CAUTION: Contains (minor) spoilers for Star Trek: Picard.

A/N: Ever since I saw that episode, I have wanted to write something about it and, because it's me, that something ended up being Icheb/Naomi. The song 'There's A Long Long Trail' came on while I was writing this so I have included the lyrics at the end as it seemed to fit. Anyways, hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

First & Forever

She knew.

Once a full day had passed since his usual time to call, she knew that something terrible had happened. All the times in the past when something had prevented him from making contact, he had still found a way to send her a short couple of lines.

This time there was nothing.

She knew.

But that didn't make the pain any easier to bear when the confirmation finally came through from his captain.

It wasn't just something terrible, it was the worst.

He was dead.

The boy who had been her childhood companion, the man who she had loved and the husband who had fathered her children. He had been in her life for almost as long as she could remember and she had no idea how she was going to face the rest of her life without him.

He had been her anchor and, now, she would have to find a new way to ground herself.

She roused herself as the console in front of her started to blink, indicating a new message. Absently wiping away a tear, she accepted the call.

"Seven," she greeted the other woman with a ghost of a smile, relieved to see someone who might have some inkling of how lost she felt. Someone who would share her pain.

Seven gave her a wane smile, "Naomi, I'm sorry not to be contacting you under better circumstances."

"I'm glad you called," Naomi assured her, "I wanted to thank you for all your efforts to save Icheb," she paused to take a steadying breath, "his captain told me you were with him - I'm glad he wasn't alone."

Seven looked uncomfortable, "Naomi, he…Icheb didn't die from his wounds."

"What?"

"By the time I got to him the damage those butchers had caused in removing his implants was too severe," Seven took a deep breath, "he…he begged me to put an end to his suffering." Seven closed her eyes against the memory, "He died in my arms…by my hand," she confessed, opening her eyes and looking Naomi directly in the eye.

Naomi sat back, unsure how to process this information. She had been aware that he suffered, but without any idea as to the extent and she had no idea how to respond to Seven's confession.

"I am not asking for your forgiveness for my actions," Seven told her, slipping into some of her former impassivity, "I am unsure whether I will ever forgive myself. But as someone who loved – who loves him, I thought you deserved to know the truth."

"I honestly don't know how I feel about…what you did," Naomi said finally, attempting to keep her voice steady, "but he loved you, very much. You were to all intents and purposes his mother and I…I don't want to lose you too." She paused, "I need my family with me," she added as her eyes filled with tears.

"I will be back for the memorial service and I will stay with you for as long as you need," Seven assured her in a low tone. "You were such an integral part of his existence, I believe that loving you was one of the mainstays of his individuality. He loved his career in Starfleet," she continued, "but it was you and the children who gave his life meaning."

Naomi let out a choked sob and covered her face with her hands, "I just want him back," she wailed, "there's so much I never told him."

"He knew that you loved him," Seven told her firmly, "that was enough."

Naomi sniffed and looked up at the screen, "Thank you," she whispered.

"I will find who did this, Naomi," Seven promised after a moment, leaning closer to the screen, "and I will avenge him."

"I should probably tell you that revenge isn't the answer," Naomi began after a long moment, "but right now, I don't care. Just…take care of yourself, I don't want to lose anyone else."

Seven inclined her head, "I'll be careful," she promised, before looking at something off to the side, "I have to go," she said with a touch of regret, "but I'll see you soon. Take care."

"You too," Naomi responded as they closed off the connection.

Plunged back into darkness, Naomi sat back and regarded the console for a long moment. Feeling sufficiently bolstered by her conversation with Seven, she steeled herself and opened the message that she had been avoiding for the better part of a week.

She sucked in a pained breath as Icheb's face filled the screen, she closed her eyes as he began to speak.

"I have recorded so many messages for you of a similar vein that you would think I'd know what to say by now. But the thought of you having to receive this message, of my not being there for you when you most need me…it makes it impossible to know what to say. You have been a part of my life for so long that it seems impossible that we should ever have to part. You were the little girl who asked too many questions, but whose unhesitating acceptance of my presence on Voyager did so much to help me adjust to life as an individual. Then you became the incredible woman who stole my heart and gave me the family I never thought I would have. I can never repay you for all that you have done for me, but I hope you know that I am exceedingly grateful for the life and the love you have given me. So…if I have to leave you then…Naomi…my love…remember that I love you: first and forever."

The message ended as he pressed his fingers to his lips and then to the screen. Naomi reached out with a shaking hand to touch the tips of his fingers and then to gently trace the edge of his face.

"First and forever," she whispered through her tears as the screen went black and she withdrew her hand.

…

Nights are growing lonely,
Days are very long;
I'm a-growing weary
Only list'ning for your song.
Old remembrances are thronging
Thro' my memory,
Thronging till it seems
The world is full of dreams,
Just to call you back to me.

There's a long, long trail a-winding
Into the land of my dreams,
Where nightingales are singing
And a white moon beams:
There's a long, long night of waiting
Until my dreams all come true;
Till the day when I'll be going down
That long, long trail with you.

...

A/N: My head canon is that Icheb & Naomi have three children - Remi, Sabrina and Annika - and he included separate messages for each of them which is why they're not mentioned in his message to Naomi. Also, he started recording 'farewell' messages to her on Voyager.