With H50 ending, this story has come to its finish line as well. I'm kinda sad it's over, even more, because of the show ending as well. It's waaay longer than I intended it to be when I started writing it - I hope you don't mind.
The last chapter is the longest of all, but I didn't feel like splitting it into two parts. Also, I'd like to point out that I don't have any law or JAG background, just Google for some basic research so forgive me for any mistakes.
As usual - I'd love to thank to everybody who reviewed this story, as well as for all the follows and favs. You guys are amazing and you kept me motivated all the time. Mahalo.
Okay, enough rambling - enjoy the last chapter. I really hope you'll like it.
Danny stood on the lanai, his back leaning against the wall of Steve's house, and watched the sky turn orange with the sunset. A phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and checked the called ID. It was Junior.
He didn't have a chance to say anything when he answered the call, as Junior began talking straight away without any pleasantries.
"We found it!"
"You found what, Junior?"
"The recordings," the young man announced. "With the instructions from Esther that were played to Steve when he'd been drugged."
"Wait, are you serious?" Danny asked in disbelief. "That's why you were staying at work all the late nights?"
"Well, to be fair, I had some help. Lou, Adam, Quinn, and Tani, they all have a fair share of sleepless nights on this," Junior stated. "But it was worth it, wasn't it?"
"Worth it?" Danny said. "It's amazing evidence! Why didn't you tell me sooner? If I knew what you were up to, I'd be there with you and help you guys."
Junior smiled. "Of that I have no doubt, but you were right where you were needed the most."
Danny glanced over his partner in the distance, who just got out of the ocean and stood on the beach, staring at the calm water.
"Yeah, you're right." he agreed. "Listen, I have to go but we'll talk when you come home."
"Okay."
He ended the call and put the phone back into the pocket of his trousers. Junior's call made his lips curl into a slight smile.
Drawing the salty air into his lungs, Danny walked toward the beach, where Steve just returned from his first swim in ages. He passed him the towel and studied his friend's face. Steve seemed tired but relaxed at the same time.
"How was the swim?"
There was a hint of a genuine smile on Steve's lips. "Great," he said. "I've missed this."
Steve dried himself with the towel and then put it down on the wooden chair. That's when Danny noticed it and swallowed a huge lump in his throat.
The stripes of red lined both of Steve's wrists, reminding him of the day they've almost died. The day he'd thought it was game over for all three of them. The images of Steve hanging from the ceiling, doing his best to hide the pain he must have been in as his muscles had stretched and the ropes had been cutting into his flesh, flooded Danny's mind and sent a shiver down his spine.
He realized Steve had been wearing only long-sleeved shirts since then, never rolling the sleeves up anymore. And this was the first time Danny got a better look at the physical consequences of Esther's evil manners.
"It doesn't hurt anymore," Steve said, noticing the turmoil inside Danny, who couldn't take his eyes of Steve's scars.
"Good," he murmured, not entirely convinced.
"You okay?"
It took Danny's senses a second to return. "Yeah," he lied, lowering his gaze. "I'm fine."
Steve walked toward him and rested the palm of his hand on Danny's shoulder, making eye contact with him. "You know you can talk to me, right?"
"It's nothing, really," Danny said and forced a smile. "But there is something else I'd like to talk about."
Steve let his hand go and released a long sigh. "Let me guess. The trial?"
Danny shifted his gaze to Steve, who had a defeat written all over his eyes. "You got a second chance, buddy," he said. "Don't throw it away. Call the lawyer, tell him you've changed your mind."
"Danny…"
"I get it, Steve," Danny stopped him before he had a chance to protest. "I do. It's who you are and I understand what the Navy and our country mean to you. But this isn't the question of morals and honor anymore. You're going to be a father and that's a great responsibility too."
"Danny, can you please stop?"
Danny shook his head and kept talking. "Look, even the judge doesn't think it was a good idea to plead guilty so please, let's go inside and do something to get your life back because it's not over yet." He paused, staring at his best friend with a pleading look.
"You done?" Steve asked. "Can I speak now?"
Danny gestured him to go ahead.
"An innocent man died as the result of my actions," Steve said, frowning. "It's not just about the honor. A little kid had lost his father because of me."
"And another child will lose a father if you don't do something about it," Danny objected, staring into Steve's eyes.
Steve's frown deepened and he turned his gaze away. He remained silent for a moment, then turned back to Danny.
"I've been thinking about it," Steve began. "But even if I decided to defend myself and by some miracle, I didn't go to jail, it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't make a difference. I've still done what I've done."
