You guys are awesome! Thanks again for your continued support and all the amazing reviews!
In this chapter, I tried to keep the boring details out, as I don't want this story to turn into law stuff. Also, I'd like to point out to the fact that I don't have any kind of law background, just Google to do some basic research.
If you wonder why this chapter had been uploaded twice - I found a mistake after posting it the first time and wanted to fix it as I just couldn't look at it :)
The next chapter will PROBABLY be the last one, so the story is coming to an end.
Enjoy reading.
It took him a moment to realize he'd been outside when he came to his senses. Steve opened his eyes and found himself on the beach behind his house, his head on Danny's shoulder. He noticed his partner was fighting to keep his eyes open.
He straightened himself, massaging his sore neck with one hand.
"Did I fall asleep?"
"Yeah," Danny said. "But I'm glad you did. You needed some sleep."
"What time is it?"
"You've got some time before heading to shower and getting ready."
Steve swallowed a lump in his throat. So it wasn't a dream. What laid ahead of him today was real. He locked his gaze on the ocean, the first rays of sunshine reflecting on the calm water. He just sat there for a minute and took in the beauty of it.
"Danny, promise me something," Steve turned to his friend after a while.
Danny shook his head, clenching his jaw.
"No," he said. "I won't do that."
"I didn't even tell you what it is."
"You didn't have to," Danny objected, meeting Steve's eyes. "I know what you wanted to say and the answer is no. I won't take care of Catherine and your child. Don't get me wrong, I'll be the best uncle in the world, but you'll know that because you'll be around to see it."
"Danny…"
"Would you stop? Please?" Danny barked. "If you don't want to fight for yourself, do it for them. Have you thought about your family? That child is gonna need a father. Catherine's gonna need you. And Mary and Joan? You're their only family, Steve, they can't lose you. And what about Grace and Charlie? What about me? Have you thought about it?"
"I've been thinking about nothing else," Steve admitted, fighting the tears that rushed into his eyes.
"Steve, you can't change what had happened. It wasn't your fault, you've been brainwashed for God's sake! It could have happened to anyone. So you'll go there and allow the defense counsel to do their job and prove it."
Steve rested his elbows on his thighs, sinking his face into the palms of his hands. Expecting Danny's rant to continue, he braced himself for the shouting that was about to come. But none came and after a moment, Danny was still quiet. Steve lifted his head up, locking his eyes on the horizon.
"You know, I was never broken before," he murmured after a while, swallowing his pride. "I was trained to resist any kind of torture and hell I used to be able to do that no matter what."
Danny looked at him with compassion in his eyes, seemingly a little surprised to hear his friend open up. He didn't say a word.
"I wish I still could."
Danny was still quiet, listening. The only thing interrupting the silence between Steve's words was the rustling of the ocean.
"I messed up. An innocent man died because of it and it could have been thousands or even more. It's still haunting me, you know? What was at stake. What could have happened. All just because I got broken," Steve lowered his gaze. "And even though I didn't know I've done it, it still happened. And I deserve whatever punishment I'll get."
Steve had to force down the lump in his throat to keep going.
"I might never see my child, Danny."
"No," Danny shook his head, breaking his silence. "Don't think this way. You will and you'll be an amazing father. The kid's gonna be proud of you."
Steve blinked and a tear rushed down his cheek as he did so. He desperately wanted Danny to be right, but he knew he wasn't. After all he'd done, after all the pain he'd caused to the people he loved, after betraying his country and causing the death of an innocent man, albeit against his will, he didn't deserve the happiness. He silently cursed himself as another tear escaped his eye, streaming down his face. This wasn't himself. Steve McGarrett was supposed to be strong, to handle everything, not cry like a little child.
"I don't know when did I become so weak," he confessed, his chest heaving with a sob as he wiped the back of his hand across his face. "It's just that after all the pain in my life, I finally have what I've always wanted, but it'll be taken from me before I even have a chance to savor it."
"Hey, don't do this, all right?" Danny said, reaching for Steve's forearm and looking deep into his glossy eyes. "You will have plenty of time to savor it, okay? You'll wake up next to the woman you've always loved, in the middle of the night - several times a night, actually," Danny paused, forcing a smile. "But you won't mind. You'll be happy to do it cause she and that tiny human will give a bigger purpose to your life and you'll never be alone anymore."
