Courtroom 6, YeOldRoosterTeeth Justice Building, Jaunrrha Citadel, r/ArkosForever, Nation of Arkos
11 months after Ship Wars 4
"Bring the prisoner," said Judge Vaniellis, sitting at the bench and wearing a badly-fitting powdered wig. A long overdue trial was about to begin. In the back of the courtroom, a large crowd from many nations had gathered to watch.
Two guards, Burnside and Untitled, walked into the Greek-style marble-lined courtroom. They held a prisoner between them, dressed in a black jumpsuit with her hands cuffed. And a chain around her torso and arms for good measure.
"Isn't that a bit excessive?" asked a juror, pointing to the chain.
"It may look that way, Strawhat Erza," said Blue Whale King, the prosecuting attorney, "but you don't know what she's capable of."
"Just because she can, doesn't mean she did," said Strike Freedom D'Elise, the defense attorney.
"You were there!" Blue shot back. "You saw-"
"Order," said Judge Vaniellis, tapping his gavel on the podium. "We will get to that soon enough. First, we must introduce the defendant and the facts of the case to the jurors."
They all looked at the woman. She looked fairly ordinary, with pitch black hair falling just below the shoulders. Average height and build. One would have a difficult time picking her out in a crowd. Her one distinguishing feature was a tattoo on her collarbone, which the jail uniform half covered. It was a word, but thanks to the fabric one wouldn't be able to read it unless you already knew what it said.
She also had a smirk on her face. It seemed innocent at first, but anyone who looked her in the eye got a deep sense of unease.
"For those of you who don't already know," said Vaniellis, "this is Jennifer Antiqua, better known as Jenny Doombringer, an accused war criminal in Ship Wars 4.
A murmur went through the jury box. Nearly all of them had heard of her, though they didn't all know what she looked like. But now, they realized what the half-covered tattoo said. "DOOMBRINGER".
"But before we begin," said Vaniellis, "does everyone present swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth for the duration of this trial, so help you Monty?"
Everyone took the oath, even the spectators and reporters in the back.
Vaniellis looked to the prisoner. "Jennifer 'Doombringer' Antiqua, you are accused of violating the treaty forming the Arc Appreciation Alliance and attacking Pink Rose Gold during Ship Wars 4," Vaniellis continued. "This trial will determine your guilt or innocence, and your fate. How do you plead?"
"Not guilty," she said, speaking up for the first time.
Some people gasped or murmured, some laughed. Blue Whale King smirked, but Strike did his best to hide any reaction. A few people yelled.
"PERJURY!" shouted Only T. Results, one of the jurors. "She must be executed for this obvious lie!"
"We know she is guilty, let us do away with this nonsense!" shouted Inquisitor Stormzx from the crowd.
Several other people cheered and shouted in agreement with these statements.
Judge Vaniellis tapped his gavel again. "Order! We will not become an angry mob, we are better than this!" He looked to Defence Attorney Strike, who'd walked over to the prisoner. He, Jennifer, and the guards had walked to the defence table and sat down. "First, the defence."
"Thank you, your honor," said Strike, who stood up. He looked around the room. "Arkos is a nation of mercy," he said. "We try to see the best in others, as Pyrrha and Jaune did in each other. Part of our oath is, 'Be the ship that makes people better.' Will seeking revenge accomplish that? I say, NO. People once sought the death of my now wife because of war crimes, but if they had succeeded, the Nation of Erusea, our ally r/EruseanPrincessWaifu, would not be anywhere near as prosperous as it is now. What's to say Jenny here can't make great contributions here in the future?" He sat down.
"Prosecution, you may respond," said Vaniellis.
"Thank you, your honor," said Prosecuting Attorney Blue Whale King, standing up from the prosecution table. "My friend and colleague here makes several excellent points. It is true that our oath calls for making people better. And seeking revenge is often a fool's errand. However, nothing he said contradicted the defendant's guilt."