"You're wrong," Danny stepped in again. "It would change a lot. Right, maybe not the past. No one can change the past, Steve. But you, my friend, can change the future. Not only yours. And maybe your life doesn't mean much to you anymore but it does to the rest of us. It will matter to your child. So yeah, it would make a difference."
Steve turned toward the ocean, staring into the distant blue for a minute in complete silence and Danny could see his friend's mind whirl. He didn't say anything, he just gave Steve some space to think about his words.
"Okay," Steve said after a few more minutes in silence, his voice a mere whisper. "I'll do it. I'll call Michael."
Danny sat next to Steve on the sofa in Steve's living room, cradling the bottle of Longboard. The atmosphere in the room was tense, but however painful it was for all of them, this meeting had to be done.
Jason and Michael, two lawyers determined to do what it takes to win this case, sat opposite them.
Catherine kissed Steve's cheek and whispered something into his ear, then turned around and headed toward the stairway.
"I'll be upstairs if you need me," she said and in a few seconds, she disappeared from their sight.
Danny watched his partner, who seemed to be lost in his thoughts, fighting his demons, and couldn't help but feel the surge of anger for what had happened to him.
"I'm glad you've changed your mind," Michael said to Steve. "You've made the right decision."
"Mm-hmm," Steve murmured without looking at him.
"I've read the case files, including the depositions from Commander Jackson and his men. And the report from your doctor in which she states you were subjected to rounds of physical abuse and injections of psychoactive drugs, barbiturates, and other experimental drugs," Michael began.
"We have a good chance of getting you acquitted based on that," Jason added. "Plus we have the recordings to prove you've been drugged and none of your actions were intentional, which will be our base."
Steve didn't reply and Danny could see the struggles in his friend's eyes.
"Steve, if we're supposed to help you, we need to know everything," Jason stated the obvious.
"He's right," Michael joined him. "We've worked with the information we had. But you're the only one who knows everything. You know what exactly had happened. And we need to hear it so we can use it at the trial."
Steve's gaze shifted to Danny, who saw the turmoil inside his friend immediately. There weren't many things Steve wouldn't handle. But talking about anything bad that had happened to him, especially in front of his loved ones, was definitely one of them.
"You want me to leave?" he asked.
"No," Steve answered without hesitation. "You can stay if you want."
Even knowing it'll be hard to hear Steve's side of the story, Danny couldn't leave him to deal with all that alone. He had to stay there for him. As an emotional support friend - as Steve would call it.
"I'll stay then."
Steve turned around and gazed out of the window. He drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, which didn't go unnoticed by Danny.
It wasn't easy for him either. Going back to the time his partner had been held hostage, especially to the moment he'd found him, hurt and disoriented, to the moment he'd stared into the barrel of Steve's gun, not having a clue why. Danny pushed the thought into the back of his skull and forced himself to focus. His feelings didn't matter. Not right now. He placed a hand on the base of Steve's neck, grounding him.
"It's all right. You've got this," he said. "I'm right here, babe."
Giving him a weak smile, Steve nodded, then turned to Jason and Michael. "Okay. Where to start?" he murmured, asking more of himself than anyone else.
"Right at the beginning," Jason said. "Start with the case that started all this."
"Take your time, Steve," Michael added. "Don't leave anything out. You're a cop so you know how this works. Any small detail might help."
Danny kept his hand on Steve, hoping it might make him feel a little more at ease, knowing he was there for him.
Steve nodded and taking another deep breath, he began talking, starting with the call he'd got from Duke, calling them to the hostage situation in the bank. It was obvious from the way he'd formulated the words, as well as his body language, that explaining what had actually happened in that basement during those four days was the hardest part for him.
Danny didn't say a word but maintained the physical touch. Even his stomach was twisting with the image of what Steve had been through. What Esther had put him through. He loathed that woman and was happy she was finally dead.
Steve's eyes searched for Danny's when he explained how he remembered that he'd shot his best friend to Esther's order and tried to strangle the love of his life who had stood in the way. The apologetic look in his eyes was something to haunt Danny in his dreams.
But with Danny's encouragement, Steve kept talking, reliving his experience step by step, answering the painful questions of his two lawyers.
And then he was done, fighting to keep his feelings at bay. But Danny could see his vulnerability through the hard facade. He always had. And it was painful for him to see his best friend, his brother, this broken and full of immense guilt even after months of recovery.
"I think that's all," Steve announced.
Michael smiled at him. "I know it must have been hard to tell us," he said. "But it was incredibly useful, Steve. Definitely something we can work with."
"Okay," Steve murmured, his gaze locked on the window.