Unsure whether Danny really believed it, Steve decided to remain silent, fighting to hold tears at bay. He just sat in the wooden chair, drawing the salty air into his lungs and listening to the waves crashing on the sandy beach, soaking it up as though it was for the last time. Because maybe it was.
They were quiet for a long time. Steve dozed a little too, but every time he'd opened his eyes, Danny was there, still awake, still keeping watch over him.
"I don't think you're weak, Steve," he said finally. "Scared isn't the same as weak."
Steve stood in the spacious hallway in silence, his head hung and gaze locked on the tilted floor. The palms of his hands were sweaty from constant meddling as he waited impatiently for the beginning of his hearing.
"I thought no one wears a tie in Hawaii," Danny teased, bringing Steve's mind into clarity.
Steve looked up and smiled, remembering the last time his blonde friend told him that. It was another trial, years ago. "And I've told you that I can't wear my dress blue without a tie."
"I forgot how good you look in it," Catherine said, holding his hand.
Steve returned a weak smile, then lowered his gaze. He didn't feel like he deserved to wear his uniform and ribbons anymore.
He looked back up and glanced over the man in a suit leaning his back against the wall, checking the time on his watch. It was Jason Thomas, his military counsel. And he seemed as nervous as Steve himself, probably thanks to Steve's decision to plead guilty.
Danny placed a hand on Steve's shoulder. "Tell me you're gonna do that," he murmured, his voice pleading.
Steve closed his eyes and released a long sigh, giving away the answer to Danny's question without the words.
"You didn't have control over what you've done back then," Danny said, his gaze burned into Steve's. "But it's up to you what you do now."
He didn't reply, thinking about Danny's words.
"Don't throw your life away, buddy," Danny pleaded. "If you plead guilty, you won't be the only one suffering the consequences and you know it."
"Danny's right," Catherine said with a pleading look in her eyes. "We need you, Steve."
Ignoring their arguments, Steve reached to Catherine's face, cupping her cheek, and pressed his lips against hers for a moment.
"I love you, Cath," he whispered, pulling away. "Thanks for coming back into my life."
Her eyes welled with tears and by her look, he could say she knew. She was certain there was nothing to say that could change his mind now.
"I love you too," she confessed, her voice broken, a tear rolling down her cheek.
Steve turned to Danny, who seemed to understand too. It was written all over his eyes.
"Steve, don't. Please," he begged, unable to accept Steve's decision.
"Come here," Steve said and pulled his partner into the tight embrace. "Love you, brother."
"Steve…" Danny's voice was pleading.
"Are you ready?" Jason asked, his hand ready on the handle of the door. "It's time."
Steve pulled away from the hug. His stomach was churning and a bout of dizziness washed over him. He was far from ready, but it wasn't like he had any say in it. He nodded, gave Danny and Catherine one more look, expressing the love through his eyes, and walked through the door leading into a small room with a table and four chairs in it.
He sat in one of three plastic chairs in a row next to Jason.
"You don't have to say anything," Jason reminded him. "And I highly suggest you don't."
"I'll speak for myself," Steve objected.
Jason sighed. "I hoped you would change your mind."
"I didn't."
Steve continued to sit there in silence, lost in his own thoughts until the door finally edged open. He and Jason stood up when the petite blonde woman in uniform and an older man in a black robe entered.
The dark-blonde woman was Malia Chavez, a trial counsel, who will prosecute a case on behalf of the government.
The military judge, Captain Morrissey, though in his late fifties, was compact and powerfully built and there was no trace of silver in his black hair.
"Good morning," Morrissey greeted and took his place on the other side of the table.
"Good morning, Sir," Steve and Jason said almost in unison.
The judge looked around and waited for all three of them to take their place, then began.
"This Article 39(a) session is called to order."
They lowered themselves to the chairs. Steve could feel his hands began to tremble. He curled them into the fists and held them in his lap in an attempt to hide it.
Malia took her notes and began to speak.
"The court-martial is convened by general court-martial convening orders, copies of which have been furnished to the military judge, counsel, and the accused, Steven McGarrett, who is present."
The judge waited for her to finish, then looked at Steve.
"Steven McGarrett. You have right to be represented by military counsel of your own selection. In addition, you have the right to be represented by a civilian counsel, who may represent you alone or along with your military counsel. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir."
"The accused will now be arraigned."
"All parties and the military judge have been furnished a copy of the charges and specifications," Malia announced. "Does the accused want them read?"
Jason turned to Steve, who hesitated for a moment, then nodded slightly.
"The accused wants the charges read," Jason replied.