"The facts are indisputable. Jennifer 'Jenny Doombringer' Antiqua attacked Pink Rose Gold during Ship Wars 4, twice. First at the battle with Sea Munkees, then the battle with Sea Monkeys, which we lost. I'd like to present some evidence."
"Go ahead," said Vaniellis. Blue Whale King pulled out a thumb drive and pushed it into a slot on the wall. The screen covering the ceiling lit up.
"Here is the footage of these battles."
He turned on the screen, and it displayed footage of the battles. The jurors, and the reporters and spectators in the back, watched the war footage with awe.
"Someone should make a movie of this," said Puzzarian Ideal, one of the people in the back. "I just wish I'd been there."
"They already have," replied Peter s. Nachbar.
"I helped make it," said Nitesco Gaming.
"Back to the point," said Blue Whale King, "did you all see what she did?"
The jurors were silent for several moments. One of them finally shook their head.
Whale rolled his eyes and rewound the footage. "Let's try this again, and this time I'll zoom in on a particular section of the battlefield."
Sure enough, this time everyone could clearly see Jenny Doombringer fighting against Pink Rose Gold. She mostly targeted the White Knight soldiers, but attacked anyone who got in her way, including Lancaster, White Rose, Milk & Cereal, Schneekos, and even Arkos. In the first battle, Penguino and Cayde managed to restrain her, but in the second, she was part of the force that defeated Pink Rose Gold.
"As you can see," said Blue, "she attacked Arkos's allies and Arkos itself, despite direct orders from her commanding officers and even the Oligarchy. There is no reasonable doubt that the defendant is guilty. Not just of treason, but perjury as well."
Whale sat down. Vaniellis nodded to Strike, who stood up.
"I'd like to call in a witness," he said. "Melanie, please come forward." Ship Wars Grand Hostess Melanie Antiqua sat up from the witness benches and walked to the front. More gasps.
"I thought that last name sounded familiar," said MacGregor in the back crowd.
"Yeah, it's simultaneously shocking and not surprising at all," replied Celtic Crown, who'd never miss an event like this.
Melanie took the witness stand. "My sister, Jenny, is a good, if misguided, individual," she said. "She has attacked White Knight every year, and she is within her rights to do so as part of the tournament. It's unfortunate that Arkos and the Arc Appreciation Alliance got caught up in this. I can see how it caused you distress, but I must insist that she is not a bad person. She did continue to fight for Arkos afterwards, and she joined the defense against the Dark Hive as part of the Alliance for the Sanctity of the Subreddit. Does that not absolve her of her crime?"
"Do you have anything else to add?" Vaniellis asked.
"No, your honor," Melanie replied.
"Your Honor, I have a few questions for the witness," said Prosecutor Blue Whale King.
"Go ahead," said Judge Vaniellis.
Whale walked up to the witness stand. "Do you love your sister, Jenny?" he asked Melanie.
"Yes, of course," Melanie replied.
"And would you still love her, even if she did something bad? Like, commit a war crime, for instance?"
"Yes," said Melanie, somewhat less enthusiastically than before.
"I have no further questions," said Blue Whale King.
"Then the witness may return to the benches," said Vaniellis. Melanie left the stand and did so.
"It's true that Jennifer fought for the ASS," said Blue, "but that does not absolve her of her crimes. The Brigade of the Dark Hive was a matter of survival for the entire Subreddit. Fewer than a dozen Redditors are known to have joined them. Many of our worst criminals fought for ASS. Not because they have good hearts, but because their lives depended on it. It does not absolve anyone of crimes." He went to the prosecution bench and sat down.
Judge Vaniellis looked to Defence Attorney Strike Freedom D'Elise, who stood up.
"There is another issue to consider here," he said. "Timing. The events in question occurred nearly a year ago. Is this case still even relevant? The defendant has not been accused of any crimes in the interim. Perhaps she will not reoffend and deserves forgiveness. Doesn't the Arkos Constitution have a Statute of Limitations?"
Vaniellis raised an eyebrow surprised that a fellow Triumvir of Arkos wouldn't already know. Still, he turned the ceiling screen to show the Arkos Constitution.
