatello back, bro. And he needs you. You're two halves of the same person."
David crossed his arms, nearly the opposite of an illustrative gesture. "That is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard."
"That is what you said yesterday about being able to hold your breath," Leonardo pointed out.
David sighed. "Yes, okay. But that was biologically ludicrous. This is - I mean, astral planes? Lost soul fragments? Those are things that don't exist at all."
"He exists," Raphael said flatly. "He's glaring at us all right now."
David's head jerked up. "What?"
Raphael pointed towards an empty corner of the room. "I've only ever seen him at home. When we moved, I didn't see him for a little while, and then he showed up. He followed us. We needed him to follow us here faster, so I meditated, trying to call him. I got him yesterday. He's standing right there."
"You are out of your mind," David said, though he was feeling less and less sure of that every minute.
"We'll find out," Leonardo said. "You and Raphael and I are going to try to make contact with Donatello on the astral plane. Michelangelo will stay out here to guard our bodies and keep an eye on the medicines. If we're right, and we're successful, you'll be able to re-integrate with the missing piece of your spirit. We think it will do you a lot of good."
"And if you're wrong or we fail?" David asked.
"Michelangelo swears we'll wake up feeling as though we had a pleasant nap with some strange dreams," Leonardo said with a straight face.
"You can't think I'm going to agree to this," David said.
"Once again," Leonardo said, "we're not giving you a choice."
"I've changed my mind again," David said. "You are trying to kill me."
Leonardo reached up to press David's hand where it rested on his knee. "David," he said, "anyone who wants to kill you is going to have to go through us first. We are the only ones who can show you who you really are. If we're right, you're already half-dead, and we're the only ones who can save your life."
"Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?" David asked.
"Yes." Leo sat back on his knees and, from somewhere in his belt, produced the purple mask he had first given to David weeks ago. "You're not supposed to wear this doji until you've reached third dan, but we decided to make you an honorary genin because you're sick."
David stared at him. "I have no idea what you just said."
"That makes us about even." Leo stretched the strip of fabric across his upturned palms, and offered it forward. "Please wear it. If you had grown up with us, it would have been yours."
"Only because you make this sound so reasonable by contrast," David said, and with Raphael murmuring instructions for how to tie the knot correctly, he fixed the mask around his eyes.
When he looked up again, Leonardo was gazing at him fondly, his face tinged just slightly purple from the carefully-hemmed edges of the fabric. "Otouto," he murmured.
"If you are going to drug me," David said, "you had better do it before I recover my sanity."