Anastasia's P.O.V.-
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us, Anny?" Kate and Jose were waiting by the door for me. I spun my chair around so they could see me shake my head. "No, thanks. I think I'll just head home tonight," I wasn't a night owl by any stretch of the imagination. "Well, if you're sure," Kate sighed; they were on their way to get something to eat after a gruelling study section. As for me, I just wanted to go home, have a warm shower, and hop into bed.
"Have a good night, Anny." "Yeah, we'll see you tomorrow," Jose tacked on. "See you tomorrow. Have fun, be safe," we waved until they were out the door. I gave a heavy sigh and spun back around to my desk. It was still covered with papers and cheat sheets. Choosing to call it a night myself, I started gathering them up and putting them into my backpack. I was almost done when…
"Going home, slut?" Oh god, no… My eyes reluctantly peered over my shoulder to see two other girls on their way out. None of them were Clarise or her friends from earlier today, but they were still some of her friends. They shot me insidious looks- course. It took everything I had not to roll my eyes. They elbowed each other in the rib cage. "I bet she's going to fuck her boyfriend." "You mean her "boy toy". Sex-crazed whores like her don't have boyfriends." "You're right. She's probably gonna sleep with at least five guys tonight." "I was thinking more like ten."
"Are you done?" I snapped, finally having enough of their mockery. I'm still a virgin, for god's sake! "Just one more. You know males aren't allowed to stay overnight in our dorm rooms, right?" "Oh, she knows; she just doesn't care. Such is the way of the slut. Haha, come on, Ivy," the duo made their way out, laughing the entire way. I watched them until they left, waiting until I knew for sure they were gone before turning back around. My head was down, and my eyes were low.
Dammit all; this isn't my fault. I never asked for any of this! Five guys confess to me in one school year and despite me rejecting them all outright, I'm still considered the biggest slut on campus. My hands balled into tight, angry fists. This is stupid; why am I getting upset? After all, they're only doing this because they're jealous of me. It's so obvious, it's almost painful. And yet, do they even know what they're jealous of? "Those morons…." I heard myself sigh.
What they didn't know, what none of them knew is that none of the boys asked me out because of me. I barely even talked to any of them: the stallion, the elephant, the panda, the deer, or the walrus. I didn't know any of their names, and two of them didn't know mine. Yet they still ironically confessed their "love" for me. Love, ha! There's no love there; love doesn't come into the equation.
I went to the bathroom on the way out to wash my hands. Despite their purity, I still felt… dirty somehow. While in there, I gazed up into the mirror; I stared at my reflection and reflected. No, love and affection for me have nothing to do with it. Male herbivores are attracted to me for one thing. One, simple thing. My inherent weakness. That's what they all liked about me so much; not my personality or even what I look like. It all comes down to strength, or lack of it in my case.
While most female herbivores take pride in their body strength, that's not what males are attracted to. When it comes to female herbivores, the weaker you are, the more attractive you become to the male gaze. And what's more attractive than a defenceless, frail, fragile, little lamb like myself? That's what those stupid girls don't get. "I don't even know what he sees in you; I'm like a hundred times stronger than you!" They don't understand that female strength and power isn't viewed as an asset in the planet-eater kingdom.
My fingers slowly lifted up to caress the side of my cheek; it's the cheek where Bill kissed me when I turned my head away. I didn't want to kiss him; I don't want anything to do with him. That's how it always is, and yet, I still get labelled a "slut" anyway. It really doesn't matter if I sleep with them or not. But I don't want to give them what they're really looking for, and it's not sex funnily enough. No, all these men who want weak girls like me have something else in mind.
Unlike carnivores who go into beast-mode, herbivores have what's called a "protective instinct". I actually think carnivores have it too, but definitely not for herbivores like me I'm sure. The protective instinct is enacted when someone the animal cares for is in peril, and the weaker the object of protection is- aka, me- the stronger the protector becomes. It's an evolutionary adaptation that helps males protect their mates; although females also have this mode in regard to their children or sometimes mates too. I've certainly never experienced it before.
It's like a constant contest of strength here at school. All the herbivores, particularly the males, show off their physical potency to each other and ranking one another accordingly. It helps nothing that there are also pretty strong carnivores on campus as well. Having me, or any other considerably weak animal by their side is supposed to make them stronger, which helps them in this sick, twisted competition. I'm like a prop they use to make themselves stronger…. I wanted to punch the mirror in that moment but knew it would slice my hand up pretty bad.
They're more than willing to use me, and I utterly hate that.
Contrary to their selfish, self-serving beliefs, being naturally weak sucks. Male herbivores take one look at me and think "I need to protect her. She's so weak and precious, like a glass doll. I have to keep her safe". But it's not for my sake; it's never for my sake. And on top of that, carnivores see me and think I'm an easy meal cause I can't fight bad. It's horrible because either way, I lose. Being weak has never advantaged me in my life; not once. I'm just so sick as being seen as helpless, little girl. I may be a lamb, but I'm not just a lamb. My physical feebleness doesn't define me- I won't let it!
Upset, I snatched up my backpack and marched straight outside. It was dark out by now- very dark. This made me pause for a moment as I formulated a plan in my head. I may not want my lack of strength to define me, but I also have to remember that I am a lamb. And there are some very large predators around. Hmmmmm, maybe this wasn't my best idea ever; and especially when a student recently died here on campus too. Ok, I'll stay on the stone pathway and not make a sound. I can rush back to the dorm house safely if I try and be super careful.
With a deep breath in, I decided upon this strategy and took my first step onto the path. I had no clue at the time that this walk home would drastically change my life, both for the worst and absolute better.