They all read through it. "No statute of limitations," said Vaniellis.
Strike sighed. He had no love for the defendant, and knew she was guilty. Still, it was his duty to make sure she got the best defence possible. And didn't nearly everyone deserve a chance at redemption?
Prosecutor Blue Whale King stood up. "Your Honor, I would like to bring in a witness of my own."
"You may," said Vaniellis.
"General Rade Blunner, please step up," said Whale.
The retired general of the White Knight Legion got up and went to the witness stand. He was tall, with a diagonal scar tracing his face from one side of his forehead to the other side of his jaw. He would not say how he got it. Though still an intimidating figure, he had softened somewhat after retiring.
"I still believe that Jenny Doombringer should've been extradited to White Knight, but I'll say my piece.
"A great many people look down on White Knight. We have long struggled to survive against diplomatic, economic, and military pressures from larger powers such as Arkos. Last year, when Blue Whale King and his Starfleet launched a campaign against White Knight before the tournament started, we finally decided we had enough. We formed a coalition of other Jaune ships to push them back, called the Anti-Arkos Alliance. This conflict became known as the Whale War. Had the Mod Council not intervened, it would have become a bloodbath.
"After that, we met with the leaders of Arkos, and realized we had a lot of common ground. We all worship the god Jaune Arc. We are all tired of heretical terrorist groups like Remnant Orgy Without Jaune. So we joined with Arkos, and the Anti-Arkos Alliance became the Arc Appreciation Alliance, with Pink Rose Gold as the flagship. The future was full of hope.
"But then, in our first battle, Jenny the Doombringer attacked us. Due to a drunken accident, (Strike looked away in embarrassment) White Knight did not make it into the tournament. Pink Rose Gold was all we had. Every previous year, she succeeded in eliminating White Knight. This time, since she was under Arkos command, and Arkos was an ally, we thought we were finally safe from her. We were wrong. We were already up against Sea Munkees, a dangerous opponent. We barely won. The next battle, she tipped the scales against us, and we lost. The pride of the AAA, defeated.
"Arkos still dedicated its victory to all Jaune ships, and shared the Bragg and Karma equally. But we would all have been better off with Pink Rose Gold. It would've meant more unity, so perhaps the AAA could have survived to this day, helping the economies of all our nations. Perhaps White Knight and Pink Rose Gold could have gotten into the tournament this year. The fallout of her betrayal is still affecting us."
"Do you have anything else to say?" asked Judge Vaniellis.
"No, Your Honor," said Rade.
"Do you have any questions for the witness?" Vaniellis asked both Whale and Strike. They both said no, so Rade Blunner returned to the bench with the other witnesses.
Blue Whale King called up multiple other witnesses. Next was Also A. Pun, a captain in the Arkos Starfleet:
"I was there, and can verify everything that was said. People like her put alliances in danger. If soldiers are going to betray their allies, even against the will of their superiors, why would anyone make an alliance? And if no one makes alliances, how are we going to get any closer to peace in the RWBY Sector? The defendant's actions have potentially caused unimaginable property damage and even loss of life."
Then Link:
"I was also there and can confirm everything. It really is shameful to betray your allies like that. Most of what I wanted to say has already been said, but I'd just like to tell everyone that I agree with what Rade and Pun said about alliances and loyalty."
Then Optimus Pyrrha:
"Everyone working in the Arkos Starfleet Shipyards, especially myself, were heartbroken when we learned of the betrayal. Many brand-new ships we had built for Pink Rose Gold were destroyed. Fine vessels worthy of a lifetime of service, destroyed in their first battles because of a traitor. It still makes me sad to think about it."
Then Sam Shazam:
"I'm one of the few people who was part of Pink Rose Gold before the AAA adopted it as their flagship. I was delighted when our previously ignored tiny faction became a major player. We had the chance to become a real nation, able to hold our own against major ships. But thanks to the betrayal from which we never recovered, this dream was cut short."