"I'll now read the charges and the specifications. Please stand up," the judge ordered.
Steve did as told, drawing in a deep breath.
"Steven McGarrett, you are charged with the violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Charge one: Article 102, Forcing a safeguard. Specification: The accused intentionally abused the safeguarded property of the US Navy. Charge two: Article 104, Aiding the enemy. Specification: The accused had deliberately passed on intelligence information to the person intending to use it against the United States. The act of the accused would have resulted in causing immediate harm to the United States Military if unexpected circumstances had not intervened, preventing this from happening."
A sudden cold flooded Steve's body and he had to control himself to keep his breathing at normal speed. He'd never thought there would come a day he heard such charges against him and it made him feel physically sick. The words 'intentionally' and 'deliberately' made blood boil inside his veins.
"Charge three, Article 106a, Espionage," the judge continued. "Specification: The accused had intentionally committed the offense of espionage and shared with an enemy secrets related to the defense of the country."
None of it was a surprise for Steve. He'd read all this in the letter they've sent him three months ago, but standing in the room with the judge and actually hearing it was different. He could feel sweat running down his forehead and it took all he had not to break apart.
"Before proceeding further, I want to remind you of your right to remain silent. You don't have to say anything that may tend to incriminate you. Is that clear?" the judge asked.
"Yes, Sir."
"How do you want to plead to the charges?"
Here it was.
Steve's heart thudded in his chest. The image of Danny's pleading gaze and Catherine's announcement flashed on his mind.
It was the right thing to do. He repeated to himself, taking a deep breath. His honor didn't allow any other options, despite knowing what was at stake. Despite failing his ohana.
"I want to plead guilty, Sir."
"How do you want to plead to the specifications?"
"Guilty."
The judge creased his forehead and drew his brows, meeting Steve's gaze. There was a hint of surprise in his eyes. "You may sit down," he said and Steve followed the command.
"Your plea of guilty will not be accepted unless you understand its meaning and effect. I'm now going to discuss your plea of guilty with you. Do you understand?"
"I do."
"A plea of guilty is the strongest form of proof to the law. On your plea alone, without receiving any evidence, this court-martial could find you guilty of the offenses to which you are pleading guilty. If you plead guilty, there will not be a trial of any kind, as you give up your rights. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir."
The judge continued. "You have pleaded guilty to the specifications and the charges. By so doing, you've admitted every act or omission charged and every element of the offense."
Steve bowed his head and let the judge continue.
"Your plea subjects you to a finding of guilty without further proof and you may be sentenced by the court to the maximum punishment authorized by the offenses charged," the judge paused and looked deep into Steve's eyes. "The maximum punishment in your case may include life imprisonment or a death sentence."
Despite the heat, a cold shiver traveled down Steve's spine with the judge's words. He knew all of that. But his mind went back to his family. Especially Danny, who he'd consider a brother, who won't be able to forgive him for not fighting back. And to Catherine and their child. The child he might never see, let alone hold in his arms.
"You are legally entitled to plead not guilty," the judge reminded him. "And if you do so, this places a burden on the court. To prove that you're guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Do you understand the meaning and the effect of your plea of guilty?" he asked.
"Yes, Sir. I do," Steve didn't back off despite the turmoil inside.
"And even understanding this, do you persist in your plea of guilty?"
"Yes, Sir."
A grave silence filled the room for a few minutes, only the sound of a judge's pen on the paper was interrupting it. The judge stopped writing and looked at Steve again, releasing a long sigh when he was ready to speak up.
"After evaluation of the underlying facts of the case, I do not consider your plea of guilty being in your best interest," the judge announced, his eyes locked with Steve's. "Therefore it is not be accepted and this court-martial will convene with members on Monday the 9th at nine in the morning as scheduled."
"But, Sir…" Malia tried to object, her voice angry.
"My decision is final," the judge stood his ground. "Is that clear?"
Steve stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, Sir."
The judge scribbled something into his notes again and looked up at Steve. "It's my job to avoid coerced pleas," he said. "So if you're being forced to plead guilty…"
"No, Sir," Steve cut him off. "I can assure you it was my own decision."
"If you say so. But my decision stands."
"I understand."
"You're free to go," the judge said. "See you in two weeks. Come prepared."
Steve nodded, stood up, turned around and walked toward the doorway. A mix of emotions washed over him. But more than anything, he felt relieved.
He closed the door behind him and Jason and found himself staring into Catherine's and Danny's worried eyes.