"Let me say," Jason added. "I can't imagine what you've been through, Steve. And even as a fellow sailor I don't understand how you managed to survive that, let alone get this far. Most of the men would break the first day. Please don't blame yourself for this. You don't deserve to die in jail for what's not your fault. And we'll make sure you won't."
Steve gave him a nod without looking at him. "Okay," he murmured again. "Is that all?"
"For now, yes," Michael confirmed. "We'll keep you posted."
"Thanks," Steve said, lifting himself up. He walked toward the stairway, then disappeared upstairs.
Danny watched his friend intently, his heart breaking, but he was proud of him for opening up for the sake of his family. He knew that for the stubborn SEAL talking was harder than any life-threatening situation.
But in its own way, this was life and death situation as well. And there was no space for mistakes.
2 weeks later
Waiting in the hall in front of the courtroom, Steve paced around like a caged tiger as Danny and Catherine watched him in silence, with worry in their eyes.
"Steve, stop. Please," Michael stopped him, making Steve look at him.
Steve stopped and looked at his lead attorney, his mind in a whirl.
"Look, it won't be a walk in the park," Michael said. "But we'll get you through this."
Reminding him of that wasn't necessary. He knew all too well how ugly it can get during any trial and the difficult questions were expected. He had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach with the thought of answering them in front of everyone.
Michael pointed to the door. "I think Jason's in there already and I need to go through some stuff with him before we start. I'll be inside. Try to calm down, then come in," he said and walked away.
Catherine cupped Steve's cheek and pressed a light kiss to his lips. "It'll be all right," she whispered to his ear when she pulled away. "You can do this. We can do this."
Steve nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face into her neck. The warmth of her body on his made just a sliver of the anxiousness go away.
He lowered his gaze when she released him from a hug, bracing himself for what was about to come.
"Hey," Danny got his attention, grabbing his arm.
Steve's gaze shifted to Danny's worried one.
"When things get tough, just look at me, all right? Take a deep breath, look at me and keep going."
"Thanks, Danno."
Glancing over his watch, Steve released a long sigh. "We should go inside," he said, drawing his brows.
"Wait a minute," Danny replied. "We're waiting for someone."
Steve creased his forehead and raised his eyebrow in confusion. "Waiting for who?"
"For us," he heard a familiar voice from behind him and turned around.
He raised an eyebrow when he saw the group of people making their way to them.
"What?" Quinn said. "You didn't think we'll leave you alone in this, did you?"
Adam nodded. "Quinn's right, boss," he said. "We can't miss this."
"I'm not the boss anymore," Steve objected.
"You'll always be for us," Junior chimed in.
Steve released a long sigh. "Thanks for coming guys, I really appreciate it, but you didn't have to come."
"No one said we had to come," Tani agreed. "We wanted to. And as far as I know - we can."
Lou joined the crowd. "Don't you think for a second we don't want to be here for our boy. We're here to let you know we're all with you, man. Until the end."
Frowning, Steve turned to Danny. "Is this your job?" he asked.
"Why do you think it's my job," Danny said. "They can decide for themselves, and they want to be here, with you. To support you in the times of need, because that's what ohana is for, right?"
"Danny's right," Tani agreed. "You're the one who taught us what ohana is. So stop fussing and let's get this over with so we can go out and celebrate."
Tani was certainly more confident about the outcome of the trial than Steve. He forced a slight smile, that didn't reach his eyes and glanced over the group of his friends. His family. All of them determined to get him back on track.
"Okay," he said. "Let's get this over with."
The courtroom was packed, which didn't surprise Steve but he hoped for fewer people to come. It'll be hard enough even without them listening.
They all stood as the judge, Captain Morrissey, entered the courtroom and made his way to his chair and opened up the trial with the usual formalities.
Malia Chavez then announced, "The prosecution is ready to proceed with the trial in the case of United States v. McGarrett," she looked over at Steve, "who is present."
Captain Morrissey gestured to the eight stern-looking officers, five men and three women, who composed the panel.
"The members will now be sworn."
Trial counsel stood and read the oath.
"Do you affirm that you will answer truthfully the questions concerning whether you should serve as a member of this court-martial; that you will faithfully and impartially try, according to the evidence, your conscience, and the laws applicable to trials by court-martial, the case of the accused now before this court, and that you will not disclose or discover the vote or opinion of any particular member of the court-martial upon the findings or sentence unless required to do so in due course of law?"
Each member swore the oath, which took a good half hour.
Captain Morrissey then made it official.
"The court-martial is assembled."
