Christian's P.O.V.-
"Hey, look at that." "Did he accidently bring her here thinking she was food?" "The prey is acting a little too relaxed for that." "Was this a dare?" These animals know we can hear them, right?
A drop of sweat rolled down the side of my neck while I sipped water from my cup. This whole experience set in an array of conflicting and competing emotions. On the one hand, I was so happy just to be sitting here in the cafeteria with her… the lamb I couldn't stop thinking about for the past month. But on the other hand, we had been getting weird looks since the moment we arrived. Not only was this my first time eating in here since the fight, but it was my first time eating with an herbivore like her. Of course we were going to draw attention; I'd never seen a pair like us eat together before either. A wolf and a lamb… That just doesn't happen, even as friends. Not that I'd ever ask her to be anything more than just friends! Assuming she didn't want to be…
The lamb, whom I still didn't know the name of, seemed much, much calmer than me. She happily ate her slice of cake and berries, looking and grinning at me in between bites. How can she be so relaxed? I guess I look that way to her too, considering I was very composed on the outside. But on the inside, my mind was going into meltdown mode once more. Not that she knew that, and that's how I wanted it to stay; I wanted her to think I was as mentally calm as she was. Despite that being far from the truth…..
I think she started to catch on that something wasn't right a couple of minutes into our meal, when she paused to glance up at me. It hadn't occurred to me that I hadn't eaten anything in front of her yet- I didn't know how I felt about eating where she could see me….. "Is everything alright?" She asked, making me flinch. "H-huh?" "You're being awfully quiet." "O-oh, I hadn't noticed," I lied through my teeth. Of course I noticed; what was I supposed to say to her? I was already repenting from the bottom of my soul. With everything that has happened, I thought I would at least be able to do this… to finally have a conversation with the angel I've been waiting to see for so long. But… oh god, I was completely wrong. I kept thinking that I might be able to move forward, but I haven't moved at all. Dammit, I got too full of myself. Nothing about me has changed! After all…. I still can't ask her what her name is.
"Mmmmm, this is good!" She beamed. While my face was as calm and stoic as ever, the meltdown continued with a vengeance inside of me. How do you ask a herbivore's name? Why do I even want to ask her name? What reason is there for a wolf to ask a lamb what her name is? What's her name?!
Again, the lamb stopped eating for a moment. She set her fork down and looked at me with sympathetic eyes. A small, sad grin bloomed across her beautiful lips. "Is this about that game? The game against the Chargers?" "Huh?" This definitely caught my undivided attention. That game? Why would she bring that up now? "I heard it might be weird for you to come into the cafeteria again. My friend said he felt the same way. I'm sorry; I couldn't think of anywhere else to eat." What the heck is she talking about? What's happening right now?
"I know what happened at the game." What? What do you mean you know what happened at the game? Who you told that?! It was only Paul, Jack, the faculty, and me who know about the lamb's blood. How'd she find out?! And how is she not freaking out about it right now? "I wasn't at that particular game, but I heard about the fight, and the suspension. Sorry to hear that. What started it anyway, if you know!" Oh… oh, so she doesn't know, then? She only knows that there was a fight; not what caused it. I secretly squirmed in my chair a bit. "U-uh, oh….. n-nothing; it's just one of those things. These kinds of things happen in football games," I couldn't look her in the eye while saying this; I was rubbing the back of my neck so hard. "I guess; fights also happen in hockey, so why not in football?" She stated her flawed logic, but like hell I was going to correct her now. "Yeah….." My eyes gazed down at my lap. Man, talk about awkward. I don't think I'll ever tell her the truth…. Even I can't handle it.
Anastasia's P.O.V.-
The wolf's reaction to this topic made me shudder inside a little. Oh no, perhaps I shouldn't have brought it up. Stupid! It's a sensitive matter with Paul; why would it be any different with him? He's been so quiet, if not a little aloof since we got here. I didn't want to make things more awkward between us. Maybe that's why he hasn't touched his food yet….
I smiled, trying to be as reassuring as possible; I wanted him to like being around me. I… I want to get closer to him. "A-aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten anything yet," wait to cut to the chase there, Anastasia. His eyes shifted around a bit and for the first time since we got here, his expression revealed a hint of apprehension. "I-I'll eat," he picked up his fork and slowly lifted some egg up to his mouth. Oh good, he's eating finally. I grinned for real this time and continued to eat my cake. I also wanted to continue talking to him but didn't really know what to say. He's so much stronger than me, but he seems like a really nice guy. That, and whenever I'm around him, I feel… it's almost impossible to describe. I just get all happy inside for some bizarre reason. I have no clue where all these feelings come from or why they're there. But they are… I gazed back up at him gently. All it takes is one look, and there they are.
