Disclaimer: I don't own the Victorious characters, Schneider's bakery and Nickelodeon does. I'm just using them cause this felt like a little fun, and I wanted to publish something.
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"Just relax." Rob urged the pale girl. He'd been her sole source of contact from the gang for the last five years, ever since they'd finally given up trying to stay in contact with each other. But Robbie and Cat stayed close to each other, and Rob, for whatever reason, stayed close to Jade.
"Really?" Jade wondered again. She'd been planning on spending the day going over scripts for her next possible project when he called. In a strange way, the blue eyed girl owed her success, any of it, to the Jewish boy.
Back in collage, before the gang broke up, before Beck broke it off from her, she'd started going to comedy workshops with the nerdy one. It had helped her create when the world was too real, and her own demons screamed into the night. When Beck broke up with her, sighting the distance, with him in New York, and her in Los Angeles, it was comedy, that funny way people shared their pain, that got her through. When Cat went and married that guy she'd only kinda knew for a short while, despite Jade's warnings, it had been comedy that helped both her and Robbie. Through the pain and drama, Rob had turned into her best friend in the world, and Jade hadn't realized it. Then, she did, and she found that, despite being isolated from her other high school friends, she was okay.
Now, fiver years after her early graduation, at twenty six, Jade was doing spectacularly. Her dark sense of humor had mixed with her imagination about different films, and she'd struck at the right time, when comic relief in serious films was making a comeback. Jade's movies were becoming a hit.
But it wasn't just the success that mattered. Robbie had been the one to hold her when her pet bunny died. He'd been the one to listen when her father very publicly disowned her. And Jade had helped him get drunk when Cat announced she'd fallen for that shallow former boy band member James Diamond, leading to them discovering they were closer to brother and sister then just friends. (Embarrassing to realize your with this hot woman, and screwing her would be totally wrong. Especially when your drunk.)
Jade had introduced the boy to every girl he'd dated since Cat, as well as a few who couldn't see past the weird to the great man underneath. So when Robbie had insisted she be his escort ("Nothing funny, I promise") to the American Artists Music Awards, she couldn't say no.
Tori was one of the headlining acts. Jade wasn't as invisible as directors, or even writer directors used to be, since in the modern age, such creators could gather quite the following. But Tori was the one everyone knew. Even Robbie, who was working as a stand up comedian, supplementing his income by being Jade's most reliable character actor, wasn't nearly as well known as Tori, despite the fact that the Latina was maybe the third best voice in the group, behind Cat ('She's always been better then me, damn it') and Jade herself. But Rob had two tickets, cause all kinds of celebrities get them, and Jade had made sure her best friend was a celebrity. So Jade went, and sat and watched as Tori sang her latest hit, accompanied by her writing partner and lead guitarist, Andre Harris. ("Okay, maybe fourth best, cause Dre, he can sing.')
Now, after the show, Robbie insisted on hitting a couple of the after events. Jade wanted to catch up with Andre, but instead of heading back and seeing if she could maybe get a few minutes of the musicians time, she'd been dragged off to the limo, and form there, to some party. Now, Robbie was shifting events, and Jade found herself in the uncomfortable position of following behind her unusually peppy friend.
'I don't get it, Rob's an angry drunk.' Jade again pondered the boy attitude. 'It's why we get along when we drink. We both have a LOT of reasons to hate the world...'
"And we're here." Robbie announced, pointing to the gathering they'd just entered. Jade hated to admit it, but she was impressed. It was the Wade Collins after party. Not the biggest star, he'd still managed to date Ginger Fox for a while, causing his start to rise enough that his parties were both semi legendary, and invitation only. Already, she could count over a dozen celebrities in attendance.
"Yo, Rob, over here." Andre called, and Jade realized she'd been set up.
"Trying to mend fences?" The goth asked her friend.
"More like return a favor owed a dozen times over." The comedian said. "Come, lets see if Dre did his part, or are we just here to people watch."
