Chapter 10

The wind whipped proudly in flurries through the red wings that glittered off the sun's ray. Peaking through the shaded tree along the bench that he sat under, the leaves rustled, ignoring the passing civilians that from time to time would call out his name. Excitedly in hope of a reaction or autograph that went unnoticed, lost in dejected thoughts from the world that passed him by. Unable to catch a grip on reality that mixed in with the heartbroken dreams that kept him awake all night. Tossing and turning, fighting off that shriek that sang from her the closer he got. Begging for forgiveness in the face of her anguish that tormented him hourly, awaking with a start, soaked in sweat.

Hawks couldn't focus long enough to remember patrols today, only that Endeavor would be enraged. And he couldn't care less for it or any lecture that would come, waiting outside the agency's tower for the number one hero so that it could begin. Calls from Miruko, the HPSC, and others bombarded his phone. Still lying in wait for an answer to his whereabouts, that he shamefully would not return anytime soon. There was no one that could distract from her face, envisioned through dull slited eyes that stared at the cement in longing.

Soon enough by the end of the day, he'd have to face her again. Wondering if the hatred would seeth from her lips in the same fashion that it screamed out the previous evening, if she bothered to even greet him like so, or would coldly turn away in disgust. Never hearing the tone so sweetly laugh. So offended, betraying every heartfelt moment they shared in the privacy of that room. But truly he could not blame her, for he was the one that originally betrayed her trust. Now painted out in transparency of the monster he was inside that from the beginning of this mission, working under the league, he swore to become for the greater good. A man without shame or honor.

Though the world wouldn't stop spinning for a second of self pity with work needed to be done, Endeavor storming out from the building in a furious rage. Fist clenched to meet his partner for an explanation who sat with his head bowed, bouncing one of his knees riddled with anxiety.

"Hawks!," he fummed loudly enough that people walking along the streets jumped back, careful to move away or go around the duo. Once in front of him receiving no reaction, he yanked the bird up by his forearm aggressively. Grimacing at the pathetic look on his face that appeared absent minded which only angered him further. "Where the hell have you been!? You skipped out on patrol yesterday, which may I remind, had everyone questioning what happened to you even more! You idiot, what's wrong with you!?"

His lips parted slightly, barely trying to conjure an excuse that was rightfully owed. But nothing came to mind, he hadn't the strength to argue or resist anything dealt right now as the words fell on themselves, unable to respond.

"Tch," Endeavor shoved him back hard into the bench, not bothering to check over his shoulder as he made way down the sidewalk. Flames shooting out in anger as people scrambled to move out of the way, scurrying off into shops or pressed against the wall. And not far off behind, Hawks shuffled after him lazily. Hands in his pockets, looking downcast. Purposely staying away from the eyes of those around without a thought to give an apologetic smile like usual. Or glamor with pictures together.

He couldn't see a silver lining, not even an ounce in those who dared to adore him. It was all fake, the persona. The person portrayed to them all cast a dark shadow behind that toothy grin and now more than ever, he genuinely wanted to throw away the title of number two hero. He was undeserving of it, with many others in line for the grabs. Their rally together not that long ago seemed distant in contrast to his boostful nature that challenged Endeavor to rise up above them all in the ranks and take charge. To be charismatic, charming and give hope to the people. Now even that was faded,

"Are you listening?," the man snapped, drawing him out from his train of thought.

"Hm?"

"I said we're going to U.A. today, so no typical stroll. I need to speak to Shoto about something."

Hawks raised an eyebrow, trying to keep from growing agitated at the idea of going there with his heart racing. That single place, where she had attended beside Endeavor's son in the same class. The same dorm. A funny reminder to slap in his face as the culprit behind all of this.

"And why am I coming along?," he sassed, not holding back the tone of annoyance.

"Because we're stuck together. Now shut up and don't give me any trouble."