Steve's heart thudded against his ribcage as he sat into his chair. He tried his best to brace himself for what was he about to hear from the prosecution and their witnesses. But one could never be ready for that.
Malia's opening statement made him remember why he'd pleaded guilty in the first place. Because he was and she'd been right. It took all his will to fight that thought and think about the reason to keep fighting. His family needed him.
In the defense opening statement, Michael appealed to the members not to find Steve guilty as he'd been tortured and mind-controlled. As discussed, he focused on Steve's acts not being made intentionally.
It was a long day of the painful memories brought to the light, especially the cross-examination of the witnesses. But as his counsel insisted it had to be done, Steve decided to testify as well and that's when the true nightmare had started.
Malia's questions made him feel physically sick, angry at himself for being so weak. With all the people in the room, it has never been harder to speak about what had happened to him. But he'd remembered Danny's words and every time it felt like he couldn't keep talking anymore, his eyes searched for his partner, who had his arm wrapped up around Catherine's shoulders. Danny kept flashing Steve a supportive smile. That had made him push his pride aside and keep going. Remembering what would be the result of losing the trial, he hung in there, question by question, until it was finally over.
The rest wasn't his show. The case and Steve's life was in Jason's and Michael's hands. And after the grueling day, the last thing that could make up the minds of the members were the closing arguments.
Steve glanced at his right. Malia was in deep thought, scribbling notes on a legal pad. He forced himself to turn his eyes, and his thoughts, away from her. But in the split second before he did, Malia glanced up, and their eyes locked. She grinned and winked, then looked down at the legal pad again. Steve's heart skipped a beat and his stomach twisted.
"All rise."
Michael dropped the pad on their table and stood at attention. Jason and Steve joined him.
"Are counsel ready for the closing argument?"
"The government is ready," Malia said with a hint of arrogance.
"The defense is ready," Michael's tone exuded confidence.
"The record should reflect that the members are now in place," Captain Morrissey said, then turned to the jury. "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached that point in the court-martial where both parties have rested their cases and are ready for closing arguments. Remember the closing argument is not evidence, but rather is the opinion of the attorneys as to how the evidence was presented, and how you should act based upon that evidence. In other words, closing arguments are the last and best opportunity for these attorneys to advocate their respective positions to you. The evidence, however, is what you have heard and seen from the witness stand during this trial."
The judge took a swig of water and then turned his gaze to the counsel. "Counsel, before we proceed, does either party have anything else for the court's consideration?"
"Nothing from the government, Sir," Malia said.
"Nothing from the defense."
"Very well. The members are ready. Mrs. Chavez?"
Steve felt his heart pounding as the trial counsel rose to her feet. Malia walked slowly to the banister separating the jury box from the well of the courtroom.
"Ladies and gentlemen," she made eye contact with the senior officers, then swept her gaze across the other members. "Again, my name is Malia Chavez, and I am the prosecutor in this case. In my opening statement, I mentioned that I would call three witnesses to testify as to the defendant's guilt."
Malia held her outstretched palm toward the Chaplain Corps officers, all dressed in white uniforms with black and gold shoulder boards. She gave them an affectionate look as if she was their greatest admirer.
"Each witness testified as I explained and we have established the following facts beyond a reasonable doubt. That on November 29th, the defendant had spied on the security of the military object, specifically Red Hill underground storage, with intent to pass the information to the enemy who had intended to use it against the United States military. That he'd intentionally broken into the named military object, threatened the commanding officer and helped the enemy to gain the access and plant the explosives inside of the object."
A shiver of cold ran down Steve's spine with a reminder of what had happened. Once again, he had to look over his shoulder and seek Danny's eyes, to get the support he needed so much. The blonde detective forced an affirming smile and a slight nod, but he couldn't hide the concern in his eyes.
"I'd like to remind you that this act, although indirectly, had cost Lieutenant Harris his life and four of his colleagues ended up badly injured. But the impact of the accused's actions would have resulted in causing harm not only to thousands, or maybe even millions of others, but also to the United States defense if the brave Navy officers cooperating with the Five-0 taskforce had not intervened, preventing this from happening."
This was exactly why Steve had pleaded guilty. Every single word of Malia Chavez had been the truth. He lowered his gaze, trying to remember the reasons to fight. But it was harder than ever before.
"We would ask you to reject the defense theories of the case. We'd like to bring into the attention that some of their witnesses are in a close relationship with the accused, which might cloud their judgment. Also, the theory of being tortured and drugged shouldn't matter, as the defendant had been particularly trained to resist in these kinds of situations and is required to do so. We believe it's not an excuse."