"I can see you're still walking free," Danny noted with a sad smile on his face. "How did it go? Did you change your mind?"
"No, I didn't," Steve answered. "But the judge rejected my plea. He probably thinks I am being forced to plead guilty or something."
"He did what?" Danny couldn't believe.
"It doesn't happen often," Jason explained. "But in the military courts, it's a little different than felony courts. Sometimes if the judge decides the plea of guilty is not in the accused's best interest, he can reject it."
"I'm really glad he did that," Catherine said, her voice a little angry for Steve not trying to fight, but relieved at the same time.
Danny's face lit up and his lips curled into a genuine smile. "I love that guy," he said and wrapped his arm around Steve's shoulders. "I should buy him a bottle or a box of chocolates or something."
Catherine smiled at Danny's note and took out her phone. "You boys go ahead, I need to make one call," she said. "I'll be right behind you."
Steve noticed Danny exchanging a look with her, but he decided to let it slide and began walking.
His mind was on a whirl. Despite doing what he considered to be the right thing to do, he was still relieved the judge did what he did because it meant his life might not be over. There might be a chance for him after all. Chance to be free. A chance for him to see his child one day.
Danny seemed to notice Steve had zoned out as they walked side by side, Danny's arm still on Steve's shoulder.
"Hey," Danny said. "It'll be all right. Okay?"
"Okay," Steve replied, not entirely convinced.
"We'll get through this, I promise."
Steve nodded and his eyes met Danny's. "Thank you for being here, partner," he said. "It means a lot."
"You don't have to thank me for that."
"Yeah, I do," Steve objected.
"You'd do the same for me," Danny said. "You actually did the same for me. Remember the custody hearing seven years ago?"
"Sure."
"I might not get Grace into shared custody without your unacceptable behavior back then," Danny reminded him. "But the fact you were there for me when you didn't have to, that meant the world to me."
"I would do that again," Steve smiled with the memory.
"I know you would," Danny returned the smile. "But it's my turn."
Steve smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Despite the relief he felt for being given a chance for a fair hearing, it didn't change a thing about how he felt about himself. The guilt was still eating him alive. And he wasn't sure it will ever change.
"Come on, let's go home. We've got a lot of work to do. We better be prepared for the trial," Danny said, the change in his mood apparent.
"Okay. But there is somewhere I want to go first," Steve demanded.
"Okay. Where?"
"I'll tell you on the way."
Danny nodded, staring at his partner. Walking toward his Camaro he took the keys out of his pocket and held it in front of him for Steve. "What do you think? You feel like driving?"
Steve hesitated for a moment, then walked toward the passenger's seat without a word, leaving Danny behind, frowning.
Catherine caught them up in a minute as she promised, jumping into the back seat of the car. The drive was quiet, the only words spoken were Steve's instructions on the directions for Danny. When they reached their location, he sank into the seat, taking a deep breath.
"Where are we?" Danny asked, looking around in confusion.
A row of small but cozy-looking family houses lined up each side of a quiet street.
"I'll be right back," Steve announced, ignoring his friend's question and got out of the car, heading toward the doorway of the closest house.
He knocked on the door, his stomach churning and heart thudding against his ribs. No one answered. He knocked again and this time he could hear the steps coming toward the doorway and in a few seconds, he heard the key turning in the lock.
A young brunette emerged from the door, holding a hand of about four-years-old boy. Steve's heart shattered into pieces when he noticed a plastic battleship the boy was cradling in his free hand.
"Can I help you?" the woman asked.
Steve did his best to remain calm.
"Are you Mrs. Harris?"
"Yes, and you are?"
"Steve McGarrett," he introduced himself. "I won't keep you long. But there is something I need to say."
Mrs. Harris raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
"No, I don't think you do," Steve said. His eyes landed on the boy, whose wide green eyes were watching him intently. He looked back at his mother. "It's about your husband."
She stared at him for a few seconds, then turned to the boy. "Claus, can you wait for me in the room? I'll be right there."
But Claus didn't move and his eyes didn't shift from Steve's. Those soulful eyes that held pure innocence gazed upon him.
"Daddy has the same clothes," Claus announced. "He promised to take me to ship like this." He released his mother's hand and showed his toy to Steve.
Steve swallowed a lump in his throat, doubting his decision of coming there. But it was too late to back up now.
"Wow, that's an amazing ship. Is that from your dad?" he asked, forcing a smile.