Soon they embarked through streets of roadway signs leading to the train stations. Sure to choose an open and public route on purpose in case of criminal activity, not like they weren't on the job anyways. The sidewalk curved under the tall pavilion, distant from the outside city shops and cars passing. All noise from it drowned out in depression that had shown clearly on his face, the trains halting to a screech while other people exited. Their conversations loud and filled with joy, and he couldn't help but wonder if this was the same spot she had first come to the town, in detail that it was a trip to visit her grandparents that never happened.

As the doors opened, they stepped in, side by side with common folk that gawked at them in surprise. Their whispers heard, echoed off the metal walls with the sound of flashes from phones. Both postures from the two men were all too unfriendly to give a serious vibe, that they were handling business and not to be disturbed.

Thankfully the trip wouldn't be all that long, sitting towards the back of the train away from other people. Across from Endeavor who glared at him, currently uncomfortable by his partners recent change of demeanor and actions strange, out of character. But this self loathing skit had dragged on long enough with his last mistake caring to ask what the issue was. He would not this time, crossing his arms to follow Hawks gaze out the window as it began to move. Heaving along the tracks to depart.

Passing under bridges, watching the far off ocean, he tried to stay calm to keep his eyes locked onto the blue hue. Waves swaying with birds flying free, just as he wished he could be. Unplagued by the reflection staring back at him, leaning on his hand. It wasn't uncommon for he to view himself as a horrid creature out of all the shady dealings he had done in his life. But it cut deeper now, screaming out the truth in the disguise of her voice to remind him of the liar he was. So close, yet so cruel, to hold her heart in his hands and crush it into dust. Toying with the remnants and unphased by the girl who cried out on her knees. Tears dipped in sorrow by his own doing.

Hawks inhailed sharply, feeling uneasy as he pulled away from it. Running both hands through his hair roughly. Redness graced his face as he leaned his head back, growing further anxious by the minute. "Are we close?," he jeered, trying to hold back from tapping his foot.

In return his partner raised an eyebrow. "We just left. What the hell is wrong with you? Do rides make you nauseated?"

"Yes," he lied, letting out a deep breath.

Endeavor studied him, the sickly shade along his skin with deep seeded bags under his eyes. Nervous chewing on his bottom lip, avoiding the window. Wings overly droopy. If anything he guessed a fever due to the tint on his cheeks and the stress that was clearly exhibited.

"I could've flown there you know," he suddenly snapped, feeling a ting of panic rising at the close proximity of the seats. The walls near closing in and the scenery passed too fast. All of the world's sensations felt like too much at once, noticing every single detail as it became harder to breath.

"Too bad. Stop whining and lay back, I don't care. But don't you dare throw up."

oo

"I just can't help but wonder if she's alright.. If she's ever going to come back," Mina said sadly, scratching the side of her arm with the few students that were present today, only after their belongings to bring back home. Not all, but smaller necessary amounts since the school hadn't been open in days now while the faculty struggled to figure out a proper course of action. The reputation in shambles and their hero names tarnished, parents in a frenzy.

"Why should we be sitting on our asses again!? Someone explain that to me because if memory serves, we rescued Bakugou without a hitch!," Kirishima added, annoyed at the fellow students who didn't share that same fire. Only standing in solemn and defeat, the five of them unsure how to make it better.

Momo scowled at him, "This is different. We don't even know where she is."

They stood around with no solid agenda, randomly taking glances at Deku who remained quiet. Chest still torn open from Ochako's disappearance more than any one of them could understand. His appearance disheveled, dull in thoughts that all led to her cheerful greetings in the mornings and goodbyes in the afternoon that would make his day. Gone, replaced with hush whispers from friends that couldn't console it.

"My father's on his way right now. I'll ask him if he's heard any good news," Todoroki inquired, trying to make the best of things.

It was an awkward tension, the gates of the school unpleasant from days they'd arrive together. Halls ominous without the sound of students running throughout, sharing the space in excitement. None of the teacher's to give advice other than to stay out of the way, and keep to themselves at home. No one could go out alone or travel too far, especially on the weekends.

"Alright," Aizawa called from the dorm outer doorway, unlocking it to motion for the five of them to hurry along and gather what was needed. "That's enough chit chat. Let's get a move on."

