A/N To clear any confusion that there may be Naruto's Fourth Year was Sabotaged by Mizuki, whose skill at subtle text altering and headache inducing Genjutsu was good enough to fool Iruka, who has far more talent at detecting Genjutsu than Naruto. This chapter is pseudo-filler I apologize if you find it boring.
Present Day Road to Konoha:
"Did you have something to do with the team formation?"
"That was actually all Kakashi. He pitched the idea as 'Team Doujutsu'. That and he said those three together would have no weak ranges; Hinata as close range Taijutsu specialist Naruto as mid range Taijutsu/Ninjutsu user and Sasuke as a long rang Ninjutsu specialist. He said he wanted to create the perfect team."
"And the council let him get away with it?"
"The council was putting a lot of pressure on Kakashi to train Sasuke; they were trying to get him to automatically pass Sasuke. When he flat out refused to skip his test, they tried to appease him by letting him pick the two he wanted to train in hopes that it would make him more likely to pass them. Besides by this point the council realized that they'd have to pair them up or Sasuke would be mad"
"What was Hinata's reaction?" Shizune interrupted; once more she seemed more interested in Naruto's love life than the politics and intrigue that surrounded him.
"Well…"
Konoha Twelve Months, Thirteen Days Ago:
"Team seven will be, Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata."
A soft thump, from the back of the class, was heard over the sound of the crushed hopes of the girls in the class. Hyuuga Hinata had passed out when Iruka sensei had announced that she was the third member of team seven. "Oh, no! Hinata fainted again, will she be alright sensei?" The ever oblivious Naruto had rushed to the back of the class to help his new teammate up. When she woke up in his arms she fainted again. "She's burning up Sensei, shouldn't she see a doctor?"
"You really are an idiot aren't you Fishcake?" Sasuke was already getting fed up with the antics of his teammates. He hoped the constant contact as teammates would stop her fainting spells. Naruto, on the other hand, Sasuke believed there was no hope for. If he hadn't figure out how she felt despite four years of constant stalking, fainting, blushing, and stuttering around him, he probably would manage to misunderstand an 'I love you.'
"What are you talking about Duck-butt she could be really sick!" Naruto said while placing her on the bench between him and Sasuke.
"I-I-I'm f-fine Naruto-kun, don't w-worry about m-me." Hinata had woken up and was fighting her urge to blush and faint, 'I can't faint every time I'm close to Naruto-kun! I'm one step closer to me dream! I can't screw up now.'
After half an hour of waiting all of their classmates had been picked up by their Jonin-sensei. After an hour Naruto started banging his head on the table. "No, no, no, no, no!"
"N-N-Naruto, w-what's wrong?"
"He just figured out who our sensei is, no doubt. It took him long enough"
"WHY? Why? Why? Why?" Naruto was sobbing now. "Do I really have to spend every day waiting hours for that lazy slacker? Even Shikamaru gets things done faster!"
"Well it makes sense that he would want to train me, and he used to train you, before he got 'demoted' by Jiraiya, but why did he pick Hinata?"
"U-Um who are y-you talking a-about?'
"Hatake Kakashi, laziest Jonin ever, he's always at least three hours late to everything…" suddenly smiling Naruto continued, "which means I still have two hours to set a trap!" Cackling evil Naruto removed a sealing scroll from his pocket; the label read 'traps'. After opening the scroll, Naruto unsealed the contents revealing: several dozen spools of ninja wire, sixty feet of metal chain, a small mountain of kunai, various exploding tags, seven gallons of pink acrylic paint, ten gallons of orange paint, an industrial sized barrel of glue, a fifteen pound sack of glitter, five metal buckets, a five gallon can of cherry syrup, a crossbow with various quarrels including several with suction cup heads, a large bear trap, an actual kitchen sink, three rubber chickens, whoopee cushions of various sizes, a ninja log, three cinderblocks, four large rocks, various rubber bands including one seven feet across, a thirty pound sack of flour, a large stack of pre-made 'kick me' signs each with a different persons handwriting, including, Hinata noticed, both hers and Sasuke's, a twelve shelf spice rack crammed with various spices and powders, three coconuts, a large watermelon, thirty bags of balloons, a large anvil, an old boot, and finally there were eight identical thirty gallon drums, each with a different label; water, paint thinner, lye, oil, soap (liquid), milk (sour), bleach, and honey.