They made it to the table, despite three different known, named celebrities attempting to talk to Jade. 'Lesson three hundred and ninety two, I'm still a mover and shaker, and a lot of these people would love to have some of my magic in their careers.' She thought as a former teen star flipped her off, letting her know that some people got more mileage out of their defiant image then a maybe shot at a television appearance. 'TV, movies, man, I had no idea I did so much, until someone pointed out I do.' She smiled at Robbie, who she was determined to build a television pilot around, just to keep him near. 'Never know when the dragon will rage again, and I'll need my best friend.'
"So, you brought her, huh?" Andre greeted. "Um, where's Rex?"
"Puppet and I parted ways a few years ago." Robbie said. "Jade helped me see I didn't need him, and he just left. Kinda sad, cause he seemed to real, but I guess, without him, I got all the attention in my act. I needed that."
"I just helped you lean how to be you without him." Jade shrugged. "So, Dre, hows life in Tori's shadow?"
"Better then life could be." The musician replied, taking no insult from the pale girls words. "Beck's doing okay on Broadway, but he doesn't like the musicals. Does great in 'em, when he tries, but he hates that kind of play. Loves him the serious stuff. Only, the fans, they want the show, the music. So, he does what he can."
"And Cat?" Jade asked.
"Still dating that proctologist." Andre said. "Kinda broken up after mister Diamond turned out to be just another has been. But she rebounded well enough, and is living her life, kinda, as a member of the Lima PTA. Can't believe she chose to live there."
"Cat can be a simple girl." Rob defended his one time crush. "She just wanted the simple life, and 'Sing' made it seem such a good place to have a family."
"And all the characters in that show were dreaming of getting out." Jade added. "So it's just us, huh?"
"Now Jade, lets not get all violent, kay." Andre said, suddenly letting her know this was a trap. "Thing is, Rob and I, we kinda set you up."
"As in…?" Jade led, wishing she still carried scissors. But the cost of a little mischief went up when she started having money.
"Just a date." Robbie assured her. "I'm tired of you always being alone. Plus, if you don't like the girl I'm romancing, you're more of a deterrent then Rex ever was."
"Just looking out for a friend." Jade shrugged. "So whats this looser like anyways?"
"What loser?" Tori Vega, pop princess and marketing marvel asked. Yes, she put on a spectacular live show, and she was beyond grateful for all her success, but Jade hadn't gotten over how she was far from the most talented of their group.
'Better singer then Rob here, and yes, probably Beck, but there were several much better then her. Hell, after I worked my ass off training her for that role, Trina actually sounded good...and holy chiz, NO!' Realization hit the pale girl hard. "NO!"
"No what?" Tori asked. "Wait, their setting you up, right? Tell me, what kind of Thoroughbred loser are they setting you up with now?"
Jade almost smiled as she regarded her one time rival. "You."
/
"Wait, what?" Tori blinked, looking from friend to friend to frenimy. "Did you say me, as in this is a setup?"
"Looks like." Jade replied.
"You two seem to be getting along, so why don't we just..." Andre started, but froze at the glare Jade leveled his way. He could feel the cold, sharp edge of he iceberg growing behind him, the results of the cold Jade was emanating. "Look, Tor, you've been alone a while now, and we figured..." He glanced over to make sure Robbie hadn't fled. 'He's just sitting there, within easy scissor distance. What's going on with him...'
"Dre, relax." Robbie said, his voice calm. "Jade, lets be honest, you're a hard woman to love. Lordy knows, I tried. Only, as we've discovered, far to often, it's possible to be siblings without the blood connection. So, sis, I decided to find the one person I knew you could be happy with." He flashed a strange grin, and somehow that unsettled Tori even more then this new, confident Robbie did. "Only, Tawney Walker-Black, turns out she's fictional, so I just looked up Tori here, and decided that we'd go with what we knew would work."
"Really?" Tori asked the boy. "You're going with that?"
"So you decided to set me up?" Jade asked, and for some reason, there wasn't a growl in her voice, or some horrific implied threat of being buried in the nearest desert.
"Like you've done for me how many times?" Robbie asked. "Lets start with the first, shall we? That Norhtiridge girl you got to date me for those three weeks, until we decided that it was just about the sex." An odd smile, different, almost mature, grew across the boys face. "Did you know we still exchange Christmas cards? And get this, like me, she's Jewish."