He held the door open, waiting for them to come before two figures of the men arrived within the parking lot, halting everyone in their steps. Watching as Hawks and Endeavor marched through the gates. A flicker of hope sparked in Deku's eyes that Todoroki saw as he tried to reach out to stop the boy who ran over to them in desperation.

"Mr. Endeavor sir! Is there any news on Ochako's kidnapping!?," he huffed, scanning the man's face for a clue. Behind Hawks grew rigid, hands balled into fist within his pockets at the mention of that name. Surely this was her class, life's sick taunts continuing even when she wasn't here in person.

Immediately he stepped around Endeavor, not looking at the boy who also turned to him in discouragement as he walked past chin high. There was nothing he could say anyways that would offer solace at the situation, disregarding the other youths to make way towards the dorm building. Sensing Endeavor's eyes following him in confusion.

He moved past them all without uttering a word, all the way up to their teacher who scowled at him. "Hawks," he greeted casually. "Can I help you?"

"Can I see the girls room? The one that went missing in case there's any leads."

Aizawa gave him a strange look, eyes flickered at Endeavor from across the grounds who also seemed out of place at the request, pondering if it was alright. "Are you investigating it?"

His lips formed a thin line, nodding slowly. "You can say that."

Without a further protest, he walked past Aizawa. Quickening his pace to get away from people in general, wanting to be alone. Her room wasn't the best choice, but it was the only option his mind allowed him to choose now given the chance to feel somewhat closer to her, now that she'd blocked him out completely. Maybe it was a step to take to figure out a way to earn forgiveness, knowing her on a more personal level. The place she slept prior, things that decorated it. The color scheme, that certain scent she held that was intoxicating. How her bed was lined or if the clothes were neat. All of it was interesting, and he begged to know more.

Venturing through the halls from the stairwell, he took note of the girls section. Their names were written on the outside in different fonts to express themselves. Each closed off, except for one at the very end. A crack in it from being rummaged through, possibly police or the teachers.

A knot formed in his gut the closer he got, a small trim of sunlight radiating off the floor from the inside balcony door as he cautiously opened it. Creeking on its hinges, taking in the sight of the plain interior. Just like he expected it to be.

Hawks felt like an intruder, slowly entering without permission. Taking in the small bottles of perfume on the dresser, followed by other makeup items. Solid pink curtains hanging down from the sliding doors, with a picture of her parents on the wall beside her bed that was a mess. Things thrown about the room from a hurry, imagining how she quickly packed before leaving. And on the low table in the center sat a notebook, the cover littered with cat stickers that was assumed to be a diary of some sort.

His gloved fingers skimmed over the wood on the dresser as he walked past it. Thinking about how she'd been here. Studying and doing homework. Eating with friends, talking on the phone. He walked up to the bed, visioning her having a peaceful sleep for once without fear. In the same sense that he'd watch her do so, so many times now, lips parted with drool.

His eyes began to water, choking back an emotional pool that inched its way up in guilt. Trying to compose himself before letting go, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I hate you!

"I know," he whispered, letting out a shaky breath. Would there be any redemption for the road he'd chosen to take? All the lies and people he'd let down on a quest of what he thought was right? He never did question it, only went along with whatever the HPSC instructed. This case was the first time in his life that he ever had challenged authority. Willing to throw it all away if it meant he could keep her safe. On this route, a realization dawned on him that if it went on, he'd live a life in regret.

The door crept opened once more as he stood up, his eyes widened in shock at the woman who hesitantly entered. A hand clasped over her heart, the white of her eyes bloodshot from crying with tattered hair that hung a tad past her shoulders. The same color of Ochako's, same pink cheeks. A person he knew from the news that cried out or from stalking the house from afar on certain days

"H-Hello," she stuttered, entering further. "This is my daughter's room… Are you one of the hero's looking into her disappearance?"

If life was a conscious being that had a sense of humor, he concluded that it was twisted and demented. And if karma existed as well, this was it. Eating away at the tragedy falling onto those around because of him. This single day had broken and cursed him down lower than a dog, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Yes ma'am," he replied calmly, struggling to keep it together.