Staring at the mountain of stuff Sasuke said, "You carry all this around with you everyday fishcake?" Sasuke was suddenly glad he hadn't made an enemy of Naruto.
"Well duh, you never know when the opportunity for a good prank arises!" said Naruto cheerfully as he seemingly randomly began stabbing kunai into the ceiling and the walls.
As he worked Hinata asked, "W-W-What e-exactly are you g-going to do to h-h-him?" some of the things in Naruto's, admittedly impressive, eclectic pile of things could really hurt someone. It seemed rather extreme, after all Hinata was a patient person three hours of waiting didn't seem so bad.
Naruto had mad an intricate web of ninja wire on the ceiling, handing the end of it to Sasuke he said, "You'll see, here hold this for me Sasuke." Naruto began pulling random things out of the pile and arranging them in smaller piles. An hour and forty-five minutes Naruto's trap was almost done. Naruto tied a loop of ninja wire around a blackboard eraser, after dusting the eraser with itching powder; Naruto wedged it between the panels of the sliding door. Five seconds after Naruto finished his last check of the trap Kakashi opened the door, the eraser landed directly on his head.
Stepping all the way into the room Kakashi managed to say, "Well my first impression is…" before the rest of the trap went off, first was the pink paint, followed closely by a bucket full of glitter that landed upside down on his head, next the watermelon landed on the bucket, mildly dazed Kakashi stumbled forward a step, tripping the wire that set off the next part of the trap, the large loop of ninja wire under his feet pulled closed, dragging him upside down into the air. Bucket now hanging by his chin Kakashi glared daggers at them all, before he could speak the crossbow went of the suction cup tipped dart coated in glue, hit Kakashi right between the eyes, "I hate you all."
Sasuke wondered why Kakashi was glaring at him in particular, when he realized something he was still holding the wire Naruto handed to him, letting go of the wire like it was on fire, Sasuke inadvertently set off the final stage of the trap. Kakashi, still upside down, dropped onto the bear trap which was sitting in the middle of a large puddle of cherry syrup. Kakashi stood up shakily, bucket back over his eyes bear trap lodged in the bucket, with his voice echoing inside the bucket Kakashi said, "Meet me on the roof now."
"Fishcake I'm going to kill you!" Sasuke growled at Naruto. He had thought the trap amusing, up until he realized he'd been set up as the fall guy.
"Did you see the look on his face? That was priceless!" Naruto was rolling on the floor laughing, "I haven't gotten anyone that good in ages!"
Hinata was trying hard not to laugh at what Naruto had done to their sensei, sure it was the funniest thing she remembered seeing in a long time but she had seen the 'kick me' sign taped to the back of the bucket, in what she would swear was her own handwriting, she wondered how the blond managed to forge her handwriting good enough to fool herself. "N-N-Naruto-kun…how d-did y-you forge my h-h-handwriting like th-th-that?"
"Oh that's easy, I paint it."
"What do you mean fishcake?" Sasuke had noticed sign too.
"It's like making a seal. I treat each letter like it's a volatile seal that blows up unless I get it perfect, give me a sample to memorize and I can forge anyone's handwriting. Come on; let's get up to the roof."
On the roof Kakashi was fuming, he'd seen the eraser of course, and decided to humor Naruto. But instead of chalk dust it was itching powder, and it only got worse from there. Take for example the bear trap that had bitten into the bucket that had been on his head. Or the acrylic paint in his hair. It would take hours to get it out of his hair, he'd be damned if he had to ge ta hair cut because of this. After having to wait ten minutes they finally arrived on the roof. "Okay introductions first. Let's get to know each other."