Malia paused again, dramatically, her eyes searching those of the jury.
"In conclusion, we would ask that you find the defendant guilty as charged. Send a strong message that treason will not be tolerated. Not in our Navy. Thank you."
The dramatic silence in the courtroom was almost hypnotic, punctuated only by the clock and the sounds of Malia's shoes clicking against the floor as she made her way back to the counsel table.
Steve glanced at Michael, who was sitting with his hands folded on his lap, smiling slightly as if he were the only one in the packed courtroom who had not fallen under Malia's swoon.
"Mr. Stevens?" the judge addressed Steve's leading attorney. "Is the defense ready to proceed?"
"Yes, Your Honor, the defense is ready."
"Then the members are with the defense."
With a pleasant smile on his face, Michael strode confidently, without notes, and turned to the members.
"Distinguished members of this court-martial," he began. "First, let me say that the sympathies of my client are with Lieutenant Matthew Harris, who had lost his life in the unfortunate event." Michael was now in the center of the banister, holding his palms up and speaking quietly. His emotion-laden voice was about to crack.
Steve couldn't help himself but look over his shoulder to Angela Harris, who had been sitting in the second row. Their gazes met for a split second before Steve turned back with a churning in the pit of his stomach.
"What this case is really about is the awful things that took place when Lieutenant Harris's life was lost, when the United States military was endangered," Michael's voice grew louder. "But let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, that Steve McGarrett was not an enemy in this case, rather another victim of these terrible acts."
Michael paused, making eye contact with every member.
"Now, through a great part of this case, the trial counsel has gone back and forth about it could have happened this way or it could have happened that way. But the burden on them is not to show what could have happened. It's not to show what might have happened. And, ladies and gentlemen, it's not even to show what probably happened. Their burden is to show what did happen and to convince you of it beyond a reasonable doubt."
Steve saw a few nods from the members.
"By now you already know what did really happen. There were all kinds of other things that could have happened and there were all kinds of other things that should have happened. But it doesn't matter now. What does matter is whether what had happened was intentional and malicious as defined in the Uniform Code of Military Justice."
Steve watched Michael's confident steps in front of the banister, almost holding his breath.
"So the question before you is when my client endangered the existence of Red Hill, did he do it maliciously and intentionally? And is there a basis for doubt that it was done maliciously and intentionally?"
Michael paused dramatically, letting the questions sink.
"Based on the witness testimonies and the evidence provided earlier today, you should be confident that my client is the man of honor, who, as had proved numerous times, is willing to risk his life for his country at any given moment, for his family or strangers. He is a man who puts everyone else first, no matter whether he knows them or not. So ask yourself - would he really have endangered lives of innocent people deliberately? Would this man, who had done so much for his country, risk its safety? Or was he really the victim in this awful crime?"
Only the tick-tock of the nautical clock hanging over the judge's bench punctuated Michael's perfectly timed silence.
"You've heard a lot of statements from the witnesses today. Long and detailed statements that prove the condition of the defendant in the time of the unfortunate event. You've heard the doctor's statement about the substance found in my client's body and its effects. Make up your mind about the defendant's acts being intentional. Because as we proved during this trial, he had no control over his body or mind whatsoever."
Another pause.
"In the case that the prosecutor has presented to you today, there is insufficient proof to convict my client. The defendant does not have to prove he is innocent, rather it is the burden of the prosecuting attorney to prove that the defendant is guilty. And they have not met that burden."
He pointed to the prosecution's table, then turned back to the members, searching for their eyes.
"On behalf of Steven McGarrett, as his counsel, and based on this evidence that you've heard, and based on the instructions the judge is going to give you, I ask you to apply our law to these facts and to find this man not guilty on the count of forcing a safeguard, aiding the enemy, and espionage. Because it's the only verdict that is fair in this case. Thank you."
Michael turned, walked back to the counsel table, pulled out his chair and sat down, whispering something to Jason's ear, making the military attorney smile.
Judge Morrissey's voice thundered through the courtroom. "The verdict will be announced tomorrow at eleven o'clock."
Twenty hours later
Steve watched the jury file in. The members were stone-faced as they sat down in the jury box, making no eye contact with anyone. They were focused, it seemed, on the empty chair on the bench, waiting for the occupant of that chair, Captain Morrissey, to arrive.
"All rise."
"Please be seated," the judge looked at the senior officer of the panel. "I understand the members have reached the verdict?"
"We have, Your Honor."
"Will the accused and counsel please rise?"