Then Generic Usernaym:
"Like the others, I can verify the truth of her betrayal. I must admit my view of alliances has soured lately, especially poly-ships. For the most part, they're only a proxy for larger ships, so they can hold more than one slot in the tournament and avoid putting their all into competing. That being said, traitors like Jenny Doombringer are one of the things I hate most about alliances. They are difficult enough to manage without people deliberately sabotaging them because they don't like a component. If it weren't for that, I would like them a lot more."
Then Lewdnep Vasilias, a scantily-clad blue-haired woman known for leading Neptune ships and operating various red light districts throughout the RWBY Sector. She turned quite a few heads when she walked up to the witness stand, earning lustful stares from most of the men and many of the women.
"I was one of the leaders of Sea Monkeys, the ship that defeated Pink Rose Gold. I would be lying if I said I wasn't glad to win. But I have to admit, the fact that we won because of a traitor on the other side kinda soured the victory for us. We wanted to crush them fair and square.
Oh, and if anyone wants to 'meet' with me after the trial, I'll be at-"
"That's enough," said Vaniellis, tapping his gavel. Lewdnep gave a saucy wink as she left the witness stand.
Finally, Madman Lava, head of the mysterious and classified r/BlueWhaleKingDNW system:
"Wait," said Blue. "Where is he?"
"Looks like he didn't show up," said Link.
"I should have said something earlier," said Optimus. "Nobody's seen him for months."
"Damnit, I'd call up Cayde and Penguino," said Whale, "But Cayde has also been missing for months, and, unfortunately, Penguino was killed in Ship Survivor III and failed to respawn when the Anomaly
Surge ended."
Those who knew Penguino hung their heads. The funeral in the Cemetery of the Deleted had only been a few weeks ago.
"Do you have any more witnesses?" Judge Vaniellis asked.
"Not that I can summon, so no," said Whale. "Unless you want to hear from every soldier who was there."
"That won't be necessary," said Vaniellis. "Defence, do you have any more witnesses?"
"No, your Honor," said Strike.
"Does either side have any more arguments?"
"I have one question," said Strike. "Why didn't we do this earlier? Did it fall through the cracks? It wouldn't surprise me with the nearly endless wars we've had over the past year."
"Partially," Blue answered,"But mostly because the defendant was missing. After the tournament ended, no one saw her until she showed up again for the Ship Wars 5 preliminaries. When T. Untitled Man and K. Burnside captured her, it was the first time any of us could find her after Ship Wars 4."
Jenny Doombringer had been sitting there with a smug grin on her face, occasionally chuckling at the fury directed at her and negative emotions of the testfiers, but she hadn't spoken since pleading not guilty at the beginning. She finally broke her silence.
"What, did you really think I was gonna stick around for your endless war? Seriously, this sector is embarrassing. You fight each other more than almost anyone else in the Reddit Galaxy. White Knight deserves to die. I have no sympathy for them. I only joined Arkos for the Bragg and Karma, to fulfill my bracket prediction, and the chance to take White Knight down."
"But you still swore an oath when you joined us!" said Strike, forgetting that he was supposed to be defending her.
"I don't take that kind of thing seriously, it's pretentious nonsense for pompous fools. But I know you take these things way too seriously, so I hightailed it outta there. I'm not getting mired up in your pointless conflicts. But don't act like you're any better, how did you all survive the notoriously deadly Ship Survivor?"
"By fighting, on the front line," said Blue Whale King. "We don't throw our lives away for nothing. But we take each other, our nations, and our oaths seriously."
Nearly everyone in the room nodded.
"The defence rests," said Defence Attorney Strike Freedom D'Elise, looking at Jenny in cold disappointment.
"The prosecution rests as well," said Prosecuting Attorney Blue Whale King.
"Then the jury may begin deliberating," said Judge Vaniellis.
The jury left into their back room.
"This shouldn't take long," said Tragic Solitude from the back crowd. She looked at Strike "Sorry you had to defe-"
The jury returned. "We find the defendant, Jennifer 'Doombringer' Antiqua, guilty of treason and perjury," said Umbrione.