"W-W-What do you mean s-sensei?"
"Oh you know likes, dislikes, hobbies, hopes and dreams, stuff like that"
"Why don't you go first sensei," Sasuke was trying to be polite after Naruto's attempted framing.
"Well… my name is Hatake Kakashi, my likes and dislikes are personal, dreams for the future hmm…you're too young to know what my hobbies are, there who's next?"
Naruto rolled his eyes at Kakashi's non-introduction, "He likes salt-broiled saury and miso soup with eggplant and being lazy, he hates sweets and people who abandon the mission and people who abandon their friends he hates more, his hobbies are being late and reading porn in public, and he dreams of being three hours late to his own funeral." Naruto was looking smug at the light he shed on their sensei's personality. "Anyways My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen and training! I hate having to wait,' he glared at Kakashi, "for anything, and people with no sense of humor. My hobbies are training and pranks I guess. My dream is to become the strongest ninja ever, and have the village finally acknowledge my existence, before electing me Hokage!"
Hinata was next, "M-My N-Name is H-Hyuuga Hinata, I like r-red bean s-soup and cinnamon b-buns and…"her voice trailed off and she looked at Naruto out of the corner of her eye before continuing, "I d-dislike shellfish, and hate b-bullies. I h-hope to become s-self c-confident and m-my d-dream is to ch-ch-change the way my clan is r-r-run when I b-b-become clan head. My h-hobby is p-pressing flowers I guess."
Sasuke went last, "Hn. My name is Uchiha Sasuke, the last of the Uchiha, I like tomatoes, and hate traitors, I hope to kill the person who killed my clan, and I dream of rebuilding my clan. Hobbies? Training with Naruto I guess."
Kakashi was mildly impressed with Sasuke's speech, he sounded livelier then he expected, granted he was expecting nothing after the 'Hn.' Maybe he could stomach teaching them after all. "all right take the rest off the day off! We'll meet at Training Ground Seven at five in the morning for your final exam!"
"Oi Pinky! We already graduated! What do we need another test for?" Naruto jumped up at the mention of another test. He didn't suffer through four years at the academy only to fail now.
"heh-heh. You'll love this. See this test has a sixty-six percent failure rate, twenty-seven of you graduated, after tomorrow there will only be nine. The rest have to repeat another year at the academy."
"THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FINAL EXAM THEY MADE US TAKE?"
"To see if you have the potential to be ninja's, tomorrow's test is to see who has the skill to be a ninja right now." Kakashi stood to leave, "oh, and you might want to skip breakfast, or else you'll probably throw up." Kakashi eye-smiled at them, "sleep well," he said while waving over his shoulder.
As Hinata and Sasuke stood up to leave Naruto stopped them, "guys don't bother waking up till six, and make sure you eat breakfast early, if there's a chance we really will throw up the solution is to make sure your food digests before you get there. Kakashi-ojisan won't get there until nine at the earliest. I'll see you there." Naruto ran off to prepare for the next day.
Konoha Twelve Months, Twelve Days Ago:
Arriving at nine-fifteen, Naruto was the last of his team to get to training ground seven. "What's up? You guys sleep well?"
"Well enough Fishcake, what about you?"
"I slept fine what about you Hinata did you remember to eat?"
"Y-Y-Yes N-Naruto-kun, I slept v-very well, and I g-got to have a cinnamon b-bun for breakfast!" Hinata said brightly.
"Hey guys! Good morning!" Kakashi strolled into the clearing, humming to himself.
"Your late!" Naruto groused, half-heartedly, "So what's this big test?"
Kakashi held up two bells, "You have until noon to get one of these from me, the one who doesn't get a bell by noon, well" Kakashi said grinning wickedly behind his mask, "Not only do they fail they get no lunch and the ones who pass get to eat lunch in front of them while they're tied to this log tied to this log. Come at me with intent to kill or you won't pass." Perhaps not the smartest thing to say to this group but Kakashi was sure he could handle anything they could throw at him. "The test begins…Now"