Claus nodded without any words.
"You should take good care of it," Steve said, a fake smile still plastered on his face. "Why don't you make sure it is ready to sail while I talk to your mom?"
"Okay," Claus said and ran back into the house.
Mrs. Harris crossed her arms on her chest and her gaze burnt into Steve's. She waited for the boy to disappear before she spoke up. "Did you know my husband?" she asked.
"Not personally," Steve said. "But first of all, I'm here to tell you I'm sorry for your loss. Second of all, although I know it won't change anything, I came to say how sorry I am for being responsible for his death."
Her eyes widened and he could see the tears welling in her eyes. "You're what? What are you talking about?"
"I don't know how much you were told about the circumstances, but I had my share of the blame. And I had to come and apologize, although I'm not expecting the forgiveness."
"Leave, please," she demanded, barely holding tears at bay. "Now."
Steve didn't expect anything else. He nodded, lowering his gaze, and returned to the car without a word. Catherine's and Danny's gaze were locked on him, their jaws slightly opened.
"Are you completely out of your mind? Huh?" Danny barked, staring at him. "Why are you doing this to yourself? What did you expect?"
"Nothing," he murmured. "I just felt the need to at least say I'm sorry for what's my fault. That's the least I could do."
"Steve, I don't know if that was a good idea," Catherine backed Danny up. "I mean, not only because of you, that's obvious. But how would you react if you lost someone and a stranger would walk up to your door after four months and said something like that?"
He hasn't considered that. But it was something he felt was right, that this family deserved at least an apology.
"Let's go home," Steve proposed, avoiding the topic.
Danny glanced over him for a little longer, then turned his attention to the road and drove off in silence.
There was a lot going on in Danny's head. He didn't even hope for such an outcome of Steve's plea and despite his partner's grave mood, he was over the roof. There was no other option now, there was a trial about to come anyway. A fair chance for Steve to get his life back.
But on the way home, he couldn't get one thing out of his head.
"I'm going to the bed," Steve announced, lifting himself up from the couch and heading toward the stairway.
Danny waited for him to disappear upstairs and turned to Catherine, who was on her way into the kitchen.
"Hey," Danny said, grabbing Catherine's arm. "Can I have a word?"
"Sure."
Danny walked toward the front doorway and held it open for her, then he closed the door and leaned against it.
"What is it?" Catherine asked, drawing her brows in confusion.
"What are you doing?" Danny asked.
"I don't know what are you talking about," she answered.
Danny forced a fake smile and crossed his arms on his chest. "The call back at the court," he said. "You can't tell him you love him and then disappear again."
"Danny…"
"It would break him if you left now and you know it," he interrupted her before she had a chance to say anything. "So wanna tell me what was that about?"
"What?" she barked. "I'm not going anywhere!"
"You're not?"
"No," Catherine confirmed. "I wouldn't do that to him, Danny. Not again."
"So what about that secret call?" he asked, not entirely convinced. After all, it wouldn't be the first time she lied about staying.
Catherine sighed. "I called Michael," she said. "About the judge's decision."
"Michael Stevens, the lawyer?"
"Yeah."
Danny creased his forehead, confused. "I thought Steve didn't want him to work on his case."
"Steve doesn't know," she said. "But Michael has been working on it ever since I've asked him to. In case Steve would change his mind. He's got pretty solid base so far. The only thing needed is Steve's consent."
Danny felt ashamed of blaming her now. "Oh, I see," he mumbled. "I'm sorry, I just assumed you want to go MIA again."
"It's okay," Catherine accepted the apology. "I get it. You're just worried about him. You're a good friend, Danny."
He nodded, his gaze locking with hers. "So what are we gonna do now?"
"Michael will come here tomorrow morning," she said. "You think you can convince Steve to let him represent him? It could really help him."
"I'll try."
They were quiet for a moment, both thinking about the same thing.
"I can't lose him, Danny," Catherine spoke up, her eyes glossy. "We need to prove it wasn't really him who had done those things."
Danny wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a hug, releasing a long sigh. "I know," he whispered. "We won't lose him, okay?"
"All right," she murmured, her voice trembling.
"Hey, look at me," Danny said, pulling away, staring into her eyes. "We got through today, right? We'll make it through the trial too."
He wasn't sure whether he was trying to convince her or himself anymore. But until there was something to hold on, he wasn't about to give up. Steve got another chance today and they had to make sure to do whatever it takes to make it count.
*to be continued*
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