"Objection, I don't feel guilty at all," said Jenny.
"That's not how this works," said Umbrione. "That's not how any of this works!"
"We recommend death by Banhammer," said Clem Prime.
"I'm not guilty," said Jenny. "I mean, I totally did it. I'm not guilty, I'm proud! And I feel great!" She stood up and cheered. People in the courtroom shook their heads, rolled their eyes, sighed, or glared.
Judge Vaniellis picked up the gavel. "Jennifer 'Doombringer' Antiqua, I sentence you to-"
"Peace out, motherfuckers!" Jenny said, as she threw something to the floor and vanished in a cloud of smoke.
The courtroom erupted in pandemonium
"She can't do that!" shouted Only T. Results.
"Where did she go?!" Futtlescish cried. "Did I seriously come all the way here for nothing?"
Various Rodent Collective members ran up the walls to avoid being trampled. "Can't you throw your quills?!" called the Chipmunk.
"For the millionth time, that's a myth!" the Porcupine replied. "And these people don't deserve that!"
"Please don't kill me again!" cried Inferno.
"This just got even more interesting," said Metas M. Petivero.
"Indeed," replied Exspiro V. Cremantam. "It was quite a spectacle."
Despite several minutes of searching, no one could find her.
"So much for that," said Vaniellis, stepping down from the judge's stand and taking off his powdered wig. "This thing is really itchy."
"You didn't HAVE to wear it," said Strike.
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a sense of style," said Whale, swishing his purple cape and then looking up at the glowing Silmaril in his crown.
"I should still get a better-fitting one next time," said Vaniellis.
"Good point," said Whale. "Oh, and before we leave," he used his loud whale voice, "ATTENTION EVERYONE! I am offering 1,000 Karma to anyone who captures Jenny Doombringer and brings her back, alive or dead. Preferably dead."
"I'm on it!" shouted Puzzarian Ideal. He went to the doorway and struck a dramatic pose. "I shall hunt down and defeat the evildoer! Then I shall bring back her head, mounted on a scythe! And all will remember the name of Puzzarian Ideal!" He dashed out the door.
"I'm going too!" said Only T. Results, and followed.
"Same here!" said Jackson Creed, Reply, Futtlescish, and several others, all following as well.
Within a few seconds, the courtroom was much emptier, though quite a few people remained.
"Hey everyone that's left," said Lewdnep, "do you want to-"
"Lewdnep, no," said Link.
"Lewdnep, yes!" said Venom Ahab. "Let's have an orgy!"
"What, no," said Lewdnep. "I was going to say, go over to the Discord Galaxy and hunt Waifus and Husbandos. You all have dirty minds."
"I'm good at that," said Peter. "Let's do it."
"Sounds good," said Tragic.
"I'll have to decline," said Spiderplant. "I need to get back to Lancaster."
"And I, Guns and Roses," said Nitesco.
"What the hell, I'll join," said Inferno. "As long as I don't get killed. Celtic, do you want to come?"
"No thanks," said Celtic. "Nitesco and I only really showed up because we're the only ones who always appear in these stories, and we didn't want to break the streak."
"I'll also have to decline," said Strike. "Rosa and Tragic are the only waifus for me."
"Suit yourselves," said Armory.
"Wait, what stories?" Blue Whale King asked. "Do you mean the trial transcript? Who's doing that, by the way?"
Most of the people were already leaving.
"Vaniellis, will you do the trial transcript?" Whale asked.
"Sorry, no, I have to go to the wig store," said Vaniellis as he left.
"Strike? What about you?"
"No, I, uh, need to make sure Futtlescish doesn't get himself killed," he said, and ducked out the door.
"Metas? Exspiro?"
"We're not even part of your nation!" Metas said.
"Even though I am a librarian," said Exspiro.
Soon, Blue Whale King was all alone in the room.
"Damnit," he said, "I'll have to do the transcript myself."
Waifu hunting would have to wait.