"So you thought Vega and me might just hook up?" Jade sounded more upset by the though of hooking up, something that struck Tori as odd.
"We both know that would never work, or you'd have been all over that Casey girl we met in Vegas that one time." Robbie countered. "No, you needed, need something long term, and being the last fling some girl has before she marries her high school sweetheart was never gonna sit well with you. So, figuring you could do worse, and lets be honest, has Tori ever done better...?" He held his hands out to offer a shrug.
"Hay, I resent that!" Tori proclaimed.
"Didn't she date Beck for a while?" Jade queried.
"No, we're just friends." Tori said.
"Then yea, she really hasn't." Andre said. Then, he caught Tori's near nuclear glare 'Thank god for something to melt this ice.' He punned to himself. "Be honest, Tor, you really have had the worst luck in finding guys."
"Not saying you're wrong..." Tori started.
"Cause he's not." Jade teased.
"… But what makes you think I'm into Jade?" Tori continued.
"You told me you though Lindsey Lohan was do-able." The boy noted. "And in the right light, they kinda loo alike. Plus, if your gonna go for an unstable girl, why not the goth you know, right?"
"BECAUSE SHE HATE'S ME!" Tori roared, then shrank, suddenly aware of the party, and the other celebrities, that surrounded them. But the outburst, while it drew glances, didn't do much more then remind people that this group had arrived and was taking up a corner when there was celebrating to be done. "Because she hates me." Tori repeated.
"But Love and Hate, sometimes, their opposite sides of the same coin." Robbie argued.
"Just not the same side." Jade said, but she seemed more amused then angry.
"I take it that wasn't a hard no then?" Rob asked the girl, and Dre contemplated just leaping under the table.
"Wait, are you seriously considering this?" Tori whisper demanded of the other girl.
"Not if you say no." Jade told her. "I've grown to the point where I no longer kidnap my perspective lovers. Kinda a bad image, and people have access to lawyers now. You'd be amazed at what they'll sue over."
Tori rolled her eyes. 'Tell me about it. My opening act from last summer, she went and had a wardrobe malfunction, and the promoter wanted to sue. She didn't show anything, except the granny panties she'd chosen to wear that evening, and no child is gonna be corrupted by granny panties. But the promoter wanted to sue, along with half a dozen political groups. Parental rights, the kind of people who will let their kiddies go to a rock show unsupervised, but if they hear of a flash of panties, it's on. Then there was the protests..."
"I had that group of stuck up ganks, Trillion Moms, protesting my movie, cause I used an author who wanted an alternate earth where Christianity never dominated. It was too idealistic, and they hated that he believed that, without the aggressive Christian church, we'd have advanced so much faster." Jade shared. "It was a fucking TV movie, and they protested it anyways. What is wrong with people these days?"
Andre felt Robbie pulling his shoulder. "Looks like our job is done." The former nerd whispered in the musicians ear. "Lets go see if Christa is here, cause I could use a little comfort after standing up to Jade like that."
Andre followed, watching as the two girls bonded over how bad people could be, especially to celebrities. "I can't believe you stood up to her like that." The boy muttered.
"We're friends now." Rob said with a shrug. "But I still remember who she was, how damaged she can be, which is why I suggested this match up. I'm just glad you believed me when I said they'd get along."
"I was thinking the same thing, earlier, and just didn't know how to approach the problem." Andre admitted. "So, that Christa girl you're seeing is great." The musician shifted, nervous about the next question. "Does she have a sister, or maybe a friend kinda like her?"
"Tori never sets you up?" Robbie asked.
"She doesn't feel like she should risk losing a friend or two." Andre shrugged.
"I guess that's Jade's secret." Robbie said. "Jade just doesn't have that many friends, so when I'm single, she sets me up with anyone she hears about who she feels might work." A large smile crossed his face. "And in more then one case, it did."
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This aged for a while on my hard drive, and now that it's got that right tang, I felt like sharing it. Please review.