"I am everything that I am," David said, as they stood in the shaft of sunlight. "Donatello is everything that I am not. But also some things that I am."
"Say what?" said Raph, even though Leo thought he understood.
"Donatello has all the traits of myself that I've rejected," David explained again. "But now that we have a little bit of a connection, he also has access to some of the traits I've kept. I think we're going to see more of that as we keep travelling."
Raph frowned, trying to piece the logic together. "But he used to be able to talk. I'm betting you never rejected that."
"No," David said. "But we used to have a connection, and that was one of the traits he had access to. Then when the connection got broken, he lost it."
"So Donnie used to be mostly you," Raph said, "and then he became more and more the things you hate about yourself, and then he became less and less the things you like about yourself, until he was just a big dumb jerk."
"Sounds about right," David agreed.
"But Donnie used to be a real nice guy," Raph said, "and it doesn't seem like that's something you decided to keep. So where'd that go?"
David looked thoughtfully at the floor.
"It's repressed," Leo said. "Donatello isn't able to embody all the things David has rejected about himself at the same time."
"Then he can't reabsorb it all?" Raph said.
"I think he can," Leo said. "We don't express all the aspects of our personality at the same time. We shift between them. Donatello is doing that too, but in a different way. As David reabsorbs pieces of him, he'll be able to use those aspects when he wants to."
"So what pieces did you reabsorb?" Raph asked David. "What was that just now?"
"I reabsorbed being able to swim," David said, and at Leo's questioning look he pressed a hand to his chest. "I can feel it when I breathe. And then from the second Donatello, I absorbed…" He hesitated. "I'm not sure what to call it. Intuition, maybe."
Leo made a subtle sign to stop Raph from asking another question, and waited for David to go on.
"I value logic," David said. "I always want to make rational decisions. I don't believe any of this stuff about meditation and souls and herbal medicine. But this aspect of Donatello… all he had was feelings. He trusted his sense of what was safe or dangerous, real or unreal. That's… something I want to be more open to."
"And that made your hair fall out?" Raph said.
David leaned away before Raph could poke at his scalp. "Like I said, a weird metaphor. I've always wanted hair. My mom doesn't let me play with hers. But I guess my spirit guise is telling me I think this is more important."
"It, uh… it looks good," Raph said.
David was obviously bummed about it, though, so Leo changed the subject. "How is your connection with Donatello now?" he asked. "Do you know where he went?"
David shook his head. "I understood a lot, and then it was like he blocked me out. He didn't tell me where he was going."
"Do you think you could use your intuition to figure it out?" Leo asked gently.
David rubbed at his arm. "Maybe. I'm going to look around."
"How are you doing?" Leo asked Raph, as David walked away to explore the cavern.
"Eh." Raph kicked at the ground. "It's a lot to get your head around, y'know?"
Leo waited.
"I dunno if I'm losin' Donnie, or gettin' him back," Raph blurted. He looked at Leo with a kind of desperation that was rare in him. "You don't know, Leo. He was my best friend. Am I finally getting the brother I was always supposed to have?" His eyes ticked back and forth across Leo's face, reading the hurt Leo couldn't disguise. "Sorry," he said quietly. "It's - I was saying how I was glad we didn't grow up with David. But if he was supposed to be like Donnie… I think we all missed out on something."
"It's all right." Leo was silent a moment before saying, "I keep feeling like I should have known. That I should have picked up on some clue from Master Splinter, or just sensed there were supposed to be four of us." He looked at Raph, watching for his trust. "I keep feeling like I let him down."
"Leo," Raph said, "we don't leave nobody behind. When the Dragons were arguing about who they should sell me to, I didn't doubt for a second you were gonna come. We -"
"Wait, what?" Leo said.
Raph blinked at him, thrown off by the interruption. "What what?"
"The Dragons were going to sell you?"
"Uh, yeah," said Raph, who obviously had wanted to talk about something else. "Just - I dunno. Nobody was talking about dissecting."
Leo rubbed the ridge between his eyes. "Raph," he said, "I don't know if we should go home."
This time, Raph was too stunned to say anything.
"Am I losing my mind?" Leo asked. "How many things has Master Splinter lied to us about?"
"Don't blame this one on him," Raph said. "Who wouldn't expect people to want to dissect us?"
"But he did know about David," Leo said. "Why didn't he tell us? I asked him, and he said because it wouldn't have helped us to know. But what would it have hurt?"
"Uh, because we woulda gone out looking for him," Raph said. "And who knows how that would've ended." At Leo's despondent look, he said, "Leo, y'ain't wrong. We all got a lot to think about. If you want to stay at the farm for a while, I'm actually not gonna argue with you for once."
Leo nodded, and said nothing further as David rejoined them.
"I found something," he said.
It was a hatch in the floor, and Leo was certain it had not been there when they had come in.
"I think we should go this way," David said.
Leo lifted the hatch, and they looked down into the hole.
"What is that?" David asked.
"Looks like a sewer," Raph said.
"That's what a sewer looks like?" David stared down the ladder in fascination, then looked at Raph. "How do you know what a sewer looks like?"
"We live in one," Leo said.
"Oh my god," David said. "Please tell me you're joking." He held up a hand. "I mean, I know you mutated in a sewer, and I know that for some reason, hanging a Batman symbol down a storm drain gets your attention, but please tell me you do not actually live in a sewer."
"We actually live in a sewer," Leonardo repeated. "We told you. We used to live in an abandoned subway station, and now we live in a… well, we don't know what it is, exactly. But basically, we live in a sewer." He pointed down the shaft. "This is how we get around the city without people screaming and printing stories about lizard men in the newspaper."