As the chaplains rose to face the members, Steve's heart pounded, and he thought he might throw up. His thoughts went to Catherine and Danny, who must have been terrified, and he felt sorry for doing all this to them.
"Please, approach the president of the court-martial," the judge ordered.
He walked to a spot in front of the most senior of the members, swallowing a lump in his throat.
"Would the president of the court-martial announce the findings, please?" the judge asked.
This was it.
Steve took a deep breath and kept his hopes low, expecting the punishment he deserved.
The president, a Navy captain wearing the insignia of a surface warfare officer, stood from his chair on the first row of the jury box and stared down at the verdict sheet.
"In the case of United States versus Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett, on the charges of forcing a safeguard, aiding the enemy, and espionage, this court finds you…"
The president stopped reading and looked up, staring for a moment into Steve's eyes.
"Not guilty."
Pandemonium broke out in the back of the courtroom. Captain Morrissey banged his gavel.
It took Steve's mind a few seconds to process the words. They did it. They won. Not only his counsel delivered not guilty verdict, but they also managed to keep him in the Navy reserves.
A strange mix of emotions had flooded him. He was relieved to have another chance at his life, but at the same time, there was a feeling of disappointment, almost. Because no matter the members' decision, Steve felt guilty anyway. He turned around and thanked Jason and Michael, shaking their hands with a slight smile on his face.
"You did great, sailor," he heard Catherine's voice behind him.
He spun on his heel and they collapsed into each other's arms, holding tight. With a huge smile on his face, Danny enfolded both of them into his embrace and refused to let go for a couple of long seconds.
"It's over, buddy," Danny ensured him. "It's over."
Steve pulled away from their hug and headed toward the exit, wanting to be as far from that place as possible. A group of his friends and his counsel gathered around him, all happy with the verdict of the jury.
But it was someone else who got his attention, standing aside, staring at him. Steve looked in her direction. Angela Harris seemed she had something on her mind.
"Excuse me for a moment," Steve said to his friends and headed her way, swallowing a lump in his throat.
"Hi," she said, her voice catching in her throat. "Can we talk for a minute, please?"
Steve nodded. "Sure," he agreed. "But first of all, I'm sorry about that visit two weeks ago. It probably wasn't a good idea."
"No, it's okay," she lowered her sight and looked for words before looking back up at him. "I'm the one who should apologize for my reaction. "
"Your reaction was completely understandable."
She shook her head. "You know, they didn't tell me what had happened. And when you showed up on my doorway, it made me ask questions. And that's how I found out about the trial."
Steve remained quiet, letting the widow say whatever was on her mind.
"To be honest, I came here with hope to get justice for my husband's death," she said. "And after you told me you're the one responsible, I wanted you to pay. But I didn't know the circumstances or the details until yesterday. And after the trial, I've changed my mind."
She paused, staring into Steve's eyes. "I think you're wrong," she announced. "It wasn't your fault Matt had died. He died protecting his home from those people. And you and Five-0 made sure they got what they've deserved."
Her eyes watered and her voice broke. "I'm sorry about what had happened to you. And I knew Matt better than anyone else. Trust me if I tell you he would never blame you for that. You remind me of him a lot, you know?"
She burst into tears and Steve hesitated, unsure what to say or do. His protective nature taking over, he pulled the crying woman into an embrace, which she didn't resist.
"I'm really sorry for your loss," he whispered. "There is nothing I can do to change what had happened or make you feel better. But if you or your son ever need something, anything, please let me know."
He knew it was a weak consolation but it was all he could do. Steve met Danny's gaze for a moment. The blonde detective flashed him a sad smile.
Angela pulled away from the hug and wiped her tears away. "Thanks," she murmured.
"I mean it," he said. "Whatever you guys need, whether it's a favor or a just to talk, let me know."
She forced a smile and nodded. "Thanks, Commander. I need to go now and I'm pretty sure your friends want you back." She wiped the remaining tears off her face. "See you."
"Yeah, take care," Steve said and watched her disappear, her words whirring in his mind.
He wasn't convinced anyway. The image of a little boy cradling the toy battleship sent a shiver down his spine. Only Danny's hand on his shoulder brought him back from his reverie.
"You all right?"
Steve turned and glanced over his friend, who knew the answer to his question before he even asked.
"Yeah," he lied and wrapped his arm around his best friend, walking toward the rest of the group. "Let's go home, buddy."
2 weeks later
The large volcanic rock on top of the mountain took on an orange glow as the sun started its downward trek toward the ocean. The ocean, just ten miles away, was magnificently blue, and the Pacific breeze against his face was the perfect catharsis to the high-stakes courtroom drama he had finished just last week.