It was around this time that I noticed him stop eating again. He watched me, or rather my face, as his fork softly lowered- so did his eyes. Wait, why'd he stop eating? Gasp! Is it because I'm eating too? Does it make him feel weird to see an herbivore chew down in front of him? I am… a lamb, after all. But what does that have to do with anything? We're just having a meal together- that's all. A meal with a guy…. who I can't even ask his name. Ugh, this gets stranger the more I think about it.
I guess he saw that I had also stopped eating, and it's like he forced himself to finish his food. I wanted to return the jester by eating up the rest of my food, which we did in relative silence. But I didn't want to live in this uncomfortable silence for long. All I wanted to do was to talk to him, hear the sound of his dominant voice…. I don't know why I liked hearing it so much, but I did. And it looked like I had to make the first move.
My smile returned to face as I gazed up at him once more. "I-I… I wanted to thank you… er, I mean I'm glad we could talk again." He stared at me with that patient expression, so I saw fit to continue. My cheek rested in my palm. "I know this must be a difficult time for you, what with the football season being suspended and all. But I'm still glad I got to see you again; I was hoping I would…. before the semester is over." "Uh….." Uh? What kind of reaction is that? Well, what did I expect? He is a wolf; this is probably one of the weirdest things to happen to him. I don't even know if he likes me…
Christian's P.O.V.-
Oh, way to go, Christian; why don't you just insult her outright next time? I mean, I know what she's trying to say, but… I don't even know her name, so I feel like this distance keeps growing between us. And I hate it. I feel like I'm drifting away from her….. What should I do? I really want to know her name but I'm afraid she'll get scared if I outright ask it. I'm a wolf, for crying out loud. I have no right to ask anything of her… But…. I don't know her name; I really don't know anything about her aside from she's editor of the journalism club and loves flowers. Maybe I just need to stop overthinking it; she won't get scared if I ask in a nonconfrontation way. Is now the time? Should I finally ask her?
I need to close the distance!
"U-uh…. um….?" "Hmmmm, what is it?" She perked up. Oh, crap; I internally winced. This is harder than fighting that stupid tiger. "A-are you heading home after this?" She nodded. "Yes. How about you?" "I am," I concurred. "Then how about we walk together?" Walk…. together? Walk with her? Alongside her? How'd I win this jackpot all of a sudden?
We scrolled in no particular rush along the path towards her dorm house; mine was further up the way. In truth, I was glad she had someone escort her home. Since that night, and since Jack showed me that vial, I shuttered at the thought of her alone outside after dark. I wasn't the only carnivore on campus… and clearly some were less concerned with controlling their desires.
While it was a quiet walk, it was much more peaceful once we were outside the cafeteria. With just the two of us… everything felt easier somehow. We weren't judged for talking to each other on our own; we weren't judged at all, except for maybe ourselves. Still, I couldn't help feel this sense of joy swell up deep inside me. This only got stronger when she stopped to bend down on one knee. It looked like she was struggling with something on her shoe.
"Wait, hold on a minute," her fingers continued to fumble. I peered over her shoulder to see that she was trying to do up her shoelace; she couldn't see well in the dark like me. Realizing this, I didn't hesitate to come around side her and also get down on one knee. She straightened up as my long fingers reached down towards her foot. "Want me to help?" I asked, though didn't wait for her response. I tied her lace with relative ease, gently pulling my hands back once finished. "There," I grinned, leaning back a little.
That's when her head lifted up and our pupils met for the very first time. We'd seen each other's eyes before but not like this. Her lovely lips parted a sliver; her eyes sharpened. As for mine…. I simply couldn't look away. Her eyes… they're the most beautiful shade of blue I'd ever seen. I didn't know eyes could look like that… so breath-taking. I guess I'd been ogling for a bit too long cause she laughed nervously.
"W-what are you staring at?" Her voice was soft and soulful. I instantly shuffled back a little way from her, still staying at her eyelevel. "Sorry. This is just the first time I've seen your eyes this close…." She blushed; god, she's so stunning when she does that. "Your eyes are nice too; very deep. By the way, my name's Anastasia. What's yours?" Anastasia… what a beautiful name. It suited her perfectly. I think that's the best name I've ever heard for a girl…. My mouth opened as I reminded myself to breathe. "Christian." This made her smile…. dear lord, her smile.
I want to see you smile more; I want to see you do everything. I didn't know it was possible… to want so much at once.