David's face fell. "I - I'm really sorry," he said. He looked at his brothers, almost as if seeing them for the first time. "In some ways, I've been really lucky, haven't I?"
"In some ways, yes. But -" Leo smiled reassuringly. "Don't feel bad for us, David. Believe it or not, there are things about living in a sewer I would never give up." He gestured to the metal rungs set into the concrete wall. "After you."
David managed the ladder on his own, and then Leo and Raph jumped down behind him, letting the hatch swing shut. The tunnel was lit by fluorescent tubes, and both directions looked equally good.
"Which way?" Leo asked.
"I don't know," David said.
Raph was looking at the pipes overhead. "I know where this is," he said.
"What?" Leo looked up, but all he saw was a jumble of water mains and electrical conduits. "How can you know where this is?"
"Where do you think I go all the time?" Raph said. "I follow the pipes. I know the street grid, I know the subway map, and I know the utility lines. New York is my city. Give me a point A and a point B, and I'll tell you how the sewage gets there."
"Okay," said Leo, who didn't want to think about that proposal too carefully, "but where are we?"
"Not far from a place I used to hang out," Raph said. "It was like my own private Lair. Maybe Donnie's using it now."
Leo gestured down the tunnel. Raph had succeeded with Donatello twice now; maybe he could do it a third time. "Lead the way."
"I'm a little worried," David said as they walked, and knowing his brother was keyed into his intuition right now, Leonardo paid close attention. "Why did he shut me out? I have a feeling we're going to encounter one of Donatello's less friendly aspects."
"You think it's the one I know?" Raph asked. "I told you guys, he has a masakari and he knows how to use it. I don't want to mess with that guy."
"We won't fight him if we don't have to," Leo said. "We just want David to have a chance to meet him."
"Do we?" David asked. "I don't know why my soul has an ax-murdering aspect, but I don't want it."
"This is your journey," Leonardo said again. "Anything you encounter here is for a reason. There must be something you need to learn from this embodiment of Donatello."
"Well, we're here," Raph said, gesturing to an archway covered with a makeshift curtain of black plastic bags. "Are we going in?"
David took a deep breath. "We're going in."
"Be on your guard," Leo said, and after waiting for the answering signal from Raph, he pushed into the chamber beyond.
This Donatello, at least, was easy to find. He was sitting on an old packing crate, next to a fire pit, and the light was flickering off a wickedly sharp ax that rested between his knees. He watched them with fierce red eyes as they entered.
David moved along the wall a little distance, following his brothers, picking his way over the garbage strewn across the room. When he had gotten clear of the door, he turned towards Donatello. "Hi," he said, and held up his hand, palm out.
Donatello smiled, a deadly curve that mirrored his ax. "Should not have come," he rasped, in a voice as rusty from disuse as the battered hot water heater in the corner.
"That isn't what you told me before," David replied. "You said you had more to show me."
"He said." Donatello cast his gaze at something Leonardo could not see, a move that set him immediately on edge. "Not me anymore."
"No," David said. "Me, now. Maybe soon, us. But now -"
Faster than sight, Donatello scooped up something from the floor and flung it at David.
"Get down!" Leo spun David against the wall, covering him with his shell, as the kunai buried its tip in the brickwork next to his head. Leo continued his pivot, letting go of David's shoulders and drawing his swords as he came back around to face Donatello. Raph had already moved to guard them both, bringing his sai up to catch the swing of Donatello's ax.
"Don't hurt him!" Leo shouted, even though that seemed like it might be the least of their worries. "Subdue only!"
Leo hadn't realized until Donatello stood up how big he was. He wasn't muscular like Raph's spirit guise, but he was tall, with strength to match. He was bringing his masakari down through Raph's block with inexorable force.
Leo attacked low, sweeping Donatello's legs from under him. What Donatello had in strength, he lacked in agility, and he went down hard. Raph was on him immediately, using grappling tactics to keep him on the ground.
But he was no match for Donatello's size. Even at a positioning disadvantage, Donatello was able to throw Raph to the floor, landing a hard stomp to his plastron as he got back to his feet.
Leo engaged again, aiming to disarm Donatello. A masakari could kill in one blow, especially when wielded by someone so powerful. But Donatello's grip was true, and Leonardo barely dodged his countering strike.
"Holy crap." Raph had recovered from the throw and was looking for an opening. "How do we put this guy down?"
"Leo -"
"David, stay back," Leo ordered. "Let us handle this." He launched himself at Donatello again, aiming to get him in a lock. Raph attacked on the other side, tying up Donatello's defenses and preventing him from countering. With a roar, Donatello grabbed Leo by the neck and flung him against a wall, at the same time knocking Raph into the other wall with a crushing backhand.
Leo rolled to his feet to see David wading through the piles of detritus, apparently intent on engaging his spirit double. "David, no!" He scrambled to reach his brother, but he wasn't going to get there in time.
"Guys, I've got this!" David shouted. "I understand!"
Donatello aimed to cleave his head right down the middle.
The ax stopped in midair, as a dome of shimmering light rose up around David.
"You are going to put that down," David said, and the masakari clattered to the floor.
The dome folded over itself, enveloping Donatello instead of David. It shrank, forcing Donatello to his knees, as David walked forward.
"Why?" Donatello rasped.
"Because that is mine," David said. "And you are going to give it to me."
Donatello bowed his head, and shrank away to nothing. The glowing dome that had covered him popped like a bubble, and the sparks faded, leaving only the fire.
When Leo's vision cleared, David was standing square, his arms smoothly muscled, almost like Leo's own.
"Are you coming?" David asked.
"Coming where?" Leo asked. He realized his swords were still in his hands, and sheathed them.
"It's a long trip," David said. "Let's do that astral travel thing again."