"I see..," her eyes looked over the room the same as he had done, so melancholy to feel her daughter's presence. A hole in her heart from where Ochako had once filled it, growing more with the time passing by. "I come here when I can. I can't sleep at night knowing she's out there somewhere.."

Hawks blinked a few times to dry out the watery feel. Watching her hand move to touch a few objects in the room. Coming to rest on the bed frame at the end. A shiver down his spine at how messed up this was.

"Do you think she's okay?," she asked in a brittle tone, staring at him with an unspoken expectation.

He nearly choked, swallowing hard with a bead of sweat forming on his brow. "I think she will be ma'am."

"Did you know my daughter?"

That question was like a punch in the abdomen, a cold sweat ripping through him in agony. "I've never met her."

The woman smiled softly, letting a few tears slip out from her eyes. "She's such a sweet girl.. She called everyday. And worked hard in school. Always putting everyone else first.. P-Please put my daughter first," she cried as her lips began to quiver, breaking down in quiet sobs while her knees buckled.

Hawks quickly caught her, feeling her hands grip his jacket, allowing her to cling to him as she cried. Choking on the sobs that weren't controlled, burning out from doing so for days. Her weak body pressed so hard into him that his arms slowly encircled her. Trying to offer any type of consolation in the embrace of a stranger, the man responsible for her daughter's demise.

He gently leaned his cheek on her hair, brows furrowed wondering what to do. And overhead behind her, he caught himself in the reflection of the dresser mirror. Stunned for a second before grimacing, teeth clenched to scowl in anger at the sight of himself. How dare he offer this woman any comfort. Truly after this, he was a monster. The same one Ochako viewed him as. And if there was anything that could save his soul now, there was only one option.

"I'm gonna bring your daughter back to you," he whispered, pulling away to look down at her with a serious expression.

She blinked, rubbing away the tears through blurred vision.

"I'm gonna do my best. And in the end, I'll find her. And return her safely to you. I promise it won't be much longer."

oo

Downstairs Endeavor sat with the other students in the main living room who bombarded him with questions that he couldn't give an answer to regarding their friend. Not like he was personally on call for it, unsure where they got that assumption from. Aizawa leaned on the wall not far off, looking at him in almost the same fashion they did in curiosity.

"Look I'm sorry to disappoint. But I've got nothing. The trails gone cold," he warned, watching their faces drop.

"But you're stationed in the same area she went missing! You and Hawks! There's gotta be something!," Deku pleaded, fisting his pants to lean closer to the man.

"I'm not repeating myself. We just came to see Shoto, now if you excuse me-" he began, but their heads turned to see the winged hero running down the stairs towards the doors.

"Hawks!," he called out, hurrying to stand. "Where are you going!?"

He huffed, not bothering to turn. "I've gotta go. Catch you later," he said quickly, flying out the front doors. The red wings already ready to outstretch and meet the air, flapping a few times to kick off his feet towards the sky with a newfound objective, his mind feeling more clear.

"Wait! Not again!," he heard his partner shout from below.

oo

I pretty much had Jimmy Eat World- Hear You Me on repeat for this chapter with the feels feeling right lol

Okay so update. This goes for all stories. The virus has pretty much ruined my life. I'm losing my home. And many other personal issues to go with it. Currently my best option is to study hard to get into school through the army, so best of luck to me if I can make it. Quite frankly from stress and studying, I'm seriously sorry to say I cannot continue Any stories. I'm really upset to have to say that but it's the reality I'm faced with, I simply don't have the mental health or time to do so. My deepest apologies for those of you that truly loved my writing. Maybe one day I'll return. But for now to truly focus, I will not come back. It hurts alot to see these stories when I pull my profile up and know that I won't ever be posting another chapter any time soon.. I hate it. But I thank you all so much for the support. I'll answer messages and if anyone comments know that I'll read it with a tearful smile. Best of life to everyone, until I come back. Goodbye.