As his house was still full of his too caring ohana, especially his blonde partner, he needed to get away, to think, to chill out. And if there was one place in Hawaii that would provide him the best opportunity, Steve figured it would be a hidden lookout, off the beaten path, where his father used to take him as a kid.
He was right. Not a soul was up there in the late afternoon. That might change. But for a few minutes at least, he could reflect on what had happened in the past year of his life.
There was not even time to mourn his mother properly, as his life had taken an unexpected turn so soon after she'd died in his arms.
Despite Esther and Aaron Bennett being dead, despite the verdict of the court-martial, he couldn't help himself but feel like he'd failed. Like he'd betrayed who he was by being this emotional wreck for the past few months.
His thoughts returned to a simpler time, a long time ago, when he was a boy. He remembered his grandfather, who he'd been named after. The time he sat on his knee, listening to his stories with attention, hoping to be like him one day. Until about six months ago, Steve was certain his grandfather and father would both be proud of him. But what would they think now? After all he'd done? What would they say about the person he'd become?
"Hi."
The familiar voice turned his attention to the empty clearance behind him.
Catherine stood there, a smile plastered on her face.
"How did you know where to find me?" Steve asked.
"Maybe I know you better than you think," she replied with a smile on her face.
He smiled back at her as the breeze ruffled her hair.
"Come, have a seat." He patted the stone wall beside him.
She walked toward him and hopped on the wall and sat down, close enough to Steve to feel the warmth of her body.
"I've often noticed this place from the highway," she said. "But I've never been up here."
"That's one of the reasons I love it. Most people see it from down bellow but never try to approach it."
She looked around. "It's beautiful."
"And inspiring," he added.
Steve couldn't take his eyes from her face. From her smile he loved so much. They sat silently for a moment, with the breeze blowing in their faces.
Their eyes met, and when she spoke again, her voice was softer. "We'll get through this, you know that. Right?"
He nodded, reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. He didn't want to talk about that now. He didn't want to even think about it. Not now, not with the beautiful smile on her face and the stunning view of their homeland right in front of them.
They were silent again for a moment, dangling their legs off the rock wall and enjoying the late afternoon breeze rushing in from the ocean. Then, standing, he pulled her to her feet.
"You know, I've been meaning to ask you something for a long time." He drew her closer, and she smiled as if knowing what he was going to say. "I wanted it to be special, but I'm tired of waiting. So I'll just go with cliche and say it now," he said, staring into her eyes. "Cath. You're the most amazing person I have ever met and I've never felt like this before with anyone. You've made me feel alive - I mean, really alive - for the first time in my life. And when I'm with you, it makes all bad things in my life fade."
Her big smile made his heart melt. Looking deep into her eyes he kept talking. "I was a mess before you walked into my life and even bigger mess after you walked away. But I'm happy to have you back in my life and I want you to stay in it this time."
Steve wondered where did all the words come from. He was never good with words, let alone expressing his feelings. But this time it just felt so natural to say what had been on his mind.
"Cath, will you marry me?"
She grinned up at him, the light in her eyes catching the sun. He let go of one hand and touched her face, letting his fingertips trail along the side of her cheek. She stepped into his arms, and stood there, listening to the sounds of the distant surf and the calls of the seagulls wheeling above them.
Steve closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair, thinking that this moment, with Catherine in his arms, was one he would remember forever.
After a while, she pulled back and gently touched his jaw. Her eyes seemed luminous with affection, and his heart swelled. "I thought you'd never ask," she said.
"Is that a yes?"
She chuckled. "Of course it's a yes."
Steve leaned over and kissed her passionately. And for the first time in months, he felt alive again.
He pulled away, looked at her and a smile rose his face. "I think there's something missing," he said and reached into the pocket of his cargo pants.
Catherine drew her brows as if surprised when he opened a small box with a ring and took the shiny jewel out of it. "You carry it with you?" she asked.
"For the past couple of days, yes," he said.
Taking her hand, he fitted the ring on her finger, then he kissed her again, this time softer. "I love you. I always have," he whispered into her ear when their lips parted.
"I love you too, Steve," she said, resting her head on his chest. "And just so you know, this is special."
He put his arm around her shoulder, and they sat on the stone wall, dangling their legs over the side, and watched the sun set over the Pacific.
The sky was blue with just a few stratus clouds making their unhurried way toward the ocean. The sun was already a friendly ball of yellow above, promising more heat as the day progressed. All in all, Steve couldn't ask for better weather for Saturday's barbeque party at his place.
It was, of course, Danny's idea, but giving it a thought, Steve decided to agree on that one, hoping it might take his mind off the events of the past several months and simply enjoy a day with his ohana.
Standing aside on the lanai, Steve looked around and took a sip of his beer. The whole Five-0 team, his friends, and his fiancee seemed to enjoy the late morning, talking and joking like nothing had ever happened. But it had. And as much as he tried to push the feelings of guilt and the painful memories aside, he couldn't. They were always present, haunting him during the nights and days, and he knew it won't ever change. And the only thing preventing him from breaking apart were the people around him, especially Danny and Catherine.
"Hey, you got a sec?" he heard Danny's voice behind him and turned in his friend's direction.
Danny showed up in the doorway and walked outside with his hands hidden behind the back.
Steve lifted his brow, wondering what his friend was up to. "Sure."
"I've got something for you." Danny strode toward him, extending his arm, holding a small paper box wrapped with a red bow. He handed it to Steve, who looked at him with confusion.
"What is it? It's not my birthday."
"Just open it," Danny said, smiling.
Steve looked down on the box in his hands, untied the bow and opened it. It took him a moment to realize that all the voices around him faded and when he lifted his head, all the eyes in the backyard were staring at him, expecting his reaction.
Steve took a shiny piece of metal into his hand, taking it out of the paper box, and held it in front of him. He hasn't seen his Five-0 badge since he'd left it on the table in his office about five months ago.
"I thought maybe it's time to come back," Danny said, watching him intently.
Steve's head began to whirl. It was like a ton of weight had been lifted off his shoulders. On hearing Danny say those words, months of frustration and torment suddenly vanished. And yet he knew feeling like that was contradictory to everything he'd been fighting against for the last five months.
Was this really what he wanted again? Was it what he needed to get his life back on track?
"What do you think?" Danny asked impatiently. "You ready?"
"Yes," Steve said, without a moment's hesitation.
He knew it wasn't true, however much he wanted it to be. But what else he was going to say? Maybe this would get him focused again. He would never be the same man that he used to be, but this was still what he was.
"I've got one condition though," he said.
Danny pouted and looked up at him. "Okay, what condition?"
"I'll drive. I'm getting sick of being chauffeured around. "
He heard a few chuckles from his friends and watched Danny's lips curl into a genuine smile. "I was counting on that," he said. "I kinda had to choose between my car and my BFF who is a control freak."
Steve returned the smile and wrapped his arms around Danny. "Thanks, buddy," he whispered, holding his best friend in the tight embrace.
"Don't thank me yet. I'm still in charge," Danny grinned.
"We'll see about that," Steve said, releasing Danny from a hug.
Danny smiled again, pleased by Steve's reaction. "It's good to have you back, partner."
"Yeah," Steve nodded, hoping it wasn't a step too far too soon.
"By the way," Danny said. "I've been promised a McGarrett burger today. Is that happening anytime soon?"
Steve frowned. "It's not even eleven yet. You hungry?"
"Starving, actually," Danny replied.
Steve rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said. "Time to start making some then."
"Good, I'll bring more beer," Danny said and turned on his heel, heading back inside.
"Hey, Danno?" Steve stopped him.
"What?"
Steve shifted his gaze to Danny. "I love you, brother."
"Love you too," Danny said, smiling, before disappearing in the doorway.
Steve stood there for a little while longer and looked around one more time before heading to the kitchen to take what he needed. Everyone seemed to resume their conversations and enjoy the great weather and light mood.
His eyes stopped on Catherine, who was glancing in his direction, and he flashed her a smile. Her face lit up and her lips curled into a smile too. Looking at her Steve realized how much he'd missed her in the past years of his life and he couldn't be more grateful to have her around.
Not only her. All of them. The whole Five-0 team, the cousins Kamekona and Flippa, young Nahele, Duke and Noelani, Danny's amazing children, and the best soul brother one could ever ask for. The ohana he wasn't even sure he deserved.
He felt content that they'll always be there for him, to lift him up when he falls. Just like he'll always be there for every single one of them. Until the end, no matter what.
They never for one second lost faith in him when he did. They were the anchor he needed not to drown in sorrow. His light in the darkness. Every morning they reminded him it was a new day, a new reason to fight through it in the hope for better tomorrow. Step by step, day by day.
The future was a blank. How he'd gotten out of this alive, what will happen next, he had no idea. But Steve knew that whatever was to come, he would be facing it with them. And that was all that mattered.
*THE END*
I hope you enjoyed reading this long story and I'd really appreciate your reviews.
MAHALO and ALOHA